♜
i frowned, my eyebrows pulling together as i continued pressing the frozen metal into my neck. i had sat on the floor of my room for the past few minutes, twisting and turning it on every coloured spot of my skin.
an older trick for lovemarks: running a whisk, preferably cold, over the bruised skin. this would results in an area covering all marks and more, becoming red and sore, but disappearing within a few minutes.
"that looks painful," belle pointed out, cringing at the site.
"just uncomfortable," i shrugged. it truly was not unbearable on any point, however, i would not mind being reminded of my mistakes during the time it took to work. just a few minutes really, five at the most, but minutes fell close to hours in feel, when it concerned this.
with every twist and turn i made with the whisk, my mind took me back to last night's events. how it had felt, how i wanted more, just like he had said he did, too. but my desires no longer fell underneath the same category as my needs.
i needed to ensure my future, and i had become unsure as to whether running away as fast as my legs would carry would provide that anymore. at least, not for one more night.
this specific evening hosted the time and place for the annual enlistment of the new troops. it would be my first, perhaps last, duty as a queen of the kingdom.
"will it not cause suspicion that you are in my chambers?" i asked.
"traditions follow that the bodyguards of royalty actually share the room, which would have been the case for us if mercer had not stepped in." belle replied, casually.
his words caught my attention instantly, as they tasted weird to me. "he did not allow it?"
"no." he said. "took the final ruling, even."
the final ruling was single handily a privilege of a king. if the ruler saw a rule or decision as being unfair, he could call the final ruling and therefore decide it all by himself.
however, if this was used one too many times, a king could be seen as weaker, as it was expected of him to be a tool used against many, not just his council.
"why would he use it on such a trivial matter?" i questioned, speaking mostly to myself.
"it's a classic, grey." belle smirked. "love makes a person selfish, foolish even. he wants all of you, completely and utterly to himself."
foolish. that word seemed to repeat itself at this point.
how could an entire mountain of citizens whom are designed to end their lives with one specific person not believe in love? love should be considered as the completion of an individual. finding that person that makes you twist and turn on the inside from the love you feel, instead of twisting and turning a whisk from embarrassment.
shouldn't it? or was i just completely and utterly wrong?
"it's gone," belle suddenly announced, easily shocked. he watched as i stretched my neck, making sure i had removed them all. i had.
i met his eyes in the mirror, watching him lean all of his weight onto the doorframe he stood up against, as i offered him a smile. it was only the slighest bit cocky.
with simply being a spectator to the enrolment, it took me by surprise just how much planning had gone into each step i would take during the evening. i knew that this ceremony was the first celebrations which always took place just before the welcoming ball, but i had never expected it to be seen as such a big deal.
belle would be by my side at all times, his eyes constantly focusing on elsewhere as he received informations through the mind-link.
the troops had been aligned in numerous rows out on the fields, all matching in their dark uniforms. the spaces around had been filled by almost every staff member of the castle as well as the generals and guards from previous years, some still serving, some not. we would all be witnesses to the event, making it engraved into history.
to spare time they had been divided into groups, each standing with their leader, and they would be enrolled as a whole. it would only take up to a few hours before all groups had been passed through, and everyone would return to their spots.
a smaller tent had been set up on a platform which secured it a place higher up, so both the king and queen would be able to see it all as it unfolded.
belle had been instructed to lead me through the crowds to the tent, but avoid as many people as possible. guards were spread out all over the fields told to interfere if anything were to happen, especially to north and i.
i tugged a bit harder on the sleeve of my bodyguard as we approached the tent. north was already seated in his throne. i had found a thicker turtleneck in the back of my closet earlier, which i had pulled all the way up to my chin, making sure to cover the evidence of last night. i was truly paranoid that i had missed a mark. if anyone saw... it would feel too real to comprehend. nothing had happened. he had said things he would repeat, nothing more.
it had also become colder as we had entered october, so the sweater wouldn't keep me warm just by itself, giving the perfect excuse to layer on even more.
"i'll come escort you back when it ends, my lady." belle said, forcing his voice deeper without offering me a single glance, before bowing shortly and leaving. north was watching, and harvey was showing him exactly what he wanted to see.
"thank you, albelle." i nodded shortly.
i found my seat next to north, the wood hard and cold to sit on. i adjusted uncomfortably in my seat.
we were both visible to every eye that wished to fall upon us. for the last few months i had always felt watched, but just by a single pair of eyes, and perhaps, i had been. it could have been guards north had around the castle. it could have been runners in the forrests, noticing my mark, and knowing the importance it held.
somehow, i had just simply assumed that it had been somewhat evil, whatever had kept watch. but like with almost every aspect of my life so far, it would never come down to such simplicity:
evil and good. angel and devil. king and queen.
those boxes i continuously put everything i knew in, did not always have the right fit. some were too small, some were too big.
and mercer's box was too small.
"are you cold?" he asked, after a moment of silence. he continued staring straight ahead, out into the crowds, as if not noticing that i was present. the last of the guards were being placed in their groups, so it would start soon enough.
i shook my head, knowing that if i spoke up, a cough would follow along with the lie. it was colder than i had expected. i had sole been focused on keeping covered rather than keeping warm, which showed its consequences currently.
don't lie to me.
his voice boomed in my mind, making me flex my muscles for the short moment.
suddenly, without much of a warning, i felt his hand reach out to my side. at first, i thought he was aiming for my lap, but his hand stopped as soon as it touched my own. he entwined his fingers with mine, letting our hands rest on my thigh together.
i resisted the urge to look at him, knowing his face would not provide me with any reasoning to his actions. what was he trying to do?
i took in a deep breath before leaning back against the cooled harsh surface that made out the back of my seat.
"do we need them to believe in our romance?" i asked. if we followed tradition the bonding ceremony would only be a year away. the day of marriage.
"no," he replied, calmly. i felt a squeeze from his hand, as he adjusted his position. "no one is watching,"
"everyone is watching," i frowned, glancing in his direction. we were quite literally raised above ground for the sole purpose of being visible.
"isn't it wonderfully uncomfortable?" he smirked slightly. "being watched, either admired or judged?"
"it is," i agree.
i pressed my back up against the cold wood, and exhaled deeply. this would be a long day if i kept freezing. but then, i felt it. the warmth streaming from his fingertips into my own. the feeling was different, but wonderful. it almost felt as it the sun was baking on my skin. i squeezed his hand a time or two, thankful.
suddenly, his eyes took a different direction before being closed forcefully. he mumbled a short word i did not catch before focusing back on me. a smile had spread on his lips during the short moment he went out of focus.
"stand up," he laid out an order.
to my right bexley appeared dressed more formerly than usual. she gestured carefully for me to get up, which i did, assuming she would lead me down, but instead, she took my place.
a hand was traced from the middle of my stomach around to the side of my hip where it rested until i reached to the touch. "come on," north spoke lowly, his eyes glowing.
"what?" i mumbled, stumbling over every letter in the word. my mind was resetting as i tried to fit the pieces back into the puzzle. "won't they notice?"
"let them," he smiled, pulling my arm.
i barely managed to look behind me to see harry having taken the place of north. a giggle escaped my lips as i realized the irony of the situation.