Aasha's Pov
"Dev you can answer for that question again as Aasha didn't hear what you said in the phone call because of the signal problem" Mr. Mehra said to Mr. Malhotra. My eyes went wide hearing his words.
Why can't this man let me live in peace? Then i got up from my place abruptly.
"I am feeling sleepy. Neha, i am going to the bedroom. Good night everyone" saying this i literally ran to the bedroom. I laid down on the bed with all the things that happened today running in my mind.
First i have to talk to Varun. I have to find out is he really changed or not. Because its Neha's life matter. What if he again hurt her?
And second, How am i going to face Mr. Malhotra tomorrow in the office? Ahhh… I hid my face with the pillow. I'm very sure they didn't buy my lie. What am i going to do now? Then i heard the click sound of opening the door. Neha entered with a glass of milk in her hand. I got up from the bed with a frown.
"Dev bhai asked me to give you this warm milk as he didn't want you to go to sleep with an empty stomach" she said with a smile. I felt warm inside my heart hearing her words.
"Did they two left?" i asked her while I sipping the warm milk.
"Yes! They both left" she said. I nodded at her and placed the empty glass on the bedside table.
"I knew you heard Dev bhai's all words" she said sitting beside me. I turned my face away.
"Neha, go and get a hot shower. And go to sleep. You must be tired because of today's incidents. And are you going to office tomorrow?" i asked her to divert the topic. She sighed at me.
"I applied for one week leave. So i can… stay with Varun in the hospital" she said hesitantly. I nodded at her and laid down on the bed.
"Aasha, you didn't answered my question" she said looking at me intently.
"I am tired and feeling sleepy, Neha. Let me sleep" i said, pulling the comforter till my face. Then i heard her sigh and she left to take a shower. Few minutes later she laid down on the bed beside me. I tossed and turned on the bed. I turned to look at Neha. She was sleeping very tiredly. She must be exhausted because of what happened today.
Thank god! Nothing had happened to her. I should say thanks to Varun for saving Neha's life. I tried to sleep but sleep was far away from me. I didn't want to disturb Neha by tossing and turning on the bed. So i got up from the bed and went to the balcony. Its not raining anymore. But the chill wind caused me to erupt goosebumps all over my body. I shuddered when the cool breeze hit me. I hugged myself with my arms. I closed my eyes and inhaled the cool breeze. When i closed my eyes, all the moments that i spent with Mr. Malhotra flashed in my mind.
The way he held my hands in the park, the way he made me smile everytime, the way he took care of me when i fell sick, the way he scold me like i am a little girl, the way he fed me food, the way he teased me, the way he showed his concern for me in the hotel, and the words he said to me in the rain, his every act made me feel so special. Tears slid down from my eyes when i opened them.
He always looks at me with some different emotions in his eyes which always gave me warmth. His eyes always held care, adoration and also some unknown feelings. I always wondered what that unknown emotion is.
I am such a stupid that i failed to understand that the unkown emotion which his eyes held is called 'Love'. 'Love' for me. How can i when i never got that 'love' in my life. I was always yearning for that love and care in my life. At one point i realized that i am not blessed with 'Love' and also stopped expecting that 'love and care' from others.
Whenever i read romantic novels, i always wondered how it would be felt like to be loved, cared and protected by someone. Now i understood that no romantic novels can teach us what is Love no matter how many romantic novels you read. You can only feel that love when your man shower you with his love.
Whenever i was with Mr. Malhotra, i felt secured, I felt like i am in my home, I felt a sense of warm feeling. I never felt disgusted with his touches. Instead it made feel comfortable, shy and nervous at which i never felt before.
"Trust me Aasha. I won't let you fall. Even if you fall, i will catch you before your body could touch the ground. So stop panicking about falling on the ground. You have me now, Aasha"
"Don't be a mature girl anymore. If you get hurt, just come to me. I will treat your wounds. Don't do it by yourself anymore. Don't go to the park alone anymore. Just tell me. I will bring you there. Don't cry alone anymore. You can cry on my shoulder. I won't ask any questions like why you're crying and what happened"
His words kept ringing in my ears. That day his those words made me feel that i am not alone in this world anymore. I also have someone for me like others in this world. I felt elated hearing his all words that day. I felt warmness in my heart for the first time.
I asked him a lot of times like why he is doing this to me and why he is saying this all to me. Now i got my answer now. Because he loves me. Those words are not just a mere words. But his promise to me. By saying those words he indirectly implied to me that he will be with me all the times and he will not leave me alone. He took care of me like i am a little girl when i fell sick. He left his all meetings for me and spent the whole day taking care of me, Cooking food for me, feeding me, scolding me, massaging my head. No one took care of me like he did. I felt like he is spoiling me by his care.
After meeting him, he is the only thing that i always had in my mind. I started to think about him more. More that my mind is filled with his thoughts only.
