S E R E N I T Y
♥
The first boy I ever thought I loved was named Carter Montgomery. I was in the sixth grade while he was in the seventh. He was tall for his age, naturally taking advantage of that by playing sports. He was the best basketball player my school had ever seen at least in my eleven-year-old eyes. You see, Carter wasn't your average middle school asshole athlete. He was sweet and made sure smaller, less popular kids never got picked on.
I remember the first time he ever spoke to me. I had left my English class to go to the bathroom when I clumsily bumped into him. He picked my pass up off of the floor and handed it back to me, our hands touching for more than a few seconds. He smiled at me and asked me why he'd never seen me at a game. Naturally, I asked how he knew who I was but the answer was obvious. Almost everyone knew who I was. He made some corny joke about not being able to forget a pretty face like mine and went about his day, but not before telling me I'd better be at his next game.
I ended up going and ended up in his jersey by the end of the night. Word had spread like wildfire that Serenity Taylor was wearing the Carter Montgomery's jersey. I admit the extra attention made me feel seen but it was Carter who really made my heart race. There was no Carter without Serenity and no Serenity without Carter. We did everything together, went everywhere together. My day started and ended with Carter Montgomery, he was the absolute center of my universe.
I was rather cool for my age but I couldn't stop my body's response to Carter's presence. My pupils dilated whenever I looked into his big hazelnut eyes. Even the mention of his name had my eyes wide and ears burning. My heartbeat accelerated, palms sweated. Every nerve ending in my body was electrified when his hands touched me; when he kissed me. We never did anything more than kiss, my deviance didn't begin until years later. But my heart felt like we had more, like love itself began and ended with us.
My infatuation for him ended when Carter eventually moved before I started seventh grade. He didn't keep in touch, in fact, two weeks before he left he'd acted like I hadn't existed. My heart was broken. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, I was an absolute wreck. Basketball had given me a sour taste in my mouth and I burned that lousy jersey that I once loved. Carter had given me my first crush, my supposed first love. He'd also given me my first gut-wrenching heartbreak, one that I hadn't been able to forget.
Why bring up the ghost of Carter Montgomery you ask? Because the memory of him always served as a warning for me. How easy it was to get lost in the idea of someone. It wasn't why dating never worked out for me but it was why I stayed more cautious. People weren't always what they seemed, Carter made me learn that quickly.
Noah wasn't what he seemed but my brain wouldn't allow me to think logically, I craved his chaos. It was all too addictive, his touch, his unpredictability. Noah was unstable, he was unreliable and unavailable but I wanted him. Wanted to make him mine, wanted to make him want me.
Did I have feelings for Noah Harrington?
I wouldn't have defined it in such simple terms. I didn't want to be his girlfriend or have him shout out from the rooftops that he had broken a rule for his assistant. I wasn't exactly sure what I wanted from Noah and maybe that was the problem. I blamed him for being uncertain when he'd been honest with me from the start, I knew his intentions.
So why did I lie about mine?
"Mr. Harrington, may I come in?" I asked with two hot coffees in hand. "Yes, Ms. Taylor you may enter." A smile fell onto my lips as soon as I saw Noah sitting at his desk. Today was Friday which meant employees were allowed to wear whatever they wanted. Noah never participated which wasn't a shock. I was sure he regretted the incentive all together but kept it going because it made his employees genuinely happy.
I placed his cup on his desk and sat in our awkward silence for a moment. Noah was scanning my outfit, most likely unimpressed with how many buttons I'd undone or how short my skirt was. Or maybe it was the fact that I hadn't removed my nose ring this morning.
"Where do I start? Your attire or the nose ring?" He asked, disapproval present in his voice. "It's Friday Mr. Harrington, can't you give me a break?" Testing his patience was a sweet specialty of mine.
"The rules still apply Ms. Taylor, you have to stay within them."
"You're right, I should be punished for my insolence."
Punished? No way he was going to feed into that.
"I see, and how would you like to be punished then Serenity?"
