"A war, you say?" Hilda's chilly demeanor slowly oozed out as she took in the news.
"I don't know when or where—but I definitely saw the war banner of Vasilias in there," Answered me to Hilda. "And I can't explain everything clearly, but one thing I know is, that's not just a dream...I can tell it."
"I know, Barbara." Hilda tucked the disordered blanket when she saw how disturbed I was. "If we go by the book—First, I need to consult madam Niera on this, and then make an official report to The high council if it's deemed necessary."
'For how long? What if the war had started already?' Conflicted with my own fear, I clench my teeth in frustration.
"But lucky for us, they have made ample preparations in case something like this did happen." As if she had caught on to the confusion, Hilda reassured me. "Ever since the day that The Sacred One called us, our scouts were tasked to find movements from the outside. Especially around Vasilias, due to your connection with Him."
Hilda then smiled weakly, almost apologetic. "That's why, if you can just wait just for some time—we'll know the answer for sure by then."
"If what I dreamt is set to happen, will you...will Fysi let us go?" I had to ask.
"You're leaving!?" Lia's concerned voice rang abruptly in the room. "No, don't! It's really, really dangerous, Barbara."
I couldn't retort to Lia's dismay. Because I, myself, knew how dangerous it would be—and moreover, how unprepared we were. That's why I have to hear Hilda's answer above all else before I set the next step.
"Sooner or later, you will have to leave, my dear—" Hilda stroked my cheek tenderly, as her soft words brought about the answer we both already knew of. "No...you are fated to leave because your destiny doesn't stop here. It's just that we will be very sad when the day comes—Especially my crybaby Bria."
"Mother!" And then it was Rebecca's turn to raise her voice, seemingly confused as to why Hilda didn't even try to talk me out of it.
It was after that; did I finally catch a good look at my Friends' faces. Anya was gnashing her teeth visibly, trying her best not to burst out of anger in front of Hilda. Freya, too, had a rare change of look on her usually frisky smug, spelling about incredulity on the folds of her face.
As for Lia, she was wiping the ongoing tears that streamed down her eyes while the sobbing hiccups stifled the serenity of the brightly lit room. And finally, there was Rebecca, who still couldn't wrap her head around the ridiculous logic of Hilda's and mine. Quite similar to the other three, she spent the moment rooted in blooming haze...and maybe anger too.
'I'm sorry...' It was a sentence that I couldn't say yet in front of them. And the fact that Filtiarn was not there with me only made the loneliness that hugged me feel ever so tight and suffocating.
"The war itself won't happen overnight, Barbara." Hilda's words once again drew our scattered attention. "We have always put in the best of their efforts at preventing them. At the very least, it will take two to three years at the earliest."
"Is time the problem here? With all due respect, aunt Hilda—It's a war that we're talking about here. Not to say three years or two, even if it is for another decades or more; how can we let Barbara go there!?" Anya finally broke loose. "What can she do in an ongoing war? She'll fight? They'll kill her if she fights without magic, and if she uses magic, they'll chop her head off, all the same, the minute they find out."
"I agree with Anya. I think letting her go to a war doesn't make any sense whatsoever." Freya voiced her discontent. "Let's say it'll happen; rather than letting her go alone to her early death, isn't our very pledge dictates so we can help Fysi prevent that very war? One way is, maybe as a diviner, Barbara can use her talent to figure out the important details or something along those lines..."
"Y-yeah, how about transferring to the house of Mantis, Barbara? You...*sniff... can be a diviner there rather than a scout." Said Lia—pleading even. "You don't have to be there to do something about it, right...? Barbara? I'm scared—"
"No!" I didn't know what took over me, but when the blood rushed wildly into my head, I snapped at her—And worse yet, I couldn't even control the impulse afoot. "Why are you guys deciding things for me!? I'm right here, still alive and breathing. Who gives you the right to do it!?"
Lia gasped and choked breathless as she stared at me in disbelief. I heard in my head what I had said after that, but the arrow had been shot already, and it pierced something I didn't mean it to pierce. My friends' looks that day were something I would never forget for the rest of my life.
"Who gives us the right!? Are you seriously saying that you bitch!!?" Anya screamed and shouted her lungs out. If it were not for Rebecca and Freya, she would've come flying and punched me in the face for sure.
