After the long day at school, I took a very long shower and I sang all through.
After doing all the dishes and organizing my room, I invited Arthur over for a chat since we hadn't discussed much in school.
In few minutes, Arthur arrived with a white girl who was of average height and had a long, wavy, dark hair.
"Hello," she said in a British accent.
"Hi," I replied in surprise.
"Steph, this is Delaney Beckett, my friend from science camp," Arthur introduced.
"Oh, I didn't know you had a friend from camp... coming over."
"She took a few months break to Britain where she's actually based in and now she's back! She's also gonna attend school with us."
"That's really nice. I'm Stephanie and you are welcome to my home. Feel comfy," I smiled gently.
"Thank you. I have heard a lot about you. Arthur won't stop talking about you."
"Yeah, yeah," said Arthur. "You are looking at America's next top celebrity."
"That reminds me—we need to talk about something mind-blowing."
They both took their seats and I served drinks and cookies. I started off by telling Arthur about my little trip to the principal's office and ended at Nicole's perplexing behaviour. I left no single detail out.
"Oh, Stephanie... Steph, Steph, Steph, naive and innocent Stephanie..." Arthur said in somewhat a rhythm, moving his head sides and I snapped, "oh, would you get to the point!"
Delaney meticulously glared at us.
"Stephanie, I hate to say this but... just kidding, I love to say this," he chuckled a bit, "you are being bamboozled."
"What?!" I was shocked.
"Oh yes. Can't you see? Nicole is up to no good."
"Why do you think so?" I folded my arms and pursed my lips.
"I've been here all my life and I know that girl. Based on what you explained, I figured Nicole is only playing a fun game of help-me-protect-my-secret. She is only faking the act to make you keep her secret safe 'cause she's aware that that could be a great disappointment to her daddy and she also knows that could be a doorway to boarding school in Britain and a ruined career. Think about it," Arthur said earnestly.
"No! She meant everything she said," I said earnestly.
"Do you even hear yourself?" Arthur said again and silence ruled for a moment. "Trust me girl, Nicole is a bad influence, she always has been and she wouldn't just change in a blink of an eye because of hurtful words from her father—which is not a new thing. If you knew who you're dealing with, you wouldn't even imagine associating with her—oh best of friends, she said, pfft! Have you really forgotten all she did to you—how she mistreated you? She really is a terrible influence. If she really has changed then she needs to prove it to everyone before you can think of associating with her," Arthur quietly philosophized but I stood on what I believed of her—a changed person now.
"You know, I didn't expect you to react this way about this... you're meant to be on my side. You should have seen the tears in her eyes."
"She's literally an actor!"
"Jeez, Arthur, you should understand what I mean."
"Honestly, I don't. Nicole is sly, perfidious, and deceptive!" Arthur stood to expound in a very explicit way and Delaney interrupted, having been astounded all through.
"I'm not fully aware of what the butt is going on but I think you really should be sharp-eyed. Stephanie, Arthur might be right in a way. If a bad person comes to you and claims to have had a change of heart or intends on doing so, then you should observe that person and let them prove it to you before believing or associating."
Arthur nodded in concurrence, "Thank you!" And I let out a sigh of stress. I began to contemplate on my stance and Arthur's.
"Um, Delaney? Don't you remember Nicole? As in famous Nicole McGuire?"
"Golly!" She slapped her forehead, "I totally forgot! It didn't even occur to me that such person exists here in OVC. I knew that personality seemed familiar."
"Yup. The only daughter of Aristarchus The Great."
Delaney then turned to me excitedly and said to my face, "Steph, you're so lucky! You should totally hang out with her," and Arthur replied, "Dude! I'm trying to put out a fire and you're adding more gasoline."
"Just kidding."
They both didn't understand what being friends with Nicole meant to me. It meant that I would be free from her oppression and fulfilling my ambition would be highly possible. I also thought God was with me but why did Arthur have to be so pessimistic about everything?
***
I read Emlyn's text that said he was busy with a task and we couldn't hang out anymore, then I fixed my earpiece in my ears and got drowned in music—the right one for my despondent mood.
Ever since I arrived in Olive Valley, it had been from one catastrophe to another; I never fully experienced happiness.
I had heard from people that the white man's land was filled with pure happiness due to much civilization.
I did have problems in Nigeria; I had to deal with peer pressure, I battled with depression, and a low self-esteem at some point. However, my issues reached the peak in the foreign land.
I had been that girl who rather than chase after the male gender, I chased after dreams. I was that girl who owned a bucket list filled with impossibilities which my mind managed to manipulate, making a possibility. I was that one girl who would spend the whole of my day studying the scriptures, building up my vocabulary, learning foreign accents and languages, learning new skills, and just in every way prepare for the future and equip myself towards my dreams and purpose. Who would want to hang out with such human?
People came into my life and walked out in just a while. I lost a lot of friends and had just few which I had been aware of the gossips they still spoke behind my back.
People as well told me that I was trying too hard to assimilate into the white culture because I was too distinct from an average Nigerian teen. I loved what my people detested and I detested what they loved.
