do you get it?
the title
its a fucking pun
i am so god damn hilarious
---
Marinette Dupain-Cheng did not have a crush on Noir.
She couldn't, they didn't know anything about each other.
She couldn't fall for another gem-eyed blonde dressed like a cat.
She couldn't.
She wouldn't.
It didn't matter how sweet Noir was. How adorable her blush was. The way she winked and smiled and flipped her hair and--
She did not have a crush on Noir.
So why was she daydreaming about her in class instead of paying attention?
Because, because she was doing her job!
Yes! She needed to think about Noir so she could find out her identity!
Because what if Noir turned bad? Who would get the Miraculous back?
Noir was far too graceful and beautiful to let her ring get taken away!
She was too perfect to let that happen!
And then what about Plagg? What would he do with another wayward cat?
Yes, that's why Marinette was daydreaming--thinking--about the beautiful blonde with crystal blue eyes and golden hair.
For work reasons.
No other reasons.
No other--
"Marinette?"
Her head shot up so fast, Marinette thought she might have whiplash.
That would be an embarrassing way to die.
"Uh...yes?" She asked, blinking at the girl in front of her desk.
Alya.
Why was Alya in front of her desk?
Marinette looked around the room, seeing that Madame Bustier was gone--probably disregarding her job again--and the rest of the last was not so subtly eavesdropping.
"I--I--" she took a deep breath, looking slightly nervous. That was weird, Alya didn't get nervous. "Do you want to hang out tonight? We could go see a movie or something."
What?
Alya wanted to hang out with her?
The last time they had hung out was...almost two years ago.
"You...you want to hang out with me?" Marinette hated the way her voice cracked.
She hated that she looked weak to Alya, that she looked like she had been waiting for Alya to talk to her again.
But the truth was, despite Alya leaving her behind for Lila, despite Alya refusing to talk to her for years, despite everything--she still wanted her back.
Alya had been her best friend for years.
And Marinette missed her.
"I miss you, girl. I want to be friends again."
Marinette smiled as she stood up to hug her friend.
It felt good. Alya always gave the best hugs.
"After the whole Lila problem, you stopped being such a jerk and I saw the Marinette you used to be, girl."
And her heart broke all over again.
Marinette took a fast step back, almost tripping in her haste to get away from Alya.
"What?"
She couldn't believe it.
Even after Lila had been exposed, Alya still believed Marinette was a bully.
Alya just smiled.
"Yeah, girl. I'm glad you're back to being nice."
Marinette could barely contain her anger. She clenched her fists, her sharp nails almost drawing blood.
"Why?" She spit out.
Alya raised her eyebrows, looking confused. She gave a short, awkward laugh.
Marinette stood, slamming her hands on the desk.
"Why?"
Alya took a step back, eyes widening comically.
Marinette didn't care. She was fucking sick of Alya pushing her around.
"I--"
Alya started, but Marinette cut her off.
"Is it because you want something from me? Pastries? A free commission? Or maybe it's just because you think I'll come crawling back to you the second you demand it? Why now of all times do you ask to be my friend again?"
Marinette's shoulders were shaking, her face was flushed red with anger.
And she wanted to punch a wall.
Alya stood there gaping like a fish out of water.
But the thing was, she didn't look sorry or worried.
She looked confused.
Like she didn't even understand what she did wrong.
And that only served to spurr Marinette on more.
"Oh! Could it be because you needed someone new to leech off of now that Lila was outed? You know I have connections, is that why you're back?" Marinette's tone was sickly sweet, a fake smile plastered on her face.
Everyone was staring at them.
Everyone was staring at her.
Because they all thought she really was a bitch.
And maybe she was. Maybe she was everything Lila said and more. Maybe she was cruel and mean and awful.
And maybe she didn't care.
Maybe Marinette was done with their bullshit.
They were toxic and demanding people who didn't deserve her love.
So why should she give it to them?
"Marinette, you don't need to be so mean." Mylene said, looking concerned.
Marinette snapped her fingers dramatically, a wide grin on her face.
"You're right, Mylene!" She turned back to Alya. "Why did you want to be friends again, Alya?"
Alya seemed to find her dignity--probably back in Italy with Lila. She straightened up and stared at Marinette.
"Well the Winter Dance is coming up and I thought maybe we could hang out and you could make me a dress?"
Marinette sent her a blank stare before she sat back down and busied herself with a few scattered papers.
"Interesting, well if you want a commission, Alya. You should have just said so."
The girl's face brightened.
"Send in a request on my website, the price should be around $400 or more depending on how intricate you want it."
Marinette ignored the indignant gasp from Alya, the outraged yells from Kim and Ivan, the disappointed head shake from Adrien.
But she didn't ignore the amused smirk from Chloé.
"B-but Marinette! You can't charge me for that, we're best friends!" Alya said indignantly.