Cued by Lia's exit, Freya and Anya went after her. Leaving me with the mother and daughter duo alone in the room.
"I did mention for you to not get friendly with people here," Rebecca's low voice pounded hard on my heart. "But then I believed it was wrong of me to say that—no, you and Lia made me believe that, despite the short days we have spent together...But maybe, we were mistaken to think of ourselves as friends to you..."
Warm tears began pouring out when I saw Rebecca's figure leave the room. Her words and my friends' expressions kept resurfacing, again and again, crushing my guilt-ridden heart to the bitter end.
But the torture didn't end there. The memories when Lance and Macie left us and the night of my last goodbye with Pa and Ma came out from an unknown vortex of dread, harrowing both the mind and soul alike.
And before I knew it, I was wailing bitterly in Hilda's arms.
I cried and cried to vent out something into the merciless world—As if I was trying to find some answer to all that plagued my muddled soul. I remember that day as the one where I cried myself a bucket in Hilda's embrace and the one thing I never got the courage to say in front of my friends.
'I'm sorry...'
***
Two weeks had almost passed since I was told to sit and wait for the news from above the ground. Hilda told me she would not keep anything away and be honest with me. Her genuine tones didn't waver even when I practically became a regular in her office, so I reckoned she ain't messing around.
Being awkward with the girls played a huge role in how I became a frequent visitor to Hilda's office, though. The esteemed headmaster herself apparently knew it too, yet she didn't gloss over it as if to spare me from the depressing interrogation that I would love to avoid.
Lia still continued the morning exercise, but instead of doing it with us as we agreed on when it started, she did it separately. No, to be perfectly honest—It was us that did it separately from her. I got no excuse—because it was awkward as hell, I woke up earlier and exercised on the far end of the training ground, away from her.
Anya still talked to me, such as reminding me to do laundry and small greetings when we caught each other's eyes, but that was it. I guess that was how she coped with me, trying to distance myself away from them.
I oftentimes see Freya in the class and the dining hall. Still, I never again saw the four girls sitting at the same table and eating like the last time I remembered us doing. Five people with five different tables, that was how we spent breakfast, lunch, and dinner for the two weeks that brewed a teeth-grating amount of guilt within me.
And the last one, Rebecca—She outrightly played along with my charade, treating me as if I was a passing breeze. It was an honest and so Rebecca-like response that I wasn't even surprised anymore.
I knew it was all my fault because it was not like I wasn't given a chance to patch things up with them after the whole incident in the healing ward. Instead of owning up to those mistakes and telling them the truth, I took the chance to shut everything down and push everyone out.
I didn't know why I did such an idiotic thing, but the truth was, I did them anyway—and the fact that I knew how stupid it was simply made it all the more unbearable. It sucks so bad that I even prayed for the whole world to turn deaf for just one minute just so I could scream and bellow my frustrated heart into the gutter.
If there was any consolation that could cheer me up above all the predicaments I caused—it was how better Filtiarn got at talking with me.
He still wasn't at the level where he could spout some pearl wisdom and slap me some sense back, but Filtiarn was truly good at saying the latter half of my name. And whenever I was down and feeling all blue, he would lick my hand lovingly while saying 'Bara...' to comfort me. Must I say more? He was cute beyond the realm and the word cute itself.
So that's that. Thanks to him, my dismayed days had thankfully become somewhat bearable. Even when I got badgered by the tumultuous feelings that were keen on pushing me nearing the cuckoo land, day by day.
'It's the letter from Bria again, Fil.' Sighed in exhaustion, I took the letter Bria wrote me to the main hall. Spotting the familiar reclusive corner, I delved through the content.
It went basically like the last two letters she wrote me. The only difference was how clearly she expressed her concern, which took up almost half of the letter bodies.
I couldn't answer her. So, like a coward that I was—I never got to reply to her letter...not even once.
"Well-well, I thought someone said that ya found some chums to play with. But what's Miss smarty-pants pouting 'ere all alone in the most depressing corner in Thessia?" A condescending sneer broke out.
The venue and time were different, but strangely enough, It made me remember when she first appeared before us. With her signature arrogant and annoying smirk, Nafiri waved a laid-back greeting and approached us.
