I'm sitting in the middle row of the wedding venue. Obviously, hell nervous.
So yeah, just trying to distract myself by thinking other stuffs than this wedding.
But I can't help myself noticing the fact that this is really not the kind of wedding I imagined this would be.
He always wanted a beach wedding, then why did he choose this wedding hall?
The hall is decorated with white roses. But didn't he always want lilac? I feel confused.
I probably spaced out for the nth time.
“Are you sure you can do this?” Jin hyungs voice brought me to reality.
“Yes.” I pushed a smile.
I looked at the watch in my wrist. Wearing the Rolex watch he gifted me on my birthday six years ago. He had brought me many watches 'cause of my affection, yet this one is my most favorite. I check the time. It's almost 4 p.m.
I was about to get my phone from the pocket.
Meanwhile, the main entrance slowly opened, to be honest, I don't have the guts to turn my head back and see who's the person. I hang my head down.
“He's here.” Jin hyung slowly whispered in my ears.
As I hold hyungs hand, I slowly look up to see him.
He's standing near the priest, with Jimin hyung beside him.
Why is he wearing grey? I mean it's his favorite colour I know, but he always wanted to wear a black tuxedo in our wedding. Never mind. It's just a suit. He looks breathtaking in this grey set, too.
He's wearing the suit with white shirt and a black tie, which is making him look ten times hotter than usual.
I always used to tell him that white shirt and black tie is totally his thing, and he used to laugh at it.
His black hairs are covering his forehead and eyebrows. He has straightened his hairs. I liked the wavy black look more though, but not gonna lie, this hairstyle suits him too. It kind of compliments his eyes.
He's wearing his usual strawberry chapstick, I can tell. He looks cute somehow.
The flower of his diamond plated Chanel earring is dangling, I kind of don't like the earring. If it were someone else, I'd definitely say it looks ugly, but somehow it looks good on him.
Okay, is there anything that doesn't look perfect in this man? I guess no.
By looking at his face, I can tell he's nervous and to hide it, he's pushing a fake smile.
He's blushing too. But not everyone can notice it, 'cause somehow he hides it from everyone. But can't be hidden from me.
He looks ethereal if I will be honest.
I don't know for how long I've been staring at him. Staring at someone isn't sinful, right? Or is it?
My eyes are tearing up. I've been holding it since a while now. I've got pretty good at it with time.
I snap out of my thoughts when Namjoon hyung sat beside me and said, “Hey bud!”.
“Are you okay?” he added the question. He's trying to act cool.
But I can feel the concern in his voice. Namjoon hyung is more like a father figure to me. He's someone who genuinely cares.
“I'm okay hyung.” I said, not looking at him.
“We can go back home anytime if you want.” Jin hyung told me.
“I know. But I don't want to.” I replied.
My voice cracked while saying those words. I'm breaking with time. This was supposed to happen. I knew. But I had to attend this wedding. For him. For myself. And most importantly, for good.
Once again I look at him. He's smiling. His breathtakingly beautiful boxy smile.
He's looking at the entrance, I simply follow his sight.
She is entering, with her bridesmaids walking along. She's wearing a gorgeous white bridal dress. Holding a bouquet of white roses. Smiling so beautifully. This is my first time seeing her. I can't deny the fact that she is really pretty. She's skinny too. This is making me more insecure about my weight. And other things too.
We are totally opposite to each other. She's everything I'm not.
She is completely looking like a queen. Perfect for the king who's waiting for her, standing near the priest.
He once told me, “Not every king needs a queen.”
Well, I guess he did need one. He got one. A really beautiful one.
As she went near to him. He forwarded his hand towards her while smiling. She gave him a shy smile and accepted his hand.
They are standing while facing each other now.
They look so perfect together.
My eyes got filled with tears because of the sight.
And once again my heart broke into pieces.
“Kookie, I can't see you like this. Please, let's go home.” Jin hyung held my hand tightly.
“No hyung it's fine. I needed closure. And I'm happy for him. I'm happy seeing him happy.” I told Jin hyung and just yanked my tears.
I started to feel more broken as the Priest started to say the vow.
“Do you, Kim Taehyung, take Kim Do Hana as your lawfully wedded wife?” He asked.
My sight became blurry as my eyes again got filled with tears. My heart started to ache. This plain is unbearable.
Tae, It's been five years. I tried moving on. But I couldn't.
I tried to hate you for not giving us another chance. But I couldn't.
I tried to hate you for having the audacity to invite me to your wedding. But I couldn't.
At first, I didn't want to come, but I guess I could've never missed the chance to see you being a groom.
I always wanted to see you as a groom, wearing a nice suit, standing near the priest, saying the vows. Wanted to see your wedding.
Just the difference is, I wanted it to be with me.
