Inverted Colors

A Triggered Fuck You

Today I was held at gun point
Walls closing in
N' I froze
Everything within reach
Slowed with time
My mind was at war with my body
Yet my heart was at peace
The bullet in the chamber
Barrel pointed at my face
N' my mouth couldn't move
It was as if
Cement was the chapstick
That was rolled over each lip
Creating the perfect seal
I couldn't form a sentence
My mind...
Going a million miles per hour
Yet my heart was so calm
Each beat in sync
With the loud background noise
Of the city
The barrel of the gun
Barreled closer
N' with a flash
The grip came down
So hard my hands hit the cement 
The seal
That held my lips tight
Cracked
Then my lips ripped apart
I love you,
Isn't that enough?
I stood here waiting for a love
Of a lifetime
Only to get fucked in the long run
Today you held me at gun point
Yelling at me
Telling me... you wish
I was another
A small piece of me left
With every word you uttered
You pulled the clip
Loaded the bullets
Then popped the clip back in
Firing your bullets
Into my chest
Committing verbal homicide 
Is this what I meant to you
Was this a love of a life time?
Triggered
By every word you spat out
Give me one reason
To stay
Cause right now
That door I'm inching to
Is looking like the answer
To every prayer I've ever prayed
Instead of lying to me
Do me a favor and tell me the truth
Hurt me in a good way
Cuz all this shit you
Unload on to me
Seems like you're projecting
Happiness... what is that?
I Can tell you right now
It's you without me
It's healing all the wounds
I've allowed you
To inflict on me 
It's unscrambling
My mental
N' loving myself
A little harder
Each day
Fuck you
Because no matter how much
I want to hate you
I still wish you good days
Someone who'll
Do what I could never
N' love you where you stand
For better or worse
Especially on the bad days
Fuck you
I'm feeling triggered
You tainted my canvas
Ripped me apart
Carving gashes into my
Armor of skin
Shoveling shit onto my doorstep
Fuck you
Fuck you
Fuck you
Words that make me feel
Elated to yell
I'm feeling triggered
Can't you tell?!
N' all I can do is
Stop and stare
Legs shaking
Heart racing
I'm running far away
From you
Is this what it feels like...
To rebel?
I'm no longer
A bystander in my own life
Watching the time
Tik Tok away
Today I'm yelling
Fuck you
N' tomorrow I'll yell it
Twice as harder
FUCK YOU!