I never thought that the sight of her would make me choke, to the point of almost starting blindly crying on the spot. But I had my pride, knowing that it was Nafiri who stood in front of us. I would die first rather than bawling my heart out of the blue. No, she would never let that go if I ever had so much of a tiny snot coming down from one of my nostrils—I was sure of that.
"You're back from your mission?" Eyeing her, I asked.
"Aye, wind magicians like us were mostly tasked to relay information to the field scouts because we can fly and yada-yada." She sat casually and tried to peek at Bria's letter, which I immediately hid behind my back, far from her prying gaze. Nafiri only smirked in return. "Or ya know—Sometimes we can be tasked to pick up some brats 'ere and there too."
"Huff..." Feeling my blood rush from her comments, I took a deep breath to compose myself. "So, to what do we owe the honor for an outstanding scout such as yourself to come to find us?"
"Ho...look how pretty yer tongue got in these two weeks," Nafiri replied bemusedly. "That aside, headmaster Skywing told me to fetch ya here. Seems like the high council had approved yer participation in the briefing. Lucky for ya, ain't it?"
"You mean your mission was..." Shocked, I bounced and stared at her, waiting eagerly for her to elaborate more.
"Not here, girl." Nafiri finally wiped away the last playful bits on her face and looked at me seriously. "Let's go to headmaster Skywing's office first. They're waiting for us."
The question of who they were and why they were waiting for us never even crossed my mind. All I knew and cared about was that I would finally have my answer at Hilda's office—So Filtiarn and I followed Nafiri obediently, with thousands of thoughts and assumptions coursed through my brain.
Before I knew it, I had found the familiar setting weeks prior unfolded before our eyes once again when we first arrived at Troph—with the three elders present. The only difference was the absence of Freddy Oswald, whom I couldn't be bothered to give two shits about.
"Let's begin." Hilda's calm voice echoed out in the room.
***
"...With that in mind, it is safe to say that the seed has been planted, and Vasilias will most likely initiate a war on the Creators in the near future." Nafiri's briefing cast a huge smoldering boulder on my chest when she finished. "Meanwhile, we still can't guarantee to what scale it will blow."
"What is the high council's take regarding this matter? and in your opinion—I'm asking this because you got the chance to observe for yourself...But is there any way we could prevent the war from breaking out?" Sir Morty's low tone shook the air.
"I was given a mission to be the emissary to the other sanctuaries, as per the high council's edict. Other than a warning and gathering possible manpower, our scouts are trying their very best in every possible way as we speak, Sir. Tempering with their granary, spurring irregular movements of beasts on the borders, fluctuating the economics and many more..." Nafiri's expression was lost, nearing openly showing how frustrated she was.
"If you ask me...in my and my comrades' opinions, the fastest way to prevent the upcoming war would be to assassinate a certain individual in the kingdom of Vasilias." Nafiri's eyes gleamed sharp and furtively glanced at me. "The General who was gifted a drawing of a Dragon upon his war banner by the king...Vasilias's Dragon—Serath Davis."
Nafiri's eyes landed on me, and mine on hers.
'A Dragon? Could it be—' Bone-chilling fear penetrated my head down my spine.
'...not...' Before I was swallowed by the breeding madness, Filtiarn's reminder calmly rang out inside me.
I turned at him, and when I saw his firm and staunch conviction, I sighed in relief. "It's not Macie." To the expectant gazes in the room, I answered shortly.
"That's a relief then." Hilda traced Nafiri's figure once again. "You say assassinating this person is the fastest way to prevent it. Is it because he can morph into a dragon? and what are the chances we have, Nafiri?"
"...I saw him once when I went to Vasilias. There, I saw how he rallied the druids to conscript for the upcoming war by sparking savage spirits that laid dormant in their hearts. How his wings seemed to cover even the sun itself when he turned. How his talons and tail tore about the earth like a sea of wet mud...How he brought every living being down to their knees when the Sacred Beast howled into the sky...I know we would seem like bumbling-fool that contradict herself by saying this, but that man...He cannot be assassinated—we needed at least an army to scrape the scales off, headmaster." Nafiri's fists quivered in fear, as if she was still there, replaying the day afresh.
