BRING!
BRING!
BRING!
"Shut up."
Bring!
Bring!
Bring!
"That's it!" Y/N throws the covers off the bed including his bedmates and grabs the clock.
"If you're gonna live under my house, you follow my rules! Capiché?"
The clock stopped.
"Good."
Koneko glares at Y/N from the floor.
"Maybe warn a girl next time?"
Ophis floated just above her with a smug smirk.
"Just, git gud."
Koneko hissed and pounced at the dragon.
"Ugh, another day, another petty arguement. This can't get any worse."
//ORC CLUBROOM//
"Huh? Why the hell would I clean a pool for you?"
"Because you are still making up for the floods."
"Wha-? That was last week!"
Y/N was still yet to give Rias her full job back, meaning he had to deal with responsibilities
"Ugh! Hate that word!"
"If it makes you feel any better, I'll allow you to use the pool afterwards."
"Bitch if I want to swim I'll dive straight into the ocean. I don't need your fucking 20ft deep pool."
"Too bad. You still owe me."
Y/N glared at Sona with angry scowl.
"Fine then. We'll do it, but it's going to be half-assed."
"I guess that's the most I'm getting out of you. Still, I appreciate you doing this for me L/N-san." Sona bows before leaving.
Y/N sighs before addressing the ORC. "Alright assholes, hope you brought swimsuits."
//Batman-esque transition sequence//
"When was the last time this thing was cleaned?" Issei asked with a disgusted look.
The pool was fucking hideous. The water was green and filled with dead bugs.
"Yeeeeaaaahhh... not getting anywhere near that. Akeno you're in charge of the cleaning effort, I'm going to relax in the shade."
Y/N opened up a beach umbrella and placed a plastic chair next to it. He also cracked open a can of white monster.
"Uh, are you just gonna sit and stare at us?"
"Yes."
"He reminds me of father." Rias thought, remembering a moment from her childhood.
"Alright everyone! Let's get cleaning!" Akeno raised an arm, making the water disappear.
The ORC then started cleaning the pool. Issei, wanting to impress Rias, took it upon himself to work extra hard, something the rest of the club noticed and took advantage of.
"Phew! Finished!" Issei said while turning around. "Where is everybody?"
He was standing alone in the pool, everyone else abandoning their work to relax.
"Hmm? About time you finished Ise-chan."
"What the hell! Why am I the only one wh-"
"Deal with it, cock muppet."
//Locker Room//
The bois were currently getting changed into their swimwear.
"Y/N, I feel like I should be thanking you."
"Hmm? What for?"
"For snapping me out of that edgy phase. I was such an idiot for letting my anger get the best of me."
Y/N scoffed before slapping Kiba shoulder.
"Don't beat yourself up about it. It's good to be angry at things. Let the hate flow through you."
"Was that a legit Star Wars reference?"
"Damn right it was Kibro!"
"But it was prequel meme."
"Do you just hate fun Ise-chan?"
////
Akeno quickly filled up the pool with clean water. "There we go!"
"CANNONBAAAAALL!"
SPLASH!
"Someone's impatient."
Koneko stood at the edge of the pool and lightly dipped in her toes.
"You, cannot swim."
"Nooo... what gave you that idea?"
Ophis looked over at Y/N in the pool and whistled for him.
"Whaddya want?"
"Your pet cat needs help swimming."
"I'm going to let that comment go." Koneko replied with a tick mark.
"You, are lucky I am in a generous mood today."
"Ugh. Teaching is boring." Y/N climbed out of the pool before pulling out a CD and tapping it against Koneko's head.
Koneko learned "Surf"
Ophis then pushed her into the pool before hopping in behind her.
Y/N dried himself off as he made his way back to his boomer chair before bumping into someone.
"Oh right. You joined us."
He was referring to Xenovia, who was sporting a blush as she looked at his topless body.
Because we can't forget she was a church girl.
Y/N's eyes focused as he observed her body language.
"Batting eyelashes, check. Blush, check. Playing coy, check. She's totally gonna ask to fuck."
