I wrote this Jason x reader a while back and I re-read it again this morning. I thought I might share it with you guys.
"Jason is dead."
Those were words that you had never wanted to hear. You'd never wanted them to be said. Your partner in crime-fighting and best friend. Gone. Never coming back. It was too much. Too much for you to handle. Too much to comprehend. Someone who had always been a presence in your life, suddenly not. Not there anymore. Not teasing you, not joking with you, not smiling at you, not covering your back. Not existing.
"No," you said, trying to swallow the lump that had formed in your throat, "No, he can't be. He just can't!"
Bruce was looking at you with a devastated expression and Dick stepped forward to put a hand on your shoulder.
"Y/n," he murmured, hand outstretched, but you jerked away, something you never thought you would do when it came to Dick. But you did.
"No," you said again, tears blurring your vision but you refused to let them fall, "No! You're lying! You're both lying!" You whipped your head in the direction of the only other person you knew you could trust completely, "Alfred? Please."
Tell me it's not true.
The butler's expression was enough to confirm what you dreaded. A sob wracked your body and you hunched over, covering your mouth and falling to your knees.
"No," you whispered, but this time it was in defeat rather than defiance, "Jason."
He was dead. Your best friend was dead.
And you didn't even get to say goodbye...
FIVE YEARS LATER
"Phoenix, status report."
You crouched down on a nearby rooftop and surveyed the area around the abandoned warehouse.
Why is it always an abandoned warehouse?
"Phoenix to Batman, I am in position. The warehouse looks to be abandoned, but that is never really the case, is it?" You murmured into your comms unit.
You could hear Tim's soft chuckle at your comment on the other side of the line, but Bruce simply said, "Can you get closer? Look through a window?"
You paused, scanning all possible hiding places near the windows.
"Yeah, I think so. There's a stack of crates a few meters away from a window."
"Good. Go take a look."
You climbed down from the roof and hurried across the open space, hoping your black cape hid you from anyone nearby. The crates were old and brittle-looking, so you navigated through them cautiously. When you got to a secure spot, you peeked through a gap in the wood and trained your eyes on the window.
There weren't any lights on inside, and nothing seemed to be moving, but that didn't necessarily mean no one was home. You were just dealing with criminals smarter than most—if you were even dealing with criminals at all.
"Phoenix to Batman. I can't see anything suspicious through the window. I'm going to see if I can get inside," you whispered.
"Report anything that could be a lead."
"Copy that."
You snuck along the walls, feeling every window and door to see if it was unlocked. Eventually you came across an open window and slipped inside.
The warehouse was near the docks, and by the smell of it it had probably been used to store fish. There were empty crates all along the walls and puddles of rain from the leaking roof. Above your head was a network of walkways that stretched over the space and connected to the slightly bigger walkway up against the wall.
You walked silently through the shadows, eyes scanning for any sign of movement. The moon shone through a crack in the roof, making a sort of spotlight come down to the middle of the floor.
You were just about to tell the others that it was a dead end when a flash of red movement caught your eye.
You whipped around to stare at the spot where something had been. Heart beating wildly, you crept slowly towards the shadows, squinting to try and see if anything was hiding there. Maybe it was a rat or a mouse-
Bam! Everything went black.
———
You woke up to find yourself in someone's bedroom covered in a moth-eaten blanket and a sharp pain at the back of your head. When you tried to sit up your vision swirled and you lay back down again, groaning.
As if triggered by your sound of pain, the sound of hurried footsteps were heard outside the closed door. You braced yourself to fight your way out of there, but the footsteps stopped just outside the door. As if whoever was there had hesitated.
Just as you'd made up your mind to escape before they came in, they opened the door.
The image you saw couldn't have been real. It just couldn't have. Whoever had captured you had probably given you some weird form of the fear gas or you were just dreaming, because there was no way that Jason Todd was standing in that doorway, looking at you with a mixture of caution and concern in his green eyes.
You sat up, furiously blinking back the black spots that threatened to impare your vision.