I stood corrected.
"Hey Noah, what do you want me to do about—" Drew barged into the room causing Noah to take a few steps back. "I can come back later?" He laughed. I shot him a scowl and excused myself, leaving him and Noah to speak.
"Ms. Taylor, would you swing by my house tonight around eight?" Noah called out.
"What for?" Drew shrugged, I had to agree.
"That isn't your business Andrew, Serenity?" Noah's gaze was unwavering as he waited for me to answer, for me to give him the correct answer.
"I'll be there at eight."
...
I sat in the driveway debating on whether I should've gone inside or not. Not too long ago Noah was complaining about how inappropriate it was to invite me to dinner at his house, this time he didn't even hesitate.
I sat and listened to the rain violently hit my window, blurring my vision. The rain was what I loved about living in Seattle but today it was just a nuisance. I was drenched, caught in an unexpected rainstorm without an umbrella. My hair had curled and my dress clung to my body making my skin itch. My heels were also ruined which I wasn't too happy about, they cost over two hundred dollars for heaven's sake.
I made a dash for the front door as a means to avoid any more water. Noah opened it quickly and chuckled as he watched raindrops drip from my eyelashes. "Didn't check the weather?" He teased, "you know owe me for these." I placed a wet heel on his chest and hopped into the warm, well-lit home.
"Would you like something to drink?" He already had two glasses and a bottle of wine in hand. "Absolutely, when did Bev fly out?"
"She was out of here at six in the morning, I can dry your clothes for you."
"What am I supposed to wear?"
"I have something for you." He began walking to the stairs so I followed, feeling terribly sorry about the damage I was doing to his carpet and hardwood floors. "T-shirt and shorts okay?" He held them up for me to examine and I nodded, "I'll meet you downstairs when I'm done."
After I finished drying off and tying up my hair, I trotted downstairs finding Noah already enjoying his glass of wine. "So, why am I here?" I asked with my glass in one hand and my head in the other. "I think we're past me pretending like there isn't mutual attraction here."
I took a long sip of my drink and tucked my feet under my butt, "I agree."
"So instead, I'd like to tell you my intentions Serenity."
"Go on."
He smiled and sat down his glass, giving me his full attention. "I don't want a relationship with you."
Ouch.
"That was a bit unprovoked don't you think?" I said, failing to sound like I wasn't offended.
"I know it may seem harsh but I want to be clear. I'm interested in you Serenity but it doesn't go beyond sex. It's not you, I'm not interested in a relationship with anyone. We'd obviously have to keep our relationship between us. I know you like being taken out and shown off but that won't happen here. I won't jeopardize my career for—"
"For me?"
"Serenity."
"I expected that much Noah, no need to soften the delivery."
His face faltered for a millisecond before he continued, "would you be okay with something like that with me? If not I will respect that, but what happened last night cannot happen again."
Last night.
Ah, I see now. Do you need my help? All you have to do is ask.
If you move your hands I stop, are we clear?
The memories came flooding back making my cheeks heat. As if he knew exactly where my thoughts were heading Noah chuckled lowly and cleared his throat to regain my attention. "I need a yes or a no Serenity," his voice was strained as if he was trying to hold himself back.
"If your career is that important to you, why risk it at all?" As much as I wanted to submit to him I needed the answer.
"I am a man of great restraint Serenity, it's never really been put to the test until you came along. I guess to put it simply the answer would be because I want you. I have wanted you and it was easy to ignore that until you insisted we become closer."
It made sense. Avoid me, avoid the bulge in his pants that formed whenever I was around. The bulge that was proudly on display right now. "So that's why you were so against it? Why you aren't friends with women?"
"I'm not friends with women because they'd all developed feelings for me. As arrogant as it sounds I just didn't want to deal with it. And before you chew me out I am well aware men and women are capable of having platonic friendships but that wasn't my experience. For example, you and Andrew are good friends but you flirt with each other constantly. Don't you think that blurs the lines of your friendship?"