"Y/N! I-I was just looking for you actually..."
"Stuttering, check."
"C-could you come with me?"
Y/N shrugged before going along with her. Might as well humor her.
Xenovia led Y/N to a storage shed and closed the door behind them.
"Breathe Xenovia! You can do this! Just say whatever comes to mind! Have confidence!" Xenovia hyped herself up.
"Y/N. I want to have your babies." She spoke bluntly.
...
"Big mistake! This was a terrible idea! Why would you say that of all things!?"
//Meanwhile//
Ophis gripped her forehead suddenly.
"What's up?"
"I, sense a disturbance..."
////
"Hahahaha! That's what you wanted!? Really!?"
"Well! I-I just want my children to be powerful! And you are clearly a powerful individual."
"In that case Earth-chan, if you want this power you come try and take it~"
Xenovia blushed as she shakily approached the half-naked man. She reached out to grab the sides of his fac-
SHABAM!
HOW DO YOU INTERRUPT THE NARRATOR!?!?!?
"What, do you think you are doing?" Ophis chilling voice sent shivers down Xenovia's spine.
"T-this threatening aura!"
Ophis stood in the hole she just blasted through the shed.
"And I have once again been cock blocked. You are nothing if not consistent Half-pint."
Ophis didn't dignify Y/N with a response, opting to roughly grab Xenovia's hand instead.
"I, do not recall granting you permission to pursue what is rightfully mine."
Xenovia shivered as Ophis glared at her. This emotion wasn't entirely fear.
"You, must be punished for this. Y/N, leave us."
"...Oh. OH!"
Ophis glared. "Must I repeat myself?"
Y/N blinked before leaving the shed, wanting none of whatever was about to happen.
"N-no, wait, I jus-Aaah~"
"You will speak, when I grant you permission. Capiché? If you listen, I may reward you."
Y/N sighed. He just wanted to relax in his plastic chair.
If only he knew what was waiting for him.
"Ok, Norman? I don't like the way you said that. What is waiting for me?"
The cherry clone.
"Oh. It could be wors-"
And he is sitting in your plastic chair.
"The fuck he ain't!"
Y/N took off towards the pool.
//ORC Clubroom//
Sirzechs massaged his cheek, a dark purple bruise had swelled up uncomfortably.
"Serves you right for stealing my chair!" Y/N fumed at his desk.
The ORC, minus Xenovia and Ophis, had taken Sirzechs back to the clubroom to talk.
"As nice as it is to see you brother, what is the purpose of your visit?"
Sirzechs cleared his throat before answering his sister.
"I was merely checking out the venue when I saw my darling sister and her peerage having fun. I planned on stopping by to say a quick hello when this brute attacked me."
"'Stopping by' my ASS! You were sitting in my damn chair!"
"Venue?" Asia tilted her head in confusion.
"Ah! There I go spoiling the suprise!"
"What surprise?" Rias narrowed her eyes.
"Well, with all of the incidents surrounding Kuoh these last few months, The three factions have decided to hold a peace meeting here at your school."
"You what!?"
"I was merely here making some last minute preparations for the meeting. It shall take place the day after the school's open house."
Y/N debated weather or not he should attend. He had nothing better to do, but he found politics boring.
"Y/N. It would be an honor if you would attend the meeting."
"Sure I guess. Just don't expect me to advocate for peace."
Sirzechs smiled before looking over at his sister.
"Hmm... Rias, I do believe it is time to release your other bishop."
Rias gasped. "You think I'm ready?"
Sirzechs nods before looking at the rest of her peerage. His brow furrows in confusion.
"Speaking of your peerage, where is that knight you were telling me about? The wielder of Durandal?"
As if on cue, Ophis walked through the door, trailing behind her was Xenovia. Earth-chan had a... satisfied look on her face.
"Who, invited the siscon?"
"Himself. Do I want to ask?"
"No."
Sirzechs could tell from that exchange some yuri happened offscreen. Before Issei could inquire about it, he looked at Akeno.
"Akeno, would you be a dear an-"
"Y/N broke our kettle a few weeks ago and we haven't gotten around to buying a new one."