"Who are you! What have you done to me! How do you look like... like him," you choked on that last word, afraid to say his name.
He stepped forward, putting a hand to his chest, "Y/nn, it's me. Jason."
You shook your head, tears coming to your eyes, "No... No! Not this again! You're not real! You're not real! Jason died five years ago, you're just a figment of my imagination! I can't... I can't go through this again," you put your face in your hands to hide their shaking.
After Jason had died, you had fallen into strong grief. You had started seeing things... seeing him wherever you went. You would forget he was dead and when you figured out that it was all your mind playing tricks on you, you would feel like he'd died all over again. You would lose him all over again.
You hadn't gotten a vision like that in two years, and for it to be starting up again was not a good sign.
Someone laid their hand on your shoulder and you tensed.
The way you had realised that Jason wasn't real in your visions was the fact that when you tried to touch him—or he tried to touch you—your hand would pass right through his. So for you to be feeling his hand on your shoulder right now was impossible. Unless...
Your head shot up and you saw he was crouching next to you, his face level with yours. You reached out hesitantly with your fingers and brushed the stubble on his chin. You gasped as you felt the rough hairs and the warm skin. Tears sprung to your eyes again, but this time you let them fall.
"Jase?" You whispered, eyes roving over his face. He looked older than you remembered. No longer a teenager.
He smiled softly, the expression so familiar to you that you knew, right then, that this was your best friend. He was alive.
You gave a sob and flung your arms around his neck, crying into his shoulder. He gripped you tightly, stroking your hair like he always used to.
"How-... how are you here?" You asked, pulling out of the hug to look at him, hands coming up to brush the white streak in his hair, "And where did you get this?"
He swallowed, "It's... a bit of a long story."
You sat there for who knows how long with him as he told you everything. How he had died, how he had been resurrected. How, even though he had died, he had still aged, somehow.
"Why are you in some random apartment? Do you have any idea how happy Bruce and the others would be to see you?" You said, gripping his hands.
His expression darkened, "I'm not going to see Bruce."
You frowned in confusion, cocking your head to the side, "Why not?"
He scowled at the floor and you could feel the rage radiating off of him, "Because he let me die. Dick too. I was tortured by the Joker for hours and then left to burn while Bruce did nothing. I put my faith in the Batman and he spat that faith right back at me."
You shook your head, "No, Jase, you don't understand. Bruce was doing everything to find you. He and Dick were doing everything they could. They just didn't make it in time."
Jason gave a bitter laugh, "You have faith in them too and I know there's no way to convince you otherwise."
Dread filled your stomach, "Jase... I don't want to lose you again. I don't think I could-"
Jason's head shot up and his eyes locked onto yours, "No! I-I'm not going to shut you out too! You're my best friend. You're the only one in this whole damn world that I trust!"
You sagged in relief, resting your forehead on his shoulder, "Good. You're my best friend too, Jase."
"No one take that title while I was gone?" He said, tone light.
You grinned into his shoulder, "No one could live up to you."
He chuckled softly.
"You still have that crush on Grayson?"
You smacked his arm and blushed, "No."
He smirked and poked your cheek, "This says you're lying."
You glared at him, "Shut up Todd."
———
Over the next few months, you would sneak to the old apartment building in the poorer parts of Gotham to visit Jason. He'd told you he didn't want Batman and the others knowing he was alive and you humoured him, hoping he would eventually change his mind.
Some people would wonder how you managed to sneak around Batman like that, but you were trained by the best detective himself, so you knew how to deceive him.
You never felt guilty about not telling them, because it wasn't your choice not to tell them. Besides, you had your best friend back. You weren't going to jeopardize that.
Speaking of jeopardizing friendships, let's talk about your little crush on Dick.
Ever since you'd joined the Bat team, you had had feelings for the Boy Wonder. He was always so cheery and kind and had the most perfect smile you had ever seen. Not to mention he had accepted you without a question when Batman introduced the two of you.
