"A kiss is a secret which takes the lips for the ear."
I have learnt something today. Never discuss anything related to Academics with Arjun.
He is, as unkind as it sounds- absolutely cruel, nightmare version of strict tutor if he wants to be.
The events from morning replay in my mind.
I woke up with a big smile almost aching my lips at the prospect, I was going on a date with Arjun. Which was supposed to be two days ago.
Bhai so conveniently black mailed me to spend my time with him to make up for the lost ones. I didn't agree instantaneously, only when he promised to take me on long drives and he was going to cook my favorite recipes. Bhai was an exceptional cook no arguments there. So I reluctantly caved in.
Oh, not to forget he was planning, no scratch that scheming to finally meet with Arjun, officially. I was just putting my efforts to melt down the unasked tension between them. I know for the fact he'd not spare Arjun easily.
I thought I passed a great hurdle, the relief was short lived.
The second I stepped in class, with eye catching customized ring on my finger, it was talk of the day. I was mentally prepared to get unwanted attention but the theories that were circulating around were thoroughly unimaginative.
No one has guts to ask me directly as they preferred to gossip about the truth. Lastly with all the thrown concepts it was concluded on their own: I might be pregnant and was getting tied to some random grim man.
'How immature they could get.'
Ayesha was still spending time with her extended family, she'd return tonight. So the day was draining to say the least without her bubbly personality.
It was not half way through, professor Sharma announced to prepare a presentation with slides on the assigned topic. Mine was biochemical pathway of cholesterol. Of course how could he give me an easy understandable topic?
Still, my spirits survived until I blurted this said presentation and my stage fear to Arjun. Now, here we're sitting in the presentation room for PhD's not for graduates, to help me overcome my fear. Along with planning the outline for designing slides, it was one of the difficult debates I had.
I assumed until now Bhai was adamant when it comes to studies or anything related but Arjun, oh god, he is ruthless.
I mean it'd have been normal to greet your fiancé with a warm hug or may a kiss... on cheeks. Though it was only stuck to my fantasy. Nope, we updated about our days to crack up a conversation and it turned out to be big mistake on my part.
We still were going on a date though. If I completed my assigned work.
"Meera, you have eight more minutes before you step up on a dais to present a demo." He reminds, eyes concentrating in his laptop.
It slightly makes me cautious that he had no qualms doing his own work simultaneously inspecting my progress being totally unaffected by my presence.
Sure I was not a diva to grab center of attraction but I was his finance for god's sake.
And here I was effected with his presence. Tremendously.
The desk chair next to the dais was occupied by him, as he languidly sits. The late afternoon rays from window in the corner was giving a dull glow highlighting his side profile. The dark scruff on his chiseled jawline luring my fingers to discover about their roughness. Few trimmed strands of his hair bobbing on his forehead with constant moment of his head.
The teasing peaks of his skin from v cut of his brown tee shirt, the sleeves piled up his forearm muscles reflexing with dedicated typing by his calloused long fingers on laptop. The left hand fisted under his chin, knuckles brushing against his tantalizing lips. His strong legs ankled one upon other under the chair.
He is defiant, rebellious yet my heartbeat accelerates only to his presence. There is nothing I could or I want to do.
And he has the audacity to expect me to concentrate on some boring topic.
"Stop undressing me with your staring, Jaan. Trust me on this, you are not prepared for the consequences yet."
'Why does it feel his voice had notched down or the heat from outside seems to be effecting the temperature of this room.'
His eyes lift from the screen, I stifle the urge to squirm in my seat. Suddenly the cholesterol pathway seems to be interesting, so I revise the slides I have successfully prepared. The timer allotted for me pings, he taps it off in his laptop. I focus my senses to work on the project not on the devastatingly handsome man while walking up to the dais.
The next thirty minutes or so are spend where I stutter a lot delivering the topic and he patiently guides me to overcome my fear, giving tips to design the presentation in more interesting ways. I wouldn't say my anxiety was gone at least it was decreased also the motivation to make him proud did the manageable work.
Also we can proceed with our date, finally.
My eyes flew to him in anticipation as I explained the last part of my outline, "Not bad. Work on the points I remarked, we will have another mock round before the presentation date." He says nonchalantly, packing his stuff.
Typical tutor response. I reminded myself twentieth time, I won't dare to ask his help in my studies. I have inkling it was no longer my choice. Whatever.
I opened my mouth to thank him when there was shuffling of shoes heard outside. I didn't get to react before my hand was pulled along and my back was pushed to the wall beside the door. Arjun ignored my widened eyes, frowning on the door, his hand was covering my lips. He was completely unaware of our proximity but my senses were going haywire with every heavy breath.
