a hollow perception (Fate/Zero × Demon Slayer)

third: the significance of meaninglessness

I may or may not have been making some shit up and probably bullshitting some elements regarding some certain things in Nasuverse but I hope you'll forgive me for that. Or beat me up, or yell at me I guess. And also, this chapter got lots of dialogues, in other words, info dump.

Expect some one or two familiar faces from Demon Slayers/Kimetsu no Yaiba here in this chapter.

This is the longest chapter in this fic. Enjoy!

...

third: the significance of meaninglessness

...

"Her examination has been halted?" Kirei said in surprise when his master told him what had Tsuyuri Kanao reported to him. After Rin gave him an 'advice' to be a 'good friend' earlier, Kirei went to his master's study as per routine told him that whenever Kanao was done with her report, he will go to his master's side to hear what she had stated.

"Yes. I also received a letter from the Mage's Association." His master presented the letter to him. As Kirei began to read it, his master continued, "It doesn't seem the case they were done examining her, someone requested to halt it for the time being which is quite strange."

"A Lord requested to stop her examination?" Kirei said. It was indeed strange.

"A Lord of Clock Tower did, as you have read the letter," Tohsaka Tokiomi agreed and took the letter from Kirei to re-read it. "It's quite strange, why would a Lord requested it? Compassion? Sympathy? Pity?"

"Or perhaps, with an agenda regarding about her?"

"That is also possible." His master stared at the letter quietly.

"This Lord, if I may ask," Kirei asked after a moment of silence, "does this Lord stated in the letter who requested to halt her examination—is he a man of hidden intentions?"

"Every mage always have motive," his master refuted, "especially in Clock Tower. Have I told you it was common to have an internal fighting between mages?"

"You've told me, master, that it was common for master and apprentice to have an enmity between them. Isn't that our plan when my Command Seals will allegedly appear months later and I will break my apprenticeship from you?"

His master smiled approvingly. "It is. Regarding our plan for you to leave me, I'll tell you another time." He returned his attention to the letter. "A man of hidden intentions...? I'm not quite sure. From time to time, there are rare exceptions that, perhaps this man—this particular Lord—who requested halting her examination was doing this for Kanao's sake. She told me she may have met this man before the sudden call to stop her examination."

"She did?"

"She thought so. To be accurate, she met two men before the sudden call. Both of them never introduced themselves, they simply talked with her. The first visitor, she'd told me, was a handsome young man. A bit unnerving man, she said, but she answered every question he had enquired from her." And then Tohsaka Tokiomi paused.

"What kind of question did he ask?" Kirei asked eventually, when his master went silent for a long time with a contemplated look on his face.

"Her connection to the organization," Tohsaka Tokiomi finally replied. "He asked the same questions that was asked to her before and she replied the same answers to him. Though, I have a feeling Kanao wasn't exactly being truthful about it," his master added skeptically.

"You mean their conversation between her and this man?"

"That's right. And as for the other visitor..." his master's word trailed off, and then he murmured silently, "It can't be possibly him..."

"Who, master?" Kirei asked.

"No, that's impossible. But then again..." Tohsaka Tokiomi stopped his murmurs and turn his attention to him, "No, never mind that. I might be wrong. This other visitor didn't introduce himself. Kanao described him to be an old man with strong presence. She said her conversation with him was... very casual, at least in the beginning. Kanao had a feeling that he was trying to ease her a bit with his presence, telling her that he was no threat. And she did, eventually, after an hour of conversation.

"And then Kanao told me he suddenly asked her a strange question, 'are you aware of your presence and how things would change if you and others continue to interfere with the matters that you shouldn't have a hand on?' And she replied she had no idea what he was talking about. He immediately changed the subject about her eyes after that."

"Was that man happen to talk about the organization and her connection to it...?" Kirei pondered.

"It's possible," his master replied. "He talked as if he knew the intention of the organization."

"Is it possible that this man is the one who halted her examination...?"

"Hmm..." Tohsaka Tokiomi crossed his arms. "No. No, I don't think so. The more I repeat what this man told Kanao, the more I get the idea that I must've known this old man who visited her. Not directly, of course; I've only heard about him. But to think he would appear before Kanao... that's quite strange..."

"...who, master?"

The creased on his master's brow smoothened as his thoughtful expression was replaced with rightful superiority. "If this old man's identity is what I've thought of, then I suppose it doesn't hurt to tell you my ancestor's mentor. His name Zelretch. Kishur Zelretch Schweinorg, and the user of Second Magic."

"Magic..." Kirei was surprised. He didn't know that the name Tohsaka was under the apprenticeship of a Magic user. The silent arrogance of Tohsaka Tokiomi suddenly made sense to him. "If my master's ancestor is under this man, then perhaps you are following the will of Zelretch as an obligation...?" But Kirei wasn't confident at this statement.

"The will of Zelretch?" His master looked astonished. "The means of reaching the Root using the Holy Grail is not necessarily by his will. Every mage is obligated to reach the Root. I won't say for everyone but it is every mage's reason of existence — to reach it in any means necessary."

"My apologies, master." These words came out before Kirei could stop it. He can't help it. "But can I ask, master, something I'm wondering about? This Root that you and father told me, was reaching it truly the goal of every mage? What happens if they reach it?" Kirei had no interest in this kind of matter, if he had to be honest. But this kind of information might be useful in the future.

"Reaching the Root is truly in every mage's purpose. But as a goal? No, not really. We, mages, are compelled to reach it. But if we did truly reach it, then we'd proudly present it that we truly did open a path to the Root."

Kirei was confused. "But never grasping the Root itself?" he asked incredulously.

Tohsaka Tokiomi smiled dryly. "It must be quite strange to you, isn't it? You've probably thought of our endeavors as meaningless and insignificant. But to us, it's important. Every mages thinks so."

"...I did. I'm sorry if I have offended you with my thoughts, master." Kirei bowed in apology. I hated all the things I had toiled for under the sun, because I must leave them to the one who comes after me, he suddenly remembered certain verses from the Bible. And who knows whether he will be a wise man or a fool? Yet he will have control over all the work into which I have poured my effort and skill under the sun. This too is meaningless. Kirei closed his eyes. Ecclesiastes 2:18-19. To think he would remember that, he thought. And then he recalled... "Master, you said this old man changed the subject about her eyes during their conversation...?"

"Ah," Tohsaka Tokiomi said. "Her eyes, yes, he did talk about it. Kanao told me that before she was visited with these men and her sudden call to halt her examination, her eyes was declared to be a Mystic Eyes when they discovered she had magic circuits around her eyes, not simply because she had a photographic memory."

"A Mystic Eyes..." Kirei murmured. He wasn't surprised. If they declared her strange, striking eyes to be one, then it makes sense.

"Yes; Mystic Eyes of Hollow Perception, as they'd called it. I recalled it to be a rare and dangerous type of Mystic Eyes, one that might lead into insanity if one should possess it. Mystic Eyes of Death Perception is another type of rare — even rarer — and dangerous, but Hollow Perception barely reached that level."

"What danger does Hollow Perception poses to its user?" Kirei asked. He knew what Death Perception works, with the implication already in its name. But with Hollow Perception—he had no idea.

"Lunacy was the common consequences, but that's an understatement. Hollow Perception, as I remember, was a Mystic Eyes that 'captures' information—materialistic, anything. It gathers continuous streams of data whenever the Mystic Eyes gazes on something, no matter how small or big, visible or invisible, that it 'captures'. It memorizes everything." His master smiled in slight amusement. "Kanao got lucky. If it wasn't for her rare elemental affinity, she would have gotten insane long ago."

"Rare... you mean she has the affinity to one of the Imaginary Element?"