Every day when i woke up from my sleep, the first thing that comes to my mind is 'he'. Excited to meet him in the office. Excited to know what he will do today. Just a mere thought of him brings smile on my face.
I always questioned myself why i am behaving like this? Why i am thinking about him constantly? Why my mind is filled with his thoughts? Why i am letting him to touch me? Why my heart beats faster and my breathing becomes uneven when he is close to me? Why i am blushing in front of him? Why i gets nervous with his closeness? Why i am not pushing him away from me when he comes close to me? Why? Why? Why?
Whenever i asked this all why's to myself, my heart beats faster that i never knew that my heart can. Yes this same heart of mine beats faster whenever i think about him, just how now it is pounding inside my chest. With my closed eyes, i placed my hand on my chest to feel my thumping heart beat.
He gave all new feelings to me which i never felt before. He made me feel secure in his arms. He made feel special with his sweet gestures. He made me smile. He made me blush with his words. He made me nervous and shy with his close proximity.
Before i met him, i always question god that why he forget to write love in my fate. But after meeting him, i forgot to ask this question to god. That too now only i realised that i am not questioning god in these days. Why?
'Because you love him' a voice in my inside said.
I opened my eyes with a realization. More tears slipped from my eyes, making my eyes blurry.
I love him? When did this happened? I fell in love with him without my knowledge? How can this be possible? I closed my mouth to muffle my sobs.
My heart again started to beat faster. I placed my hands on my chest. How i forget this? Our mind only thinks what our heart wants it to.
I was thinking about Mr. Malhotra because my heart wants to think about him. Whenever i think about him, my hear beats faster. Because it was trying to say that i fell in love with Mr. Malhotra. I smiled at my own realization. I fell in love without realizing it. What a fool i am? I started to love him without knowing the name of that unkown feeling. The unkown feeling which i was struggling to find its name is 'Love'. I smiled recalling how stressed i was in these days thinking about the unkown feelings that i felt for Mr. Malhotra. I sighed.
Its really hard to not fall in love with the person who gives you everything that you was longing for in your life. Mr. Malhotra didn't gave me any materialistic things such as Jewels or other expensive things. I would have declared him as a flirt, if he would have gave me such things. But he didn't. Instead he gave me what i considered expensive in my life. The feeling of warmth, love and care. For me its the priceless things. He gave this all which i was yearning for in my life. Thats why its hard to not fall for him.
I am in love with you Mr. Malhotra. I love you. Happy tears flowing in my eyes. I wiped my tears with a bright smile.
Yes, Mr. Malhotra. I feel the same way how you feel for me. I am comfortable with you. I trust you with my everything. I fell in love with you. You suceed in conquering my heart. You won my heart Mr. Malhotra. I Love You Mr. Dev Malhotra. Even though i don't know why you said that you first saw me in a park, but still I Love you. I am smiling like a fool. What happened to me? Why this smile is not leaving from my face? I tried to stop my this stupid smile of mine. But this smile is not leaving from my face.
Do i deserve him and his love? a question erupted in my mind suddenly.
"If you step into someone's life, you will ruin the person's life and his family. You're a ruiner, destroyer. You're nothing but a bad omen. Whoever loves you, only embraced by death. If you want to save the person you love, then stay away as far as you can. This is the only way you can see the people you love, alive in this world"
Those words started to echo in my ears. I closed my ears not able to hear that words. I sat on the floor hugging my knees close to my chest.
I don't deserve his love. I don't deserve him. I don't have the right to fall for him. He deserves someone better than me. I am not a suitable girl for him. A girl like me don't deserve love. I will ruin his life, if i stay with him. After all i am a bad omen. I can't bring happiness in his life but only darkness. I have to stay away from him for the sake of his happiness. A sob escaped from my mouth.
Sorry Dev. I can't be with you. You deserve someone else who brings light in your life not darkness. I can't be selfish even though my heart is begging me to be selfish for once.
A few minutes before i thought falling in love is a happy feeling. But now, i realized its also painful. I don't regret of falling in love with you, Dev.
I am happy and sad at the same time. I am happy because i fallen in love with you, i am in love with you. Sad because i can't be with you.
We both love each other, but still we can't be together. Is this fate play? May be yes. No one can win against our fate.
I realized that i am in love with Dev a few minutes before. I was smiling like an idiot. But now my smile was replaced with my muffled sobbs. My love withered before it could bloom into a beautiful flower.
I hate you. I hate you Mr. Malhotra, for capturing my heart without my knowledge. You entered into my heart without letting me know. Now see, i can't even throw you out of my heart. You made me fall in love with you by using your sweet gestured. Now my own heart started to beat for you. What should i do now? Tell me, how can i stay away from you when you have already became my soul. I cried. Cried till there is no tears left to shed anymore. I stood up from the floor like a lifeless body. I went inside the bedroom and laid down beside Neha on the bed.
I will stay away from you Mr. Malhotra. With this last thought, i drifted into sleep.
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Hope you all like this chapter.....