Sirzechs glared at Y/N.
"The fuck is with devils and their tea addiction? I'm convinced you're all British."
"Well then. In that case, I shall take my leave. Goodbye everyone."
"GOOD RIDDANCE!" Y/N shouted as Sirzechs disappeared into his magic circle.
Rias got up from her seat and looked at Y/N.
"Y/N I would like to introduce you to my Bishop."
"Yay! New property!"
////
The shenanigang stood outside a door in the oldschool building that was blocked off with police tape.
Y/N decided to ignore the lame defenses they used to keep the Bishop locked inside.
"So what can this guy do exactly? He's a Bishop so it must be some magical bullshit."
"You, forget you also possess 'magical bullshit'"
Rias ignored Y/N and removed the seals on the door.
"Alright Gasper! You can come out now!"
"No! The outside is scary!" A feminine voice shouted back.
"I like this bitch." Y/N whispered to Ophis.
"Gasper, sweetie. Get out here right now, before I come in there, and beat your ass."
"You don't have the balls!" The voice shouted once more.
"Oi! Don't talk to President that way!" The simp shouted back.
"Ah! Who is that!? I don't recognize the voice!" The voice suddenly got very panicked and scared.
"Gasper, this is my pawn Issei. I also have 4 more new friends with us."
"No! Keep them away!"
"Ugh! This is taking forever!" Y/N groaned, taking a step infront of the door.
"Oh no."
SMASH!
"OH YEEEEAAA- there's nothing in here." Y/N looked around the decrepit room.
The room looked to be in disrepair. In the center of the room was a wooden coffin that Y/N could tell the Bishop was hiding in. Side note, Gasper also had a sweet gaming setup, complete with a gamer chair.
Rias sighed before walking past Y/N and kneeling next to the coffin.
"Gasper, could you please come out?"
"No! I'm just gonna hurt all of you!"
"Yeah, sure very cool let me crack this open real quick." Y/N tore the lid of the coffin open revealing the terrified occupant.
GASPER "TRAP DIO" VLADI
"Wait a minute, trap DIO? I guess this guy has a dick but what does it mean by DIO? Surely not what I'm thinking."
It was.
"Holy shit she's pretty!" Issei blurted out, making the trap uncomfortable.
"Actually, Gaspie is a-"
"Shh! Let him figure it out." Kibro cut off Koneko.
"Gasper, this is Y/N L/N."
"Fucking hell, get out of the box already!"
"Ah! Z-ZA WARUDO!" With those words, time stopped. "Phew! That guy is scary."
"Holy shit! Did you actually fucking do that!?"
"WHY ISN'T HE FROZEN!?!?!?"
"DUDE! Tell me that on top of that freaking Jojo reference, you are also a vampire." Y/N grabbed Gasper's shoulders, making him blush.
"W-well, I am a Dhampir..."
"Same thing. Anyway, DUDE YOU ARE LITERALLY TRAP DIO!"
"I KNOW RIGHT!?" Gasper's enthusiasm skyrocketed as soon as Y/N brought up Jojo. "Oh right everyone is frozen still."
"Hmm? Can't you unfreeze them?"
"No... I can't exactly control my gear."
"Hmm... so you are saying you aren't strong enough to control it. My experience playing bloodborne tells me the way to get stronger is with blood!" Y/N rolled up his sleeve. "Dig in buddy!"
Gasper recoiled at the suggestion. "Yuck! Blood tastes awful!"
...
"A hemophobic vampire? That's an oxymoron."
"Oh... I'm pathetic aren't I?" Gasper crouched in the corner of the room.
"Yeah, kinda. If you don't want the blood than there is only one thing we can do. Training montage!"
Because that worked out so well the last time he tried it.
////
That's the chapter.
Ophis made Xenovia her bitch.
So yeah, Gasper is here, and Issei still thinks he's a chick. I don't know if I'm gonna ever let him find out.
Next chapter is gonna be all about training Gasper to become the DIO that we all want him to be.
Femboy DIO