Step Twenty Three: Make time to be alone together. Boys can sometimes act different when they're alone with you. Ask him to partner with you for a project or even just talk to him between classes. This will give you time to see how he feels about you when no one else is around!
For the third time in less than a week, I wake up in Jason's bed.
Pants are on? Yes, pants are on. Good.
Thankfully, I'm able to get out without waking him up; Jason must have carried me here before falling asleep on his own. I shuffle to the kitchenette and pour myself a bowl of cereal.
Jason mentioned not having any, but I found a box in his pantry. It was squashed behind a few preserves, yes, but it was there nonetheless.
My crush—my roommate—joins me a few minutes later, his eyes puffy and red, his face swollen. He looks like a morning disaster, but he looks cute, at the same time. He may not be perfect, like I previously thought, but it's the little imperfections that highlight his better features. My heart does a little flip.
"Russell says we're hanging out with Blake and him later," Jason says in the groggiest, deepest voice. Well, not deepest. Nothing can beat the low notes of my morning voice. "So I hope you're free."
I laugh, putting my empty bowl into the sink and rinsing it out. "You guys are pretty much the only people I talk to; I wouldn't have any plans." And it's true, too. I can just ignore today's step, seeing as I already spend tons of time with Jason. It seems as though I'm ahead of the game with these steps, as if I'm completing them before I even know about them. I'm going to try not to dwell on those thoughts too much, though...
"Don't talk like that, Felix. If people were brave enough to approach you, they'd instantly like you. You could probably be a celebrity or something; that's how charming you are. And you dance. You're also a funny guy, Felix. What's there not to like?" Jason says, probably not realizing how affected I am by the sweet, touching words.
"Oh" is the only thing I manage to choke out before shoveling the cereal into my mouth as an excuse not to say more.
Eating cereal today is probably a good thing. Pancakes for breakfast every single day can't be doing wonders for me, considering how little I've moved in the last few days and how I need to learn a full dance routine and song to perform on Wednesday.
And today is Monday.
I'm screwed.
But it's okay; it's fun. Heh.
Getting ready for school is a blur; I totally don't stare at Jason's arms through the tight tee he decided to put on. "Sexy biceps" is what he called them. Not going to give my opinion on that... but I think it's obvious enough.
Wait. Give my opinion to whom? Oh, no matter. Jason's arms conflict me, because I want to both share them with the world and keep them to myself at the same time.
"Yo, man. You look very happy; did something happen yesterday?" Blake asks, leaning against my locker after Jason leaves with Russell.
I can only stare.
Blake.
Blake Turner, my best friend.
Oh, dear lord.
It must have happened while he was drunk, although I can't even begin to imagine how the bleaching process went. There's no other explanation for the vibrant shade of his hair, an electric, carrot-like orange tint. I actually quite like it. I would definitely frame a picture of it and hang it on my wall. Or simply tape the picture, like a poster. I don't mind; either way works.
The BTFC is probably already selling copies of his photos. And, once again, the thought makes me grimace with regret and guilt.
My fault. It's my fault that the fan club exists.
Story. For. Another. Time.
"Nothing happened," I lie, vividly remembering the way Jason's breath felt against my neck and the way he held me. "We're still just friends."
"'Still'?" my best friend echoes, a mischievous glint in his eye.
I scowl. "Shut up, Blake."
"Hi," Russell says, returning out of nowhere. He grabs Blake's hand and pulls him away, leaving Jason here with me.
Smooth, Russell. Leave Felix with Jason while you and Blake run away.
My brain, ugh. My face, ugh. One is already pink; the other turns a deep shade of that same color when I realize the stupidly awkward situation I'm in.
Jason and I don't even have our first class together, but Russell and I do. Why did Russell run away? I'm going to strangle him later.
~~~~~~~~~~
Felix Gray's Top Five People to Strangle:
1. Blake Turner
2. Blake Turner
2. Blake Turner
3. Blake Turner
4. Russell Chen
5. Chen Russell
~~~~~~~~~~
Not a word. Not a single word about how I put '2' twice, yet again. I don't want to hear it from myself. No. Stop. Go away, voices in my head. You don't exist! No one can hear my inner thoughts. Stop. Stop. Stop. Leave.
"So, uh, Blake with orange hair, huh?" I awkwardly force out, laughing, nervous, as I rub the back of my neck. "I like it."
Jason nods. "Orange hair looks nice on him. I think it'd be nice on you, too, though," he adds as an afterthought.
I blush harder. "Thanks..."
"I'm just picturing you with orange hair. And, hmm, how about a pink turtleneck?" We both look at the ground, somber at the mention of our dearly departed friend, the pink turtleneck. Changing the topic, he glances at his watch. "To class?"
I groan. "To class."
~~~~~~~~
The day flies by.
We catch those flies, using our tongues, in FROG.
Sorry, bad pun... now I'm done.
Ha. It's time to rhyme.
Did it again. Now you can categorize me with the wise men.
I won't stop until I get to top.
Looks like I'll never stop, then.
