Y/n POV
Tick
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Tick
Tick. I look at the clock and its 1:40 pm. Namjoon called his doctor and asked if he had any times today or this week at all. To his luck, he had an opening appointment at 1:45 pm today.
Great....
Tick
Tick
Tick
Tick
Tick
I about ready to punch that damn clock until the door opens up with Doctor
"Ahem, hello Namjoon and Ms.Y/n. My name is So Ji Sub but call me Doctor So, arasso?"
Doctor So had slightly tan skin than the average pale skin that I've seen other Koreans with. He has even shaped lips and a deep archer's bow on the top of his top lip shaped like a 'v'. I can tell that he can possibly be my dad if he had a child at 21.
"I see my nurse has already filled out your information. So tell me now, y/n what seems to be the issue today?"
I pull on the string at the hem of Namjoon's shirt. What do I say or what do I start with? Do I start with the years of being poor and not having anything? Or me giving up school to start helping more with my family? Should I talk about how my mother died because of my abusive step father because the only way to provide for us was to marry him? Maybe I should talk about the 2 years and 7 months of verbal, physical, sexual pain I received from my boyfriend. It hurt me but I deserved it. Maybe I shouldn't mention it at all. Last time I told my friend....and now she is gone now.
So instead of telling him all of this, I look at my hands and tell him only my physical pains.
He leaves the room to document what I told him. For the first time I looked at Namjoon and to my shock he had red, wet eyes. My gasp causes him to look up.
"Y/n, are you okay?" he asked me.
"I-I'm fine but your eyes..."
He looks in the mirror to check. "Ohh it's nothing, I just stayed up really late," he tells me laughing it off but I personally know too well that look.
"Namjoon...why are you crying?"
"I-I'm not...I..." After that he burst into tears. It had shocked me so much that I had flinched.
"Sorry it's just all that you've been through just physically. I can't imagine what must have happened to you to experience that kind of pain. And I admire you for being so strong."
Now it was my turn to cry.
"I'm not strong! I'm not!"
"But you are! You could've ended it by killing yourself or running away"
"....I'm scared"
He sighed and got up out of the chair next to the desk. He came right in front of me and looked me in the eyes with his own glossy eyes.It was like he was asking for permission to touch me so I nodded and he cupped my face into his hands.
I never felt something so gentle in my life. He held me as if I was going to either leave him or shatter in his hands. Im just melting in his big and warm hands. I can get lost in his touch right now.
Wait...
Touch.....I'm letting him touch me..!
THIS IS A WHOLE NEW LEVEL FOR ME! I CAN FEEL MY FACE BURNING HIS PALMS!
"Y/n your face is burning up, are you ok?"
"Uh-u-huh-YES! Yes I'm okay"
"Whew okay. Listen, admitting that you're scared is the first step of courage and I proud of you for doing that, okay? ......would you like to know what's more powerful than fear?"
I wait for his answer.
"Hope"
"Hope? How?"
"In fear there's always hope. Let's say you're in a cave and scared that it may collap658se. All of a sudden rocks start falling and pillars. What do you do?"
What would I do?
"Part of me says to stay and let it fall on top of me..."
"But? And?"
"But the other part of me wants to run. Live for myself and hope to see another day and maybe that day will be better than the others I have faced..."
"Hope, you hope in that moment of fear that you can live to see another day, Y/n"
"I-.."
KNOCK
KNOCK
Before I finished my sentence, the doctor came back in.
"Ok Ms. Y/n, I'd like to do a series of test. The main ones I'm going to ask for is a CT scan and I'll need a blood test as well. Is it okay if we can do this today?"
The doctor looks over at Namjoon and I but Namjoon looks at me instead of Doctor So. They patiently wait for my response. I take a deep breath before I respond.
"...I'll do the test"
"Great, now I'll need you to get dressed in this hospital gown and then I can conduct the test," Doctor So said with a wide smile.
His smile is way too big for me. And he said that he was going to conduct the test? I cant have that happen. I know I shouldn't judge and he's a doctor so I should expect his to be professional and to not fear him. However, that's all I can do is fear him. If you haven't picked it up by now, I'm freaking terrified of men and dislike them with a passion.
