How To Get a Boyfriend 101

By Jinnieeeeefood

68.7K 3.6K 2.1K

Felix, a gay high school student, is trying to win his crush's heart by following the steps of a self- help b... More

1 : Sunday
2 : Monday
3 : Tuesday
4 : Wednesday
5 : Thursday
6 : Friday
7 : Saturday
8 : Sunday
9 : Monday
10 : Tuesday
11 : Wednesday
12 : Thursday
13 : Friday
14 : Saturday
15 : Sunday
16 : Monday
17 : Tuesday
18 : Wednesday
20 : Friday
21 : Saturday
22 : Sunday
23 : Monday
24 : Tuesday
25 : Wednesday
26 : Thursday
Epilogue : Sunday
Author's Note :)
Bonus : Monday

19 : Thursday

1.6K 99 26
By Jinnieeeeefood

Step Nineteen: Avoid "'yes' or 'no'" questions. These lead to short and awkward interactions, and you won't get to be with him as much!

Waking up in Jason's bed is a dream come true.

No, let me try again.

When I wake up in Jason's bed, I count my blessings and ask myself what city I saved in a past life to be able to be here.

Ew.

In the morning, the most intoxicating smell greets me.

Ah, there we go.

Pancakes.

I'm a sucker for pancakes. Like, who isn't? They're amazing; the mere thought of them makes my mouth water. I smell banana pancakes and blueberry pancakes. And... is that coffee? Oh, boy. Jason has moved on from toying with my heart and is now toying with my stomach.

No, ew. That just sounds worse.

I think the smell of pancakes is messing with my last semblance of normalcy. That, of course, being my naturally dirty-blond hair. At least the hair is a natural color. That's the only normal thing about me. I think. Maybe. Perhaps not.

I stumble in the general direction of the pancakes. I see Jason standing in front of his stove, wearing a cute little apron. Jeez. Did I just make an "aww" noise out loud? I'm going insane.

Jason is startled by the noise and turns around. His eyes immediately grow larger than the steaming hot pancakes on a plate next to him.

~~~~~

The five hottest items on Earth, as ranked by Felix Gray, a.k.a. ThatOneGuyFromYourLocalFrenchClass.

          1) Jason Crowe. Wasn't it obvious?

          2) Pancakes. Specifically, pancakes made by Jason Crowe.

          2) Russell Chen with blue hair. Or any hair. Or—dare I say it—no hair.

          3) The Sun. Wait, no... the Sun isn't on Earth.

          3, revised) John Cena. I'm sorry; I had to.

          4) Seat belt buckles during the summer. Those things are the Devil Incarnate, I swear.

          5) Cute little aprons, especially ones worn by Jason Crowe on Thursday, February Sixth.

~~~~~

Okay, so maybe that was six. Whatever. I can't possibly be the only person who has made the mistake of writing a number in a list twice.

"—can sit down and wait," Jason is saying. He waves his spatula (or whatever it's called) in the direction of the living room. "I'll be there in a second."

I nod and almost turn away before I see it. A single drop if pancake batter, about to fly off the spatula-thing.

I run forward. "No!" I shout, as the droplet leaves the spatula-thing. Jason flinches, surprised by my sudden movement. I catch the drop with my forearm, but both Jason and I go crashing into each other and the ground.

The first thing he says to me is, "Man, living with you would be very entertaining."

"Um, thanks," I blush. He smiles and stands up, extending a hand to me. "Sorry about that." He helps me up, not letting go of my hand.

"Nah, it's good. My floor is still clean, thanks to your sacrifice." We laugh awkwardly. "No, but what I said earlier... I meant it. So, like, if you ever want some company, feel free to ask me. Russell spends most of his time at his family's house anyway, so I can get pretty lonely here. There's an extra bed, like, ninety percent of the time."

What?

"Did you just invite me to live with you?" Dumbfounded doesn't even begin to describe how I feel. "Jason, I—"

He lets go of my hand and puts his own hands in his apron pockets. Is he shy? This is adorable. "No, no. I just mean that—ugh, never mind. This isn't playing out how I thought it would. Just, please, go."

Go? I don't want to leave, though. "Jason," I venture, "do you ever just feel like you want to say something, but don't know how to phrase it?"

"That's how I feel right now," he laughs.

Mustering up my confidence, I put my hand on his shoulder and smile encouragingly. "I'll wait for the pancakes and a new version of what you were trying to say earlier."

Jason's head lowers slightly, and he looks at me gratefully. "Thanks, Felix. I'll give you a few extra chocolate chips for this."

I wave good-bye before going elsewhere. I smile softly, remembering my first real flirting with Jason, that one time we watched a movie together. And Blake and Russell made out. Ah, teenagers.

Even if I never get to date Jason, I'm going to be grateful for that one day my feet forced me to befriend him.

Ew, that was sentimental. That's Blake's style, not mine.