If things were okay, if you had given us just one more chance, this could've been us.
But I guess fate had other plans.
And even after all of these, I can't deny the fact that I can't stop loving you.
I can't. I can never stop loving you. Ever.
Well, I've accepted the fate. I'm truly happy for you. But I can't control my broken heart either.
I put my AirPods in and play my favorite song by Gnash, as I slowly close my eyes and let my tears make their way rolling down my cheeks. And simply feel the music.
I hate you, I love you
I hate that I love you
Don't want to but I can't put
Nobody else above you
I hate you, I love you
I hate that I want you
You want her, you need her
And I'll never be her.
Sitting in the middle row of the wedding venue. Jungkook continuesly shakes his legs left and right. A nervous habit he has since childhood.
But this isn't good. He shouldn't be nervous.
So yeah, he tries to distract himself by thinking about other stuffs than the wedding.
Not even a few seconds passed, his eyes once again starts wandering around the venue.
He cannot help noticing the fact that that is really not the kind of wedding he imagined it would be.
𝘛𝘢𝘦𝘩𝘺𝘶𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘢 𝘣𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘩 𝘸𝘦𝘥𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘸𝘩𝘺 𝘥𝘪𝘥 𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘸𝘦𝘥𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘢𝘭𝘭?
The hall is decorated with white roses. But didn't he always want lilac? Jungkook feels confused.
He keeps wondering and thinking about the hall and the decorations. How differently it's decorated.
He probably spaces out for the nth time.
“Are you sure you can do this?” Jin's voice brings him to reality.
“Yes.” he pushes a smile. A weak one. Because, can he?
He looks at the watch which is adorning his wrist. Today, he's wearing the Rolex watch Taehyung had gifted him on his birthday six years ago. He had brought Jungkook many watches because of his affection, yet this one is Jungkok's most favorite.
He checks the time. It's almost 4 PM. Almost /the/ time.
He puts his hand inside his pocket, in order to fish for the phone from inside.
But the main entrance slowly opens.
Jungkooks heart starts to thump faster.
To be honest, he doesn't even have the guts to turn his head back and check who is entering.
He quickly hangs his head low.
“He's here.” Jin slowly whispers in Jungkooks ears. Voice soft as ever. Filled with care and sympathy.
Putting his hand on top of Jin's, Jungkook grasps it, seeking some kind of support. Jungkook slowly looks up to see Taehyung.
He's standing near the priest, with Jimin standing beside him. Two bestfriends smiling ear to ear.
𝘞𝘩𝘺 𝘪𝘴 𝘛𝘢𝘦𝘩𝘺𝘶𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘨𝘳𝘦𝘺?
It's his favorite colour. Jungkook knows that really well. But he always wanted to wear a black tuxedo at their wedding. Jungkooks' mind gets filled with questions once again.
𝘕𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘥. 𝘐𝘵'𝘴 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘢 𝘴𝘶𝘪𝘵. 𝘏𝘦 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬𝘴 𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘨𝘳𝘦𝘺 𝘴𝘦𝘵, 𝘢𝘴 𝘸𝘦𝘭𝘭.
Jungkook tells himself. More like he tries to convince himself.
Taehyung has paired the suit with a white shirt and a black tie, which made him look ten times hotter than usual.
Taehyung has paired the suit with a white shirt and a black tie, which made him look ten times hotter than usual.
Jungkook used to always tell Taehyung that white shirt with black tie is totally his thing, but he used to laugh at it. A little smirk of proudness forms in the corner of Jungkooks lips. But it fades in the speed of light.
Taehyung's silky black hairs covering his forehead and eyebrows. He has straightened them.
Jungkook used to love the wavy black look more though, but he's not gonna lie, this hairstyle doesn't look bad at all. It kind of compliments Taehyungs eyes.
He's wearing his usual strawberry chapstick, Jungkook can tell even from far. He looks cute somehow.
The flower of his diamond plated Chanel earring is dangling, Jungkook doesn't like how the earring looks. If it were someone else, he would definitely have said it looks ugly, but somehow in Jungkooks eyes, it looks good on Taehyung.
𝘖𝘬𝘢𝘺, 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴𝘯'𝘵 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘧𝘦𝘤𝘵 𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘮𝘢𝘯? 𝘋𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬 𝘴𝘰.
Just by looking at his face, Jungkook can tell he's nervous and to hide it, he's pushing a fake smile.
He's slightly blushing too. But not everyone can notice it, because somehow he hides it from everyone. But can't be hidden from Jungkook. So Jungkook keeps reading his face.
He looks ethereal. Jungkook can't deny that.
Jungkook doesn't know for how long he has been staring at Taehyung, without even blinking.