I'm already surprised by myself that I'm in a room of two men who have all the power to take advantage of me. I'm in a home with two men who can take advantage of me. I would leave if I wasn't so weak and had a place to go. I don't have anything to wear for a job interview so that's out of the question. And I don't have money to leave. So I really can not do anything at all.
I don't want to panic but I do. The closest I was to nakedness with anyone was Seo Yun and it wasn't willingly.
Right now, there's a new weight on me. It's the most painful because I can still breathe but it burns.
Like blow torches on my lunges to deflate them.
Rubbing the burns with salt and alcohol.
Trying to breath but lifting cars with only my chest.
If you can imagine jumping from a bridge and face planting in the water, it's such a painful feeling. And jumping from such heights, the water acts like a vacuum pulling you under even more. You can't see where you are going and you're panicking, taking breaths that shouldn't be taken and don't understand the dark surroundings.
That's how it is for me right now. All until I feel something on my shoulder, a hand? All of a sudden, It feels like that hand is pulling me from underneath and I start gasping for air.
But I'm still in the doctor's office. I'm on the floor with Namjoon cradling me? I take in sharp painful breaths, each time letting tears escape. I shoot my teary eyes up to Namjoon's calming eyes. He just whispers sweet nothings in my ear, rubbing circles on my back. Soon my heavy unsteady breathing matches up to Namjoon's slow and steady breathing.
I look up from his lap. It took me a second to realize that I was still in his lap, in the doctor's office, sitting in the middle of the floor while the doctor watched us from his chair, deciding not to intervene.
"OH! Namjoon I-I'm sorry! I didn't mean too! I just panicked and-"
Suddenly I was attacked by a hug.
"It's okay y/n. Ha, I cant count how many times I said that 'it's ok'. It really is though. I understand that this is a really difficult situation. Maybe I can help you with that. First thing first, do you know what the trigger of the panic attack is or are you unsure?"
I suddenly turn pink in the face. I realized how stupid of a reason it was for the cause of my sudden attack.
".......I didn't wanna have a male doctor..."
"Was that all?" Namjoon asked.
"I know its a stupid trigger but I can't help it! I can barely deal with you and Seokjin!"
"It's not a stupid trigger. It makes sense. Doctor So, can we have a female doctor for Y/n's test and for her to gerry dressed? I think she'll be more comfortable with a female doctor."
"Of course, I can send for Doctor Jessi, okay? Let's both head out and wait outside. Ms. Y/n I will bring Doctor Jessi in soon. She'll talk to you about your test in further detail."
And with that both of them walked outside of the room leaving me alone.
Namjoon POV
"I'm glad she didn't respond negatively to my touch. I tried to see if I could reach her before I had acted" I tell Doctor So.
"I'm glad you stepped in or else I would've had to call someone up to help me with her."
"I'm glad it didn't come to that"
"Yes, me too. Anyways, I wanted to ask. How did you meet her? Is she family or a friend?"
"Actually, I was on my way to my parents home and she was lying in the middle of the road while it was raining. She did not have any clothing for that type of weather so it made me wonder what made her end up there."
"So she's just a complete stranger? Namjoon, that's crazy. Have you made a police report yet? How long has she been with you?"
"She has been with me for about 4 or 5 days now? She had been asleep for maybe 2 to 3 days. I had my company doctor watch over her"
"Ashi! You darn kid. You should've brought her in as soon as you found her!"
"I would've if I wasn't an idol so I did the next best thing I could think of So Ji"
"You!"
"Ah, yo Doc So. Give him a break, yeah? The patient is in your office?"
A woman with tan skin, plump lips, and round tops and bottoms approached us. She had a somewhat deep and raspy voice with a gangster, baddie, and boss woman type of vibe to her. I would've been intimidated by her but I feel more respect and coolness from her as well.
Doctor So spoke up, "Yes, you just need to discuss her test with her. I will warn you she had a panic attack just a few minutes ago so try to calm down your boss woman ceo arua down?"
"Ahh dont worry, okay? She'll probably love me"
And then she left and went inside the room.
Doctor Jessi Ho
Doctor So Ji Sub
Our Namjoonie ☺️✨✨✨💜💜💜
Guys this is the most I've updated! I feel so proud lol. Idk but I feel like the story is going slowly but understand that I don't want it to be rushed either. I want it to be realistic you know? Anyways don't forget to share, comment, vote, and tell me I'm the best author-nim ever 😂
Just kidding jk jk
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