Amelia: Chapter 14 — My Decision is Clear
It's hard to believe that it's already been nearly four years since the incident at the temple.
And, by extension, four years since I met him.
A lot has happened since then, but there's one thing for certain: I'm finally living the normal life I've only dreamed of. It's true — he made good on his promise, and now I live with him. His father is usually elsewhere, but he visits often. They're both so nice... I would have forgotten what compassion felt like if it weren't for those two.
They tell me stories of their home. Apparently, they were caught up in a major mission, and are now required to investigate different remnants of the past like the temple I discovered. They still won't tell me what exactly their main goal is, but I don't pry. Their kindness is genuine, and they took a runaway like me in; that's all that matters.
Right now, I'm attending my Senior Year in High School. Currently, I'm... about nineteen-or-so years old — a little older than your average high school student. I'll be graduating in a month or so. Not to brag, but I'm sitting at the top of my class, hehe! Not too shabby for someone who's never had formal education her whole life, eh?
I'm grateful for all of the books I've read, and the experience I've received living out in the streets. It's given me so much needed proficiency in trying to balance a social and study life. As it turns out, people aren't all so bad. You just need to... be on the same level as them.
I have many friends whom I can't be thankful enough for. I have people I can openly call my family. I finally have the life that I wanted, and to top it all of, a really interesting power, though I should probably stop calling it that now...
Nah... I like calling it a power. It makes me feel like a superhero!
I reflect on how far my life has gone since the days I was waiting for my inevitable death. The fear of that is now gone — my only worries nowadays are trying to rush overdue projects, and... if I'll ever be going to university.
Woah-hoh... college, huh? I guess I really am finally living out the perfect life I've always dreamed of. It's almost too perfect in fact... but I don't stress the details, because I'm pretty sure going through something as grave as a near-death experience merits me a second chance at life, doesn't it?
As of right now, the school day is over. As my mind continues wandering, I step outside of the exit, not even realizing that it's lightly raining. It's not raining too hard, though — I can still make out the idle chatter of the numerous students surrounding me, also walking home from school. I reach into my satchel, pulling out a clear, compact umbrella.
I struggle to open it, though. This thing is always acting iffy... I should probably buy a new one. Every time I press on the bottom to unlatch it, nothing happens. I'm starting to get annoyed as I debate whether or not I should just run home in the rain. It'd give me an excuse to get in the tub first at least.
As I'm finally about to give in with the stupid umbrella, someone grabs it out of my hands. I look up in frustration, but I roll my eyes with a sigh as I realize.
"Afternoon, Angel." He greets me.
I close my bag and look towards him.
"Hiya, um... give it back, will you?
He grabs hold of the umbrella, and opens it with ease. Tch, show-off... I'll admit, though, he's a lot stronger than he looks. If he's not off doing work, he's usually in the training room busting his ass off. I incessantly tell him to stop overworking himself, but he keeps giving me vague answers in response.
He insists that he needs to "catch up with his friends," and that he "needs to get stronger, so that he can bring someone special back home to him." I understand that much, but are the people back in his home country that important to him? I kind of want to meet them for myself, so I can understand as to why he holds them so dearly despite not having seen them in several years.
As I continue thinking about his past, he tosses me the now-open umbrella, only narrowly catching it. He whips out an umbrella of his own, and he begins walking away without a second thought. I soon chase after him, and now we're walking home together.
I look over at him. I notice that he's looking up at the sky. I speak up.
"You're in a good mood, aren't you?"
He glances over at me.
"Oh, can you tell?— Ahaha
I put my hand on my hip, and give him an interrogative glare.
"Yeah, I can. I mean, when was the last time you walked me home from school?"
He looks back up into the hazy sky.
"Yeah... I suppose you're right.
I try to keep him focused on our conversation.
"Come on, you can tell me, can't you? What's gotten into you?"
I notice his smile is shaky. He's obviously happy about something, but something else is clearly bothering him, and I have a feeling that the latter is about me in some way. The two of us are usually off doing our own thing, but we're still pretty close with each other. He tells me a lot about himself and I'm positive that what he's saying is genuine, so why do I feel like I barely know him despite living with him for the last four years of my life?
