I'm curious, are you guys seeing how Nina now is different from how she was in Take the Shot?
I'm not sure if I'm doing a good job showing how dying and the amnesia has changed her or how she's falling for Fitz all over again. I'm trying really hard to avoid the cliché, 'I remember everything now so I'm back to being the exact person I was before' plot and I think I've done a decent job with that after Coulson told Nina what she was missing.
What do you think ?
But anyway, insecurities about my writing aside, I hope you enjoy this chapter.
*
Nina was lucky enough to get back to the base at the exact time her hour was up. Did she run?... maybe, but no one needed to know that.
"Agent Ramos?" A voice called out to her when she stepped through the door. An agent was waiting for her and just like the majority of agents on the base, Nina didn't know who they were.
"Yes?" She answered with a slight questioning tone. Not many agents outside of the main team spoke to her, they were all too afraid and ever since her recent change; saw her more of an executioner than an agent.
"Director Coulson and Agent May are in his office. I was told to direct you there once you arrived," they stated, hands folded politely behind their back. Nina watched as their eyes trailed down to the scar on her neck, visible through the transparent film wrapped around to protect her tattoo.
"Thank you," Nina said, reaching up and tugging at the collar of her shirt. The action made the agent realised they'd been caught but as they gulped nervously, Nina stepped around them, heading to the office and missing the apology that left their mouth.
She wondered what could be going on for her to get called into Coulson's office. Where it wasn't uncommon for Coulson to ask for her input during assignments, Nina was convinced that privilege had been revoked the moment she submerged the basement in shadows.
She questioned whether, like Skye, she was about to be sent somewhere but Coulson had told her before that she'd remain on base, and it was unlike him to go against his word.
Nina couldn't think of a reason as to why she would be needed in Coulson's office and that worried her, though that worry did wear off quite quickly when she knocked and opened the door to hear a familiar voice follow after Coulson's.
"Agent 33 infiltrated your base to break out Sunil Bakshi?" Coulson asked confused as Nina walked into the room, she smiled widely when she saw the person he was speaking to was not May beside him but Talbot, who was on the big monitor before them.
"Turns out she wasn't working alone, either," Talbot said before his eyes locked on Nina and he smiled himself, "wonderful of you to join us, Agent Ramos."
"Why the formalities, Uncle Talbot?" Nina grinned cheekily setting down a brown box she'd brought with her as May and Coulson turned to look at her, "don't say you're still mad at me as well?"
"George was never mad at you, he was just upset," the general spoke about his son, momentarily forgetting he wasn't only in the presence of his 'niece', "but can you blame him? You died and came back to life without telling him."
"In my defence, I didn't tell a lot of people," Nina said, very aware of how weak that defence was, "they all kinda just found out through Tony's press release."
"Yeah I know, I was one of those people," Talbot rolled his eyes, "which is exactly why I understand his feelings."
Nina laughed nervously before rubbing the back of her neck, "yeah... sorry about that."
She'd honestly planned to tell Talbot that she wasn't dead before the press was informed but she ended up stuck in the pod after Puerto Rico around the same time everything went public. It wasn't really her fault more important things than her resurrection came up.
"It's alright, just take care of yourself. I don't think I can handle another funeral."
"Will do General," Nina grinned, playfully correcting her posture and bringing her hand up in a salute. Talbot smiled at the action before focusing back on May and Coulson as well as the task at hand.
"We managed to track down video of the vehicle Agent 33 used to leave the premises. Guess who was behind the wheel," Coulson shrugged, not having any idea as Talbot continued, "Grant Ward."
Coulson and May shared a look while Nina gritted her teeth. She'd pushed down her feelings regarding Ward's escape, his involvement in Cambodia and his attempt to kill her in order to focus on the things in her immediate attention. But all those feelings of heartbreak and betrayal came flooding back at the mention of his name.
"Agent 33 must have dragged him out of Puerto Rico," May stated, glancing at Nina from the corner of her eye. She had her bottom lip between her teeth and arms crossed around her chest and May knew she was trying really hard not to call the shadows to her side.