Honestly even if principal had come down to check on us I wouldn't have reacted because my senses were consumed with the fact that Arjun was practically plastered against me. Again. He glanced at me, I was expecting he'd jump away in quick motion but he stood staring at me.
In slowest motion he retrieved his hand, my lips caressing his rough palms.
Everything inside me was going in haze noticing the way our heavy breaths were mingling each other, his jaw clenched. I involuntarily shivered when I dared to gaze in his eyes, the brown Iris was darkened with the depth of emotions directing at me.
"Meera," he whispered my name with such purity, my breathing was slinked in it.
"I so badly want to kiss these soft plump lips, my breath hitched in my throat. "First, gently to remark its feeling in every inch of my heart. Then harder just like the way you increase my heart beat, breathing should be the least of importance between us."
'Then do it.' The words were tip of my tongue.
"But not now..." saying this his entire warmth was removed.
I opened my eyes hating the sudden coldness and saw his back facing me. I saw his back heaving in deep breaths, turning around he wrapped his fingers on my wrist. If this was just a glimpse of the evening then I highly doubt whether to be excited or nervous about our date.
*****
"So you are going on date."
I get startled almost ruining my mascara that took me twenty minutes to get the wing right. From the mirror I glared at Bhai who was leaning on the door frame. His gaze didn't waver, I blushed as he eyed the small make up kit. He gave me that 'seriously' form of expression. It was true, I don't use makeup because hardly I could steady my hands while applying them.
Earlier Arjun texted me he was going to pick me up at six in the evening. I was grateful he even talked to mamma about it and Bhai was annoyed as he was not informed directly by Arjun. Maybe even he was aware Bhai would straight away deny him but their miscommunication further added to their rift.
I let out a sigh while packing everything in the makeup bag, it was more like a zip lock gifted by Kainath Aunty. I wearing the cherry red frock dress that was previously ruined by Leena. Bhai got it dry cleaned for me after scolding her when he learned the truth.
It's been almost four days still it leaves me in daze to actually believe I'm engaged. I'd glance hundred times or more at the huge signature ring on my left hand to start accepting the new reality.
A loud clearing of throat shook me out of my daydreaming, I hesitantly looked at Bhai as I was zoned out. It was one of the common occurrence at the dining table or in the mid of conversations. I need to work on this.
"You are happy." He says with a tight lipped smile.
My response was halted to the ring of phone, picking it up from the dressing table. It was from Arjun, he was here. Oh my, my heartbeat gone up to the usual high pace that was set default whenever his name would cross my mind.
"Let me go and greet my dear brother in law."
"Bhai..." I rush towards the door as he leaves already.
He waves off my any objection, "I only want to warn...I mean have few words with him."
Arjun was waiting outside, my steps falter taking in his look. Earlier I nervously requested him to wear white shirt as he asked me my opinion. Everything definitely suited him but I didn't get admire enough on our engagement day.
The crisp white shirt with blue washed jeans with his regular boots and the way he lifted his aviators made me swoon over. What a fine man I'm blessed with...
My Bhai blocks our staring, he stands in between smirking at Arjun's irritated expression. They made some sort of weird introductions, I was just observing with skepticism. The moment as depicted didn't last longer.
"No hanky punky with my sister," he points his index finger.
"Bhai," I squeaked in embarrassment.
Arjun cross his arms to his chest, both of them were of equal height. "Brother in law Dearest, you keep forgetting she is my fiancé. My responsibility. And for the record, I don't want to have this kind of talk with you at all."
"She was and will always be my responsibility, so better keep in mind you were just recent addition in her life." Bhai threw the jab.
I was internally groaning at their childishness.
"And from what I have gathered, you were absent all those times when she needed you the most." Arjun threw another strike.
Both of them hit the lowest blows at each other, this was getting out of hand. From the tight fists Bhai kept or the way Arjun's knuckles were turning pale from clutching his own, I knew they won't hesitate to turn this meaningless argument into physical fight.
"Maybe it is better to postpone the date." In spite of my own panic, I said the words loudly.
Again the reaction was outwardly.
Bhai was the first to break their vicious staring contest, "It is honestly a best idea, and we should postpone the date. For marriage." He said, giving me wide grin.
"'No to both of your suggestions." Arjun snaps.
A tense silence hangs in air both of them trying to cool it off. It was just the beginning phase of their relationship. Great.
"Yuvraj can I speak to you for few minutes. Please." Arjun added.
Bhai gave him a dubious look for the sudden shift in his attitude nevertheless nodded walking with him to the other side.