His master smiled proudly. "Correct. I'm glad you remembered what I'd taught you. Between Hollow and Void, she got the former. Hollow Element, also called as Imaginary Numbers, is indeed a rare element to have an affinity with. I've told you that lunacy or insanity was the consequences of possessing these eyes—that's because these people doesn't have an affinity of either Imaginary Element. A single brain doesn't have the capacity to store that much information—that's why people who possess Mystic Eyes of Hollow Perception goes insane. Some may even kill themselves."

"Hollow Perception..." Kirei pondered the name. "If Kanao has the affinity to Hollow Element, then that means she had access to Imaginary Number Space, the Void Sea." When his master stayed silent, Kirei continued his analysis. "Hollow — for the affinity to the Hollow Element. And Perception... Master, is the reason why it was called Hollow Perception because whenever what the Mystic Eyes 'captures' and perceives it, it is stored into the Imaginary Number Space? And that's why Kanao haven't gone insane despite her possessing it?"

Tohsaka Tokiomi smiled approvingly. "Great analysis, Kirei. You're right—that's the reason why it was called. Allegedly, some records says the truest form of this Mystic Eyes existed during the Age of Gods, with some claiming the Primordial Goddess of Night, Nyx, possessed such Mystic Eyes, dating it back beyond the Age of Gods, while others say some Gods and Goddesses of Knowledge also possessed it."

Kirei soaked in the information told by his master as best as he could, hiding his astonishment that Tsuyuri Kanao possessed such Mystic Eyes, but then he noticed... "The truest form of Mystic Eyes...?"

"The truest form of Mystic Eyes of Hollow Perception," his master emphasized. "I don't know the whole details myself, but apparently, 'Hollow Perception' was just its widely accepted name. There are many... well, least to say, obscured records that it wasn't an ordinary Eyes but not necessarily special. Although, it was eventually declared to be one since it was qualifying similar by the Association."

"I see," Kirei said. If he had to be quite honest, he had no interest about the Mystic Eyes itself. But strangely, when it comes Kanao, he... Kirei inaudibly sighed. "So Kanao was simply lucky to have the right affinity for the Mystic Eyes," he remarked instead.

"They say even the most intelligent human beings go insane because they can't handle the burden of it," his master remarked, "Anyways, this old man—or Zelretch—and Kanao did talk about her eyes, and asked her whether she liked having that eyes or not. She told him it doesn't matter if she liked her eyes or not. Since she possessed it now, she had no choice but to accept it. He left after that."

They both fell into silence, until Kirei asked, "Wait, master, you said this old man she met might be the same person who taught your ancestor, how is that possible...?"

"Ah, I forgot to mention that," Tohsaka Tokiomi chuckled. "Magic Users are known to have long lives. Perhaps it's a side-effect when reaching the Root."

Kirei didn't ask regarding about the Root anymore. Besides, mages and their purpose was too appalling for him to understand. "Did Kanao told you about her Command Seals, master?" he asked.

"She did." Tohsaka Tokiomi sighed. "Quite a shame really. She would prove to be useful, especially with that eyes of hers. But at the same time, I'm glad for her. It took me to realize this but she doesn't seem keen being included in this war. I suppose I can't blame her. This is a death match, a battle royal between mages. Under certain circumstances, she might end up dead at the conclusion of the war."

"I see." Tsuyuri Kanao does hadn't been quite keen at the idea. Even his dreams about her told him so. She won't bear the markings that would incite her death, he recalled her—no, it pointed out to him before.

"Since her examination has been halted and she would be no longer going to her 'trips', I suggest to use your time wisely, Kirei," Tohsaka Tokiomi advised. Kirei nodded in compliance, knowing what his master meant.

"I will, master," he said. But then, unconsciously, he asked thoughtfully, "But... for Kanao to have such eyes — it can't be possibly something that would be suddenly possessed by other people, doesn't it?" Kirei thought it to be a strange phenomenon for Tsuyuri Kanao, who seemingly had no background that could've justified her possession of a Mystic Eyes.

"It doesn't," his master agreed. "It's possible that her family might have been subjected into some kind of practice, or they'd subjected themselves to have a 'successful' offspring. According to my investigation, her family was quite bountiful until, as the report said, they were killed..." his master's face twisted uncomfortably as his words ended in a trail.

"Master...?" Kirei called out at the sudden silence.

"It was a complete massacre," Tohsaka Tokiomi continued as if he doesn't hear him. "Her family was annihilated that it was a miracle that a girl was able to survive. A survivor who now called herself as Tsuyuri Kanao. And..." his master paused for a while before he continued, "And according to the report, it was either an Enforcer or Executor who slaughtered her family."

'I see' would have been an appropriate response to his master's words, but Kirei can't even force it out. His body was stiff and his mind was frozen for some reason. Suddenly, certain words rang in his mind, do you have something against the Enforcers, master? Kirei remembered asking his master. Not really. I'm just being cautious about them. Tohsaka Tokiomi had replied to him, strangely solemn, smiling sadly—no, ironically filled with forlorn.

Is there something that can't never wear her down? Kirei found himself thinking. After a while of discussion with his master, he was dismissed.

...

The sight of Kanao wearing a huge-rimmed glasses that almost covers the upper half of her face surprised him the next day. Tohsaka Rin was no better, who openly gaped at her new appearance (even though she only added wearing glasses) with ill-disguised bewilderment.

"Wha... wha... wha..." Rin stammered as she gingerly approached Kanao. "W-what happened, Kanao? Why are you wearing that? Is something wrong with your eyes?" she asked worriedly.

"Don't worry, Rin, there is nothing wrong with my eyes," Kanao assured. "It's in perfect condition in fact. I'm just... self-conscious of my eyes, that's all."

"Oh," Rin sighed in relief. "Thank goodness. But... why are you self-conscious of your eyes? I think they're very pretty."

"Thank you, Rin."

Rin smiled widely at her. "I heard about it, Kanao, you're no longer going back to London for an entire year."

"Yes, but it's only for the time being." Kanao nodded. "My... 'trip' is not done..."

"I wish you won't be going back to your 'trips' again."

"I'm sure that will happen eventually."

"So," Rin crossed her arms and shot him a glare. "What are you doing here, Kirei?"

The three of them was sitting on a bench, in a single lone bench in the garden in actuality, and Rin was disgruntled he was also sitting with them. Although, Kirei did gave them some space, sitting at the other end of the bench. "Sitting under the shade of apple tree in the garden," he replied flatly. He recently found out that the tree in the garden was actually an apple tree. "Sitting with you," he added with a small, subtle smile.

Rin looked at him dubiously. Kanao seemed to notice his teasing demeanor. "Please, don't tease Rin, Kirei-san." Though, the way she said it was not a slightest bit reprimanding.

"He did?!" Rin gasped, and she turned to him. "You did?! Geez, why do you keep teasing me in every opportunity you see?"

"He does?" Kanao asked curiously.

"He does." Rin returned her attention to Kanao, pouting indignantly. "Tell him, Kanao, tell him to stop teasing me like I'm still a big baby that can be easily tricked."

Kanao raised her eyes to him, and for some reason, he was slightly disappointed that the striking color he was so used to see from her eyes was covered by the huge-rimmed glasses, making it look faded. "Please, don't tease Rin, Kirei-san," she repeated promptly what she'd told him earlier.

Rin looked at him expectedly. "I will," he replied.

"That wasn't a slightest bit genuine," Rin observed sharply.

Kirei looked at her directly in the eyes. "I won't tease you, Rin."

"...fine," Rin accepted. "I'll see to that. If you have no business here other than tease me, you can go away."

"I have actually," said Kirei, "I was planning to talk with Kanao until you arrived and snatched her away from me." 'Snatched' was an overstatement, but he and Kanao was planning to talk when they caught each other's eyes until Rin's bewilderment distracted Kanao from him.

"Really?" Rin turned to Kanao for affirmation.

"Well... Kirei-san and I did plan to talk but you approached me first," she said neutrally.

"That's actually your fault, you big idiot," Rin told him. "First come, first served — I think I heard that before, but! If you wanted to talk with her first, approached her before I could." She looked at him challengingly.