"I'm guessing we haven't heard the last of this," Coulson sighed, "your wife, how's she holding up?"
"Rattled, which is to be expected. Damn experience nearly cost me my marriage. I'm gonna be up to my ears in edible arrangements trying to make this thing right," Talbot complained while Coulson looked almost amused by his words, "I lost two men to these psychopaths. Good men."
"My condolences," Coulson said, both men turning to look at Nina for a second before focusing on each other, "it's never easy."
"Just tell me we'll get those sons of bitches, Coulson."
"You have my word, General."
"All right, then. I'll be in touch," Talbot nodded, Nina waved at him and he said his goodbye before the call ended.
"You okay?" May asked, turning to face Nina immediately, "it's a lot to process."
Nina was a little surprised by the direct question on her wellbeing so she merely nodded, muttering out a quiet just tired, before pointing to the cardboard box she had brought with her from the cafe.
"Apple pie," she stated, "a random woman bought it for me. Figured you'd like it, Coulson."
Nina had decided to just mention Dawn's intrusion on her time openly. May always knew when she was lying and this way she could ponder on Dawn's invitation without feeling too bad about keeping the context of their conversation a secret; because that wasn't lying, simply withholding information.
"Oh, I love apple pie," Coulson beamed moving over to the box, in the same manner, a child was drawn to candy, "did you get her number?"
Nina rose her eyebrow at the question before shaking her head, "I didn't . She's too much like... me."
"Is that a bad thing?" he pressed as he opened the box and smiled down at the pastry.
"With my current state, yes," Nina answered with a shrug. She looked to the blank monitor for a second before focusing on May, "I'm guessing you and Coulson are gonna talk a little about Ward. Unless it's when to kill him, I'd rather not be here for that."
"I'll meet you in the training room. Go warm up," May ordered and Nina nodded. She said her farewell to the two agents before turning on her heel and exiting the room, just in time for the faint buzz under her skin to turn painful.
She winced slightly at the change but, for the most part, acted as if nothing happened. As she walked through the hallways, she looked down at her hands. Her veins hadn't darkened and she could tell they weren't about to but something about hearing Ward's name, sent the change in her biology wild.
It seemed her shadows and the dead hated the Hydra agent just as much as she did, and that did bring a slight smile to her face.
*
Not many people could completely overpower Nina in a fight. She'd been learning hand to hand combat as well as how to use multiple different weapons from the tender age of 15, therefore she could take most people that ever tried to take her out. May, along with Natasha Romanoff, were the few people she couldn't beat as easily, or at all, and that was made very clear when May sent Nina across the training mat and into the wall.
"Come on, Nina," May said, still very much in a fighting stance as Nina rubbed the part of her head that made contact with the wall, "you're holding back."
Another thing May and Natasha had in common was their definition of training; controlled near-death experiences. And Nina was really beginning to feel that definition as her skin was painted in bruises.
"I yield," she announced, holding up her shaking arm. May had joined her in the training room an hour ago and Nina had spent that entire time being thrown around like a ragdoll. Where Nina had never actually beaten May or pinned her for longer than a second before, their sessions were usually a little more balanced than this one. The reason for that was simple, Nina was afraid to lose control
She was okay with engaging in their brutal hand to hand combat but found herself retreating whenever the buzz under her skin grew too strong or she saw shadows travelling across the mat, just waiting to escape the fabric.
"We still have an hour left, I'm not letting you quit," May stated a little breathless because although Nina wasn't doing her best, she was still better than most people. She completely ignored Nina's attempt to surrender and grabbed her by the shoulders, practically throwing her back onto the mats.
May didn't give Nina a moment to breathe before charging at her. Although May never went easy when they fought, Nina was really wishing she would now because every punch she dodged and kick she evaded meant less time keeping her powers at bay. Powers that controlled very protective shadows, that threatened to break through the fabric of the mat every time May landed a hit.
"You're leaving your left side exposed," May stated as Nina swung. The older of the two ducked under the attack quite easily and collided her knee with the very spot she'd mentioned.
