Note: Such a disappointingly written chapter, really. I sincerely apologise for I ruined it all.
Warning:
Cursing (not very mild if I say so myself)
┏━━━━°⌜ 赤い糸 ⌟°━━━━┓
"They both found it
easier to believe in that
lie than accept the truth
of what was to come."
┗━━━━°⌜ 赤い糸 ⌟°━━━━┛
Ray jolted up, sweating bullets, his fists clamped together, eyes as wide as saucers. The night was dark, as dark as the sea it seemed to be. And he didn't like it one bit.
Whatsoever, it was the truth.
The gun, the grave, the flowers.
All of it was what he knew he would do.
The gun? Y/n had allowed herself to let it slip, once mentioning it was kept inside the locker in her room, the password to which he knew.
The grave? Y/n had always wished to be buried next to her father's resting place.
The flowers? He wanted her to always know of the love and adoration he held for her, sympathy for her circumstances. And Orchid plants did the job. He had bought them the previous day.
It was the day of her birthday, her 20th birthday.
He could practically envisage it.
How she would take her last breath, the warm smile refusing to leave her lips. How he would hear his family's sobs and wails. How she would be buried deep into the ground. How her name will be carved onto a fine stone.
But most of all, how his heart would break.
How he would go numb.
He had lived for twenty years, his twenty-first one in progress. But he didn't want it to be completed, not without her.
Enveloped in his own masculine scent, he could only stare at the blank wall, the moonlight faintly pouring into his room.
He had less than twenty four hours.
Twenty four hours for whatever fate had decided for them.
And he didn't want to waste them.
Practically lunging out of his bed, he sprinted to her room, attempting to keep his hurried footsteps as quiet as possible. The corridoors seemed as empty as ever, the dim yellow lights the only source of illumination as silence had engulfed the house entirely. And he was sure there was no one in the house who was actually sleeping.
Not bothering to knock, he just slammed the door open, his pants resonating in her room as she gawked at him wide eyed.
She had a slice of cake in her hands.
At two in the fucking morning.
And honestly, he wasn't suprised.
His eyes scanned her figure, a huff emitting from him simultaneously,
"What're you doing?"
She rolled her eyes as she stuffed her mouth with the sweet delicacy which appeared to be of her favourite flavor,
"What does it look like? More like, what are you doing?"
He raised a brow teasingly, plopping himself on the mattress, "You tell me first."
"I'm eating cake by myself 'cause no one wants to celebrate my birthday with me," she relaxed her posture, leaning her spine against the head board.
"Who said that?" he pinched her cheek gently, a small smirk tugging on his lips.
"Gimme some too," he opened his jaw open, motioning her to feed him with his finger.
She shot him a funny look before stuffing it in his mouth, getting a bit of the whipped cream on the tip of his nose.
He shook his head as he attempted to keep his laughter in at the annoyed expression she wore.
Once he swallowed the bite down, he grinned at her, "Too irritated, are we?"
"Shut," she hissed, bringing the blanket to her body, continuing to devour her slice of the cake.
He tipped his face upwards, eyes following the faint jingling of the chandelier caused by the wind.
He had so many emotions that had went on a spiral inside him and he couldn't even describe a single one.
She'll leave and then what?
What about him?
Maybe he should go with her.
It's the best solution isn't it?
"Don't you even dare..." she whispered, a frown sculpted on her face, her softened features that signified indifference until a few seconds ago were morphed into one pervaded entirely with concern, a hint of rage prominent at the same time.
He smiled without looking at her.
I love you, I love you so much.
Ray was a book to her after all. His entirety pages of a book she could flip on her own accord, read them as she willed, when she willed.
And to Ray, she was the book who's pages he wasn't permitted to turn when he reaches the interval.
And he had arrived at that point the moment he had gotten a second chance.
But for what was left, he couldn't know.
He climbed onto the bed, sitting himself beside her. With his head seeking support from her shoulder, he inahled softly, her comforting scent welcoming itself into his nostrils.
Without doubting himself for even a second, he squeezed her tightly, his chin digging into the crook of her neck, his warm breath fanning over her cold skin.
"Remind me again, what's the point in living?" he muttered, sealing his eyes shut.
She lightly drummed her fingers on his knee, an almost inaudible hum emitting from her throat, "You have a reason why you're born. Just find that reason."
"And what if you've already found it?" he interrogated, his eyes now following the gentle curving of her lips.
"Never leave it," she murmured, her tone a soft melody.
He brought his chin upwards so his face was now next to hers, "And what if you're the reason why I was born?"
Well, fuck.
Well, fuck that she had seen it coming.
She had seen all the misery he would have to shoulder once she was gone.
Because Ray was still in love with her.