Kirei stared at her. Since when did this turn into a contest? he thought.

"Umm," Kanao's voice made both of them broke each other's eyes and look at her. "What is it you want to talk about, Rin?"

"Oh, that's right." Rin's eyes lit up, forgetting about Kirei's presence beside her. "We will go to the shopping district this afternoon."

"Huh?" Kanao blinked in bewilderment. "'We'? You'll be coming with me?"

"I am, but don't worry! I received Father's permission to accompany you!" The girl huffed proudly.

Kanao seemed pensive. "Your Father doesn't usually agree of you coming with me," she remarked.

"Doesn't it?" Rin agreed, sighing. "Well, to be honest, I can see why, but..." she suddenly paused. "Ah, Kanao, don't tell me you don't want me to..."

"I'll be happy if you come with me," Kanao briskly told her. "More people means it would be easier to shop," she reasoned.

"Yay! Thank you, Kanao!" the girl cheered.

"If it is more people you want, would you like me to help?" Kirei suggested politely, as he respectfully joined in their conversation.

Tohsaka Rin's expression immediately shifted into irritation. "Kanao is more than enough. We don't need any more unnecessary hands."

In the corner of his eyes, Kanao blinked confusingly as if baffled at the sudden change of Rin's behavior. "Understood. If you need help, I'll be happy to oblige," he offered dryly.

Rin doesn't answer his words, instead she crossed her arms and looked at him sharply. "And? What is it that you wanted to talk about with her?"

"My apologies if this may offend you, Rin," he politely told her, "but it is a matter that should be exchanged only between us." In all honesty, Kirei wouldn't have minded if they talked here with Rin listening to them. But strangely, he preferred to be alone with Kanao if it was their usual talks of meaningless topics.

"Is it important?" asked Rin.

"Not necessarily."

"Is it private?"

"Perhaps."

"So you're just going to waste her time?"

Stubborn little girl. "I'm afraid a conversation between adults won't be easily understood by someone with young age like yours, Rin," he said patiently as he could. However, Rin looked insulted which he had expected.

"That's just your way of telling me that I'm immature, aren't you?" She scowled.

"Or so how you've heard it," Kirei said vaguely. "Don't worry. You'll grow up eventually to understand."

Rin harrumphed and looked away from him.

"...I'm afraid I'll be going back to work," Kanao announced as she stood up, "If you have plans to talk with me, please do it in my spare time," she told them as she bowed in courtesy and left them on the bench.

Rin and Kirei fell into an unexpected silence as they watched her leave.

"Doing a great job being a good friend?" Rin asked impassively.

"I'm trying," he replied mildly.

"Good. You heard what we planned this afternoon, right?"

"I have ears."

"Fortunately. You better not interrupt us."

"Understood."

Another silence.

"You better keep your word to never tease me anymore," she said pointedly as she left him.

"I will." I would be compelled to do that if Kanao is around her.

...

In a twist of circumstances, Rin's plan didn't went smoothly as she thought. Kirei was slightly surprised when his master insisted to his daughter that Kirei should accompany them to the shopping district.

"Why? Me and Kanao should go there by ourselves, why does Kirei has to go with us?" Rin had asked her father indignantly. It was obvious she didn't expect it was Kirei, of all people, that her father suggested.

"Why not? Kirei had been a good apprentice to me, is it wrong for me to give him a reward?" Kirei raised an eyebrow to his master who only smiled knowingly at him, as if to tell him go along with my excuse. Kanao seemed to notice their exchanged glances, looking back and forth between them, as she sat beside Rin who was still pouting deeply.

"Don't worry, Rin. Kirei-san won't ruin our groceries," Kanao attempted to assure Rin, as if she had gotten the hint from the silent exchanges between him and his master.

"That's not what I mean..." Rin looked glumly at her, and then she sighed. "Fine. Kirei will accompany us but," Rin looked at Kirei straight in the eyes, "only as a chaperon."

"I'll try my best to be a good chaperon." Kirei bowed in response to her words.

The journey to the shopping district was unnervingly silent. Rin being in bad mood, Kanao being indifferent, and him dutifully following them behind. The little girl had told him he should change his usual black clothes and wear something casual for a change, and he conceded, wearing the casual clothes he could find in his wardrobe.

And now, carrying their shopping plastic bags at either of his hands, Kirei walked behind them as Rin dragged Kanao to whenever something caught her attention, looking through the glass at the shiny jewels displayed in the shop. He can hear Rin wanting to buy it but Kanao told her they don't have money to purchase it. The little girl shrugged and walked to him where he was sitting in a nearby bench.

"We're going home, Rin. We've bought enough," Kanao said patiently.

"Okay..." Rin pouted, seemingly not willing to accept her words, and they strolled away from the shopping district.

A reserved silence blanketed to the three of them. None of them raised their voice to each other. Kirei was quite fine with it. That is until—

"Rin, why are you so hostile to him?" Kirei heard Kanao's small whisper behind him, as he'd walked ahead of them and realizing that he'd gained a considerable gap between them.

"Kirei?" Rin whispered back. "I'm not... hostile to him."

"You are," Kanao pointed out. "It's obvious. I saw it."

"Your eyes is really amazing, isn't it, Kanao? If I had that, I would be able see what he's planning."

"Plan? To whom?"

"You! I'm talking about you!" There was a sharp gasp before Rin continued more silently, "I see it. He's planning something."

"Isn't it because your father told him to talk with me for information?" Kanao reasoned.

"Wha..." Rin's voice faltered. "What the...? Kirei confessed about that?"

"Right at the start."

"Really...? Wait, no, that's not what I mean. I mean, he's planning something other than that!" Rin inadvertently raised her voice and she doesn't seem to notice about it.

"And that's the reason why you're hostile to him?" Kanao asked.

"Um, well," Rin hesitated. "Yeah, probably."

"Probably...?"

"I'm not sure actually. I don't like him. I just don't really, really like him."

"Is it because he teased you before?"

"Ah—well—um... okay, maybe, but... To be honest, I may not like his teasing, but I found him really unnerving though. Didn't you told me before that Kirei was like a walking empty bottle half-filled? That confused me at first but when I thought about it, I think he's..." Rin's words trailed off into silence.

"I see. Rather than him having a plan, I think you have a plan regarding about him, isn't it?"

Rin was silent.

"I see it, Rin. I can see what you are intending. I do. But it's useless. It won't work. Although, I may not know how you'd act your plan against him but please, don't do it. Kirei-san is already a friend of mine, you don't have to drive him away from me."

Kirei strained his ears when he didn't caught what Rin murmured.

"...ah, so you told him that...?" Kanao chuckled lightly. "This may be not appropriate to say this right now but... thank you. When there was no one else, you and Sakura was my only friend." There was sadness in Kanao's voice. "Thank you... Rin."

After that, they strolled in the sidewalk in silence.

"Oh, I almost forgot," Rin's voice chimed in, "who was that who greeted you earlier?"

That question made Kirei bristled in attention. Someone recognized her in the shopping district? Since he had separated from them for a while, Kirei doesn't know what'd transpired.

"It was someone from the orphanage." A pause. "Someone who kept nagging me about my name, until she gave me one."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Her name is Kanzaki Aoi, and apparently, she worked as a housemaid around the same area in your residence, Rin."

"That's got to be an amazing coincidence." Rin sounded impressed. "Are you going to visit her?"

"In my spare time perhaps."

"You should! I mean, it's been a while you've met her, right?"

"I will. Eventually," Kanao told Rin lightly.

Even though Kirei's presence was unwelcomed and unexpected (in accordance to Rin), at least he gathered some piece of information of him being a chaperon to them.

...

"Ah, Kanao and Rin already told me about it," his master said dismissively when Kirei relayed the conversation that afternoon. The moonlight peeked through his master's study's window as he can see the twinkling stars above in the night sky.