I pout biting the corner of my lip. They were talking about me and didn't want me to be part of it. A few minutes later Arjun walks to me, the usual confidence oozing from him. Bhai seems to be quite...flustered. Ah?
"Let's go," he says entwining our fingers.
I try to catch Bhai's gaze waving at him, he returns the gesture attempting to smile. It ends up as a grimace, glaring at Arjun.
"What did you talk with Bhai?" I ask strapping a smaller helmet over my head, he got for me.
"Just a dose of something that was bound to happen in future." He vaguely answer. Obviously I didn't understand anything.
He adjusts the black heavy piece on my head, I open my mouth to ask him he puts his finger on my lip.
"You could ask him later but now, his thumb floats on my parted lips. "I want your entire attention on me."
As the bike revived, I tightened my grip on his abdomen scooting myself closer afraid my hands would be unbashful and start exploring his hard muscles. My hands were pulled up bringing to his lips and pressing a chaste kiss to them.
He met my eyes in the side mirror, I hid my face in his back with a bashful smile.
The weather seemed to be moody today, it was bright in morning and now grey clouds were looming in the distant. I hope it won't rain or maybe it'd. I rubbed my nose on his black tee shirt noticing there don't seem any evident smell of his cologne. I was wearing a mild cherry version kainath aunty gifted me along with the makeup kit.
There is still masculine woody whiffs just not a strong version. His back start to shook, I frown seeing he was chuckling at me.
"Are you trying to tickle me?"
Before I could make an excuse he parked the bike to the side, I glance around realizing this was the same park he took me while ditching for visiting auditorium all those weeks back. Removing my helmet eagerly, I chuckled twirling a round, it is surreal to think how drastically has changed everything between us. From the easy smirk on his lips, I knew he was sharing the same thoughts with me.
"Let's take a walk, com'on" he extends his palm, I take it enthusiastically.
I was anxious about the destination for our first date because he'd not reveal and I didn't want to have cliché dinner in some restaurant or watch a movie. They were nice idea for maybe upcoming future but I needed to be somewhere I could communicate with him without stressing about the ambience or people.
His presence alone was enough to make me nervous, still I firmly decided to ask the whirlwind questions that made me stay awake for nights. The area was secluded though I know it felt safe because he was with me otherwise the silence with swooshing of trees would seem eerie.
"Let me know if you are hungry, this time I know exactly what to get for you." He says, glancing at me.
I nod trying to match his long strides, "Can I ask you something?"
"You mean many things, he muses. "You don't need permission before asking me anything."
I take few moments enlisting the questions in my mind, I didn't want to make him uncomfortable. This was first step to communicate with each other as a couple. If there was something I'd make sure in our relationship would be free exchange of communication. At least from my side. It was not going to be easy with my piled up insecurities or anxiety but I was going to make efforts. I need to start from some day.
I step up on the uplifted narrow cemented divider running along the path, balancing myself. He grips my hand as I start walking on it, shaking his head at my silly act. It was new but I like to feel comfortable around him, even going with my playful mood.
"The tattoo on your wrist, I peak at it. "Can you tell me what the letter M indicates, if it's okay with you."
Of course this question was eating me, what if it was one of his ex?
He pauses, turning towards me, my eyes fixed on his black boots as nerves were gawking in my stomach.
"You, my gaze fly to meet his. He palms my cheek, "you don't believe it, do you?"
"So it's not Mahira?" I ask anyway.
"Who?" his question abruptly draws a smile. Oddly satisfied he doesn't even know her name.
I shook my head muttering no one.
Both his hands cup my cheeks, my senses do their favorite thing. Shut down and get lost in his eyes, a tender look glimmering in them.
"I know there were many unexplained, misunderstood moments between us. I'm not expressive with my words, so most of the time they are mistaken." He gently pushed strand of hair behind my ear. I did half braid leaving the rest of them open.
His thumb playing with my jhumka,*"It was proved, my IQ was 160 but words lose the clarity to me when I look in your eyes, you don't have any idea what extend of havoc these beautiful eyes could create inside me."
I fisted my dupatta tightly as his thumb reached to graze the corner of my eyes each and every word was getting inked in my heart making it thump wildly. I could relieve his voice, this moment most precisely the way his eyes are speaking volumes with me, for me.
"I don't know how to deal with these emotions but I'd be damned to ignore them even for one more second. Even if I have to strive harder, I'd do it because I want you, Meera. In every possible way exist in this world."
Declaring in the most exotic way, my legs finally gave out. To stop myself from falling, I clutched his shirt in reflex he encircled his arm on my waist bringing me closer.
"Why me, Arjun?" I whisper revealing another question.
