Authors note: To be honest, i wasn't planning on updating so early but i had a feeling if i didn't update now, then when would i? So yeah lol enjoy this shit.
Edit: This has been rewritten a bit.
'Sixteen years ago, a not-so-ordinary boy was born to an ordinary couple'.
"Aww", almost everyone said as they cooed over baby-Saiki.
"He's cute...almost as cute as you", Saiki's parents says lovingly to each other as they coo over baby-Saiki.
"Aww, what loving parents you have there, Saiki!", Hairo exclaimed. Many agreed and continued to coo over his toddler self.
While they were distracted with each other, another voice was heard. 'Am i in second place?', the voice questioned.
"WHAT?!", the majority of the audience shouted as they continue to watch the absurdity of the scene.
'He was able to talk when he was 14 days old, without using his voice', Saiki says. In the background you can hear his parents exclaiming in wonder.
"What the fuck... I still can't believe he talked at 14 days old", a student from class 3-A whispered in disbelief. The people who heard him also agreed.
"He spoke! Directly to my brain!", "You're right! That's so mysterious!".
"You really do have carefree parents, Saiki... ", Kuboyasu said to him in wonder. If you looked closely, you can see a trail of sweat as he said that.
Saiki nodded to Kuboyasu and then quickly returned to watch the next scene.
'Furthermore, when he was one month old, he was able to walk...'
The screen then shows baby Saiki walking but.. '...in the air', Saiki said as the screen shows him walking on air.
"Holy shit...", many murmured as they watched baby-Saiki walk in the air, amazement can be seen on their faces.
"Woah, that's so cool buddy!", Nendou exclaimed as he excitedly clapped his hands.
'Good grief. At this rate, they might set up a shrine dedicated to me and later on worship it', Saiki thought as he sighed at the horrible idea. 'Thinking about it already gives me a headache'.
'When he was one year old', Saiki utters as it then shows baby-Saiki suddenly disappearing and then came back with a handful of mirin. 'He ran his first errand'.
'This incident shocked his normally calm mother. Normal parents might have taken the child to a hospital or a research facility. However, this couple was quiet laid back', Saiki narrates.
"He must have stolen them", Saiki's mother worriedly said. "Yeah...let's get him to the supermarket tomorrow", Saiki's father says as he agrees to his wife.
It was then silent. The students were left dumbfounded as they continue to ponder about the scene. Finally sorting out their thoughts, everyone reached to one conclusion, 'His parents REALLY are so carefree'.
"You're a pyschic aren't you, Kuu?!", "He takes after you because you're a magician".
'They're super happy-go-lucky and stupid lovebirds. So they accepted the situation, no questions asked', Saiki says as it suddenly shows baby-Saiki showing a realistic drawing of his father. Of course, made by him.
'Woah'
'Later on, I'll ask him to draw me too'
'That's so cool!'
'So talented... I'll later ask him to join our club'
As Saiki heard their thoughts, he then sighed. 'Good grief... My peaceful life now comes to an end. Curse this person for making them watch my life'.
As he was busy thinking, he didn't notice his friends subtly looking at him.
'As time passed, the boy-that is, me-is now a high school student'.
'As you saw earlier, I still have my psychic powers. I can bend spoons without touching them. Win or lose, it's my choice to make. My life is like a dream come true'.
"It really does look like it", someone murmured in agreement, they wished they also had super powers.
'If that's what you think, then you're wrong!', Saiki arguably says.
'Huh?'
'What??'
'Wha-why?'
'Why would he think that?'
'They seriously don't know the setbacks on having my power', Saiki thought disappointedly.
Saiki then noticed his friends occasionally looking at him. It made him curious, but he decided to ignore it and focused back to the show.
'Bending spoons? That only makes it hard to eat curry rice! Getting free popsicles at will? That just leads to stomach problems. The happiest man in the world, who was born with everything you say? Don't make me laugh'.
'I'm the unhappiest man in the world, who has had everything taken from me. Telepathy, Psychokinesis, X-ray vision, Precognition, Teleportation, Clairvoyance, etc. I can do most of these things'.
'However, being given something also means having something taken away. When a dog is always given food, his ability to obtain food is taken from him. When a child is spoiled and given anything he wants, his potential independence is lost'.
"I guess that does makes sense", a student from class 3-B said, dissapointed.