"Oh." At least, he'd reported it.

"Kanao already asked me a permission to have a day-off for tomorrow," his master confided. "And I've permitted her. She's planning to visit this friend of hers."

"By herself?" Kirei asked.

"No." Tohsaka Tokiomi glanced up. "You'll be accompanying her."

"I thought Rin will do that?" Kirei assumed Rin would be also meeting this Kanzaki Aoi.

"Not now." His master shook his head. "In the future, maybe, but not now. Take a good look at them first, Kirei. I trust your judgement."

"Understood," Kirei complied. "Master, did she told you this person was the one who gave her the name Tsuyuri Kanao?"

Tohsaka Tokiomi frowned. "She didn't."

"She... didn't?" Kirei didn't expect that. "She didn't reported it to you earlier?" he asked. And on top of that, Rin didn't report it too? he thought.

"Kanao said she coincidentally met an old friend from the orphanage and she would planning to visit her tomorrow."

"Hmm." She must've thought it was unnecessary to tell him that, Kirei thought. "I'll be accompanying her tomorrow, master," he said instead.

"I'm counting on you."

Kirei left his master's study after he bowed in farewell.

When he was about to make his way to the front door to leave, a strange inclination possessed him and he strolled to the kitchens instead. As he sets his eyes to a certain spot, a strange satisfaction course through him when he saw Kanao sitting by the windows close to the kitchens and on her hands was a steaming cup of tea with her attention distracted outside the window, looking up at the stars above.

"Good evening." Kirei smiled when she snapped her attention to him, startled at his greeting.

"Good evening..." she replied weakly. Looking down at her hands, she raised the cup to him. "Tea?"

"If you please," he accepted.

Kanao disappeared to the kitchen, and moments later, she returned with a teapot on one hand and a steaming cup of tea to her other. "Here you go." She put down the tea to the table.

"Thank you," he said in gratitude. Kanao smiled and nodded.

They both sipped their tea at the same time, and Kirei was vaguely aware she didn't spat out her tea despite how hot and steamy it looks.

"I..." Kanao started as she put down her cup. "I won't waste time. You heard the conversation earlier, aren't you?" she asked bluntly.

Kirei immediately knew what she was talking about. "I did," he admitted.

"And you told your master about it?"

Kirei nodded.

"Including my planned visit tomorrow?"

"I do," he said. "And I'll be accompanying you," he reminded.

"Yeah... that too. I'm the one who suggested that to your master," she confessed.

"You did?" He didn't expect that. He'd thought it was his master who suggested it.

Kanao nodded.

Why...? he thought confusingly. Why him instead of Rin?

"I chose you over Rin," she told him as if to answer his thoughts. "Don't worry. I have no... ulterior motives for you. I just thought you would be appropriate."

"I see." Kirei accepted the reason but...

"And I'll make sure to be a good friend to you."

Kirei realized what Rin had murmured to Kanao earlier. "I should say the same to you."

"If you've heard our conversation, then you must've known that Rin and Sa—"she stopped herself, "Tohsaka Rin and Matou Sakura was my only friend. I have no one else in this household. Aoi-san and your master may not be against me but they are not my friend. Though, I won't deny I am indebted to them—I would have already died if it wasn't for them."

Kirei didn't respond, listening to her intently. At his open silence, she continued, "If possible... only if possible, I wish to be your friend, Kirei-san. Is that okay?" she asked, strangely earnest.

That statement made Kirei raised his eyebrows. "What if I'm a bad kind of friend?" he asked her instead.

"But a friend nonetheless," she countered.

"I would be a bad influence to you," he reasoned.

Kanao stared at him, piercing and seeing through him as if she was looking over his soul. After a while, she removed her huge-rimmed glasses and she closed her eyes. When she opened her eyes, her expression went blank and told him coldly, "You never felt happiness, felt joy, felt satisfaction, felt fulfilled. What kind of person are you — no, how have you been alive this long, walked this earth as if you existed when you, yourself, doesn't feel alive at all?"

Kirei stiffened. Did he heard that right? Did she just said those words to him? Why would she said those words...? He was vaguely aware he was looking at her with eyes wide in shock. But then, reasoning immediately possessed him and watched her with scrutinized eyes, wondering what'd infatuated her to say such words.

"That was fast," Kanao observed, as the light of her eyes returned. "But that was the most reactive response I've gotten from you since then."

"...what are you planning?" he asked eventually.

"I'm sorry, Kirei-san, for saying those words to you." She smiled apologetically, slipping her glasses on. "As I expected, you are a walking empty bottle only half-filled... I supposed you've heard that from Rin earlier, isn't it?"

And then suddenly, his father's words resurfaced involuntarily. You are longing something that even I or the Church that can't fulfill you no matter what we do. "What makes you think of that?" he asked cautiously.

She smiled faintly. "I'm sure you must've heard about my eyes — the Mystic Eyes of Hollow Perception. I told you before that I can see even the smallest things, of the smallest shift of things. You must've been aware of that — that I'm trying to gauge out your emotions through your expressions.

"My eyes does 'capture' information from what I see, but it doesn't give me knowledge. All I can do is interpret the information I've received, and I'm not mature enough to understand what I'd seen — the hints, subtle actions, ulterior motives. I may have perceived these things, but it doesn't mean I can comprehend what it means.

"What makes me think, you asked Kirei-san; what makes me think that you are a walking empty bottle only half-filled? It's because it's the closest interpretation I can think of you. I think you are like an empty bottle waiting to be filled, waiting to be satiated. But you didn't. You're like an unfinished product—a bottle with its tip unsealed without a cap on it, showing a gaping hole with its contents only half-full and half-empty. If you are the bottle, then the water... no, the wine... no... I think your own blood and sweat are its contents, and you, the bottle that was only half-filled, wanted more than that."

Kirei sat speechless, dumbfounded, yet amazed. "Who..." Who, he thought, does she think she is? How did that interpretation of hers sound so ridiculous, yet somehow make sense? How in a world she come up with that analogy of hers — a bottle of all things — to describe him and yet... it sounded so right to him? "What kind of person are you, Tsuyuri Kanao?" he asked, astounded.

Kanao smiled resignedly. "A girl who just happen to have this eyes." And she lightly sipped her tea, breaking eye contact from him.

Silence enveloped them. For some reason, Kirei had no appetite to drink his tea, just basking in the silence which was strangely comfortable for him.

"That... probably doesn't answer why I'd riled you earlier," Kanao continued after a moment. "Nor why I wanted to be a friend with you, but... for a while now, since your father told me about your circumstances... I've been wanting to tell you about this."

"...circumstances?" That word snapped Kirei out of his reverie.

She smiled apologetically once again. "About the person you recently lost — your wife, as I found out."

Was it sad? That you lost this someone? Kirei remembered Kanao asking him this question before but... was she really curious about that the whole time? Was it really a significant question and he doesn't know about it?

"When I'd asked you about it, it was only a meaningless question," she replied his thoughts. "A simple question meant to... rile you up. I was curious how you would react."

"But didn't you apologized about it?" Kirei recalled. "Didn't you already told me you just wanted to see my reaction? That it was a misunderstanding and how you've judged me horri..." his words trailed off as he remembered clearly.

That's right — that was the time when Kanao kept averting her eyes from him. And he'd asked her what she'd seen in him that made her uncomfortable. Kirei almost forgot about it — after all, it was almost two years ago. The first few days of their time together. Their conversation that was so distant and short, a far-cry of their conversation today; right here, right now.

When did it change? he wondered. When did it change between them?

"Were you thinking about... that conversation Kirei-san?"

Kanao's voice made him look up to her. Kirei watched her carefully. "What conversation?" he asked deliberately.

She blinked, frowning as if knowing his intention. "About me attempting to rile you up with a question about your wife, wondering if you cared."

"The reason that made you uncomfortable... it wasn't only to see if I cared, isn't it?"