I twiddle my thumbs for a very awkward ten minutes before Jason comes in with the pancake plate in one hand. "School starts in half an hour, so let's make this quick," he says. Jason gives me a pancake with extra chocolate chips, just like he promised. I put a bit of maple syrup on it (because who eats their pancakes dry?) and take a bite.

"Mmngh." An inhuman noise of satisfaction escapes me, making Jason smile softly as he watches a very happy customer. "Jason, these are heavenly."

They really are. I'm not saying that for his benefit. "One more reason to be my roommate, no?"

Thank goodness I've already swallowed. I would've choked. "U-Uh..."

"Okay," he laughs, taking a pancake for himself. Between bites, he says, "Russell doesn't tend to actually live in this dorm room. Not sure why his parents spent so much money by paying for him to have a dorm room here, especially when they literally live a twenty-minute walk away. Anyway, I don't think it would really change much for him if you two swapped rooms. Also, it would lower your chances of being hit by a vase, since Blake is across the hall from you. Maybe the long walk from his room to here would help him cool off."

I blink. Why is that somehow a convincing argument? "You're suggesting that I swap with Russell?"

"Yeah. You can move your stuff in here, and Russell could keep your dorm room as a walk-in closet or something."

"Move in? With y-you?"

Jason nods, biting his lower lip and looking away. This is a lot for me to take in. I like Jason—but can I really bring myself to live with him? This is so sudden. My life has changed so much in just over two weeks; it's been one heck of a roller coaster.

The pancakes are forgotten, getting cold. That's okay. I'm not hungry anymore. "It's sudden, and definitely more complicated than I made it sound. You don't have to answer now. Give it as much time as you need. And don't, like, feel pressured to say yes."

I purse my lips, allowing myself a little smile. "When does school start, Jason?"

"W-What?" His face flushes, and he seems to shrink. "Oh, uh, in fifteen minutes. Fifteen minutes! Dearie me, let's go. I washed your turtleneck, so you can wear that."

I help him clean the dishes for a few minutes, then we head to school. My insides are literally vibrating with a mix of random emotions. Most prominently, excitement. While cleaning the dishes twice as fast as I normally would thanks to the help of Jason, I make up my mind.

I'm very lucky to have friends in the Dorm Registry department.

~~~~~~~~

I've changed my mind.

Seven hours of school is enough time for me to figure out a plan in my head. I explain it to Jason when we meet up at the dorm building's entrance after last period. The idea is that we'll do a secret sort of trial, to see how we both feel about my move. I'll spend the nights in his and Russell's room, but only move a few clothes items over. I'll make sure to bring plenty of socks. Should Russell come, we'll just redirect him to my individual dorm room; he won't mind.

I talk with Amanda, who's the head of Dorm Registry—of course there are adults involved, but she represents them—to ask if what Jason and I want to try is actually allowed. She lets me know that there isn't an explicit rule against the trial, and regulating dorm swapping isn't something that the school prioritizes. We don't have to mention it to any authorities.

I pack up a discreet brown paper bag with the few necessities. Various personal hygiene things, some clothes, socks, and a few books. In my backpack are all my school supplies, so those are ready to go.

I bring the bag into Jason's room and set it down at the edge of Russell's old bed... my new trial bed. The paper makes an obnoxious crinkling noise. The second thoughts are starting to creep in, followed by the third thoughts, fourth thoughts, and the fifth thoughts bring it all together with a flourish. What if this isn't good? What if I find out that he's horrible to live with? Why did I agree? Am I stupid? Oh, no. What if I'm horrible to live with? What happens with my crush on Jason?

I didn't think this through, holy guacamole.

"Felix, it's okay to back out," Jason says.

"No, no, I'll be fine," I mumble. "You're right. I can go back if this doesn't work. No offense."

Jason pats me on the back. "None taken. Who knows, right? Maybe I'll be horrible to live with."

"That's exactly what I was thinking!" I blurt.

He stares at me, then shakes his head and chuckles. "Maybe you'll be horrible to live with, too," he says. "Maybe I'll force you out of here. Chase you away with a vase in my hand."

"Man, if you do that, I will scream at the top of my lungs." I turn the brown bag over and a few objects scatter onto the floor. Jason goes to do some homework as I organize myself. We have a small bathroom in each dorm, but all of the showers are located at the end of the hall. There's always a race to be first, because the hot water runs out faster than I would if Jason chased me with a vase. I put my toiletries next to our bathroom sink and go back to organizing. My clothes I leave in a pile at the foot of the bed, right next to my backpack. I take my laptop charger and hunt for an outlet, plugging it in so I can charge my laptop as I sleep.

After that, I work on homework assignments in silence. It's nice to have some company, even if we don't speak. Hours later, after eating a highly nutritious dinner of instant noodles, Jason and I wish each other good-night. The bed smells like commercial detergent, which is weird, because Russell doesn't smell like commercial detergent. I dimly wonder when the last time he actually came here was, then fall asleep soon after.

As long as Blake doesn't try to find me in my room in the middle of the night, this trial should work pretty well. Jason and I gave ourselves one week to figure it out. That should be more than enough. 

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