A grunt left Nina's mouth at the impact and she leapt back, out of May's reach. The pain lingered for a moment against her ribs and Nina watched, with a dry mouth, as a few strands of shadows began to protrude out of the brick walls.
"May, this isn't a good idea," Nina muttered worried but May wasn't having any of it. She continued to attack and Nina tried everything she could think of to avoid the hits without sending back any of her own.
"Tighten up, Nina," she ordered as Nina ducked under her arm, "you're running away."
"Great, you've noticed. Now stop coming after me," Nina sassed as she spun out of a potentially painful hit from May. It was times like this where she was grateful for that year Tony had enrolled her in ballet lessons, "I don't want to lose control."
Clearly, those were not the words May wanted to hear as she responded by kicking Nina as hard as she could. The hit wouldn't have been that bad, had May aimed anywhere that wasn't the face but alas she did not. Nina whimpered slightly as the bottom of May's boot collided with her face and she staggered back, a hand immediately shooting up to her nose.
"I broke your collar bone when we first met. I am not above breaking your nose to get you to give this your all," May stated and Nina slowly peeled her hand from her throbbing nose.
Little specs of blood coated her fingers and her gaze darkened. Sure May and Nina fought hard during training sessions but getting hit in the nose was very unpleasant, plus Nina thought there was an unspoken rule about not going for the face.
"May," Nina whispered out as she dropped her arms back down by her sides. She didn't need to look down to feel a thin rope of shadow rise from the mat and climb up her arms, encasing her hands.
"Stop running!" May ordered, the moment she saw the anger of getting hit in the face turn into worry over the black masses, Nina was about to retreat and she wasn't going to let her. May glanced down at the shadows but didn't give any outward reaction, "you will never get control of your abilities if you never use them."
"I don't want to hurt you," Nina responded, her chest rising and falling at an increasing rate.
"You have my permission."
May charged at Nina, one moment they were standing before each other and the next, Nina was on her knees with May's arms tightly around her in a chokehold. She applied pressure to Nina's already sore neck, slowly depleting her air supply.
Nina was suddenly thinking getting a neck tattoo was a bad idea.
"May!" Nina choked out. Her hands were hovering over May's arms afraid to touch her with the shadows still encasing both her hands, unsure of what would happen if she did.
"You can get out of it. Take a breath and think," May encouraged her and Nina shook her head furiously.
To everyone else, it looked like Nina could simply manipulate the shadows to do her bidding and where that was true, everyone failed to understand that the shadows had a will of their own.
To protect her.
Nina could feel the shadows growing angrier the longer May had her in her grasp. The strands that had been poking out the wall, travelled across the blue mats and joined the shadows around her arms as their emotions grew.
Nina could feel their intentions and none were good.
"May!" the pain around Nina's neck slowly began to grow unbearable due to her refusal to let go, her thoughts were tainted by piercing pain and the anger of the dark masses connected to her.
"Think!"
Nina tried, she really did, to get out of May's grasp and control the shadows but she couldn't. She couldn't stop the anger that poured out of them or their aura made of murderous intent. So the moment a wall of shadows shot up out of the floor before them, Nina knew she needed to stop this.
"Stop! Stop, please! May!" She yelled as the wall grew closer to them. Nina was sure that with the way May was holding her, she could see the shadows too, but despite that, she never let go.
"I trust you," May whispered against her skin and Nina panicked because hearing May say something so important at a time like this was terrifying.
"I don't trust myself!" Nina yelled, her hand still hovering over May's arm. With a voice, somewhere between begging and crying, Nina called out one last time, "please, I can't be responsible for your death too!"
The emotion in her voice and the weight of the words she'd just uttered was enough to make May let go.
The moment she was free, Nina sunk further down onto the floor as the shadow wall retreated back into the mats, as did the dark ropes around her arms.
Agony filled her face as she braced both hands against the blue fabric, closing her eyes and struggling to breathe. She felt like she was having a anxiety attack, her heart was pounding against her chest, her hands were shaking and there was a familiar metallic taste in her mouth. Her mind was loud, though this time it was due to her own fears instead of voices of the dead yelling at her.
She felt like a disappointment, weak and ashamed but overall she just felt overwhelmed.