"It isn't," she admitted.

"It was to see if I was a heartless person," he realized.

"It is," she confirmed. "Relating about your wife... you did care for her. Your time with her was fleeting yet significant, isn't it?" she remarked knowingly.

"It is." Kirei had expecting his chest would contract at the mention of his late wife but surprisingly, nothing came to him. But instead, something... he was feeling... something...

As if something heavy was lifted from him. As if something had gave him a way to breathe easily. As if something...

Just something that made him feel at ease.

"Regarding what I'd said to you earlier..." Kanao watched him carefully. "You tried to kill yourself, aren't you?"

He didn't respond.

Kanao looked at him almost disappointingly. "You would've denied those words, Kirei-san. Suicide is against your faith – you should have reprimanded me for insulting you. But you didn't. If only you refuted me like before when I accused you of being a thief, I wouldn't be..." her words gradually faltered, looking up to him reluctantly.

Kirei stared at her.

"What is it?" she asked eventually.

"Was it..." It took a second to gather his words. "Was it easy for you to see through me?"

"No," she confessed, "no, it wasn't, Kirei-san. Ever since..." she considered for a moment before she continued, "as far as I can remember, I see the world differently. I assumed others saw the same thing, but... they don't.

"It wasn't easy, Kirei-san, to 'see through you'. Of all the people I encountered, I received the least 'information' from you directly. It wasn't enough, I thought, it was inadequate. That's the reason why I keep asking you questions before, Kirei-san, I'm sure you've noticed that."

"I did," Kirei confirmed. "You... must have put a lot of thought about me, aren't you?"

"I always think," she told him simply.

Both of them fell silent as always.

"You're... not upset?" Kanao asked reluctantly.

"Why would I?" Kirei saw no reason to be upset at her. What she told him was just a simple fact.

"Most people would be upset being told what character they possess, whether they are aware of it or not — that's what my friend at Clock Tower said."

Her friend at Clock Tower? he thought, but he didn't point it out. "I am not upset," he told her.

"Oh." She sighed. "That's a relief."

Kirei wasn't aware he had lifted his hand to his chest until Kanao pointed out, "Is something wrong?"

"No," he said. "I'm just..." There's something strange happening within him, unspoken words didn't spill out from his mouth.

"Relieved?" she suggested.

"Am I?"

"...probably. You're more relaxed."

He considered her words before he dropped his hand from his chest. "Probably," he conceded, and he stood up. "As promised, I'll accompany you to your friend tomorrow."

"Thank you." She bowed in gratitude, and then she looked up to him. "I'll dress appropriately for a friend," she hinted.

"You should," he agreed as he complied. "I'll dress neatly also."

Kanao smiled. "See you tomorrow at the park after breakfast, Kirei-san."

He quickly noted the time and venue. "See you tomorrow, Kanao."

...

And tomorrow they did.

Kirei wore a casual attire he could find, much fancier than he wore yesterday — a pair of trousers and a dress shirt with a jacket over it, all colored in charcoal black. The collection of his wardrobe was all but dark colors. Kirei wondered if he should buying different colored clothes, but he denied the thought. Clothes are meant to cover the body of man and woman, not as a decoration. He's aware that others would thought otherwise, as fashionable suits and dresses and models who advertised it are commercial, but it's his opinion as a man of God. If it wasn't for the disobedience committed by Adam and Eve, clothes would had been meaningless.

Beside him, Kanao also cleaned up nicely. Kirei suspected that the pristine white dress she wore was something given or provided by Tohsaka Aoi. As far as he can remember, she always sported dark-colored clothes, whether it was long-sleeved blouses or long skirts, with her hair pulled up with the purple and pink one-winged butterfly-shaped ornament on her head. And now, as she walked beside him, only the upper-half of her hair was brought up and tied by the hair ornament in half-updo, with the rest flowing straightly to her mid-back. Her overall appearance evoked an image of innocence.

"You did dress up appropriately for a friend," Kirei had complimented her when they met at the park earlier.

"Thank you. And you did dress neatly also." She skimmed his appearance. "Including your hair."

Kirei had thanked her. He'd tied his hair back into a low ponytail since it'd gotten longer. He reminded himself that he should get a haircut at the end of the day.

"This friend of yours, Kanzaki Aoi," Kirei started, as he looked around the neighborhood. "She's a housemaid. Did she mention what residence she worked for?"

"She told me to search for the biggest house around here. She... didn't said... what family... she served for," she said hesitatingly.

Kirei looked at her searchingly. "You're not used to lying," he told her matter-of-factly.

She looked down guiltily.

He looked for the biggest house in the neighborhood, and in the corner of his eyes, Kirei saw a certain building in the distance. "Your friend said 'biggest', does that include 'tallest'?" he asked.

Kanao followed his gaze. "Possibly."

As they gazed in the same direction, they saw a tall building afar. Although, with the way it was positioned, being situated as if discreetly hiding among the trees, it was a strange sight that there would be a tall building towering over a forest. True, the Einzbern Castle in the same forest – but far from each other – might be huge and all, but to see a skyscraper-like building... here in the modest Fuyuki of all places... Kirei decided to erase his confusion for now, and walked with Kanao to that direction.

They silently walked for a considerable amount of time until they arrived, standing in front of a gate. As they stood there as if they were in a daze, looking at the strangely-placed barricade, Kirei's instincts was warning him.

Kirei trusted his instincts.

But unfortunately, since her eyes was not on him but on the gate, Kanao stepped forward towards the gate. He bristled. "Kanao," he called out, stopping her.

She turned her head, blinking. "Yes, Kirei-san?" she said, her finger hovering at the button beside the gate, which Kirei surmised was the doorbell.

"...what do you think?" he inquired knowingly, subtly suggesting what she had seen beyond the gate. If her Mystic Eyes perceived what he can't normally perceive, then she must've seen something that cause her to move forward, stepping towards the gate easily and lightly as if there was no threat.

Kanao trailed her eyes on him for a while before looking at the forest beyond the gate. "There's a Boundary Field past the gate... I think that tall building is simply an illusion. An illusionary Boundary Field."

"An illusion?" Kirei was surprised. She can easily see through that? And here with this distance? They were at least one or two hundred meters away from that skyscraper-like building. Normally, you can't see nor sense a Boundary Field unless you're inside of it. But with that Mystic Eyes of hers, with her heightened sight and perception, she was able to see it.

"It looks like a broken glass," she clarified. "No... I think it looks like a transparent glass that tries to fit in with the environment and conjure an image but fails. It's a weird sight." She paused. "No, I think it looks like a painting on glass that wasn't properly drawn—"

"It's a Boundary Field intended for blending around its surroundings," he said matter-of-factly, cutting her off. It would be dragging to listen if she tried to describe the 'right' interpretation of the Boundary Field while they just stand here in front the gate. "Is it harmful?" he asked, trusting her words.

"I don't know. I don't have heightened sense other than my eyes to guess if it was."

"Even with your Mystic Eyes?"

"If I don't know how the Boundary Field was created, I won't know."

So she concluded she will enter to know about the Boundary Field, huh? he thought, understanding why she went to press the button. Wordlessly, he walked to her so that they will enter the gate together.

"Besides," she added when he arrived beside her, "this is where my friend works as a housemaid."

"That's true," he agreed.

And the gate opened by itself after Kanao pressed the button.

They didn't look back when the gate closed behind them. Since they knew about the Boundary Field, which they will eventually meet ahead, they expected there would be some kind of magecraft involved at this point. Kirei put up his guard and Kanao does the same, and they walked silently as they can, looking carefully at their surroundings.

After a minute of walk, Kirei felt it, his body reacting at the unfamiliar Boundary Field. He can finally sense them, dense and concentrated of it, layer after layer. He can recognize an illusionary one, as Kanao said earlier, along with multiple protective Bounded Fields. Kirei assumed the mage who put them up must be quite cautious and meticulous. A thief would be careless to approach this building, he surveyed. But then suddenly, a thought came to him.