I didn't even think he noticed Andrew and me. We'd done our best to keep the flirting a secret from Noah but that proved to be impossible. "Yes, Andrew is a good friend but we've never done anything if that's what you're getting at."
"It's not. I would have known if you had. And you both would have to face the consequences."
"See, it's that right there. You'd punish your childhood friend all because of some stupid fucking board that doesn't know how to mind their business?"
He groaned and his fist clenched, "It's not just the board. Andrew has no business pursuing you."
He was beginning to piss me off now, "why? You can't control everyone and you definitely don't control Andrew or me. You know I've been to his house dozens of times and we've been close to hooking up more than that. I could call him right now actually, I'm sure he'd jump at the opportunity."
"Enough Serenity, you're testing my patience." He stood up from the couch and headed to the kitchen, his way of dismissing the conversation only I was far from done.
"Why? Why does the idea of that bother you so much?" I pestered while following him into the kitchen. He stood by the sink with his hands gripping the edge of the counters. "I said leave it alone." The tone in his voice was enough to make me silent, to stop me from bringing up the subject ever again but there was more. There was a reason the idea of Andrew and I together burned Noah Harrington, a reason I desperately wanted to know.
"Someone as esteemed as you can't handle an adult conversation? I'm beginning to think it was you who couldn't handle a friendship with those women."
In one swift motion, Noah was towering over me, pressing my back into the edge of the counter. I held his stare but my confidence was wavering quickly and that amused him. "Because he can't give you what you want. Can't satisfy you in the way I can. Alex couldn't, and neither can he."
I swallowed hard and shifted in my stance as the throbbing in my underwear intensified. His eyes scanned my body slowly before he looked into my eyes once again and said, "look at you now. You're a mess and I haven't even touched you. I can give you what you want, make you feel good. But you have to admit it. Tell me the truth, Serenity."
"What truth?" I struggled to say the words.
His hand touched my cheek and I melted, arousal pooling in my panties. "You know what I'm talking about Serenity." His free hand traced the inside of my thigh before the pad of his thumb brushed across my clothed clit. A short gasp escaped my mouth making Noah smirk. "Don't make this harder for yourself Serenity," he whispered into my neck. His hot mouth left wet kisses along the curve of my neck causing me to grab onto his bicep.
"Noah, please." My voice was breathless, I needed him, hated him for knowing how to rile me up which only made me want him more.
"Say it." He sighed, I could feel his bulge press into me as he closed the space between us further.
"Only you make me feel like this Noah, please."
His hands gripped my waist and propped me onto the counter, knocking a few things onto the floor in the process. "Where do you want me Serenity?" He asked in between kisses. I spread my legs and watched as he got on his knees, "here?" He took off my shorts and kissed the inside of my thighs until he reached my panties, him tugging on them gently with his teeth.
"Yes," I moaned.
He slid my underwear off and spread my legs further before instructing me to lay back. I moaned loudly as I felt his mouth attach itself to my clit. His tongue was exploring me hungrily, desperately. He'd given me no rules this time so I opted to bury my hands in his loose hair, slightly pushing him further into me. "Fuck," I cried as I felt two fingers plunge into me. Noah moved slowly at first, a stark contrast to the speed his tongue was moving. I writhed around in pleasure as I felt my orgasm begin to form. Noah had me on the edge in minutes while it never came with other men.
No pun intended
I tried to squeeze my legs together but Noah only pushed them back open. His fingers began to match the speed of his tongue and I nearly drew blood from biting onto my lip so hard. Just when I felt like I was close to finishing Noah stopped and placed his lips on mine. "What are you doing?" I whined, feeling the pleasure that was building begin to diminish.
"You wanted to be punished, didn't you? Beg for it. I won't make you come until you do."
I moved my hand to finish myself off but Noah grabbed it and kissed it before placing it above my head, "beg," he commanded.
"Please Noah, I need it so bad, make me come please."
"Please what?" He asked, his mouth just inches away from giving me my sweet orgasm.
