I was at Val's house. In his bed. He stared blankly at me with a sad look on his face. He wasn't too close to me, he was farthest on the bed away from me. His hand twitched like he wanted to reach out to me. I stopped screaming and then turned to him.
"You little bitch! YOU- you... You left me! And I- I got.." I trailed off wondering how the fuck did I get in this bed.. His eyes glistened. "You got raped... I know , you already told me.. I'm sorry." Val said outloud. His voice sounded cracking but he wanted me to hear loud and clear."It just happened you lair!" I yelled at him, as tears rolled down my cheeks. He tried to touch me but I jerked my hand away still afriad. "It was just a dream Alex. It happened. But it was just a dream this time. It happened a month ago."
A month ago? How could this be.. "You've been sick every since. Every night you dream of that wicked day." He frowns. But then I frown I feel something coming up. I run to the bathroom and threw up.
"You know I was looking for you, he just beat me to it" he says. I walk out the bathroom and looked him dead in the eyes. "You left to get the greatest fuck of your life, you weren't looking for me." I told him. "But I was, I swear it on my l- on my dead body." Whatever. He didn't swear it on his life. I felt jealous he slept with another.
"How was the sex?" I asked not wanting to look up at him. "I regret it so much. There's nothing I could do now to take it back.." Val says. I looked down at Val's shirt. There was blood all over it. "Val, what happened to you?" He smiles. "I told you I was going to kill him if he laid a pinky on you" he didn't kill him I'm sure. Just really hit him hard enough to get the blood going. Even with the hate I have for him I still ask if he's okay. "He won't ever contact you again, you'll never see him again. I promise."
Knock knock. I turn to the door. "Who's that" I hiss. "It's James he visits you everyday to see if your okay, you always happen to be sleeping when he comes over so there's not anything to conversate about" Val slowly gets out the bed and walk towards me.
"Let him in, he means no harm. If he does I will be in the bathroom listening okay" he says. He walks into the bathroom and looks at me awkward. "My hands kind of hurt could you close the door?" He asked.
I closed the door and then walked over to the front door. I opened it and there was James his eyes shot open and his jaw dropped. "A- Alex" he says in shock. "What? Weren't here for me then?" I said angry. I still remember what James did to me before I ran off. "Of course I'm here for you, could you please let me in? We should talk." He says. That reminds me that me a Val never got to talk.
I quickly grab a knife and then let him in. Pointing it at him the whole time. As he walked over to the couch I noticed his new features. His hair looked much better then it did a month ago, he has abs now. Who knew that could happen in a month. He looked cleaner, heathier, nicer? Or maybe that's just an act too. He sits on the couch and then looks at me. "You look great." I said, I had to let him know. Incase no one told him and I'm sure no one did from the way he reacted.
"Thank you Alex" he gulps but smiles. He looks at me as if he was looking at some of my new features I had too.He came here to talk but all he's doing is looking at me like a physco.
"So you wanted to talk to me?" I trail off in annoyance. "Yeah, yeah of course" he cleared his throat. "I'm so sorry for everything. I'm sorry for hitting- punching you, I'm sorry for calling you names. I'm sorry you lost alot.. I'm sorry you got abused, I'm sorry for everything." He says.
He seems to be honest about his answers. He didn't look away from me once while he spoke. I could tell he was waiting for me to speak. So I didn't say anything. Silence was for the next five minutes. "Maybe you could find a place in your heart to forgive me?" "And why should I do that?"
"Im no longer the guy who hurt you in many ways, I'm the guy who cares nothing but to protect you" he says. The honesty in his eyes made me puke. Literally. "You don't have to forgive me, just let me be apart of your life again." He says.
I'm so unconvinced he won't hurt me again. Out the blue. "Tell me why did you do it. Tell me how I know you won't do it again." I demanded. He stood up and came closer to me. To touch me. "Maybe you should sit down, you look a little heated" he says lightly touching my shoulders, but I didn't like it. Because the last touch I had was despicable. I screamed and his hands left my shoulders.
He walked back over to the couch and sat. " I went to therapy, anger management, I no longer associate with Jessica and you know him. I am in complete control now. I understand my mistakes and I would hurt myself before I hurt you" he says all at once.