My heart beating with apprehension for his response. He could have any girl of his choice, more appealing and perfect for him. I was not doubting myself but I know he could definitely have best options out there.
Ten seconds pass in long silence, "I don't know Meera, his eyes troubled. "I'm only sure of one thing, he presses his forehead on mine, "If it's not you then I don't want anyone. Ever in my life."
The whip of coolness on my skin was useless to simmer the heat reflecting in my veins, in front of his gaze. A tiny drop on my nose break our trance soon followed by drizzling shower of rain.
The rain successfully was seeping through our clothes, none of us cared as Arjun kept dragging me along. My eyes were closed as giggles escaped feeling the droplets trickling my skin, trusting Arjun's guidance. It was only when rain stopped pebbling on my head did I open my eyes to notice we're sheltered in a den. It looked familiar, glancing around I remembered.
It was the same spot both of us walked inside similar to one of these weathers. I looked at Arjun in realization, he was already staring at me. We were both standing few feet apart, the drizzling rain on the entrance of the shade formed a sheer curtain. It should obviously be cold inside.
If anything the way he unblinkingly run his gaze on my frame, turned the area into a furnace.
"You'd catch cold again," I stutter as he starts taking strides towards me.
"If I did end up catching cold you have every right to be there for me. No one would dare to stop you." He says with his each step.
I tend to take a step back, his gaze flick to the movement. "Or I should probably get cold so you could personally take care of me. I can hold you, closer while we're wrapped under the blankets."
My feet halt, a leisure smirk tips on his lips liking my flustered state. In a blink, his arms wound around my waist switching our position, his back flattened on the stoned wall. I clutch his forearm tightly with a loud gasp as he pulls me further. I could feel the contours of his hard body as clothes were practically sticking to our bodies.
His warm breath on my temple made me tighten my hold on his arm, I was lost to decipher his eyes. The gold specks in them reminded me of embers in a hearth, its flame could provide warmth or would consume you. I didn't mind either.
He brushed a single strand splayed on my chin, caressing his thumb he lowered his head, leaving an inch from my lips.
"May I?" he whispers
I internally swooned to the fact, he never forgets to ask my consent even now when he has the right. It depicts respect, somehow this makes the moment even more intimate. The rush of tingles heighten the sparks all over my senses. It's for Arjun only.
"You don't have to ask- I couldn't get to complete my sentence, as succulent lips slant to mine.
'He is kissing me, oh.' I get disoriented completely. Where my hands should be? Or I should just remain like statue. I freaking out, now.
However Arjun seems to be unfazed, his fiery eyes fixed on mine. He gently pecks few times until my body relax. His eyes tend to close, urging me to let the moment take the lead. In spite my heart going frenzy, I shut my eyelids following his movement.
The sensation so delicate, like a cloud, a feathery touch was there but it was not enough.
His hands pull my waist, I tentatively glide my fingers from his forearm, to hard shoulder to nape of his neck. A tiny shiver is felt under my fingers, I weave my fingers to his luscious hair. He detaches his lips, I open my eyes worrying if I did something wrong.
My breath get logged in my throat, to see the smoldering look in his eyes. Inattentively, I tug his hair forgetting it was occupied. This elicits a growl from him, I gasp my toes trembling with unknown emotion. Not giving me a second to collect myself, his lips slam back on mine.
This was nowhere gentle like the previous one. He meddled our bodies, I couldn't know where I was ending or where he was starting. He tugged my hair back, getting more access I hiss slightly but it only increased his languid strokes of his tongue in my mouth.
A fervor heat like never before brisk in my veins, I let go myself completely at his passionate mercy. With every tug in his hair, his hold tightens on me with a muffled groan. The need to breath made me slow down, Arjun doesn't though.
A loud moan escapes my lips, he minimizes his sweet torture on my lips. I hide myself desperately in his chest, once he calms down. Our loud breathing is heard over the drizzling rain. I hope this rain finally cool down whatever heat we were consumed. Or it might only increase?
Few minutes pass by neither of us leaving the confines our embrace. I rub my nose on his chest, his chest vibrate with a breathy chuckle. I reluctantly lean back, getting lost in admiring his features.
On the right corner of his lips, I caught the sight of a mole hidden in his dark scruff. Trapped in trance I reach and tenderly kiss the mark. His hand in my hair keeps me in the position, he presses his forehead on mine. Amber eyes locked with my black orbs.
"Recently, I ask myself a question repeatedly: "Where were you all my life?" he asks, the eagerness evident in his eyes for the answer.
I smile easing off his nerves. Rubbing our nose together I whisper, "Waiting around for you, I guess."
Glossary:
Jhumka: Earing.