Absolutely nothing had changed for him. What would change anyways? He loved her with every new form, every new phase she would go through. A new Y/n? He would love her. The old Y/n? He would love her. A Y/n who was much different from how he had supposed her to be? He would still love her.
It didn't matter how she acts or how she thinks.
He loved her and he would forever love her, there was no entity that could have him back down.
It wasn't even about being selfish or selfless anymore.
It was about Ray.
It was about Sam.
It was about Gilda, Emma, Norman, Don, Nat, Anna, Isabella and everyone else.
She wanted to stay.
She didn't want to see them cry themselves to sleep, from heaven or hell above.
Was it too much to ask?
Too much to ask for Ray who desired to grow old with her?
Too much to ask for Sam who wanted to see her smile?
Too much to ask for Gilda who wanted to drink wine together as wise, old women?
Too much to ask for Emma who wanted to watch her have the happiest times of her life?
Too much to ask for Norman who simply wanted to lead a peaceful life with everyone?
Too much to ask for Don, Nat and Anna who wanted to make the bestest of memories with her?
Too much to ask for Isabella who just wanted to see her grow into an independent, powerful woman?
It was miserable for her, all of it.
Good memories? She made them but not one without the thought, 'this might as well be the last one I make'.
Sure, she had lived a fulfilling life but was she ready to leave?
Nope, no matter how hard she tried.
"Don't say things like that," she huffed, biting on her inner cheek.
"So you're asking me to lie, hm?" he eyes her, brows raised expectantly.
"Shut."
"No."
"Yes."
"No."
• • •
There wasn't much to do, the day had passed before they knew it. The two just goofing around in her room, doing the stupidest of stuff to ignore the misery soaring at new heights in their hearts. Which included;
Ray tripping over the rug and bruising his chin, Y/n breaking her mug, making face masks together, which they rather gracefully failed at.
Was it arduous to accept?
Not at all.
This was the end, there was no changing it.
So many memories, so much of laughter and innumerable tears.
All of it had made them into the two human beings they were to this day.
Was it worth it?
They couldn't say for sure but for as far as they knew, the finer option was for them to be grateful for what they had.
The hour hand of the wall clock had barely passed eight when they both fell silent, sitting themselves cross-legged on the carpet as the last balmy, solicitous sun rays peaked through the curtains, the dark clouds blanketing a part of it ever so slowly.
Y/n smiled to herself, playing with the fur of the carpet, the one they had purchased from Norway.
"I can't believe this," a pained chuckle eluded from Ray's throat, the beats of his heart increasing with each passing moment.
She shook her head dismissively, her mellow laugh clinking in his ears as if it was the only thing that would give him the strength to live on,
"C'mon, don't be like that."
Tipping her head in his direction, she awaited him to look her in the eyes; which he did, silently staring at her face, as if trying to memorise each and every sculpted detail, "Take care, alright? Make some good memories and continue supporting everyone else. You're a level headed man, clever and observant, so I'm sure you'll be able to figure things out. If not now, later."
"You don't need to remind me that," he dismissed, looking away.
"You should take rest," she suggested, hugging her knees tightly to her chest.
"Like hell I'll be able to," he mocked, biting on his tongue.
"At least go to your bed now."
Eyeing her, he raised a brow,
"Why?"
"You must be exhausted plus you don't want to see me pass away, no?" she spoke so nonchalantly of it, that it almost managed to tick him off.
Sighing nonetheless, he nodded in her direction, still remaining seated, "Okay..."
"Well?"
He had acted before his brain had allowed him to comprehend his thoughts, shoving her head harshly into his chest, his breathing too ragged for him to spout a single word.
She could only subtly smile, digging her face further into his chest, the comforting cologne of his impregnating itself into her soul; she would forever remember it after all, remember him until her soul was burnt into nothing but charred ashes, remains of what she used to be.
He held her tighter and she wasn't suprised by his actions.
It was the last time she would be in his arms, the last time he would see her smile, have her scent fill his nostrils, her strands of (h/c) hair tickle his neck, her touch that would send tingles throughout his body.
It was the last time, for her and for them.
She wreathed her arms around his built, squeezing him tightly, "I'll look over you, so don't worry."
He brought her in his lap, settling her figure as he rocked her back and forth, nuzzling his face into her shoulder, "You better... You better..."
Soon, she could feel the fabric covering her shoulder blade dampen bit by bit, the rapid beating of his heart thumping against her own.
She could only sit in his lap, a smile capering on her lips as he sobbed into her frame, his body shaking with every muffled cry that eluded from him. Kissing his temple, she pet his head, the sensation of the strokes appealing to her. His rough but locks smoothened with hair gel, tangling in her slim fingers.
Holding her frame as firmly as he could, he allowed himself to break and his heart to shatter into pieces and minute bits. He couldn't possibly saved now. Hell, if he couldn't save himself, who'll? And he knew without her, he would an empty shell, his soul gone with her, only his bones and organs left to do their jobs.