𝘈𝘥𝘮𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘢𝘧𝘢𝘳 𝘪𝘴𝘯'𝘵 𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘧𝘶𝘭, 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵? 𝘖𝘳 𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘵?
His vision slowly starts to turn blurry, a sign that he's tearing up. He has been holding himself up for a while now. He has gotten pretty good at it with passing time. But sometimes it becomes really hard. The emotions take over the heart and that's it.
He snaps out of his thoughts when Namjoon sits beside him, “Hey bud!”. His voice is soft as ever. “Are you okay?” he asks, namjoon tries to act calm.
But the concern in his voice can be easily felt. Namjoon is more like a father figure to Jungkook. someone who genuinely cares.
“I'm okay hyung.” Jungkook says, not daring to meet Namjoon's eyes. Because he knows,the moment he'd look into Namjoons eyes, he's going to completely break.
“We can go back home anytime if you want.” Jin says.
“I know. But I don't want to.” Jungkook's voice cracks at the last part.
Even if he tries his best to be strong, keep his heart strong, he can't help but slowly break with time.
This was supposed to happen. He knew. But he had to attend this wedding. For Taehyung. For himself. And most importantly, for good.
Once again, Jungkook looks at him. He's smiling. His breathtakingly beautiful boxy smile.
Taehyung is looking at the entrance. so Jungkook does something he shouldn't do, something he might regret, he simply follows Taehyungs sight.
She is entering, with her bridesmaids walking along. She's wearing a gorgeous white bridal dress. Holding a bouquet of white roses. Smiling so beautifully. This is Jungkooks first time seeing her. And Jungkook can't deny the fact that she is really pretty. She's skinny too. Which makes Jungkook more insecure than ever. Some old flashbacks start hitting back to back.
And all the negative thoughts start gathering one by one.
They are totally opposite of each other. She's everything Jungkook is not. Knowingly, a sigh leaves his lips.
She looks completely like a queen. Perfect for the king who is waiting for her at the altar, standing near the priest, looking handsome as ever.
Taehyung had once told Jungkook, “Not every king needs a queen.”
Well, guess he did need one. He got one. A really beautiful one.
As she steps almost near. He forwards his hand towards her. Shyly, with tinted cheeks, she accepts the hand. They stand facing each other.
𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘴𝘰 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘧𝘦𝘤𝘵 𝘵𝘰𝘨𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳.
A voice inside Jungkooks mind says.
And once again, Jungkook feels his heart shattering into pieces.
“Kook, I can't see you like this. Please, let's go home.” Jin holds his hand tightly.
“No, hyung it's fine. I needed closure. And I'm happy for him. I'm happy seeing him happy.” Jungkook tells Jin and he shakes his head, yanking the brimming tears away.
The ache inside his heart increases as the Priest starts to say the vow.
“Do you, Kim Taehyung, take Kim Do Hana as your lawfully wedded wife?” He asks.
At this point, no matter how much Jungkook tries, his tears won't stop. And the pain inside his heart starts to become unbearable.
It's been two years. Jungkook has tried moving on. But he couldn't.
He tried to hate Taehyung for not giving them another chance. But he couldn't.
He tried to hate Taehyung for having the audacity to invite him to the wedding. But he couldn't.
At first, Jungkook didn't want to come, he could never have missed the chance to see Taehyung being a groom.
Jungkook always wanted to see Taehyung as a groom, wearing a nice suit, standing near the priest, saying the vows. Wanted to see Taehyung getting married.
Just the difference is, Jungkook wanted it to be with him.
If things were okay, if Taehyung had given them just one more chance, this could've been them.
But fate really had other plans.
And even after all of these, Jungkook can't deny the fact that he can't stop loving Taehyung.
He can't. He can never stop loving you. Ever.
Well, Jungkook has accepted fate. He is truly happy for Taehyung. But he cannot control his broken heart either.
Wanting an escape , Jungkook puts my AirPods on and plays my favorite song. He slowly closes his eyes and lets the tears make their way rolling down his cheeks.
He simply feels the lyrics that mix up with reality. Loud screams come from the void inside his heart. And he wants nothing but to be felt by someone just like he feels the music.
“𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶, 𝘐 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶
𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘐 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶
𝘋𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘐 𝘤𝘢𝘯'𝘵 𝘱𝘶𝘵
𝘕𝘰𝘣𝘰𝘥𝘺 𝘦𝘭𝘴𝘦 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶
𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶, 𝘐 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶
𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶
𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘩𝘦𝘳, 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥 𝘩𝘦𝘳
𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘐'𝘭𝘭 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘣𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘳.”
-----•THE END•-----
A/n~ Hey lovies! This is my first ever oneshot written literally a year ago and I'm republishing this because i wanna start the sequel once again. And if you're reading this, just wanted to say thank you. Hope you liked the story. Have a good day.💜