EDEN'S COMBAT BOOTS were probably too loud for this place, but Eden refused to take them off. They looked too good with her outfit.
"Can't you be quieter?" Leo hissed at her.
Eden loaded a gun, staring down at it and letting a smirk grace her face. "Never,"
Nothing looked different. Gray morning light filtered through the hole in the roof. A few lightbulbs flickered, but most of the factory floor was still lost in shadows. Eden could make out the catwalk above, the dim shapes of heavy machinery along the assembly line, but no movement. No sign of Perfect Jason and Pretty Girl. Leo came in behind her, and she put a hand on his mouth immediately.
Something smelled wrong — like burning motor oil and sour breath. It was gross. Eden wanted to spray perfume in here.
Something not human was inside the factory. Eden was certain. She hated this feeling.
Somewhere on the factory floor, Pretty Girl's voice cried out: "Leo, Eden, help!"
Eden held her tongue for once. How could Kaleidoscope have gotten offthe catwalk with her broken ankle? Wow, Eden was so smart. The biggest brain of all time.
They slipped inside and ducked behind a huge container. Slowly they worked their way toward the center of the room, hiding behind boxes and hollow truck things. Finally they reached the assembly line. They crouched behind the nearest piece of machinery — a crane with a robotic arm or something.
Pretty Girl's voice called out again: "Eden? Leo?" Less certain this time, but very close.
Eden peeked around the machinery. Hanging directly above the assembly line, suspended by a chain from a crane on the opposite side, was a massive truck engine — just dangling thirty feet up, as if it had been left there when the factory was abandoned. Below it on the conveyor belt sat a truck thing, and clustered around it were three big boi dark shapes. Nearby, dangling from chains on two other robotic arms, were two smaller shapes — maybe more engines, but one of them was twisting around as if it were alive. Maybe it was.
Then one of the big boi shapes rose, and Eden realized it was a humanoid of massive size. "Told you it was nothing," the thing rumbled. Its voice was too deep and feral to be human. She felt her blood run colder, and colder . . .
One of the other big boi lumps shifted, and called out in Pretty Girl's voice: "Leo, Eden, help me! Help—" Then the voice changed, becoming a masculine snarl. "Bah, there's nobody out there. No demigod could be that quiet, eh?"
Eden bit her tongue and immediately almost swore out loud. Who were they to think that she couldn't be quiet? To think that she couldn't exceed basic standards—
The first monster chuckled. "Probably ran away, if they know what's good for them. Or the girl was lying about a third and fourth demigod. Let's get cooking."
Snap. A bright orange light sizzled to life — an emergency flare — and Eden was temporarily blinded. She closed her eyes and hid until everything was just . . . gone. She felt incessant tapping on her shoulder and opened her eyes to see Leo looking out. She joined him.
The two smaller things dangling from crane arms weren't engines. They were Muscle Boy and Flailing Girl. Both hung upside down, tied by their ankles and cocooned with chains up to their necks. Flailing Girl was flailing around, hence the nickname, trying to free herself. Her mouth was gagged, but at least she was alive. Muscle Boy didn't look so good. He hung limply, his eyes rolled up in his head. A red welt the size of an apple had swollen over his left eyebrow. Stinks for him.
On the conveyor belt, the bed of the unfinished pickup truck was being used as a fire pit. The emergency flare had ignited a mixture of tires and wood, which, from the smell of it, had been doused in kerosene. A big metal pole was suspended over the flames — probably a cooking fire. Every single fire from monsters were cooking fires, goddamn it.
But most terrifying of all were the cooks.
Monocle Motors: that single red eye logo. Why hadn't Eden realized? She wasn't so smart after all.
Three massive humanoids gathered around the fire. Two were standing, stoking the flames. The largest one crouched with their back to Eden. The two facing her were each ten feet tall, with hairy muscular bodies and skin that glowed red in the firelight. One of the monsters wore a chain mail loincloth that looked really uncomfortable. The other wore a ragged fuzzy toga, which also would not have made Eden's top thousand wardrobe ideas. Other than that, the two monsters could've been twins. Each had a brutish face with a single eye in the center of his forehead. The cooks were Cyclopes.
Leo slipped off his backpack and quietly started to unzip it. Eden kept looking, sheathing her gun just in case. They couldn't draw attention to themselves — then they'd for sure kill Muscle Boy and Flailing Girl.