"C'mon now, Ray. I'll be with you, don't worry," she smiled at the boy, lips landing on the top of his head, left palm securely gripping on his shoulder.
He nodded his head gruffly, a tiny mutter escaping his dried up lips, "As if..."
She exhaled, engulfing him another hug, rubbing circles on his back, "Take care, okay?"
He drew back from the hug, void of eyes softly piercing through her (e/c) ones.
She tilted her head, confused, "Anything left to say?"
He sighed, his gaze casting downwards, "Nah but..."
He tilted his head back right up, nose brushing against hers, eyes scintillating unnoticeably when they stopped at her plump lips.
She was quick to react, however, placing her index finger against her lips, a teasing smile playing on her lips, "If I'm waiting for a kiss, it rightly belongs to death."
He laughed with ill-humor, the sound resonating in the room, bouncing of the walls to meet the two right at their eardrums.
History was repeating itself.
Y/n was leaving.
Ray was suffering.
And it felt like everything was coming to an end, as if everything was just a delusion up till now.
Ray's world smashing to smithereens right in front of his eyes.
His soul and heart being crashed, wrecked, ruined, demolished and nixed all together.
There was not even a wee of hope, forget about an ounce. This was the consequence of their actions and decisions. Nothing could be changed now and all they could possibly do was accept things as they were, the haunting truth which didn't bestow the least bit of mercy upon them.
"Right..." he shook his head, the smile never leaving his face.
He stood up, peering at her figure below him, "But don't you ever forget... how much I loved you and how much I'll always love you. Always forever."
She didn't need to say anything because she knew he knew; he was never getting a response, there was no requirement nor any use.
• • •
The clock read quarter past eleven, the ticking resounding in the quiet room. The flame of a candle wavered with the harsh wind that blew in from the windows left open, welcoming inside whatever was out there. The speeding of car wheels and the roaring of the engine sounded from the distance, a couple of fireworks going up simultaneously. The full moon shone fulgently, stars twinkling in the tenebrous stage.
The dim yellow light bulb illuminated the entire room, including Y/n's figure which was leaning on the headboard of the bed, eyes shut and eased, her blanket draped causally around her body.
A mere fourty-five minutes was what she had.
And she was rather pleased, remiscing all of the memories she had made all these years, whether joyous or sorrowful, she was accepting them all, one by one.
She was more than grateful.
Life had given her innumerable lessons and she was glad it did, without them she wouldn't be who she was.
She was grateful for the people met them.
Without their affection and hatred, she wouldn't even be half of who she was.
All the circumstances and each person she encountered, had had an impact on her, one which couldn't be reversed.
Exhaling softly, she smiled meekly to herself, eyelashes still gracefully pressed against her cheeks.
This was what fate had in store for her and she didn't object it one bit, not anymore. She believed in everyone, putting faith in the fact that they'll be capable to overcome her death and move on to lead better lives.
Despite brooding over the state she'd leave all of them in, especially Ray, Sam and Gilda, she had given her last words to each of them, being aware it would aid them, if not a lot, a bit at least.
Opening her eyes, she glanced around her room, eyes falling particularly on a letter sitting on her night table. She chuckled inwardly, grabbing it and flipping it over to spot any stains or unclean spots.
The peach envelope habituated one of her most prized possessions, letters and pictures from the demon world.
Gently untaping it, she slipped out a particular polaroid. Grinning almost instantly at the sight that laid in front of her eyes.
There, Y/n pulling Ray in a head lock,
her face plunged with glee whilst his practically screamed 'excuse you!?'. Emma and Norman in the background just startled, mouths agape.
The woman could only shake her head, laughing to herself without the tiniest of clue to what meaning and history the insignificant fragment of frozen time held.
Sliding it back inside cautiously, she folded the envelope, returning it to its initial place.
Inhaling deeply, she once again shut her eyes, permitting herself to relive all of her life, from the moment she was born to the very moment death's door was only a step away.
Before her knowing, a hum raised from her throat. A perfect melody following immediately after without her even thinking of it.
Where did she learn it from? She didn't know.
All she could do was sit there cluelessly as her humming resounded in the room.
Another voice soon joined in, originating from the other side of the door. The voice was deep, almost brittle, on the verge of shattering. Provoked to fly her eyes open, she swallowed the lump in her throat which equalled to her own throbbing heart as she managed to recognise whom the voice belonged to.
Resting his back against the frigid wooden door, Ray hit the back of his head faintly on its surface, a tear rolling down his face at the slowest pace, the warm sensation sending goosebumps to crawl on his porcelain skin. The hums emitted from his throat simultaneously, the lullaby bringing back a flood of memories.
Isabella's lullaby, that's what they were singing. One completely aware of its antecedents and significance, the latter on the other hand entirely incognizant of it.