He seems so put together now, at first it was like he was a train wreck, but now it's like he's.. the sunset. "Where did time go? I feel like I just saw you yesterday. We've meet yesterday. I never thought this would have happened in one month." I say, and he giggles. "It's the way you manage your time is what makes the big changes, just don't waste it because everything changes." Aw look at him being wise. I think I might like the new James.
"Well, shall we go to the park? Or go get some food? I'm starving." He stands back up and smile. He comes in for a hug, it felt uncomfortable. "Thank you, I won't make you disappointed" he says. My breathing started to quicken. And he notices he steps back to look at my face, "I'm sorry, that must have been too quick." He apologized. "You sure you want to go out? It might be a little threatening for you. Maybe something will trigger your sezuires out there" he says.
Sezuires? "James I don't have sezuires" I say confused. Where is he getting all this. "The doctors said that because of everything that happened to you, it's a big possibility you have epilepsy now" now he's lying to me? "I never been to the doctor"
"I took you to the doctor that night and they did say you wouldn't remember much from that night. Very little you'd remember they said." I was so confused on why he took me to the doctor, he could have been arrested if they found out the scars and bruises on my face was from him. "Why did you take me to the hospital?" I asked. He looked down but then struggled to look me in the eyes. It's okay cause I was afraid to look anyone in the eyes for to long now. "I was scared. You went missing after the way I treated you, I saw how worried Val was and then I got worried. We came to kole's house and do you know how big that house is?" He asked.
"We heard you yelling from outside." Oh wow, that house is really big, that's odd because most of the rooms in that house traps the sound in them. "We ran into the house in fear for you, the world could hear the both of our heart beats. It sounded like a ticking clock, like we had to hurry or we'd be too late. You looked.." he trails off. "You looked like you saw the devil for the first time"
"The minute Val saw you he charged at kole. He went at kole and I took you to the hospital." Wow... "I took you to the hospital because in that exact moment because I didn't care what happened to me, I thought I was going to lose you"
"What do you mean by lose me you lost me when you decided to abuse me." I said angry. " I never wanted you dead. I saw you in so much pain. It made me realize how much I felt for you and how you could lose someone in more ways than one." He says, water started to build up in his eyes.
I had the urge to kiss him. I have a thing for vulnerable men. It's stupid because as soon as they cry I want them to fuck me. Val is the only man I'm willing to fuck. Atleast I think Val. He hurt me in ways but I'll always love him. I felt my self starting to get wet and I got scared. I slowly backed away from James afraid of what he'd do if he noticed. "What's wrong?" He worryingly asked. I stepped farther away from him in fear. He stepped closer and with every step I back away. Dropping the knife. I needed that damn knife.
"I'm not going to hurt you" he tells me. I then look down at his bulge. His bulge says otherwise. I started yelling and crying in fear. He looked so confused but didn't stop me. He pulls his pants down. I have to admit I was shaking and still afraid but I couldn't help but stare. Val's going to kill me for this. James lifts his hands in the air. "See I'm not hard" he says.
I look back at it and back up at him making sure he wouldn't move. " You liar I see it, you are hard"
"No, I'm not" he looks down at himself from how hard I was staring. His eyes started to trail up my legs. And to my very thin nightgown my nipples poked out of them. My thighs showed. I looked into his eyes as he stared at me. He didn't look like he wanted to rape me, but who knows.
He looked at me in a way as if I was a flower. I look back down at his bulge and it's now shooting out his boxers. I jump back yards in fear and hit the floor. How the fuck.. I didn't know it could get that big.
"See,now I'm hard." He says from behind. From behind. I started Crawling farther and farther away from him and then his my head on the wall. He walks around me and kneels down. His bulge is still sticking out his pants like a sword. I looked at it before I looked up at him. To make sure it wouldn't go anywhere near behind me.
"Can I help you up?" He asked.
"No! Leave!" I scream at him. "What did I do?" He says standing up. "That! I don't want to see it again! Leave!" I point to his.. bulge. "I'm sorry I can get rid of it, just give me a few minutes." Was he seriously going to use me to get rid of it? I didn't want that. I want him to leave now. "Just leave!" He stares at me for a few seconds and frowns. "I'll leave" he whispers and he heads for the door.