Him being almost seven years older than you, you didn't expect for him to ever reciprocate your feelings, but a girl could only hope.
Jason had known about your crush as soon as it had started. He was your best friend and therefore knew you better than anyone. Since then he had teased you non-stop about it.
"I brought pizza," you said as Jason opened his door.
It had been six months since you had found out he was alive and the bliss you felt now that he was back hadn't lessened at all. Not even the difficult case you were working on with Bruce and Tim could ruin that.
Jason grinned at you, "Good. I've got a movie you need to watch."
You raised an eyebrow as he dragged you into his living room.
In the beginning you had had to help him financially, as he had been dead for five years and didn't exactly have any money. You had even helped him get some registration as Peter Johnson and a job at a local library (because books).
Now his apartment no longer looked abandoned and even felt homey.
"What movie are we watching?" You asked, grinning at your best friend.
His green eyes sparkled, making your stomach tingle. Huh, that was new.
"Mission Impossible."
You snorted, "Jase, I've seen this movie."
He nudged your shoulder, "I know, but we've never watched it together so it doesn't count."
You smiled at the memory his words triggered. When you and Jason were younger, you both decided that any movie you hadn't seen without each other didn't count as actually being seen. It was a childish rule, but you loved it all the same.
During the movie you were so exhausted from the work you'd been doing that you fell asleep on Jason's shoulder. When the movie was done, your best friend poked your cheek gently and you stirred.
"Wha-... did I... did I fall asleep?" you murmured, blinking up at him.
He gave you a soft smirk, "A little. What made you so tired, Y/nn?"
You sighed, "It's just this case me and the boys have been working on. Some guy in a red hood is going around Gotham shooting criminals. We don't know who he is or what's on his agenda, but we intend to find out."
Jason frowned slightly, "If he's shooting criminals what's the problem?"
You shrugged, "Personally, I've noticed that the criminals in particular he's shooting are rapists, murderers and the like. These are really bad people. So I don't think we need to arrest this red hood guy or anything, but finding out more about him would be helpful."
Jason stared at the blank TV for a few moments, expression unreadable.
Finally he said. "And what does... what does Bruce think."
You knew he hated talking about the Dark Knight himself so you tried to keep your answer as light as possible, which was hard considering the topic.
"Bruce is adamant that anyone who kills and calls it 'justice' is wrong. He wants to bring this guy in."
Jason nodded, expression still difficult to decipher, "Have you told him your opinion on the matter?"
You shrugged, "I don't see the point. It's not like he's going to change his mind. We both know how stubborn he can be."
Jason gave a dry laugh, "Yeah.
"Besides," you said, trying to lighten the mood. "Any vigilante trying to kill the criminals should know better than to do that in Gotham, of all places. Everyone knows Batman's main rule is no kills, only captures."
He shrugged, "Maybe he's trying to make a point. Send a message."
You bit your lip, "Maybe... but what that message would be, I have no idea. That's why we need to find out who this guy is."
Your best friend swallowed and gave a sigh, "I guess so."
———
"JASON PETER TODD! OPEN THIS DOOR OR SO HELP ME I WILL KNOCK IT DOWN!" you screamed, hammering on the door to Jason's apartment.
Jason didn't answer, but you knew he was inside. No silence had ever sounded so stubborn.
"I WARNED YOU!" you shouted, getting reading to kick the door down.
But then he opened it, glaring at you.
"Go on," he said, "Say what you want to say. Tell me. I'm a big boy. I can take more rejection."
You stormed into his apartment, "You're such a dramatic little sh*t, you know that? Why didn't you tell me? Did you not trust me? Was I not your best friend?"
Jason gave a bitter laugh, "If you were really my best friend you wouldn't have stayed with Bruce after my death."
The jab hurt more than you wanted to admit, but you didn't let him see that.
"You listened to me go on about how hard this case was, how frustrating it was to work till my mind couldn't go any longer, yet you failed to mention you were the effing Red Hood all along?! What the HELL is that about?"