20 years.
For 20 years, she had the most peerless time indeed.
And now it was time to say goodbye.
Goodbye to the world that had bestowed her with everything.
Goodbye to the people who were her everything.
With the poignant aroma of her and Ray's shared body mosturiser mixed with the whiff of the burnt, previously placid wax and the subdued flame frisking ever so gently, Y/n basked in the solacing ambience for the last time; the minute hand finally aligning together with the hour hand, the chorus echoing loudly through the entire house as midnight fell.
• • •
"Hi! I um am Y/n! Nice to meet you! What is your name?"
"R-Ray."
"Like Ray of sunshine!?"
"You are a book-worm Ray..."
"So? Leave if you are uninterested."
"Hold your horses mister! Can you make me your companion?"
"Ray, where did you learn this lullaby from?"
"My mother,"
"Your mother? But how did you know your mother?"
"That is a story for another time."
"Y/n, what will you do when you go out?"
"Hm.... Let's see! Lead a nice life, helping others!"
"I am the traitor."
"We are going to escape from here, together."
"But you know Ray, even though you hate me, I will keep on annoying you, forever and ever!"
"You-You are still alive! I-I missed you! Don't, just don't, don't do it ever again!"
"Hey... Look at me..."
"Someday, let's watch the Aurora Borealis together."
Ray.
So it was this man all along, huh?
Ray.
His name has such a nice ring to it.
Ray.
I loved you.
Perhaps, I still do.
Thanks for existing.
Why can I still think?
Why am I still conscious?
Wasn't this supposed to be the end?
Oh, I know now...
How could I forget anyways?
"MS. L/N HAS A LETTER."
Her eyes sprung open at the head maid, Lana's voice, door bursting open simultaneously.
Ray stood there eyes wide as saucers, blood shot red, his sclera appearing much more prominent, the crimson veins surrounding the edges. His nose was puffed up, trails of tears glistening on his cheeks, his entire demeanor indicating that of a man who underwent the whole world being shook.
He didn't understand.
Why? How?
Was her living past midnight a good thing?
Were things going to take a turn for the worse?
Worse than they already were?
He hadn't caught Y/n's eyes, for she was too absorbed staring at the clock, the minute hand that had moved a millimetre right in front of her eyes.
12:01am, on her 20th birthday.
A sight she never predicted to see.
Lana narrowly rushed past Ray, lips quivering as she handed the woman a letter.
It didn't seem like a letter from any ordinary person.
The envelope was red which competed with the shade of blood, a shimmery wine white stamp sealing it shut. Y/n could only gruffly open it, already knowing what the piece of paper had to disclose.
Slipping the paper out, her eyes fixated on the neat handwriting that had graced the crease-less sheet.
Dear Y/n,
I'm sure you're aware of what is to be said today. However still, I'm writing this letter to ensure that a formal confirmation is provided.
Besides the two exchanges, your third exchange stated the requirement of you to live on with the crippling Lambda-DNA disease in return of allowing someone else to burden themselves with a new sacrifice.
In simple words, someone else could pay a new amount and free you of your grievances.
And that was the role I stepped up for.
Much similar to your experience, I, too, was asked to give up my biggest desire. Mine being the dream to rule the demon world with utmost justice.
Now, instead of me, Vylk's granddaughter, Emma will be the ruler. I'll support her as the regent until she's old enough to rule.
You've done a lot, L/n Y/n and I could never thank you enough for it. The demon world wouldn't have ever prospered if it wasn't for your willingness to sacrifice all that you had and the selfless demeanor that never failed to leave an imprint.
After all, it's the faith and strength to go against all odds.
It only stroke to me how unfair it was on you when I became the ruler, how all your life you gave but didn't take anything in return.
This is the bare minimum of what you deserve but nonetheless, it's a means to express my limitless gratitude towards you.
I hope you lead a better life, a life full of joys which you very well deserve. As much as I hate to say it, you won't be rid of the disease but better much so, everything else is retrieved now. Take care. Lots of wishes to you and the family. I'll forever be in your debt.
Sincerely,
Mujika.
A feeble laugh erupted from her.
Was she dreaming, perhaps?
She had to, right?
It couldn't be true.
"Y/n...?" Ray could only sputter in a low, hoarse voice. Tears endlessly dropping on the wooden floorboards as his palms uncurled from their fists, white, pale knuckles being restored of their colour.
She looked up, blankly staring at him, eyes hollow, void of any emotions whatsoever.
Ray.
Ray.
Ray.
Ray.
Ray.
Ray.
Ray.
Ray.
Ray.
Ray.
"THE DEMON WORLD'S NEW EMPRESS HAS BEEN ANNOUNCED!"
[A/n: tickled his nickled instead of tickled his neck]