I had been bullied once for my surname and personality. The boys in my class had told me that God had dropped me in Africa by accident and I would weep like a baby.
I did love the white culture—it was like adoring the rest of God's creation outside your race, but I also enjoyed being black.
My dad would say, "your great grandfather was a white man afterall."
I as well planned on getting married to a white man and my friends insulted me for it. While they were thinking, "Are there no perfect men here in Africa? Does your life have to revolve around the white world? Are they better than your own people?"
I was thinking, "Aren't we meant to be one? Is it a law that one must marry a person from their own tribe or country? I'll get married to whomever I want to, I don't give a damn about your race, just as long as you've got the right qualities. I only chose a white man because I want mixed kids."
Since my friends thought that much about me and the white culture, I thought life there would be easy and that I would fit right in. I as well thought that by travelling overseas, I could leave behind the problems in Nigeria but it turned out that problems aren't always a geographical thing.
The thoughts that continued to hover in my mind were of my past back in Nigeria.
There came a day when a new student arrived in my class.
Typically, all the boys were all over her and every usual thing she did was fascinating to them.
"She's left handed!"
"She writes so neatly!"
"She can draw, beautiful and talented!"
"She wears lipgloss!"
"She wears a skirt!"
Okay I may have exaggerated there a little bit.
It got to a point where they began making comparison between I and the girl, given that we were almost alike. She had special abilities like me and was very eloquent; she was also a claimed Christian. I used to be the smartest girl in class but then, this girl hopped on aboard and stole my spot.
She beat me in so many subjects and activities that I started to lose my good grades. I put no effort into anything anymore because I already accommodated the idea that she was better than me.
Teachers as well, seeing her good results, began to compare me with her and it made me so bitter.
"Lara is a Christian and still indulges in fun stuff. She goes to parties, she dates boys, and has casual s*x but she still honours God! Unlike some self-righteous people," I heard the boys say in a conversation.
I dissembled their conversation; they were dumb as a box of rocks to have my attention.
Things got so bad that they began to pair themselves with girls and when they paired I and a guy, he said, "Stephanie Bakewell? I'd rather be single than date that holier-than-thou even if she was the only girl in the universe."
The boys burst into laughter.
My self-esteem was buried six feet under ground. I never wanted to talk to anyone ever again. School for me was like a prison yard, my peculiarity was obnoxious to everyone. I constantly buried my head in books and spoke only to God. I believed that one day, He would give me the chance to be a voice and inspire others like me.
I interacted with my friends only over small conversations and mostly, they did all the talking because each time I opened my mouth to speak, the words that flew out were of God and of my passion to be a voice.
I focused on building myself and I read my Bible each day. I tuned out my parents' conflict and strived to study in the noisy apartment.
They didn't care about how critical life was getting for me; they were so caught up in sorting out their issues.
I got back on my feet and decided to be friends with Lara and not despise her for her potentials or what the others said. I realized that that was the only way I could be free from the grip of envy and be happy.
One particular week, I had been studying Christian Religious Studies for weeks and in class, a question came in about The Trinity. That was one of my favorite subjects and I knew everything about it, moreover I was a mighty Christian.
The teacher kept demanding for the answer to "who was God speaking to when He kept mentioning 'let us' during the creation of the world?"
Everyone was mute, even Lara. He pointed to several students but they gave no valid response.
I was keen to answer the question, it was something I had been studying, something no one else knew the answer to, and it was finally the right time for me to prove myself and shut the scorners up.
The teacher walked up to where I was seated and pointed towards that area. "What is the answer?" He asked and without hesitation, I jumped on my feet, "God was talking to..." I said and he interrupted, "I was referring to Esther and not you."
Everyone laughed and gloated. I took my seat in shame and fell on my face.
Esther as well couldn't attempt the question and so the teacher turned back to me, "Let's here you out now, Stephanie."
I sadly rose up and said, "God was conversing with the Trinity during the creation."
"Wrong! He was conversing with the angels. Read your Bible."
The rest laughed all over again and mocked my eagerness and failure. I knew he was wrong and I wanted to challenge him to prove to the others that I knew what I was talking about.
I fiercely said to his face, "No! Excuse me sir, but you're wrong..."
He didn't let me finish, "And who are you to tell me I'm wrong? How many degrees in education have you got? You're just in secondary school. You were too eager to speak and still ended up saying nonsense. All you want is to prove to people that you know it all. You never want to listen to others and people like you are usually buried in pride, people like you never take corrections and never want to learn, you always feel like you know everything.
You all will be hearing from the principal soon."
Tears dripped from my eyes and from that day onward, my classmates referred to me as "miss know-it-all."
I was thoroughly devastated, down in the dumps.
"Baby steps, sister. If you want to be an inspiration to the world, at least answer a simple Bible question first."
"You who worships God as if there's no tomorrow cannot even give the correct answer to a biblical question and you claim to be different from the rest of us."
"God will be very disappointed 'cause you clearly don't serve Him enough."
Later on, the teacher called me into the staff room on a particular morning.
"I'm so sorry about all I said to you that day."
"Um, was I right?"