As he's halfway out the door he pokes his head back in. "I'll come see you tomorrow if that's alright with you, I love you Alex." He says and then shuts the door softly.
He doesn't love me. He throws that word around alot. I get up from the floor wondering why Val didn't come out the room. I went in the room and Val was on the bed. His dick was hard too. I slowly backed away from him. He grabs my arms and then I feel paralyzed.
"I won't hurt you I promise. I just want to make it up to you for sleeping with another women." I slap my hand across his face but he asks if he doesn't feel it. His cheeks are super soft cause I felt like I didn't feel it either.
He pulls my waste in. His cock slides it's way across my thin nightgown. The only thing separating him and I. " I don't want to rush you but I would love for you to fuck me Alex" he says rubbing my hands.
"We don't have condoms.." not like he could fit in the largest size anyways. "We don't need a condom. If you don't want to do it I understand" he says it as if I am weak. Me, I am not weak. I am strong and I'm not traumatized with the fact kole raped me. I'm capable of being a women and having sex with the one man I can say I love truly.
"No I want to" with that he grins. He picks me up and gently press me on the bed. He wanted to start off with a rail but I refused. Thats what kole did when he raped me. I was on bottom and he was on top. I felt uncomfortable on the bottom but he said I should get a feel on him first before I jump on his dick.
As my hands trailed down his torso almost for getting his dick, I look back up at him to make sure he was enjoying it. "Stop trying to please me, you already please me by being in my presents. It's my time to please you love" he says to me. He leans down closer to my ear and licks it. "Can I touch you down there" he whispers. I look away from him. "Yes" I hissed. He started to suck and kiss my ear. "It's never to late, anytime tell me to stop and I'll stop okay." I don't say anything and just started kissing his veiny neck.
He rubbed his hands up and down my body. His hand slowly came inside me. It didn't hurt, I thought it would have since everything with kole but no. His hand itself felt like heaven. I usually try to hold my moans back because I don't think they should know how fun I'm having or how nice it feels. I believe if they know they'll use it to their advantage. But I couldn't help it. It felt so damn good.
The farther he went inside me I wondered was he ever going to stop sliding his fingers inside me. He stopped. I begged for him to put them back in. "No,my cock could please you more then my hand could." He says stopping to kiss me. His kiss was soft and gentle. He kissed down my body and every kiss felt like heaven it's self.
He then pulls his boxers off. I try to sit up and leave. But he grabs my shoulders "it's not going to hurt you, our bodies are meant for each other, remember" He reminds me. He slowly slides it in and his eyes roll to the back of his head. And his mouth drops open. he moans just sliding it in. And i closed my eyes how good it felt.
He wasn't even in all the way just a little. His cock stretched me, I could feel it. His cock was tight inside of me. I was tight but I'm not so sure after this fuck if I will be. I start to close my eyes. Val grunts no as he fights to keep his eyes open. "Keep, your eyes.. open" he says as he grunts. "Look me in the eyes as I make love to you" he says.
We both fought to keep or eyes open. I could tell he was about to close his. He was so close. I moaned like I was getting murdered. He hit my g-spot and he knows because how he grins. "Baby, im not even halfway in" I grip down on the bed because I had a feeling this was going to be a long one.
I opened my legs wider and wider so he could fit it all in. Val bites down on my shoulder trying not to moan to loud. Even though his moans covered the whole house. I gripped on to his back trying to hold some of my moans as well. To hold on to dear life. Val starts to cry when he's all the way inside of me. His crying just topped it all off.
My cum rushed out of me with him inside me. We both moaned so loud I think we hurt each others ears. He didn't even pull out and pulled back in. All it took was his cock being inside me. I didn't want to stop but he did. He stopped and cried on my shoulder.
"What's wrong." I struggle to say. We both breathed like polar bears. "I loved you, I wanted to have your kids. I wanted us to get married, do this, and you feel so fucking amazing. I always refered to you as my wife. To others even to you I did. I love you so fucking much." He cries. He started to pull out of me but he hit it back in causing him to come inside of me. It filled me and my eyes started to roll and I started to moan.