The Cyclops in the chain mail loincloth walked over to Flailing Girl, who squirmed and tried to head-butt him in the eye. "Can I take her gag off now? I like it when they scream."
The question was directed at the third Cyclops, apparently the leader. The crouching figure grunted, and Loincloth ripped the gag off Flailing Girl's mouth.
Why was this trip so dirty minded? If Eden wanted filthy minds, she would've just gone to Travis.
Flailing Girl didn't scream. She took a shaky breath like she was trying to keep herself calm. She wasn't even flailing anymore! What a fucking shame.
The Cyclops in the toga poked at the fire, which was now blazing away and billowing noxious black smoke toward the ceiling. His buddy Loincloth glowered at Kaleidoscope, waiting for her to do something entertaining. "Scream, girl! I like funny screaming!"
When Pretty Girl finally spoke, her tone was calm and reasonable, like she was correcting a naughty boy. "Oh, Mr. Cyclops, you don't want to kill us. It would be much better if you let us go."
Gods, her voice was so good. Eden was a simp. Wait, what?
Loincloth scratched his ugly head. He turned to his friend in the toga. "She's kind of pretty, Torque. Maybe I should let her go."
Torque, the dude in the toga, growled. "I saw her first, Sump. I'll let her go!" Sump and Torque started to argue, but the third Cyclops rose and shouted, "Fools!"
Eden almost collapsed back into Leo. The third Cyclops was a female. She was several feet taller than Torque or Sump, and even beefier. She wore a tent of chain mail cut like one of those sack dresses. What'd they call that — a muumuu? Yeah, the Cyclops lady had a chain mail muumuu or whatever. Her greasy black hair was matted in pigtails, woven with copper wires and metal washers. Her nose and mouth were thick and smashed together, like she spent her free time ramming her face into walls; but her single red eye glittered with evil geniusness.
The woman Cyclops stalked over to Sump and pushed him aside, knocking him over the conveyor belt. Torque backed up quickly.
"The girl is Venus spawn," the lady Cyclops snarled. "She's using charmspeak on you."
Pretty Girl started to say, "Please, ma'am—"
"Rarr!" The lady Cyclops grabbed Kaleidoscope around the waist. "Don't try your pretty talk on me, girl! I'm Ma Gasket! I've eaten heroes tougher than you for lunch!"
Eden feared Pretty Girl would get crushed, but Ma Gasket just dropped her and let her dangle from her chain. Then she started yelling at Sump about how stupid he was.
Leo crept over to the next robotic arm while the Cyclopes were talking. Eden swore in her head and followed him, gun out in case.
"—eat her last, Ma?" Sump was saying.
"Idiot!" Ma Gasket yelled, and Eden realized Sump and Torque must be her sons. If so, ugly definitely ran in the family. Unlike in hers, she was fucking gorgeous. "I should've thrown you out on the streets when you were babies, like proper Cyclops children. You might have learned some useful skills. Curse my soft heart that I kept you!"
"Soft heart?" Torque muttered. Eden could relate.
"What was that, you ingrate?"
"Nothing, Ma. I said you got a soft heart. We get to work for you, feed you, file your toenails—"
"And you should be grateful!" Ma Gasket bellowed. "Now, stoke the fire, Torque! And Sump, you idiot, my case of salsa is in the other warehouse. Don't tell me you expect me to eat these demigods without salsa!"
"Yes, Ma," Sump said. "I mean no, Ma. I mean—"
"Go get it!" Ma Gasket picked up a nearby truck chassis and slammed it over Sump's head. Sump crumpled to his knees. Eden was so sure a hit like that would kill him, thank god, but Sump apparently got hit by trucks a lot, unthank god. He managed to push the chassis off his head. Then he staggered to his feet and ran off to fetch the salsa.
Leo moved toward a third machine. Eden rolled her eyes and followed him. As they speedran between robotic arms, the Cyclopes didn't see them, but Pretty Girl did. Must've been Eden's gorgeous blonde locks. Her expression turned from terror to disbelief, and she gasped.
Ma Gasket turned to her. "What's the matter, girl? So fragile I broke you?"
Thankfully, Kaleidoscope was a quick thinker. She looked away from Leo and Eden and said, "I think it's my ribs, ma'am. If I'm busted up inside, I'll taste terrible."