"I shouldn't have spoken to you in such humiliating manner in the presence of your classmates."
"Was I right? Was the answer correct?"
"Erm, yes... I just looked it up and you were right."
"Then come to the class and tell everyone that I was right."
"You can't be serious. So, apologizing to you isn't enough, ehn?"
"You rudely spoke to me in the presence of my classmates over something I was right about! Do you know how much emotional harm that caused me?"
His pride didn't agree with him. He couldn't admit to the students that he was wrong.
When I got the truth, I returned to class and by chance, a boy termed me as "madam know-it-all."
"Now everyone of you, listen to me! The next time anyone here speaks ill of me or calls me names, I'll bring my father to this school.
I was right, that day, I was right! I answered the question correctly and you all would know that if you actually studied, and he would have known that if he wasn't just employed here to teach us what he has zero knowledge about.
I'm sick and tired of you guys insulting me! Am I the only girl in this class? Or I'm just too special that you guys won't stop talking about me?
"So what if I have a dream to inspire the world? So what if I do the things you all don't do? So what if I don't fit in?
Your priorities are not mine. I've got set goals and I'm working towards achieving them. Laugh at me for taking my life seriously at a young age but I hope when you realize how wrong your thoughts are about me, it won't be too late.
"And stop comparing me with people! Why don't you compare me with yourselves! You guys don't feel you have any worth and that's why you spend time comparing me with those you think have more worth. This should be the last time any of you do anything to hurt my feelings."
The whole class was silent as the tomb; my words really hit them.
Before the day was over, they all started to come around me one by one and try to make conversations.
"Stephanie, have you eaten?"
"Hey Steph, how many pen are you with?"
"Are you done with your classwork?"
"Stephanie, are you hot? Should I turn on the air conditioner?"
"Are you hungry? I brought extra lunch."
I was given so much respect and not one soul went against my rules ever again. Standing up for oneself does pay off.
Afterwards, life for me became simple and I continued to follow my dreams. The only obstacle I had to deal with once again, was that of my parents.
***
My mom, especially, didn't want me to become an actress. She didn't even like me to mention such ambition to her face, she wanted me to study law like the rest of her friends' children.
My dad on the other hand, his choice for my career didn't coincide with hers and that was one of the things that encouraged a lot of misunderstanding.
They basically disagreed on everything and always held different opinions.
My mom claimed that my dad was out to ruin my life and that was why she never yielded to his thoughts of taking me abroad with him.
In Nigeria, choosing the career of one's children was a lot common. Parents felt like they knew best and that their kids would only be successful when their ambition was chosen by the parents. The professionals like doctors, lawyers and accountants were mostly esteemed highly.
Careers like Law, Government Administration, Business Administration, Health Science, Agriculture, Information Technology, Architecture and whatnot would easily thrive in the country. While fields of art like Music, Dancing—Theater; Video t
Technology, Communications, Sports; Gaming, Fashion and the likes of it scarcely thrived in the county.
And so, they made the lives of their kids miserable by preventing them from pursuing what they had the zeal for and what they had the potentials for.
I was a victim.
"An actress? That cannot be, not in my house. You hear me?"
"But why?"
"Because I pay your school fees and I get to decide what I want you to do with your education. If you're going to acting school then raise the money yourself." That statement was one of the reasons why I did start up a sales business to raise money for acting school.
"That's not fair!"
"Would you shut up?" She shunned. "You think I'm going to allow you waste your time on a stupid career? I am a banker, your father is a data analyst and I desire for our child to study Law. I want to look at you and be proud that I sent you to school. I want to see a professional in her field, not you going around TV and exposing your body."
"What is with you parents and such thinking? As an actress, I get to teach people life lessons through the power of art. I get to convey real life situations through a movie. Why do you think those who go into the music or movie industry are bound to stray? Well, it most likely ends in that direction but I will be different. I'm going to use my fame, my talents, and those mere scenes to change the lives of people for good!"
My mom and Aunt Dabira cracked a heavy laughter.
"Look at the way she's arguing with really good points, really fit to be a lawyer," said Aunt Dabira.
"Oh Lord," I slapped my face.
"You send kids to school and once they gain little knowledge, they begin to rub it off on your face and act all civilized and wise like you weren't in this life before them."
"I'm going to be an actress and not a lawyer, that's all I know."
"Don't get me annoyed 'cause if I get up and meet you where you're seated, you'll find yourself in the hospital in few minutes." She said and I bowed my head in respect. One clear difference between a white kid and a kid raised in Africa—submissiveness—Often, it brought forth a disciplined, obedient and wonderful product, but it also was very absurd and extreme for parents to treat their kids that way.
That happened to be one of the things I wanted to enlighten the world about reason being I didn't enjoy being controlled that much by my guardians.
As a matter of fact, the things going on around me provoked the desire to want to be a voice and educate the public; things like a broken home and the selfishness of parents, trying hard to handle career-choosing parents as a kid, dealing with bullying, dealing with being different and a lot more.
I was so caught up with thinking that I forgot to attend to my homework and I lost appetite to eat.
Life...