Why go all through the trouble creating an illusion of skyscraper-like building? It would be counterproductive create one in the first place. If the intention of the illusion is to be overlooked, the effect is not working. Rather, it would only entice unwelcome guests.

Speaking of the building, they finally caught the glimpse of it. As expected, it didn't reflect what they had seen earlier when they were at the gate.

It was a building — it was no longer the building they saw, it was a traditional Japanese house. Without any special properties nor unusual appearance, it was just a mediocre normal house, a building you can expect to see in the suburbs.

"Good morning," a voice greeted them.

In the corner of his eyes, Kanao beside him went still. Her eyes was wide in shock when Kirei turned to look at her before he returned his attention to the woman who was standing in front of the house. He bristled when he realized the source of the Bounded Fields came from her... and other than that, he noticed.

Yes, he noticed.

He noticed a very familiar ornament as if it was seemingly alive on her hair.

It was a butterfly hair ornament... but only a single purple wing.

The woman smiled. "I am Kōcho Shinobu, head of the Butterfly Mansion. Nice to meet you."

...

Kirei wondered if they had walked into a trap. A trap laid by the woman, Kōcho Shinobu—who served them tea since they'd been invited inside the mansion as they're now lodging in the spacious living room, sitting on a tatami—using Kanao's friend, Kanzaki Aoi. But he backtracked and thought it doesn't make sense. If Kōcho Shinobu was the one who put up Bounded Fields as if to hide herself, why would she visibly greet them, leaving herself in the open as though she'd been expecting them? Was this Kanzaki Aoi in cohorts with this woman in order to lure them in?

Or perhaps... they were related to the organization that Kanao was connected with?

The look on Kanao's face earlier wasn't just a pure, primitive astonishment; there was also a look of recognition. Kirei might not have the same eyes as hers, but he knew what he saw on her expression. Kanao knew who this woman, he scrutinized, and they weren't strangers at all. After all, as he and Kanao sat side-by-side, Kirei saw her kept following the movements of Kōcho Shinobu with a longing, distant look.

After a while, another woman arrived to greet them. Or least to say, Kirei thought was greeting them. Kanao murmured a name, and he realized she was Kanzaki Aoi, Kanao's friend from the orphanage.

Kanzaki Aoi's disposition wasn't something he'd expected. He thought that, for someone to befriend Kanao, Kanzaki Aoi would a person with a personality contrasting Tsuyuri Kanao, not someone who wore a perpetual frown. Kanzaki greeted them almost pessimistically, and asked for her friend to come with her. Kanao naturally complied, and followed after her as the door slid close behind her.

And now, Kirei was left alone with Kōcho Shinobu.

"Let me be frank with you," Kōcho started, as soon as Kanao and Kanzaki's footsteps faded, "what's your relationship with Tsuyuri Kanao?"

"Despite never introducing ourselves, you knew her?" Kirei said steadily.

She chuckled, her purple eyes flickering despite hollowness on it. "As expected from the Church. It was easy to see through me, isn't it?" she said smilingly.

Kirei firmly put up his guard. "For someone who knows the nature of the Church, I guess, as expected from a mage like yourself?" he shot back, never faltering.

"A mage?" She looked amused. "Maybe I am. Does someone who knows magecraft makes you a mage automatically? Or perhaps I'm part of the unconventional category?"

"Unconventional you may be, but at the end of the day, you are still a mage."

"Thanks for the information, priest. That was quite helpful."

"You're welcome," Kirei replied to her sarcastic remark. "Let me be the one to be frank with you—why did you invite Tsuyuri Kanao here?"

"Before I answer that question, perhaps could you answer my question earlier?" she told him. "If you didn't caught it for the first time, then let me repeat it once more." Her smile dropped. "What's your relationship with Tsuyuri Kanao?"

Kirei considered her words. Not strangers at all. "In what stance are you asking?" he asked keenly.

"Stance? You mean, my position why I'm asking this?" Kōcho hummed thoughtfully. "I'm doing it... as a friend, perhaps?" she said almost teasingly.

"I see." That's as close I can get that she was one of the woman who took Tsuyuri Kanao from the orphanage. "My relationship with her is being a good friend."

Kōcho stared at him searchingly. "You're quite a rigid man, aren't you?" she remarked.

"...what does that something to do—"

"Nothing," she said briskly. "Nothing significant. Just an observation."

He narrowed his eyes, and he demanded, "Now answer my question."

She smiled. "Before we get into it, how about drinking the tea first?" Kōcho gestured at the cup of tea she served earlier. Kirei hadn't took a single sip from it.

"No, thank you," he refused politely.

"I—"she made eye contact with him, "Kōcho Shinobu, insist."

They stared at each other, eye to eye. Kirei found himself drawn to her eyes with a strange sensation spreading in his head, tugging and pulling as if there was a string within him. He can feel something akin to seductiveness but not necessarily arousing. As if trying to tease him, controlling and guiding, words echoed in his head. Drink, drink, drink, drink, it told him in soothing voice, lulling him into complying.

Realizing what was going with him, he closed his eyes and looked away, breaking eye contact. "Using hypnosis to a guest just to drink their tea—what are you planning?" he said accusingly.

"That was just a plain old suggestion, priest. I did suggest you to drink the tea," she replied with a shrug.

Kirei glanced down at the table. "If you are forcing me to drink that, who knows what kind of tampering you did to the tea."

"Excellent intuition, priest. If you are wondering it's poisonous, it's not—even though it is my specialty."

Kirei was getting tired of this farce. "Now it's time to answer the question, woman."

"Alright, alright," she conceded. "Before we get into it—yes, yes, I know. I won't use anymore suggestion on you," she quickly added when he shot her a look. "But... I'm sure you got more questions than that, right? For example... why Tsuyuri Kanao got that eyes of hers?"

"What are you on to?" he asked suspiciously.

"Since suggestion and the tea didn't work," she told him. "How about we trade information, Kotomine Kirei?"

He bristled.

"Make sure to drink the tea to replenish yourself in case you got thirsty," she suggested, smiling sweetly.

Kirei didn't touch tea throughout their conversation.

...

Before the time strikes twelve o'clock in the afternoon, Kirei and Kanao left the mansion. Kōcho Shinobu had told them a condition the moment they get out of the house that they should never look back until they arrived at the gate.

"If you look back, you'll turn into a pile of salt," Kōcho had told them smilingly, but Kirei had a feeling it was aimed to him—knowing it meant—since Kanao blinked in confusion before nodding in compliance.

As the noise of the gate clanged to close, both of them promptly looked back. A metal gate barricading a forest. That's what the outer appearance they saw. And in the distance, a skyscraper-like building peeked out among the trees—the building they'd seen earlier before they entered. So that's what the illusionary Bounded Field's purpose, Kirei realized. Others would assume there was a large house beyond the forest and would foolishly attempt to sneak in for a look. A deliberate lure to gather people, as Kōcho had admitted to him earlier in their conversation, to extract information what'd happened to the outside world.

Moments later, after they walked basked in silence, Kirei and Kanao sat in a bench at the park. Both of them had no appetite to eat and fill their stomach, they both silently agreed they should gather their own thoughts what'd transpired at the Butterfly Mansion. And Kanao, in particular beside him, was in a deep daze and her eyes looked hollow as if her mind went somewhere else other than this park.

As for him... Kirei received quite an abundant amount of information. Most are quite significant for his master. Even at some point, Kirei was suspicious at the pile of information, wondering if Kōcho had some kind of ulterior motive.

"I don't care about that," Kōcho had told him flatly when he bluntly voiced his thoughts. "It's up to you whether you want to relay what I told you or not." When he asked her why, she replied, "Tell... whoever you wanted to tell the info and say Ubuyashiki Family sends their regards. If it happened to be a Tohsaka head," she added, "tell him, 'The Ubuyashiki Family will always remember your consideration.' That should give him an idea."