'He's a pure-blood druid. And if he could turn into a dragon, then that means he already killed one...' An ominous conjecture was brewing inside me as I began to connect the dots.
"...When will the estimated time be?" Could not find any suitable response to retort Nafiri's dejected conclusion, madam Niera carried on with the question.
"Four years, maybe three at the earliest...and if we're doing all that we can to delay it and are successful in our endeavor..." Nafiri paused a bit before her words ended feebly in looming despair. "Six to seven years at most."
Ghastly silence permeated the room as if everyone there were just given death sentences. They were left each to their own thoughts as even the passing draft didn't dare to intrude and shooed away encumbering mood.
"...What does the high council have in mind concerning Miss Travis?" It was not until Hilda broke the silence that the discussion turned its attention to me.
"Until her further assistance is considered essential, going by the agreement that has been stated before, Barbara Travis is to resume her training in Troph. Only, and if only the need arises, should further discussion about her involvement in the upcoming war be mentioned." Quoted Nafiri.
"So that's how it will be..." Sir Morty looked at me. "Do you have any questions or qualms about this, Miss Travis?"
Realizing what he was getting at, I stood up in response. "No, Sir."
"Be on your way now, Barbara." A weak smile bloomed on Hilda's face as she tenderly caressed my hair. "Don't beat yourself too much about this; it is our job as an adult to do the heavy thinking. For now—your job is to train and study well, you get it?"
"...yes. Thank you, headmaster Skywing." I bade them farewell and led Filtiarn back to the bustling dorm.
I got the answer I had painstakingly waited for weeks, but rather than feeling certain, I found my mind was clouded even more so than before. Confusion, fear, anxiety, despair, and frustration gnawed on my heart bit by bit. I was so lost in my own thoughts that before I knew it, I was already back on top of my bed. Staring blankly into the ceilings, hoping to find the answers I was not able to see.
"Are you...okay?" Weak and feeble voices grazed the tips of my ears.
Unconsciously, I turned my head toward the source of where it came from. Just like how she has always been, with her nose buried deep in the book she was gripping, Lia asked, scurrying her face hidden behind the thick book.
I didn't say a word to her—No, I couldn't say it. Things got awfully quiet when I just stared at Lia in a voiceless contest. Her shoulders quivered when she took my silent gesture as an obvious answer she got yet again for the past two weeks.
It was at that time that I felt something strange had snapped and erupted from deep inside me. I knew then and said to myself, 'I cannot take this anymore!'
Restless movements in the bottom bed below, the sight of Lia, sobbing and wiping her tears quietly, and Rebecca's figure, who had closed her diary as she feigned her sleep like she often did whenever Lia started crying...everything added up, and I just couldn't take them anymore.
I knew, at the very least, I had to start with them. 'I can't do this no more. I need them.'
"Um...Anya...? Can you like...fetch Freya for me? I got something to say to you girls." I was mumbling softly, so I wasn't sure whether she caught what I said or not. But when the bunk creaked and I saw Anya's figure slowly making her way out to the door, I felt my heart shake from the prickling guilt. The smile I wholeheartedly gave then was nothing but filled with pain and sadness—yet I couldn't stop myself from smiling.
"About damn time...you idiot," Anya whispered gently before leaving the room.
***
When I first came to know that we would be a student in Troph, never in my wildest dream did I ever think I would share my own stories with other kids my age one day. Heck, I didn't even think they would welcome us.
I started telling them about Pa and Ma. How beautiful and simple Rockfelle was, Grandpa Levin and Grandma Robellia. How horrifyingly haunting it was when those people suddenly came and robbed Pa and Ma forever from me.
How I turned from a weird and naughty girl to a cursed witch—demon's spawn—overnight.
I told them when I met Lance and what happened to my arm. How precious and liberating those days in the woods were to me. How it brought salvation out of the living hell, I've been given a chance to taste.
I told them how important Lance and Macie were to me—they still and ever will be. Even if they left us, we would find and protect them. Nothing would ever change that promise, even to the extent of my budding fear that came along with what Nafiri had elaborated.
I babbled to them about the unanswered and uncertain questions from the future that left me hanging so agonizingly that the idea of pulling and ripping my hair was all the more plausible. And at the end, I admitted how I had been such a jerk for the past two weeks. Bare laid for them to see, I sincerely apologize without any flowery excuses and minced words.