After a few moments of awkward silence, he blurts out.
"Have you ever fallen in love before?"
...Awha-?!
"Dude, how am I even supposed to respond to that? And where the heck did that even come from?"
He nonchalantly shrugs his shoulders.
"I don't know; just out of morbid curiosity, I guess."
I try to play it off, answering the question as seriously as possible.
"U-Um... no, I don't think so? I've only ever started liking people recently, so- — ...gosh, I don't know the answer to that. I have zero clue about what that's like...!"
He seems to have accepted my answer, thankfully.
"Oh, sure. Don't worry, it isn't too serious or anything like that."
We remain silent for a few seconds before I try to roll the conversation along again.
"Can you, um... tell me how it feels like?"
He looks at me. I force the rest of my sentence out my throat before my brain has the time to process what exactly I had just said.
"I've never felt any kind of love before I met you, really. Romance and all that eludes me, and I'd really like to know what that feels like, s-so, um... c-could you tell me anything about it...?"
I mentally shut my ears off thinking about how stupid that probably sounded.
But, in the end, he tried to give me an answer as serious as he could:
"Love is beautiful. It's... an exhilarating feeling.
Love is like... when she doesn't judge you for your silly fear of heights.
Love is when you easily get jealous, even though all the other guy did was give her a Christmas present.
Love is like when you tell her how much you want to spend the rest of your life with her. You'd give up your dream of who you want to become, all for her sake.
Love is knowing that the future is yours to create, and that the future you want to make is one where she's yours.
Love is... wanting to see her again no matter how long it'll be until then. Even if she's moved on, and even if she's fallen out of love, you'd still give anything to see her smiling."
"Love is complicated, too. It can also be a confusing feeling.
Love is getting hurt over meaningless arguments, because words from the one you love the most hurt more than any other.
Love is painful because when you're leaving everything behind to pursue a goal that's bigger than you, you're leaving her behind as well.
Love is when... even though she's screaming and begging for you not to go... you do so anyways because you know that it's for her own good, too.
Love is when you both realize that it won't work, you part ways for the better."
He laments on these memories of his. I can't help but wonder who this boy really is behind that cold mask of power he's hiding behind. I suddenly remember the girl from the photo... she probably means so much to him, but I wonder if she even feels the same way after all this time?
Honestly... he deserves better.
But who am I to decide?
He ends off with one last remark.
"All in all, when you're in love, you'll just know. Even if you think you've fallen out of it, she eventually comes back, and you begin to fall all over again."
His sorrowful expression is more drawn out after talking about the subject of love. He seems so familiar, yet so out of it, too. I call him dense, but he's experienced much more of life than I'll ever have.
I inch closer to him, and lightly tap him on the shoulder, snapping him out of his daze.
Our eyes meet and he gives me a half-hearted smile.
"Hey, I'm sorry. I didn't come here to be a downer, so I'll just cut to the chase."
He has something else to tell me? I mean, it makes sense. He doesn't usually come and walk me home after school anymore.
He relays something to me.
"So, as you probably know by now, this isn't my real home. I moved to this place a couple months before I met you. As much as I've come to love the people of this place, I still can't shake the feeling of homesickness I feel every once and a while."
Oh. From what I know, he isn't here because he wants to be here. I try to add something.
"Well, uh, that's okay. Even though I've lived here my whole life, I still don't really like this place all that much. It's like I still remember every negative experience I've had living here, and it blows..."
He speaks up once more.
"Father and I had a talk last night. While I was typing down my thoughts on my computer, he came in unexpectedly, but I was too tired to be surprised. One thing led to another, and we had a talk about our family."
I begin to get worried.
"Is this about what I told him about the scar on your chest? Dude, I'm sorry, but it really is getting worse, and it's only going to keep getting worse if you overexert your body like that."
He caresses the scar on his chest, covered by his clothes.