Jason shook his head, "I don't have to explain myself to you."
Your frown deepened, "There was a time that you would have gladly told me anything. What happened, Jason? Why are you killing people? You were never like this. I never thought you could be like this."
Jason had had enough and he exploded in a rage.
"You want to know what happened?!" he shouted, striding over and pressing his face very close to yours, "I died, that's what happened! I was dead for FIVE YEARS and then resurrected by, not my loved ones, but the very people I'd been taught to hate. I was ALONE! I have no one and nothing. THAT is what happened to me, Y/n, and if you cannot accept that then you're no longer the friend I thought you were."
You squared your shoulders even as your heart broke at his words. You could see a flicker of regret in his eyes after he realised what he'd said, but he made no move to take it back.
"Fine," you said, "I'll leave you be. But just remember, you're not the only one who suffered five years ago. Sure my suffering maybe wasn't as much as yours, but I lost my best friend. The person I loved more than any other in the whole world. You were gone, Jason. You stopped existing."
Then you walked out the door.
———
Three weeks.
It had been three weeks without your best friend and it was killing you. You felt like you did those first few months after Jason's death. Your visions even started coming back and they were even worse than before. You now saw Jason in your dreams and nightmares, often waking up screaming. It was horrible.
Then one night, after a particularly horrible nightmare, you were left shivering with fear and anxiety. The others didn't know what to do so they called the only person who could help.
Jason came as soon as he heard the condition you were in. He didn't even think twice about the fact that he was going to Wayne manor or that this could be a trap. He just grabbed his jacket and got there as fast as he could.
When you saw Jase, you thought he was another vision again, and you tried to run away, but he put a hand on your shoulder and you froze.
Then, like flicking a switch, you launched at him, tackling him in a fierce hug.
"I'm sorry," you sobbed, "I'm so sorry, Jase. Please don't leave me."
Jason felt his own eyes grow wet at the state he'd put you in, "I'm the one that should be sorry, Y/nn. I'll never leave you. Not again."
You fell asleep in his arms that night and it was the best sleep you'd ever had.
———
From then on, Jason had sort of forgiven Bruce and the rest of the Bat family. He could sometimes be seen around the manor, talking to Alfred or teasing Tim. You no longer had to sneak around to visit him.
He even came to the next gala Bruce hosted, but undercover as a second cousin twice removed of so-and-so. You, Barbara and Cass got new dresses and had fun getting ready.
"He'll love it," Barbara said, coming up behind you as you examined the dress in the mirror.
You frowned, "Who will love it?"
She raised an eyebrow at you, "Jason. You know? Your best friend and possible soulmate."
You blushed and shook your head, "What makes you think he's my soulmate! We're just friends!"
Cass appeared in your other side, "Sure."
You sighed. Tonight was going to be long.
At the gala, the girls' words started messing with your head. You couldn't stop looking at Jason the whole night. Not even when Dick struck up a conversation with you. You'd had this crush on the first robin for so long, you had forgotten what it would feel like to catch feelings for someone else.
Deciding to figure your feelings out once and for all, you forced yourself to listen to what Dick was saying, focusing on his face and the way his expression changed. You waited for the normal butterflies to fill your stomach, but nothing happened. In fact, his perfect smile that used to make you swoon, now seemed too perfect.
Strange.
Later that evening, Jason came up to you at the bar and sat down on a stool. You glanced at his expression and grinned.
"Why the long face, Todd?" you teased.
He gave a sigh and ran a hand through his dark hair, drawing your eyes to the curled white lock that fell across his forehead. You loved that white lock.
"I never got so many girls chasing after me when I was 'alive'," he said, making air quotes with his fingers, "I guess that now they all think I'm some rich guy's son and not the guy Bruce Wayne picked up from the street, they've decided I'm irresistible."
Something twinged in your chest and you immediately wanted to hunt those girls down and tell them to stay the f*ck away from Jason Todd. However, you kept your cool and simply said, "I would think you'd be a lot happier about that?"