Ma Gasket bellowed with laughter. "Good one. The last hero we ate — remember him, Torque? Son of Mercury, wasn't he?"
"Yes, Ma," Torque said. "Tasty. Little bit stringy."
"He tried a trick like that. Said he was on medication. But he tasted fine!"
"Tasted like mutton," Torque recalled. "Purple shirt. Talked in Latin. Yes, a bit stringy, but good."
Eden frowned. Kaleidoscope asked, "Purple shirt? Latin?"
"Good eating," Ma Gasket said fondly. "Point is, girl, we're not as dumb as people think! We're not falling for those stupid tricks and riddles, not us northern Cyclopes."
Leo kept working. Eden looked around nervously. She was sure that they were going to get killed here. Unless she shot some bullets, pew pew pew, and dead. Boom.
But Pretty Girl still kept talking, laying on the praise. "Oh, I've heard about the northern Cyclopes!" Which Eden figured was bull, but she sounded convincing enough. "I never knew you were so big and clever!"
"Flattery won't work either," Ma Gasket said, though she sounded pleased. "It's true, you'll be breakfast for the best Cyclopes around."
"But aren't Cyclopes good?" Pretty Girl asked. "I thought you made weapons for the gods."
"Bah! I'm very good. Good at eating people. Good at smashing. And good at building things, yes, but not for the gods. Our cousins, the elder Cyclopes, they do this, yes. Thinking they're so high and mighty 'cause they're a few thousand years older. Then there's our southern cousins, living on islands and tending sheep. Morons! But we Hyperborean Cyclopes, the northern clan, we're the best! Founded Monocle Motors in this old factory — the best weapons, armor, chariots, fuel-efficient SUVs! And yet — bah! Forced to shut down. Laid off most of our tribe. The war was too quick. Titans lost. No good! No more need for Cyclops weapons."
Too quick my ass, Eden thought bitterly. It went on for seventy years, and she'd lived for sixteen of those.
"Oh, no," Kaleidoscope sympathized. "I'm sure you made some amazing weapons."
Torque grinned. "Squeaky war hammer!" He picked up a large pole with an accordion-looking metal box on the end.
He slammed it against the floor and the cement cracked, but there was also a sound like the world's largest rubber ducky getting stomped.
"Terrifying," Pretty Girl said. Eden had to agree.
Torque looked pleased. "Not as good as the exploding ax, but this one can be used more than once."
"Can I see it?" Pretty Girl asked. "If you could just free my hands—"
Torque stepped forward eagerly, but Ma Gasket said, "Stupid! She's tricking you again. Enough talk! Slay the boy first before he dies on his own. I like my meat fresh."
"Hey, wait," Kaleidoscope said, trying to get the Cyclopes' attention. "Hey, can I just ask—"
The wires sparked in Leo's hand. The Cyclopes froze and turned in his and Eden's direction. Then Torque picked up a truck and threw it at them.
Eden rolled as the truck steamrolled over the machinery. "Holy shit," she whispered to herself.
She got to her feet, and Ma Gasket spotted her and Leo. She yelled, "Torque, you pathetic excuse for a Cyclops, get them!"
Torque barreled toward them. Leo frantically gunned the toggle on his makeshift remote as Eden reached for her gun.
Then the first robotic arm whirred to life. A three-ton yellow metal claw slammed the Cyclops in the back so hard, he landed flat on his face. Before Torque could recover, the robotic hand grabbed him by one leg and hurled him straight up.
"AHHHHH!" Torque rocketed into the gloom. The ceiling was too dark and too high up to see exactly what happened. Eden didn't bother to figure out what happened.
Torque never came down. Instead, yellow dust rained to the floor. Torque had disintegrated.
Ma Gasket stared at Leo in shock. "My son . . . You . . . You . . ."
As if on cue, Sump lumbered into the firelight with a case of salsa. "Ma, I got the extra-spicy—"
He never finished his sentence. Leo spun the remote's toggle, and the second robotic arm whacked Sump in the chest. The salsa case exploded like a piñata and Sump flew backward, right into the base of Leo's third machine. The third crane arm slammed him against the floor so hard, he exploded into dust like a broken flour sack.
Two Cyclopes down. Ma Gasket locked her eye on him. She grabbed the nearest crane arm and ripped it off its pedestal with a savage roar. "You busted my boys! Only I get to bust my boys!"