"I appreciate the concern, but I just can't afford to stop training now."
There he goes again about working hard. He becomes a different person whenever I see him training. I can really tell that he's been through a lifetime of battle.
He pulls back his hand. I've seen that huge gash on his chest so many times, and it seems like it's not going to get better any time soon. I'm worried about him, how could I not be? If it gets any worse, then I have a sinking feeling that it has something to do with the image I saw at the...
Ugh, never mind... I really don't want to think about that.
I give him a concerned look because it really does bother me. He brushes it off like it's nothing, but it isn't nothing.
He drives the conversation elsewhere.
"Anyways... that isn't what he and I talked about. He and I talked about the entire reason we were even here in the first place. He told me that our investigation here is over since there's nothing substantial that we've really discovered.
Well, almost nothing substantial, rather. It's all thanks to you. We managed to recover the Golden Stone all because of your help. And it's fair to say that this whole trip was worthwhile because— if we never came here to begin with— I never would have met you."
Aw, shucks. Well, rest assured this guy knows every way to charm me.
"Pfft — Yeah, I really am amazing, aren't I?
I try to make it about me, so that I wouldn't embarrass myself trying to find the words to tell him how much he means to me.
He continues.
"My mission, overall, isn't over yet, but finding the stone is the first step we have to finding a breakthrough. I think that it's because you helped me find it is that I can finally say with confidence that...
Ahaha, sorry, can you tell I'm excited? Well, here goes... I'm going home!"
I pause for a while. It doesn't hit me immediately, but, seeing how happy he was telling me that, his contentment rubs off on me.
"That's... that's great! Holy crap, that's amazing for you, isn't it?"
Is all I can really think to say. All I know about him is that all of his friends are back at his home, so I can't even begin to imagine how happy he is right now.
His movements become more animated.
"I haven't gotten a wink of sleep at all last night. I kept thinking about all of my friends and family at home. That's what I was mostly thinking about, but I suddenly remembered about you; you were on the forefront of my mind the whole time last night.
Oh, um...
"That's super sweet and all, but what do I have to do with all this?"
He explains further.
"We're going to be leaving in about a week. The house is actually full of movers helping us pack everything. Nothing too special, just helping us load the very expensive private jet we own at our private hangar."
Oh, haha, I'm glad those lessons on sarcasm are getting through to him, but it just gets to a point where you just sound tacky.
"Do you see where I'm going with this? My concern is about you primarily. Father and I are done with our part of the mission, but what about you? You still have a little under a month left of school, don't you?"
Oh... now I see where this is going. He wants nothing but to go home, but there's one person stopping him from just leaving outright: it's me. He's concerned that if he leaves now, he'll be leaving me here alone.
His expression is masked with a smile directed towards me.
"I want to go home. Ever since I've set foot in this place, the thought of home has always been sitting on my mind. But, now, I have someone else on my mind, and that's you. I care about my friends and family back home, but after spending such a large portion of my life with you by my side, I realize that I care about you just as much.
And that's why I've come to this ultimatum: I'm going to leave that decision to you. I'll either leave you now, so you can complete school... or I'd wait until you graduate. You have just as much of a say as this as Father and I, and he and I have decided to leave this up to you. You told me how much you wanted to complete school, so we're giving you this choice right now. The problem is that I don't know how long we'll ever be staying there. As much as I'd want to stay there for good, I wouldn't want to leave you here alone.
I know it's coming out of nowhere, but my entire life has just been full of surprising people — you being one of them. I want to go home; the thought has been killing me for the last couple of years, but I'm absolutely willing to stay here for the next month or so for you. I've already waited this long; what's another thirty-or-so days?
Just say the word, and we'll call it off for now | at least until you've graduated."
...He's really willing to do that all for me? He and I stop walking for a moment. He realizes the dilemma he's put me in, and walks past me to face him. The sounds of rain disappear for the moment as I ponder on what exactly I'd really want to do. I'm so close to living out my dream of completing school, but— over the past few years— my dream has become... more complicated.