Wow, brain. Way to diss yourself.
"You must be thinking about something really deep," Russell comments, observing my detached expression. "Jason? Without a shirt on, perhaps?"
I slap his arm. "Shut up, Russ."
Russell only laughs and puts his earbuds back in, looking out the window of the bus we're on. We're on our way to Blake's parents' house to hang out, just the four of us. The love square of doom. Jason, Russell, Blake, and I make a pretty good friend group, though. I enjoy hanging out with the three of them.
Arriving at Blake's "crib," we take off our shoes and flop down on the couches. We need something to do, so we decide to take advantage of the Wide Web World. It doesn't really matter what order the three W's are in, since no matter how abbreviated, they result in 'WWW.'
"Truth or Dare?" Russell suggests, scrolling through a list of things to do on the Internet. "Never Have I Ever? Hide and Seek?"
I perk up at the last option. "Hide and Seek sounds fun."
"How about Duck, Duck, Goose?" Blake suggests, grinning evilly. We all give him deadpan stares. "Okay, Hide and Seek it is. Felix, you seek."
"Me? Okay." After giving them a heads-up, I shut my eyes and count 32.5 seconds, because I'm special like that. I open my eyes again to see no one, which is exactly what I expected to see. "Ready or not, here I come," I singsong, stealthily peeking around walls as I comb through the rooms of the familiar apartment.
It takes the entirety of five seconds to bring Russell out from behind a potted plant. I sit him down back on the couch to wait for me to find Blake and Jason.
Now, to actually find them.
I know this house like the back of Jason's hand; it should be a cinch to find them. And a cinch it is. I bring Blake and Jason back to Russell and the couch within just a few short minutes. We play for about ten minutes before getting bored. Blake switches the TV on, and we play video games instead. None of us are particularly good at them, but it's fun to fail with them.
"Hey, do any of you know where my phone is?" Russell asks, patting his pockets after a while.
Blake takes his own phone out to call Russell's. "Hey, Siri, call Russell The Sweet BRussell Sprout."
Siri calls "Russell The Sweet BRussell Sprout" (which is, by the way, simply the cutest nickname ever). Blake and Russell seem to be on better, more stable terms than before. And that's good.
Russell's phone is still hiding behind the potted plant, and it takes him a moment to get some dirt out of the phone case's border. I take my own phone out, like the good adolescent I am. Only to check the time, though. My phone is nearly dead; it's down to the final percent.
Jason reaches for his own phone before realizing that he, too, has lost his. "Blake, can you call mine, too?"
My world is about to end.
My world is about to end.
My world is about to end.
"Hey, Siri," Blake begins, smirking at me, "call Felix's Boyfriend."
My world ends.
Jason's eyes fly wide open, his face flushing crimson as he gives me a confused opportunity to explain.
"I..."
Blake slowly stands up, guiding Russell out of the room. Probably to go water someone's dog or some other random excuse. That jerk. If his Minecraft account weren't already gone, I would delete it. No matter: I can get to his new one.
"B-Boyfriend?" Jason echoes, his voice cracking. "You... you like me in this way?"
I can't force out the words. It's too sudden. Hours in front of the bathroom mirror haven't prepared me for this. I barely manage a nod, all my senses on high alert. I watch Jason's face, trying to gauge his reaction before it comes.
Jason's jaw simply drops.
"You, Felix Gray, one of the most amazing people I know, want me? Jason Crowe?"
I nod again.
"Me?"
He sounds incredulous, almost as if he doesn't believe that someone could have feelings for him. Surely this isn't the first time he's been confessed to; this is the Jason Crowe. Why does he seem so taken aback?
"Felix, I—"
"I get it, Jason," I hear myself say. "It's okay; I don't expect you to reciprocate my feelings." When did I get so eloquent? Jeez, brain. Way to finally cooperate when I need you. "Just... can we stay regular friends, regular roommates?"
Jason closes his mouth, only to open it once more as he tries to find words. "No... Felix, I... I like you, too. A lot. Like, a lot, a lot. And I want—"
He takes a shaky breath in and closes his eyes for a moment, regaining his nerve. I only lean forward slightly in anticipation.
Can it be?
"And I want you to be my boyfriend."
My heart soars; everything around me seems to grow brighter. Jason has feelings for me? Jason... asked me to be his boyfriend? We haven't even gone on dates—well, I guess we technically have—but still. What?
I pinch myself. I have to be dreaming.
Jason? Me? Felix? Crowe? Gray? What?
Laughter bubbles out of me, spilling from my lips with pure elation. Jason's expression lifts, realizing what my laughter means.
"And I, you, Jason."
Tears of evident relief shine in his eyes; I'm sure they're mirrored in my own. Jason—sweet, sweet Jason—reaches out to hold my hands. I oblige, shifting to get closer to him.
Jason kisses my left cheek, letting the feeling linger. My eyes flutter shut as the brain system in my skull overloads.
I don't know how long we sit there, relishing the feel of being... together.
Together.
I am in a romantic relationship with Jason Crowe; life has reached its finest.