What just happened had never happened before. Usually, when she lost control, she was the only one in danger but this was the first time she'd felt the shadows she commanded, fully prepared to kill someone.
"Nina-"
Nina scrambled away as May's voice reached her ears, sensing her about to touch her. She shook her head rapidly causing May's usually blank face to form into that of pure worry as she saw the fear on Nina's. Fear that wasn't directed at her but aimed within.
"Can I-" Nina gulped slightly as her voice came out hoarse and barely audible, "can I have the room, please?"
"Nina-" May tried, not thinking leaving her alone was the best thing to do.
"Please..." she whispered out, her voice mirroring that of a frightened child.
May bit down on her bottom lip before nodding. She took a few steps away from Nina, though she remained facing her, almost worried something would happen if she didn't have eyes on her. But travelling halfway through the room, she turned around and walked towards the door.
When she reached it, she was tempted to turn back around but she ignored the urge and opened it, walking through the door without a backwards glance. The moment the door slammed shut, Nina gasped in agony as darkness surged up her veins and the room was submerged by a thick cloud of black. Created by all the shadows in the room.
Nina dragged herself towards a wall and leaned her head heavily against it. The room was pitch black to anyone who wasn't Nina, who could see through it perfectly. The aching in her body seemed to fade away as she sat, cross-legged, in the darkness and she found herself growing ridiculously tired.
She found her eyes closing at the same time a person sat beside her. They were a ghost, she didn't need to open her eyes to know that, so she didn't. Instead, she allowed herself to succumb to much-needed sleep as her head dropped down onto the blue-tinted ghost beside her.
Had she not been on the brink of exhaustion for the past hour and had Bobbi told her who she'd summoned back in Wisconsin, maybe Nina would have noticed that the muscular shoulder she fell asleep on didn't belong to Melody but actually Tobias. And maybe then she'd realise this was the second time her late fiancé had paid a visit.
"Hey bear," Tobias whispered softly. He sat as still as he could, not wanting to disturb her sleep before pressing a soft kiss against the crown of her head and saying a few words in response to the way he knew she was feeling, "you're doing great. I'm so proud of you."
Tobias knew Nina couldn't hear him but with the way she unconsciously snuggled into his side, he smiled knowing that even though he'd been gone for so long, her body still remembered the touch of his.
*
It took half an hour before Nina woke up. When she did, she was leaning against a brick wall in the training room that was no longer submerged in darkness. She hadn't stayed in the room for long, pushing herself up onto her feet and leaving only seconds after she'd woken up.
She felt dirty, having sweated a lot during the session and fallen asleep on the floor so she really wanted to shower. Which was she would've done immediately had she not walked passed the lab and seemed her fellow lab experiment on a monitor talking with Simmons.
"Skye!" She practically squealed as she jogged over towards them. Simmons moved over a little to accommodate her presence as Nina smiled into the camera.
"Nina! Hey, you look terrible. Are you bleeding?" Skye asked concerned, causing Nina's hand to shoot up to her nose. She sighed when she realised she wasn't bleeding and her skin was just stained from when she had been.
"I feel terrible as well," Nina pouted, "I was training with May."
"Ouch, how'd it go?" Skye asked. Nina responded by simply tugging down the collar of her hoodie and showing a few lines of black that were still claiming her veins. While Skye hissed at the sight, she simply shrugged before repositioning the clothing, "wait... did you get a tattoo?"
"I did," Nina nodded, she turned around and moved her hair out of the way showing Skye the dark stars on the back of her neck, connected by thin black lines.
"Oh cool! What constellation is that?"
"Andromeda," Nina smiled as she turned back to face Skye before moving the conversation along before she was asked why she chose it, "how are you? Coulson never told me where he took you."
"It's some cabin in the woods," Skye said, pouting as she tilted her head, "is it gross to say that I already miss you?"
"It's only been like half a day," Nina laughed at the question before smiling sentimentally when Skye's pout remained on her face, "... I miss you too."