"Please, sir." Noah kissed me with a newfound need, his hands gripping my thighs tightly as he fucked me with his tongue. I felt my muscles tighten, the feelings I had felt moments before heightened and my eyes were glossed with tears. Noah slid his fingers back into me and I felt my walls tighten around them. "My God," I whined as my back arched with pleasure. When it felt like it was over another wave began to build while Noah continued licking me. "Please," I begged. I didn't know how much more I could take. Noah curled his fingers inside of me and another orgasm spilled out, after that he was finished. I laid on the counter panting as he kissed up my stomach until he reached my lips. I was so tired but I couldn't ignore the erection that poked me while he kissed me.
I sat up and began unzipping his pants when he stopped me, "on your knees," he directed as he helped me off of the counter. I gladly did as he asked and continued to remove his clothes, his dick springing out as soon as his pants hit the floor. I spit on my hands and began pumping him while I sucked on the tip. Noah threw his head back cursing, tightening his grip on the kitchen island. Satisfied by how vocal he was I pushed him further into my mouth, sucking and twirling my tongue around him.
"Faster," he instructed. He placed a hand in my hair but he didn't push. Instead, he began thrusting his hips filling my mouth completely. He was moaning and cursing which had me wet all over again. I loved men who moaned, who weren't afraid to tell you what to do or how to make them feel good. It made me want to give them everything they wanted and more. I felt his dick throb in my mouth and I knew he was close. I looked up and saw his bottom lip tucked firmly into his mouth, his eyebrows furrowed as he navigated himself through the increasing pleasure he was feeling.
"Fuck, Serenity," he groaned as he came. I swallowed of course and kept sucking until I got every last drop. "Christ," he laughed helping me off of the ground. He kissed me gently and asked if I was okay to which I responded "yes, but next time I'd like you to call me names."
He smiled, "names? what kind of names?"
"Slut, whore, bitch, that works." This time he laughed, "okay, but I won't call you a bitch I'm sorry."
Now he wanted to act like a gentleman? He was just fucking my face less than two minutes ago.
"Why not?" I pouted.
"We'll discuss your various fantasies after I draw you a bath." He explained, leaving me in the kitchen to wait for him.
"Just try it right now so you can get used to it! Come on! You won't hurt my feelings!" I called out to him.
"Absolutely not Ms. Taylor." He joked, "now hurry up before the water gets cold."
...
I didn't sleep at Noah's house that night. There was no cuddling or exchanging our hopes and dreams while he twirled a strand of my hair around his finger. I wasn't placing soft kisses on his shoulder, soothing him to sleep while he squeezed me. I was home with my wine and my plants, sorting out my feelings with myself.
Before I'd left he asked me one final time if I was okay with his terms. Tonight was a lapse of judgment but he assured me if I said no, he'd never touch me again. That was a good thing. It was good that he respected my feelings, so why did it burn me to hear?
I'd told him, "to be clear, I don't want a relationship with you either Noah. I'm capable of having sex with a man and leaving feelings out of it." I wasn't lying until the second half of that sentence came out of my mouth. I'd done casual plenty of times, in fact, it's what I preferred. I could lie to Noah, but I couldn't lie to myself. Could I really engage in a casual relationship with him and leave my feelings out of it? Eventually, I knew I'd grow to care about him. In a way I already did.
That wouldn't be good for either of us.
"Good, so we understand each other?" He replied.
"Yes, Noah we do."
I drove back home in the rain that hadn't slacked up and ran into my house in an attempt to stay dry. Setting my keys down and pouring myself a glass of wine I realized I was still wearing Noah's clothes as mine were still in his dryer. I sighed and pulled out my phone to text him, finding he was already a step ahead of me.
You forgot your clothes, I'll drop them off tomorrow.
I smiled and responded before putting my phone down for the night. Now tucked tightly into my bed, I let my mind wander to the questions I had been asked hours before.
I only wish I would've answered them honestly earlier.
♥