I felt like laughing but I couldn't this felt too good to do anything. He's crying while fucking me. I love him and it so much. "I'll always love you, I'll always be yours. I don't want anyone else." That's cheap to say at my age but if I couldn't have him I truly don't want anyone else then him.
I don't know how but it truly accord to me I was naked. I'm glad Val said on me and wasn't looking at my body. "I feel pregnant." I say, my tummy hurts. Val starts to laugh. "You aren't pregnant, I wish you were but your not. I just railed you of course it's gonna hurt a little."
But it didn't hurt like that, my gut felt different. It was throwing me off. I know I'm going to sound crazy but his cum sort of healed me in a way... And railed me? That wasn't really a rail. Im still a little scared but I want him more than I am scared. "Rail me again, harder, faster." I said, asking for a death wish. I might die with this much pleaser honestly.
"Your wish has been granted, love" he smirks. He positions me in doggy style. "Are you okay like this?" He asked. I was still afraid but I loved him and wanted his love to bad to stop. "Yes" I whispered. He bends down to look at my face. "I'll stop anytime, I won't be mad. Tell me to stop and I'll stop, we can watch a movie while I hold you. If you rather do that?" He says giving me permission to chose what I wanted.
"I want to watch a movie" I felt like I could fuck him all night but I don't want to be addicted to what I didn't have access of all the time. He gets off of me and then helps me back up and he picks me up. He walks me to the bathroom. "Open the door please, love" he says. I open the door and look in the mirror. At first I didn't see him but as I looked again I wasn't floating I was in his arms. "Look at us, we look so hot." He says.
It reminds me again I'm naked. I try to cover my body but I only have two arms. "Uncover yourself right now or I'll fuck the insecurities out of you. You're beautiful" he isn't lieing he definitely could. He almost fucked the life out of me so who says he can't fuck the insecurities out. "You wouldn't do it without my permission" I say. I don't know if I'm asking or stating. "I wouldn't do it without your permission." He states.
But he looks like he's sad again. "I should have never slept with that other women, she's nothing compared to you.. Everything is nothing compared to you" he starts to break down. Oh gosh, I totally forgot about that other women, I forgot about kole, I forgot about everything really. I can't tell you what exactly happened anymore then I could before.
"Val don't beat yourself up over it, I forgive you." I say stroking his hair. "I will never get you back , you'll fall in love with someone new. I'll never forgive myself for that." I know what he means.. I trust him still. Maybe just a little tiny bit I'm worried, just because of other people who Will throw dollars at him to fuck. Val told me that I was all he wanted so I trust him, I believe him. He slowly puts me down and starts crying on the counter. I would feel very mean to leave to put clothes on while there's a naked grown man on my floor crying.
"It's not your fault. You'll have me in this world and the after world." I say rubbing his back that still felt like heaven. He felt like heaven. An angel from heaven."if I never left like a bitch we could have worked everything out." He cries. "You didn't leave me" I blurted out what sounded like a lie.
"Who really left who though" he says. I didn't know. "We don't think back that far into it because we don't want to see who left who." He says. "We could blame each other all day and then ourselves and never really know." He sniffs. "It depends on who left first. In their mind" I say. Yet again I'm not going to think about it because I don't want to think that far. I don't want to be the blame and I know he's not to blame. But it's true it's my fault.
"It's not your fault Val, you just reacted to the things I said."
"I should have been stronger, damn I could have just left alone and cried about it!" He yells, angry at himself. I didn't want to be rude but I wondered why it still hurts him after a month. "It was so hard for me to watch you break out in sweat every night because of your nightmares that I caused. You suffer because of me. I kill you inside and you don't even know it"
I hate to see him like this. I don't know what to tell him either cause I wasn't awake. I don't know how to help him find comfort in the nightmare's I had. Maybe the truth could set him free. " My nightmares" I said. "I loved you, and I was hurt by you. I felt betrayed. But I loved you and that's why I felt all those ways." He stops crying and stands up. I cross my hands over my body because his naked body reminded me of my naked body. "We just made love, I saw your body already" he says in that after I got done crying for two hours straight stuffy voice. "You don't have to cover up for me and you know that." He says he goes in for a hug. "Thank you for your honesty" I hugged him tightly. "Do you think I could remember everything again?"
"I know you can, I'm just kinda wishing you don't."