I knew Lia was a given, but I was at a loss when Anya started crying, and Freya's eyes turned moist from tears; even Rebecca had this sour look I'd never seen before.
Cued by Lia, who hugged me, Anya then pulled both Rebecca and Freya along, and so it turned into our first group hug ever. Of course, I said in the back of my mind to Filtiarn that it should never be known to Macie in the future; because It's embarrassing, that's why...
"Are you really going, Barbara?" Asked Lia when they had calmed down a bit.
I pinched her reddened nose playfully and smiled. "Yes, I will. I can't leave those two idiots alone. But it won't be happening soon."
"What do you mean?" Freya shot.
"Hm...," I pondered for a moment and shrugged. "I don't know whether I can share this or not, but since nobody said anything about it...Well, no matter—They said it will not be for another four years or so at the earliest before the war breaks out. In the meantime, I would continue as a student here until the war began or if they needed me for something else."
"Why would they need you?" Anya tilted her neck to the side.
"Is it because of this Lance person and The Sacred One?" Rebecca joined in as she casually took a step back from the awkward distance after our hugs.
"I guess so too." In agreement with her guess, I nodded back. "Otherwise, why else would they agree to send a little girl like me out there. They might be trying to have a contact or some sort with Lance and Macie through me. But don't worry, guys, I won't be reckless with my own life...My Pa and Ma would be so sad otherwise."
"That better be the case...So, what are your plans from here on out?" Rebecca's clear-cut tone resounded gently. It felt strange because it was as if the suffocating feelings I'd been holding back for the past weeks were melting and dissipating by the seconds.
"Honestly, I don't know...It feels like I know I should be doing something, but then again that something still feels obscure to me..." Honest to Myrna, everything was still blurry and frightening, yet despite it all, I could finally say to them with a smile on my face. "But one thing I know, that I must be ready—no, Filtiarn and I must be ready, and we will do the best we can. We will wait for the future by doing our best right now, in the present..."
'Bara...' With his smooth and warm fur brushing shyly on my feet, Filtiarn said.
It was when I saw the strange twist on the girls' mugs did I wince back in regret.
*Clap-clap, "Waah...You're like...awesome and daring, Barbara! You're like a hero!" Lia earnestly worshipped and then eyed me sneakily whilst mumbling meekly at the end. "Just promise that you'll be careful..."
"Pfftt, a hero." Freya guffawed raucously at Lia's child-like expression, while Rebecca scoffed and smirked afterward—which was really rare, by the way.
"Aw...the little baby's all cool and grown-up." A barrage of teasing and poking came flying at me from the gravely annoying Anya.
"Cut it out!" I tried to stop them, but to no avail was it all. So, I changed the topic—No, I had to, would be more correct. "Freya! Did you get that artifact I asked you for?"
"Of course, I did." In the blink of an eye, the laughing Freya instantly turned into the business Freya. "Do I have to spell it for you once again of the integrity of The Store? You name it, We bring it."
'God, I wanna smack that smug out of her face so bad.' I cursed her inside. "Just...just give it to me, will you? Doesn't any of your customer ever tells you how annoying it was when you're like this?"
"Where do you want to use it, Barbara?" Lia's cheery tone filled the room, ignoring the snappy remark I gave to Freya. "How about the hidden library? You have to see for yourself; it's really, really cool!"
"Um...I want to use it in this room, actually...with—" It was so freaking embarrassing. And the way the bewitching silence sunk in between us all didn't do me a favor at all. "Well...all of us."
And so, it began all over again.
It was a day I would never ever forget. Other than the teasing and bone-chilling embarrassing moments, it was the day that brought me great comfort; and the day I reaffirmed my own resolve.
It felt like I'd been searching for something in the barren lands where not even the formless winds would visit. Macie once said that I should find my own answer. Well, to say that I've figured them all out would be nothing but bluffing, but I felt like...at the very least, I knew which way I should cast my gaze into.
'She will so tease the hell out of me if she could see this...' I chuckled softly when the idea of Macie's frisky tone flashed out in my mind.
'Well, no matter—wait for us...'