Skye gasped dramatically as she leaned forward, both females missing the soft smile on Simmons' face at their interaction. Last year, Nina had quietly been fond of Skye. She helped her with little tasks here and there but often kept the title coworker between them but now Nina wasn't afraid to show how much she cared for the hacker.
Skye and Nina acted like sisters in her eyes, and Simmons couldn't help but feel sad at the fact that she'd probably ruined all her chances to have that as well.
"Was that... emotion?" Skye gasped as Nina rolled her eyes, "I didn't expect you to say it back. I thought you used up all your sentiment during our goodbye."
"I'm capable of expressing my feelings, you know?" Nina said with a smile as she watched disbelief fill Skye's face.
"Since when?" Skye asked before gasping even louder than before, "oh God, you're short circuiting! Jemma, get Fitz in there before she overheats!"
"Ha ha, real funny," Nina deadpanned, though there was humour behind her eyes. She stepped back, away from the computer at the mention of the biochemist, suddenly remembering the two weren't alone, "I'm sure you two have a lot to talk about. Call me later, alright?"
"Will do," Skye said with wave, "bye."
Nina repeated the word and left the room, after nodding slightly to Simmons to acknowledge her presence. When she exited the lab, she planned to head towards her room but that idea was quickly abandoned when she saw Fitz turn the corner in front of her. Heading towards the lab that she had just left.
"Hey Leo," she smiled as he looked up and met her eyes. He blushed ever so slightly at the flash of a close-eyed smile she'd given him before greeting her back.
"Hi. A-are you feeling okay? May told me the sparring session didn't go so great," he asked and Nina's smile dropped from her face completely before being replaced by a much smaller one.
"I'm fine. May just tried to push me to a level my psychological and physiological states are not ready for," she answered. She thought about Dawn's offer for a moment and wondered if the woman had better ways of teaching her control that didn't make her feel like death before moving the conversation along, "but now that you're here. I have a question."
"Oh, sure. Um, what is it?" Fitz asked, silently praying it was a question he could answer because he didn't want to look stupid in her eyes.
"Was I good at expressing my feelings last year?"
Fitz was surprised by the question but the seriousness in her voice compiled him to answer, "no. But you got better further into our... er, relationship."
"Okay," Nina hummed slightly, pondering on the answer before asking a follow up question, "if I was so bad, how did we get together? I'm sorry, but I can't imagine you were the one to make the first move."
"You'd be right. I wasn't," Fitz responded before telling her what she wanted to know, "you pushed me up against the wall in the hallway of a SciTech dormitory and kissed me. Honestly, best day of my life.... I mean-"
"I did what!?" Nina asked wide eyed. Yes, she was a dominant person and liked taking the led of things but what Fitz said shocked her. Sure those traits translated into other aspects of her relationships but she was rarely the type of person to be that romantically forward with someone she worked with.
"You pushed me against the wall in the hallway of a Sci-"
"I heard you!" Nina shrieked lunging forward, somewhat embarrassed that other people might hear him. Her hand covered Fitz's mouth but due to the sudden movement, he found his back pressed up against the wall with Nina's body falling against his.
"It was," Fitz mumbled and Nina responded by moving her hand off his mouth but never stepping back, "it was similar to this actually."
The way he looked at Nina made her realise very quickly that she had two options. She could, one, step away flustered and show Fitz that being close to him effected her in the same way it did him or she could, two, tease the scientist while simultaneously pushing her thoughts so far back in her head that she'd need a lobotomy to find them.
Naturally, she chose option two.
Nina leaned forward watching as Fitz gulped at the decreasing distance between their lips. She was very tempted to kiss him, he look ridiculously attractive pinned against the wall but just before their lips touch, she changed trajectory and whispered beside his ear.
"Would you like a reenactment?"
Many things had pissed Nina off lately, but nothing came close to the darkness, not created by her, that flooded the room after her sentence. The reason was quite simple. It made her miss the fluster that took over Fitz's body at her question and she'd grown to really like watching his reactions to her words.
Though the lights going off did teach her one thing, maybe Skye was right to think that she was incapable of properly expressing her emotions. After all, it took the months since she's been back for Nina to truly understand that being Fitz's partner was something she really wanted.