'Similarly, a lot of things have been taken from me. Feeling a sense of achievement, or being surprised by a surprise party...these are things I cannot experience'.
Many were surprised by this as they looked at Saiki with pity. If you really thought about it, his powers wasn't worth having, if you couldn't enjoy the thrill of life has given us.
'Ahh, so that's why his face, always looks blank'
'Man, that's so uncool'
'It's true there's no anger or sadness, but that also means no joy or fun. That's my life'.
Many felt awkward as they heard Saiki's inner monologue. It really does make the others who wished they had his life regret ever thinking about it.
"O-oh"
"Hmm.."
"Cough...Cough"
Almost everyone said as they avoided Saiki's line of sight.
'I hope you don't find your life unsatisfying now, Saiki', Yumehara thought as she felt awkward on her seat.
'Umm, now that were here, i hope you're now having fun with us around Saiki', Teruhashi thought.
'After this, i'll try to gather our friends together to hang out and have fun', Kaidou determinedly thought.
'I guess i have to make preparations for another trip together with the plebs', Saiko thought as he looked on the ground.
Saiki felt touched as he heard them worry for him. Though there's not much difference, he's mouth twitched a little.
'That being said, I don't really have anything to complain about, and a peaceful life isn't all that bad'.
Many let out sighs of relief as they heard him.
"What's taking Kusuo so long?", another voice thought. Saiki of course sensed it and then looked at his father. He was sitting outside the house, waiting.
"Why is he outside?", Takahashi asked the question everyone thought.
His father also sensed Saiki and then quickly welcomed him. "Welcome home Kusuo! You're late".
'What's dad doing in front of the house?', Saiki asking the question everyone thought.
Many were amused as Takahashi also asked the same question.
"I'll get straight to it Kusuo. Could you unlock the door? I couldn't get in", while he was talking Saiki then stared at him, eyes full of judgement.'Good grief. Again?'.
"What? Again?!", Toritsuka exclaimed as he looked at Saiki for confirmation.
Saiki nodded as he sighed again, he remembered his dad exactly doing that in the past. 'Well, he still might be doing that today but let's not think about it'.
The screen then shows Saiki using his powers to unlock the door. "Just what you'd expect from a psychic! That's very sneaky!", his dad exclaimed in relief. 'Don't call it "sneaky"'.
Muffled laughter was then heard as they watched the father and son bicker.
"Kusuo... Don't you think that there are other, better uses of that power?". 'Keep those thoughts to yourself'.
Most of them now were blatantly laughing at the ridiculous situation screen-Saiki found himself in.
"You really don't take shit, huh, Saiki?", Mikoto said as she giggled.
"You're back, Kuu?", a distinctly female voice said that then attracted his dad. "We'll discuss it later, Kusuo!", he said as he ran back inside the house.
'Come to think of it, there is one non-peaceful thing', Saiki then narrates as he looked inside the house. 'That being my parent's relationship'.
Many gasped in surprise. The loudest though were from his friends. They couldn't believe it, they tried to remember their memories of his parents. They always seemed to get along well enough to not fight.
'Good grief, this was before they came back to their lovey-dovey selves', Saiki said as he looked at them with resigned exasperation.
"Ohhh", many uttered as they sheepishly went back to focus on the screen.
We can now see his parents fighting inside. "You changed the lock again!".
"Welcome home, Kuu! We're having pork cutlet for dinner tonight", his mother said as she ignored her husband.
Now that Kuboyasu wasn't distracted, he noticed his mother calling him 'Kuu'. Is this what a normal loving parent would say to their child?
"Wait, now you're choosing to ignore me? And besides, I told you i wanted to have steak tonight", Saiki's father angrily exclaimed.
"I'm sorry i forgot, but i can boil you some leather shoe", his mother countered back.
"Shoe?"
"Boil what?"
"Why would she boil it? Would his father eat it?"
"Eww, horrible thoughts"
"I don't want a shoe, leather or not"
"Seriously, who would?", someone at the back muttered.
'I wonder what went wrong for them. They used to be so passionate', Saiki narrates as the screen shows scenes of what his parents used to be like, being lovey-dovey to now.
'Well, they're still passionate, but it's a little different'.
'I wonder what happened to them...', Touma thought as he remembered Saiki's parents relationship in the past.
"Well, they certainly are passionate", Saiko whispered under his breath as he waited for the next scene to play.
"Let's then play the next one", Teruhashi informed them as she began to play it.