Marinette gave her a blank stare.
"Really? Because a personal commission takes up a lot of my time. And then there's the matter of who's paying for it. Usually the consumer would pay for the dress itself, and then the service fee, and of course all the fabric would cost a lot. But why, Alya, do you see yourself above all that?"
The class stared expectantly at Alya, waiting for her answer, one they were sure would put Marinette in her place.
"Because we're besties, girl!" Alya looked like she was about to explode, her earlier nervousness turning into anger.
Marinette made a tsking noise, looking away from Alya and putting her stuff back into her bag.
It was clear to everyone but Alya that the conversation was over.
Alya looked ready to fight when Rose pulled her away.
Marinette couldn't care less, she was already thinking of witty conversation starters for her patrol with Noir later.
---
The school day ended with an Akuma in the form of a scorned classmate.
Lady Revenge sat on the Eiffel Tower, clad in a garish orange cape and thigh high blue boots.
Marinette was going to kill Hawkmoth for doing something so awful. But at least she knew Hawkmoth wasn't a fashion designer.
Ladybug crouched a few rooftops away, peaking over the ledge of the building.
"Those boots are ridiculous." Noir whispered, landing as silent as a cat.
Ladybug jumped, startled.
"And that cape? Truly awful." She tried and failed to keep the squeak out of her voice.
"It really does suit her though, a terrible person wearing a terrible outfit." Noir grinned at Ladybug, her canines shining.
Ladybug snorted before a thought hit her.
Did Noir know Alya?
"Do you know what happened?" Ladybug whispered.
"This girl yelled at her--rightfully so--because she wanted a free dress even though they stopped being friends a few years ago. The bitch has no right to be mad."
And that confirmed it.
Noir was in her class.
---
Ladybug took no care with this Akuma.
She had no time to cuddle someone who had no reason to be akumatized.
She slammed her fist into Lady Revenge's face, spinning into a kick to the stomach when the Akuma stumbled.
Noir came in from the back, launching herself over Lady Revenge's head and sweeping her leg as she landed.
Lady Revenge toppled over, screeching about how unfair everything was.
Ladybug pulled out her Lucky Charm, a bright orange dress--one that looked suspiciously like one of Marinette's designs-- that she used to distract Lady Revenge while Noir broke her Akuma.
The battle had only lasted ten minutes.
With Noir, it felt so easy, so fun to be Ladybug. She felt like Noir was helping to bear the weight rather than bringing her more baggage.
It was so...freeing.
"Ladybug?" Alya gasped out, jumping to her feet and fumbling for her camera.
Ladybug stiffened but turned around all the same. Noir leaned on her staff beside her.
"Can I ask you a few questions? Please?"
Ladybug hated it, but she needed Alya to stop bothering her--and this might be the only way.
"One. One question."
Noir raised an eyebrow at Ladybug, shifting closer--as if to protect her.
The thought made her heart flutter.
"Why don't you call on Rena Rouge anymore?"
That was the question she wanted to ask?
Fine.
So be it.
"Rena Rouge was an incompetent and untrustworthy person who wasn't fit to wield a Miraculous. She is cruel and unjust, I have only ever met one other person as incapable of holding such power and that is the former Chat Noir."
Alya gaped, eyes glossy with unshed tears.
But Ladybug was far from done.
"She was supposed to be the Master of Illusion but was caught in a web of lies--lies that hurt someone she once called a friend. Rena Rouge's judgment was clouded and in turn, her nobility corrupt. I can only blame myself for choosing someone so obviously unfit to wield the Fox Miraculous--or any Miraculous for that matter."
Noir set a hand on Ladybug's shoulder--attempting to calm the shaking.
Ladybug huffed. Alya lowered her phone. Noir looked concerned by the shaking in Ladybug's shoulders.
"Does that answer your question?"
Alya swallowed the lump in her throat, nodding shakily.
"Good. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to get going."
She nodded to Noir, who grinned.
Then the two launched into the sky.
---
Marinette flopped onto her bed with a dramatic sigh.
Her mind was racing faster than she could keep up with.
Noir was in her class.
Noir was in her class.
Holy Kwami.
She knew Noir. Noir knew her.
Fucking hell.
She could find out who her partner was.
She could--
"Marinette!" Her maman popped her head through the trapdoor to Marinette's bedroom.
Marinette's head shot up, glancing around for Tikki--who had hid in the little dollhouse Marinette made for her when she heard Sabine.
"Yes, Maman?"
Sabine smiled at her daughter, such a beautiful young girl--one with far too much responsibility for a 17 year old.
"You have a friend here, dear."
Marinette blinked. She didn't have any friends.
Sabine's head disappeared and Chloé's appeared.
"Hi, Marinette."
---
ya girls adding salt
--Lemon