A yakuza family? he wondered when he was told of those words. This 'Ubuyashiki Family' seemed to have some kind of influence, possibly in the entire Fuyuki, even, if Kirei took Kōcho's words into consideration, the Tohsaka Family seemed to be familiar with this family.

If, in some way, the Ubuyashiki Family is connected to the organization that Kanao told them, then... The circumstances would be ironic and comical. If Tohsaka and Ubuyashiki is connected, then the organization that the Ubuyashiki implied to have had created that Kanao was connected with, and Tohsaka Tokiomi, who took in Tsuyuri Kanao under his wing and the current head of Tohsaka Family, has no idea that all of this was happening under his nose.

The Tohsaka's ignorance was the Ubuyashiki's to lead and create an organization to fight an alleged creatures of the night... or so they thought. Or maybe, Kirei thought as he realized, they were joint families, partners even. But with his master, Tohsaka Tokiomi's haughty disposition, Kirei denied the thought immediately. Of all the trading information with Kōcho, he received the least about it.

"You must've been wondering, aren't you, Kirei-san?" Kanao started, her gaze locked at the laughing children at the playground. "Why I seem to know the woman who was the head of Butterfly Mansion?"

Kirei won't deny that. He did wonder, but pursuing any further seemed unnecessary at this point, especially Kōcho seemed to hint of their strange connection to each other despite her smoothly being evasive about it. "It doesn't matter now," he said truthfully. Even though they talked for a while after he and Kōcho had their 'information trading', he wasn't simply interested about it.

"It is," she refuted. "You have to tell your master about what happened."

"I am," he confessed. "It is my responsibility as my master's apprentice."

"Then why it doesn't matter...?"

"Your familiarity with her doesn't matter, and the fact Kōcho Shinobu seemed to admit her connection with you is already more than enough." Kirei decided to tell her.

"Eh?" She blinked. "She... she admitted...?"

He nodded. "That's why it doesn't matter now."

"Oh." She looked slightly bewildered. "Why would she... never mind. I guess she told you everything."

"Not everything," he assumed.

"I see." She looked down pensively. And then, there was silence.

It was a familiar silence, no longer oppressive nor apprehensive. It was just a simple silence surrounding muted loudness they filtered out in their ears as they both lost themselves in solitude. Kirei glanced at Kanao without moving his head and saw her still looking at the children playing at the playground. He followed her gaze, curious what made the sight interesting to her.

There were two girls, playing and laughing together. They wore an identical hair bow, identical dresses, and identical hair. Twins, Kirei saw. And they were both happy, naturally smiling and beaming at each other as he saw one of them giving the other a flower.

What an uncomfortable sight, he thought. That happiness they wore in their faces like a second skin was upsetting for him to see. Envy, he guessed his feelings, and longing. He longed for that kind of emotion to wash over him, uplifting him positively, and stir his heart as what people would describe as a blissful happiness.

Happiness. Joy. Satisfaction. Why is it does these emotions doesn't reach him even if only briefly? Just why these doesn't haven't touched him yet?

"Their happiness upsets you," a voice beside him knowingly told him. Kirei turned his head and saw Kanao looking at him with her striking eyes. "You don't like their happiness," she revised.

"Their happiness comes from the ignorance of reality," he shifted the topic from himself, not wanting to be psychoanalyzed by her. "As they grow, their happiness when facing the ugly side of the world will subside."

"Who knows? How they'll handle their own happiness is up to them," she replied.

"Happiness is a strange, innocent emotion," Kirei wondered. "An emotion that can be used as motivation and inspiration. People mostly run at this, tied with their obligation and duty."

"People wanted to be satisfied. It's reasonable they will use it as their impetus."

"Yes," he sympathized. That's how he has had been living at this point: searching for something that makes him feel accomplished. "Yes, they do."

"The Holy—"Kanao stopped herself, realizing she shouldn't utter the word publicly. "The... event that will occur soon – will it make you happy?"

Kirei turned to her. "You mean...?"

"Yes. That. Does participating in it makes you happy?"

Does joining the Holy Grail War will make me happy? That's a simple question. "Of course. The happiness of my master is also my own. Nothing makes me happy other making my master victorious in this... event."

"Is it?"

"Yes," he replied.

"Fulfilling a duty makes you happy?"

"Fulfilling a duty will always result some kind of happiness."

"...so it was the satisfaction?"

"Satisfaction and happiness are the same thing." Kirei turned to her again. "You're awfully curious about this, Kanao," he remarked bluntly.

"I'm sorry if it makes you uncomfortable," she said. "I was wondering of your own definition of happiness."

So she was actually psychoanalyzing me again. "What about you, Kanao?" He decided to return the favor. "What makes you happy?"

Promptly, she went silent with a pensive look. It took her for a while and she answered, "I do not know."

He looked at her. "There's... nothing you could think of? Even the smallest things?"

"There are small things that makes me happy," she admitted. "But I was thinking of something like... that truly makes me happy. Something that makes me want think to back to it because how happy that memory was."

"...and there was nothing you could think of?"

"There was nothing that I could define as 'happiness'. Well, there are small things here and there, but I don't know if I was truly happy... or I was just emulating that emotion called happiness."

"Emulating...?"

"Imitating someone else's actions and pretending to be happy of that action," she clarified. "I thought mirroring someone who is happy will also make me happy. While it did gave me a clear understanding what happiness is, but I don't know what it actually feels to be happy." She sighed. "If only things were so simple..." she muttered lowly to herself that almost escaped his ears.

Kirei fell silent, contemplating her words. And then he looked over to the twins, still laughing, still smiling, as if the happiness they feel was worth it. Genuine happiness. He'd asked himself before if searching for happiness was truly worth it. When a time he would finally achieved it, will he smile like how they smiled? Will he laugh like how they laughed? He doesn't know, he can't imagine it — he simply can't. Happiness was foreign to him.

And to imitate the act that is called happiness... Yes, Kirei did the same thing. After all, that's how he found out that human beings are full of contradictions. He'd tried one act that he did to his earnest and yet some expected him to do the contrasting act. It has to be complementary, or else, you would not be a 'human being'. It was a strange notion, but it threw him into a state of introspection.

"Yes," he agreed, "if only things were so simple." Nothing was truly simple in this world full of paradoxes. That's how it always was.

Silence visited them after he said it, as they pensively looked at the twins who were ignorant of their stares. They played, and played and played, until they got tired, until they left, until—

—he heard something rumbling beside him.

"I'm sorry." Kanao looked a bit flustered. "I didn't have my breakfast so..."

Kirei stood up. "No, I should've been the one apologizing you." He'd noticed that she rarely took her breakfast, he should've expected that today was no different.

"I'm sorry for this..." she bowed to him before she also stood up. "But you still have to go to a parlor to cut your hair, right?"

Looks like she noticed it too, huh... "No. I won't go to a parlor to simply cut my hair. I'll do it by myself."

"Oh." She looked... strangely disappointed. "Well then, let us go," she insisted.

And so they went.

...

The night has painted the skies as the sun hung low in the horizon. Looking at the sunset through the windows of the Church, Kirei silently sat in a pew with Kanao sitting far from him, in another row of pew far from him.

Kanao had suggested to him that they should visit the Church first before they go back to Tohsaka Mansion, saying that she wanted to 'borrow' a Bible, wanting to read it. Now, waiting for her as she read the Bible silently despite darkness around them, Kirei heard her snapping the book to close and setting it aside.

"I didn't know Adam and Eve has a third son," she remarked.

"Seth was a replacement for Abel," he told her. "He was rarely mentioned despite being the ancestor to the most of biblical figures."

"Is Cain still alive today?"