He chuckled, "No, I'm not really interested in any of them."
You nudged his arm lightly, "Another one caught your eye?"
He grinned at you, the grin lopsided yet the most infuriating thing you'd ever seen, "Wouldn't you like to know."
That was when it hit you.
The butterflies that were present now, but absent around Dick. The anger you felt when hearing about Jason's fangirls. The longing in your heart when you saw his green eyes...
You had fallen for your best friend.
———
After you realised your feelings for Jason, you found yourself unable to act normal around him. You were always flustered and nervous and fidgety. It was annoying.
Jason seemed to notice the change too and that scared you senseless. If he found out how you felt about him... it would be mortifying and would probably ruin your friendship. You couldn't bear the latter.
That was why, when he invited you over for a movie night, you said yes. If you'd said no, he would have started suspecting something was wrong.
The movie was going well. You had arrived and spoken to him easily, not once stuttering or blushing like a tomato. You even managed to let him put his arm across your shoulders without combusting.
However, fate was against you.
"So when were you going to tell me you and Dick are dating?"
You choked on the pizza you were swallowing and spent the next five minutes catching your breath while Jason patted your back apologetically.
"What?!" you said eventually, wiping tears from your eyes.
He raised an eyebrow at you, "You know what I said."
You shook your head, "No. I don't because what I heard you say was that you think Dick and I are dating and that cannot possibly be true because we're not."
Jason scoffed, "Come on, Y/nn. You're my best friend. You don't have to hide it from me."
You gave him an incredulous look, "Jason, I'm not hiding anything from you! Dick and I are not dating."
"Then why have you been so weird around me recently?" he exclaimed, movie forgotten, "Why have you been stuttering and blushing and coming up with obviously fake reasons to leave? Why have you been avoiding me while acting like it's nothing? Why, Y/n? Please, I need to know."
The hurt in his voice was evident and you immediately felt bad. He thought he was losing you. Again.
"Oh no, Jase. I'm not avoiding you," you said gently, putting a hand on his arm.
He stared at the floor, "Yes, you are. Stop lying to me! You have no idea how much it hurts to see the one person I love most in the world drift away and I can't do anything about it! It's horrible having fallen for someone who is so obviously in love with someone else!"
Your breath froze in your chest and time stopped. You stared at Jason in shock and he realised what he had just confessed.
"Oh god," he said, putting his face in his hands, "I'm so stupid! Y/n, please forget what I just said! Can we just go on like nothing happened?"
"What if I don't want to forget," you said, heart beating wildly in your chest, "What if I want to have this moment carved in my brain for the rest of my life?"
He looked up at you, confusion on his face, "What...?"
"I love you too," was all you said before slamming your lips onto his.
Despite his shock, his response was almost immediate, mouth moving against yours smoothly. Your one hand gripped his hoodie while the other tangled itself in his hair, pulling him as close as humanly possible.
The first brush of his tongue against yours felt like heaven and you moaned softly into his mouth, causing him to respond by pulling you onto his lap. His lips moved from your mouth to your jaw to your neck, latching to the skin just beneath your ear and sucking and biting to leave a mark.
You whimpered and whispered his name, fingers tightening in his hair.
When he eventually pulled away, his lips were swollen and his hair was dishevelled. You had a feeling you didn't look much better.
"What happened to your crush on Dick?" he said, his tone light, but you could see in his eyes he was terrified of the answer.
You kissed him gently, stroking the side of his face, "I got over it. One day I looked at him and realised that I would much rather be looking at you."
He gave a shuddering breath, eyes fluttered shut.
"It hurt so much to think that you loved someone else when all I wanted was to kiss you like I did just now."
You pressed your forehead against his, "I never loved Dick. Not really. It was a stupid schoolgirl crush. But I do love you. I love you so much that sometimes I find it difficult to breathe."
He chuckled softly, breath fanning over your cheek, "I know the feeling."
Thanks for reading ;)