I want him to stay with me. I don't want him to go, but... is that fair for him? Whenever he and I have idle conversations around the house, the topic of his friends always, somehow, is bound to happen. Just like he said, his home means so much to him, and even though I don't fully understand it, I understand just enough to know how much he's willing to lose all so that he can see them again.
What I don't understand is how he isn't willing to lose me. Why am I so important to him that he's ready to wait for so long before going home? The question is if I'm prepared to leave school all for him. It's then that I suddenly remembered the offhand question he gave me just moments ago...
...
Have you ever fallen in love before?
...
O-Oh... ahaha...
I get it.
So many things about me suddenly gotten much, much clearer.
I lower my head below my clear umbrella as the bright city lights cut through the darkened, rainy sky. I cover my mouth with the back of my hand, trying to hide the blush building up on my face as I come to the realization that he's looking right at me.
With a devoted smile, I give him a warm smile as I declare...
"I want to stay here. My whole life, I've always wanted to go to school, and I'm finally this close to accomplishing that dream. I'm really moved that you're giving me the decision of staying with me or going back home... but I promise that you don't have to worry about me here. I'll graduate, get my diploma, and you're going to see me finally do something with my life.
I just want you to promise me one thing: when you're finally done with this mission or whatever of yours, I want you to come back for me, okay?! When you come back, I'll be caught up with you. I'll train myself and my power, and become even stronger than you. I've already taken so much from you, so I finally want to show something off for it."
He looks down at me in surprise, seemingly as if he didn't expect that answer.
"Wow, uh... are you sure? I really don't mind waiting for a little while longer; it's not really a big deal...
I look at him with conviction.
"I'm doing this for me. You already know that I'm capable, so you don't have to worry anymore. Besides, it's not like you'll be gone forever, right? If I can just make one last, selfish request... when I've graduated, bring me with you. You can do that, right?"
He responds surprised.
"U-Um, I mean, I'm sure Father can set that up somehow. The UHN is probably sick of us asking for all this, though..."
I speak up, relieved.
"See? I'll just live alone for a little while. Then, when I'm done with all this, you can just fly back and bring me with you."
It sounds unrealistic, but it's honestly the best idea I could come up with.
He speaks up
"We can request them for a second flight in about a month for you. I'll try to fight for their approval since you're the one who retrieved the Golden Stone in the first place. Yeah, that sounds good. If you're really sure, then we can get the word approved."
I nod in certainty.
"I'll graduate school, and stay with you. That's my decision."
We walk under the shelter of a tree nearby our home. We both close our umbrellas, knowing that we were here. I see all of the movers around the place moving around multiple boxes.
"They're all bringing our things to the hangar except for the things in your room, of course. I was waiting for you to say that you wanted to either stay or leave."
As we walk through the gate, he stops.
"Hey, Father and I still need to run a few last-minute errands before we leave. I'll come back later tonight so we can celebrate, alright? We'll talk about our plan to bring you with us later, so just rest up until then."
I nod and so does he. We say our goodbyes, and I'm finally back home.
Oh my God, that was so much to unpack. There was that whole discussion about love, and now he's going to leave in a week. I've already made my decision to stay, and I'm not going to go back on that. Besides, there's a possibility that I'll be going with him, so that puts me at ease at the very least.
I'm not sad or anything like that, but I do wonder what exactly the future has planned for me. It looks like my story has gotten a lot more complicated, hasn't it? That's a story for another time, though.
As of the moment, I just need to be alone with my thoughts.
I have a feeling that my life is going to take an even BIGGER turn from here on.
I just have to hope that he and I are going to pull through in the end.
By staying with him, I feel like I'll have a better idea about my heritage and my power.
My decision is clear.
He gave me my happy ending.
I don't want to deny him of his.
From here on, my journey isn't going to be about me anymore.
Even though I feel like it never really was about me in the first place, huh?
Heh heh heh... what am I doing? I guess I really do like comparing my life to a storybook even though it really isn't.
My story has been complete since I met him. It isn't mine anymore.
And it feels like it's about to become his once more.