Hi guys!
I know I am late, and for that I give you a longer chapter as an apology.
And also, the updates will be weakly from now on. Every wednesday, no specific timing.
Enjoy!
Borahae!💜
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Collecting myself, I say, "What are you doing!?" trying to break my hand free from his grip.
"No." He interrupts me, refusing to let go of his hold on me. "What are YOU doing, huh?"
"What!?" I ask at his accusing tone, oblivious of what the fuck he is on about,
Gritting his teeth, he answers, "Why are you ignoring me?"
Hearing his question, I scoff, going on defensive mode. "Excuse me! I am ignoring YOU?"
"Yes."
Alright! If he wants to pretend that he wasn't the one acting all prideful and ignorant before, I'll play along. He's going to be the one regretting either way.
"Well, don't you think that might be because you deserve it? You don't think you did something that would lead to me ignoring you, Taehyung?" I ask him absurdly, still trying to get my hand out of his grip, which he still refuses to let go
"No. I don't think so. All I did was put some sense into you and pushed you in the right direction." He gets closer to me. SO close, I can feel his breath on my face.
"Reallyyy!? Excuse me if my memory doesn't serve me right, but weren't you the one who called me a bitch?" I cock my head.
"Um, Weren't you the one acting like a bitch and planning to leave your soulmates?" He throws it back at me. Offending me, boy.
"You all were practically strangers to me! What the fuck had you expected!? I would bear out my heart to you, trust you and accept you all in a matter of an eyeblink!!? Just because you are my soulmates!? That is ABSURD!" I breathe heavily, my heart racing fast.
All my life, I have avoided confrontations. Talking about what I think is hard for me, showing any emotions is a no-go. It is something that I just can't do. Eric was there all the way. Still, it wasn't easy for me to completely be vulnerable in front of him. But this man! He just knows how to push my buttons. God, He is making me talk, and I do not like it. Still, I won't stop now. Not now, This has to be said.
"NO!" he slams the wall beside my head, getting more close to my face; I have to look sideways to avoid contact as he speaks, gritting his teeth. "IF you were acting all cold and ignorant because you wanted to take time to KNOW us before committing and diving into this, it would have been fine; it even would have been welcomed. But you did all that not to know us but to push us away to get back with your past lover! How had YOU expected us to react!? Did you think we would be okay with you stomping all over us to get back to your boyfriend? The same boyfriend who left You for his soulmate. Do you really think he was worthy of your love and sacrifice?"
"No! Don't you dare bring Eric into this. Whatever happened, he is still my friend, and he left me because he cared for all the lives that would have been affected by this, as in Yours! Also, I have never wanted ill for any of you. I would have sealed our bond, and we all could have been happy with the ones we would choose."
"You really think we could have chosen someone else when we knew you were out there, that at last, we were going to be together because you're the one destiny wants us to be with." He asks, his eyes going soft. Looking into them, for a second, I forget that we were fighting; this is the first time he has let me see the vulnerability in his eyes, and something tells me being vulnerable isn't easy for him as well.
Looking away, I say, "Anyway, moving on. After talking with my mother, I have decided to give this a chance. so why are you bringing this up again when I have already apologized?"
"That's the thing Selene, You have apologized and mended your relationship with everyone. Everybody except me. How do you think I feel about that?" His eyes, giving out an emotion I couldn't put my finger on.
"I don't know. I didn't think you'd care." Shrugging, I tell him honestly.
"Why did you think that?"
"Because you don't like me from day one, and you've been ignoring me like a plague, and you are always glaring at me. What else am I supposed to think? You don't act that way when you care, Taehyung." I sigh as I tell him.
The way he has been acting has hurt me, even if I don't have the right to say so. I know I hurt them first, but I get it now, and I want to know them now. And his unspoken rejection stung.
"You think I am ignoring you?" He asks, a bit surprised as he finally softens his grip on my hand, backing away just a little.
"Yes, obviously." Even when I know that I could free my hand now that his grip has loosened, I don't. I let him hold my hand. Craving the little connection our souls are getting from our little encounter.
"What makes you think that?" Pure confusion displayed in his eyes.
"I don't know? The fact that you never talk to me? Leave the room when I enter? Avoid making any eye contact?"
"I don't avoid eye contact; you do. And I don't talk to you because you are always preoccupied with someone. And I leave the room because-" he abruptly stops. His expressions tell me he said something he thought he shouldn't have. Still, I push.
"Because..? Because what Taehyung? Because you don't want to be near a bitch like me? Because you don't want me near your friends? Because you think my face so hideous that you can't look at it for-"
"Because it hurts, dammit!" Shouting, he interrupts me. "Because it hurts to see you all smiley and happy with the others and ignoring me. Even with Jungkook, you act like you guys are such good friends while you avoid any interaction with me, your own soulmate." He whispers, making me completely shut up.
When I don't say anything, he looks up with misty eyes. "I know you don't want me. Why would you, when you have everything you could ever want in those three? They're the brains, beauty, and the heart. But you're the only soulmate I have. And I want to be with you, even if I have to be at the bottom of your list."
Hearing him breaks my heart; I didn't know he felt like that. I never intended for him to question himself. Freeing my hand from his grip, I cup his cheeks, making his eyes stay on mine. "No. You never were and never will be at the bottom of my list, Taehyung, because there is no list. I want you. I never approached you because I thought you didn't want me. I want all of you. All of you hold a piece of my soul; it won't be complete if I don't have you."
Taehyung doesn't say anything for a minute, only looking into my eyes. As if to ensure himself of the sincerity behind my words. When he finds what he is looking for, he shuts his eyes as he comes closer and rests his forehead against mine, hands covering my own that are still holding his face.
"Thank you," he whispers. "I really needed to hear that. You have no idea how much I had been thinking about it, but to see that you don't feel or think that way is a huge relief like a weight lifted off my shoulders."
"Well, it's true. And stop looking down at yourself. You are the brain, beauty, and heart, as well and much more. And I am sorry. I should have come to talk to you instead of making any assumptions. I would very much like to know you, Kim Taehyung. If you will let me." I whisper back. Completely baring my heart out in front of him. Because he had as well, and I want him to know that he will not be the only one making efforts in this relationship. We need to start at the right foot again, and that's what I want to make this into. A fresh start.
"I wouldn't want anything more. Thank you. And I'm sorry for calling you a bitch too." He apologizes in his deep, hoarse voice, sending my stomach a tingle.
"I forgive you. I kinda was being a bitch that day." I chuckle, and he follows.
"Yeah, kinda."
We keep staring into each other's eyes, forgetting that a world outside us exists.
After a couple of minutes pass of us drinking each other, I whisper, "We should get back. Everyone must be wondering."
"Uh-hmm, We should." he agrees but doesn't move.
"Taehyung!" I push at his chest slightly.
"Alright." He says but instead of backing away, he comes closer, too close as he brushes his lips against my left cheek slightly, surprising me. And then he disappears like a light. As if he was never even here. Leaving me taken aback.
Coming back into my senses, I touch my cheek where his were not even a minute ago as a small smile play on my lips. Shaking my head, I move to the kitchen as well.
It has been the most intimate and vulnerable moment I have had with any of my soulmates. And I am glad it was with him, since we both are afraid to be vulnerable.
I laugh as I step into the space, remembering how fast we went from screaming at each other to stripping off our defences and exposing our thoughts.
"What?" Jin asks, curious to know the reason behind my amusement.
I look at Taehyung before looking back at him and answering his question, "Nothing. Come. Let's eat."