Leo punched a button, and the two remaining arms swung into action. Ma Gasket caught the first one and tore it in half. The second arm smacked her in the head, but that only seemed to make her mad. She grabbed it by the clamps, ripped it free, and swung it like a baseball bat. It missed Kaleidoscope and Muscle Bot by an inch. Then Ma Gasket let it go — spinning it toward Leo and Eden. Eden immediately said nope and dove away just as if broke a machine right behind her. Yikes.
"Any more tricks, demigod?" Ma Gasket demanded.
Leo looked up before looking at Eden, and she swore she saw the parts of a plan form in his brain. She nodded at him, motioning at her gun.
"Heck, yeah, I got tricks!" Leo raised his remote control. "Take one more step, and I'll destroy you with fire!"
Ma Gasket laughed. "Would you? Cyclopes are immune to fire, you idiot. But if you wish to play with flames, let me help!"
She scooped red-hot coals into her bare hands and flung them at Leo and Eden. They landed all around his feet.
"Oh shit," Eden muttered.
"You missed," Leo said incredulously. Then Ma Gasket grinned and picked up a barrel next to the truck. Eden just had time to read the stenciled word on the side — kerosene — before Ma Gasket threw it. The barrel split on the floor in front of her, spilling lighter fluid everywhere.
Coals sparked. Eden let out a scream and water doused over her, though it completely missed Leo. She turned and saw the fire dimming and he wasn't even hurt.
You fireproof, little boy? Eden mouthed.
Don't call me a little boy. Well, that answered her question.
Kaleidoscope gasped. "Leo? Eden?"
Ma Gasket looked astonished. "You live?" Then she took a step forward. "What are you?"
"Eden Achilles-Fairchild," Eden smirked. "I could've murdered you ten times faster, but unfortunately my friend here made it all dramatic. I hope you don't mind."
"And I'm the son of Hephaestus," Leo said. "And I warned you I'd destroy you with fire."
He pointed one finger in the air and shot some fire at it.
The flames died. Literally nothing happened. Ma Gasket laughed. "An impressive try, son of Hephaestus. It's been many centuries since I saw a fire user. You two will make spicy appetizers!"
"I don't think so," Leo said.
Ma Gasket didn't even have time to look up.
Smash! No more Cyclops — just a pile of dust under a five-ton engine block.
"Not immune to engines, huh?" Leo said. "Boo-yah!"
Then he fell to his knees, his head buzzing. Eden swore and knelt beside him and hit his head a couple of times, her head swimming. She took out the leftover ambrosia from Pretty Girl and broke it in half, shoving it in his mouth and putting in her own. Tasted just like the fucking huge ice cream sundae her, Thalia, and Rachel had had once.
"Hey!" Leo stuttered after a minute.
"Yeah, you'll be fine," she decided, getting up and walking over to Pretty Girl, getting her out of the chains and willing the water away. Together they lowered Fun Police, who was still unconscious. Eden managed to trickle a little nectar into his mouth, and he groaned. The welt on his head started to shrink. His color came back a little.
"Yeah, he's got a nice thick skull," Leo said from the ground. "I think he's gonna be fine."
"Thank god," Pretty Girl sighed. Then she looked at Leo with something akin to fear. "How did you — the fire — have you always . . . ?"
Leo looked down. "Always," he said. "I'm a freaking menace. Sorry, I should've told you guys sooner but—"
"Sorry?" Pretty Girl punched his arm, grinning. "That was amazing, Valdez! You saved our lives. What are you sorry about?"
"Yeah," Eden smirked. "Your dramatic ass plan worked."
"They're forming again," Leo said. "Look."
Eden's breath stopped for a second. "That's not possible. Monsters dissipate when they're killed. They go back to Tartarus and can't return for a long time."
"Well, nobody told the dust that."
Eden watched as it collected into a pile, then very slowly spread out, forming a shape with arms and legs.
"Oh, god." Kaleidoscope turned pale. It was not a good look on her, to be quite honest. "Boreas said something about this — the earth yielding up horrors. 'When monsters no longer stay in Tartarus, and souls are no longer confined to Hades.' How long do you think we have?"
"I don't know," Eden said. "But we need to get out of here. Now, losers, get the fuck out!"