"I want to go search for this monster," I announced as I stalked into the room, my braid swinging behind me.
That certainly caused a disturbance. Atlas raised his head from where he was deep in conversation with Luke to stare at me intently, while Luke's head snapped towards me so fast he probably got whiplash.
"What?" they said in unison.
"I want to go look for the monster," I repeated. "I'd be of no use to you at the museum anyway. I might as well make myself useful and track it down."
"How would you even find it?" Atlas rumbled. "I haven't even told you what it is."
"I figured it out," I replied simply. Shock flashed across the titan's face, but before he could continue, I added, "And I can track it using aura detection."
"You can't go," Luke blurted as Atlas nodded thoughtfully.
"Why not?" I countered. "I don't need to be at the Smithsonian while you chase down the demigods. There are already enough soldiers with you. None of you know where the monster is anyways, so how would you get Thalia to sacrifice it if it's not even there?"
"She can call it," Luke retorted.
"Not if she doesn't even know what it is," I snapped back. "Please, General," I said, turning back to Atlas. "Let me go. I want to be of some use."
"Very well," Atlas said, shrugging. "You're right. We don't need you at the museum, and defence back here is tight enough. Do you need to bring any forces with you?"
"No, thank you," I replied. "I would be able to cover more distance by myself and avoid detection."
"Alright," Atlas said.
"But-" Luke started, only to be waved down by Atlas.
"Boy, let your lieutenant go. Don't worry about her."
There was an edge to his words, an underlying meaning that both of us caught, and Luke swallowed his protest and nodded. "Alright, be careful."
"I will," I replied, not looking at either of them as I bowed and left the room.
To no one's surprise, I heard footsteps behind me before I'd even cleared the ruins. "What?" I asked flatly as Luke skidded to a stop in front of me.
"Are you just trying to get away from me?" he asked, his blue eyes scanning my face intently.
I turned to stare at a craggy rock jutting up towards the grey sky. "And if I am?"
Silence. And then a huff as Luke sighed. "I wouldn't blame you if you were," he muttered. "This is my fault. I should have told you sooner."
"No," I snapped, whipping around to face him. "You shouldn't have agreed to it in the first place. You could have refused," I continued, glaring at him. "Heck, it's grumpy old Kronos we're talking about! It could have been any demigod. Anyone. But it just had to be you."
I didn't know where this sudden anger was coming from. All I knew was that there was still an aching hole inside me, and anything, even blazing heat, was better than numbness. And yeah, I knew I was being unreasonable, but I didn't care. Not when I looked at the boy standing in front of me, the boy I loved, and couldn't see anything but phantom golden eyes staring back at me, cold, ancient, unfeeling, and full of ancient malice.
"I'm going," I said flatly, turning away before Luke could reply. "I'm sorry, but I need some time to sort out . . . whatever this is."
"I didn't have a choice," Luke said. "You know that, right?"
I know, I thought silently but didn't voice my response.
"You promised," Luke added quietly, his hand reaching for me. And then pulled it back after a second thought. "You said you'd stay by my side, and now you're leaving."
"It's only going to be a few days," I bit out. "You won't even miss me while you're in Washington."
"Don't leave me alone with him," Luke pleaded, a tinge of desperation colouring his tone. "I can't, not now, I-"
"Luke, please," I cut off. "I need to do this. Please don't make it harder for me than it already is."
Luke opened his mouth as if to say something, but then closed it and nodded. "Alright, fine. Be careful."
"I will," I replied. "You too."
As the mist closed behind me, leaving Luke all alone in a shadowy world, I realized that perhaps it would have been better if I'd done this from the moment we'd met. If I'd just walked away. What would have happened then?
However, when I closed my eyes, I saw an image of him standing in the field of dusty grass in the shade of the ruins of Othrys and the anger that had filled me just moments before vanished, replaced by guilt and regret. What on Earth did I just do?
Why did I just walk away, now of all times, when Luke needed someone next to him? I clenched my teeth, fighting the urge to run back to him and just stay. Stay, as I'd promised.
Another broken promise, another lie that I left behind me like footsteps in the snow, following wherever I went.
I forced my feet to move again. I'd just do this. Find the Ophiotaurus, hide it away, and then come back and stay at his side until I couldn't anymore. Until Olympus called.
Just after this, I thought. Last time I leave. I'll be back, and quickly. Please just hang in there, I'm coming back.
But I couldn't get the image of his face as I'd turned away out of my head, the closed curtain in his eyes that hadn't been there before.
I took a deep breath, forcing it to the back of my mind, and scanned the brightly lit city of San Francisco beneath me as I emerged from the misty veil of Mount Tam.
I'm sure it was nothing, I thought. He'll be fine. We'll both be fine. Things will work out in the end. Just focus on finding the Ophiotaurus right now.
Sighing, I glanced around me and after confirming that no one was around, I pulled the shadows around me and vanished, only to reappear on the rocky beach of the bay. I walked down to the edge of the waves lapping gently against the shore, knelt, and placed my hand into it.
"Gods!" I yelped, leaping away and shaking my hand before stuffing it into my jacket. "Gods, that's cold."
"Well, duh, it's December," Luke said, amusement evident in his voice. "Jeez, Ri"
I whipped around, a rebuke already on my tongue, and then froze mid-turn. Wait, what? I thought. Luke shouldn't be here, no one had followed me, I-
I blinked. There was no one there behind me. Just me, alone, in the middle of the night, on the beach.
"Great. I'm getting hallucinations now," I muttered, and turned back around to the quiet albeit cold ocean and the soft moonlight dancing on the waves. It was a fantasy in itself that the rest of the world could look so beautiful and be so unaffected by the roiling turmoil in my life.
Soft footsteps that sounded like a large, four-legged animal sounded on the rocks behind me, and I smiled as Avalanche huffed, "When was the last time you slept?"
"Uhhh . . . Three days ago? Four? I can't remember. I'll sleep, I'll sleep," I quickly said, and gingerly poked my fingers out from my jacket. "Just after I do this."
Avalanche growled softly but I ignored my wolf and fought the urge to flinch away as the sharp cold penetrated my skin. Ignoring the fact that I was definitely going to get frostbite, I flattened my palm and made a pushing movement into the water, releasing a wave of black shadows that curled along the surface before racing away into the depths.
"Fuck," I hissed as I jerked my hand out and shoved it back inside my jacket. "Okay, let's go."
"I'll sleep on Blackfire," I added as Avalanche growled. "I'll take a nap while he flys me around. You," I whistled sharply before continuing, "are going to trail Luke to the museum. Don't let anyone, especially not him or Atlas, see you. You're just going to observe. Understand?"
Observe Luke, I thought silently, looking into Avalanche's amber eyes. She bobbed her head in understanding, brushed alongside my legs, and bounded into the forest.
I sighed, turning back to the ocean. "I hope I'm not making a grave mistake."
A blast of air announced my pegasus' arrival a few minutes later and I couldn't help the grin that spread on my face as Blackfire landed beside me. "The wild's been treating you too well, my friend. If you keep eating berries and fresh grass and gods know what else, what are you going to do once we get back to camp and they only give you hay?"
Blackfire snorted in indignance and tossed his mane. "Chiron can try. And when was the last time you slept? You look like shit."
"What?" I said, taken aback. "Blackfire, not everyone's been living a life of luxury, you know."
"Sure, bostress, but you-"
"Enough, or no apples," I said, though I smirked as I hopped on his back. Just then, a current of electricity raced up my spine and I grinned even wider. "And you'll get an apple after this. Take me to Long Island. We've found our monster."