Kirei raised an eyebrow to that question. "That depends on interpretations. Some say he died when he was mistaken as a wild animal and was shot by a blind man. Others say he didn't, as he continue to walk around the world as a perpetual fugitive and a wanderer. There are also some people saying he was seeking redemption of his sins since he was the first human murderer."

"So no one really knows?"

"The true records of his death was muted in the history."

"Oh." Kanao stared at the Bible thoughtfully. "At the book of Ecclesiastes — King Solomon wrote it, right?"

"It appears to be."

"He never seems satisfied of the world and declared everything as meaningless."

"That's one way to see it," he acknowledged.

"He was described as a wise king," she wondered. "Even though he was wise, why did he end up hating the way of life of people?"

Kirei surmised that Kanao was only wondering to herself rather than ask him. But, he thought curiously, why is she interested in that specifically? "If I may ask — what your reason is for wanting to read the Bible?" he asked.

Kanao grabbed the Bible and stood up. "I was only curious. After seeing Kirei-san—you being a man of faith—I wondered what made you choose this duty." She walked to him and returned the book to him. He silently took it. "I am just... curious," she repeated, more of a whisper, looking down in contemplation as she sat beside him.

Imitating someone else's actions and pretending to be happy of that action, Kirei remembered her words.

"I envy you, Kirei-san." He turned to her as she said those words. "Unlike me, you have a purpose and your life has already been mapped out in the future. You know where, when, or how you should take your step forward because what's ahead of you was already assured."

Envy, huh? Quite ironic that he was the one envious before when she was easily understood by his father, but didn't know the true nature of his own son. And now, as she confessed to him, Kirei thought it was truly amusing that it came to this stage that they became envious to each other.

You're wrong, he silently rebutted. The road ahead of him may have been already mapped out, but he doesn't want to take that road. It might be the right road, but for him, he can't simply just take it.

Because he knows that road – that way of life – would be incredibly dull.

"Do you accept confession, Kirei-san?"

Her question made him frown. "Confession?"

"Since you're a priest, would you listen to my confession?"

Kirei finally knew what she was talking about. "I can but..." he glanced at the confession booth in the corner of the Church.

She followed his stare. "We can't do it here?"

"The reason of inconspicuous nature of confession is that sins doesn't define a person. If they have a will to confess their sins means they are prepared to repent for it. Almost every person has a chance for redemption, otherwise retribution."

It seemed Kanao took his words to a heart, as she silently walked over to the confession booth. Kirei followed after her, taking a seat at the other side of the booth, the blurred screen acting as the boundary between them.

"Well then," Kirei started, taking his priestly duty, "what is that you want to confess about?"

"I killed a person before."

There was a stunned silence.

"But I'm not really sure if I would call it a person," she continued, "but it has a form similar to a person."

That perked his interest, but he kept his silence as she continued once more.

"I had killed... but I'm not sure if I should carry it with pride or if I should regret it I'd killed because my duty justifies it. But... in the end, killing is still wrong, isn't it? I'd wondered until this point why I haven't thought about repercussions it carried until... recently."

"Between pride and regret, which are you inclined to take?"

Kanao was silent for a while. "I... don't know. No one taught me how to choose," she said silently.

He regarded her words. "...when did you start thinking of your actions like that? That it offered consequences than you thought?"

"I think it probably began when I was taken in by Tohsaka Aoi. Though, madam herself was not the one who made me aware, it was her daughters. I... never really told anyone about this except Rin and Sakura but I have a pet snake from..." She faltered. "...I got it as sort of a memento, and I've been taking care of it since then. I'd thought it wouldn't bring harm if I showed it to the girls, but they got scared. I never mentioned it again. Rin and Sakura has already forgotten about it.

"...well, I think I did mention it again to them but I didn't reference about the snake I brought. I asked them if there was a snake they saw in the distance, what would they do? They said they'd ignored it. They reasoned that a snake's venom can kill a person—so why would they approach it if brings trouble to them? It's better to leave it alone than keep your attention to it.

"I was... surprised. Their words made me think. Kill. A word they didn't like yet I was indifferent to it. That was the point that I realized that I was different. Kill was already natural for me, but Sakura and Rin doesn't held it in high regard so I started to wonder... and reached a conclusion that, after all, I was a killer—a murderer who deserved to be ignored, carrying a venom that brings trouble."

"And that's the reason why you're hesitant if you wanted to be proud of it or regret it?"

"Yes."

Kirei hummed thoughtfully. This was already far from a usual confession. Supposedly, a confessor should simply confess and the priest blesses them for better future, acknowledging their actions to admit their sins. To think it would be me to break the rule... he doesn't know if he should be amused about it. "If you managed to accept either of these, what then? What are you trying to reach if you have held your actions in pride or regret?" he asked.

"I..." she trailed off, "I will be... free, I think."

"Free... you mean you wanted relief?"

"Something like that. I... don't want to think anymore. I don't like to admit this but... I'm... already tired — of what I've seen, of what I've understood. I just want to be... blank."

Silence fell upon them as Kirei allowed it to wash over them. He figured this must be her way of venting her emotions. Seeing that she doesn't seem to have any close friends—although Rin and perhaps Sakura are qualified, he was sure that she doesn't spill her emotions to them lightly like this. To them, Tsuyuri Kanao was like an older sister they look up, one that should be protected according to Rin's actions against him. In other words...

He's the first one she has confided about herself. Kirei doesn't know what to do with that fact.

"I have another confession, Kirei-san," Kanao said suddenly.

"Oh? What is it?" he accepted.

"Shinobu-san told me to be wary of you."

Oh, Kirei thought in understanding, remembering after he and Kocho talked, she stood up and walked out the room, telling him that she has to talk with Kanao in a different room. You're quite a frigid man, aren't you? he remembered Kocho's sudden remarked before she waved it away. Seems like she was cautious of him and decided to warn Kanao. "Why is this a confession?" he asked.

"I know this is a different kind of confession... but I am serious of being your friend, Kirei-san."

So this is her idea of friendship, Kirei thought. How fitting—blunt and direct, yet easily exploitable if motivated to a wrong person. "People has always been wary of me, and you should too, Kanao," he subtly warned. "I will tell you this once again: what if I'm a bad kind of friend? Having a friend like that doesn't benefit you anything."

Kanao was silent in the other side. They'd stay like that for a while until the sun fully descended to the horizon and night comes in mutely. Kirei decided that they are done for the day and stood up. "It's already dark. We should go now."

"I have another confession, Kirei-san," Kanao said, as if she didn't hear what he said just now. He was about to refute but she beat him to it. "I don't know if this counts as a confession... but I will say this nonetheless." She paused. "I... I think I remembered why we became scattered. Why we no longer run as an organization anymore; the reason why we dismantled. It's because we don't have a purpose because we already... no, finally defeated our enemy."

"Enemy?" Is she telling this to him now? Kirei was slightly stunned, but he listened intently.

"Yes, an enemy. I'm sure Kirei-san had some idea about a creature of night, right?"

He does — he did, but... "That should've been our job." Not necessarily the entirety of the Church; it's the Executor's responsibility.

"I'll... apologize on their behalf," she said, "It was a personal matter."

"A personal matter...?"

"Apparently, it started sixty years ago, roughly sixty years ago," she clarified. "There was a huge incident that threw Fuyuki into chaos. I was told that was the time when it started."

Sixty years ago...? Strangely, that's the same timeframe when the Third Holy Grail War happened.

"I was sixteen years old when it happened, and I was one of the many fighters who fought him and one of the few who survived." And then she spoke an unspeakable name. "We fought a man... no, a Dead Apostle named Kibutsuji Muzan. After a great battle, we managed to kill him... along with his followers at the cost of my friends' lives."

...

"...I see." It was the only words Tohsaka Tokiomi uttered eventually after a grave silence when Kirei reported him what'd transpired in the Butterfly Mansion and his conversation with a woman named Kōcho Shinobu, and the unexpected revelation that came from Tsuyuri Kanao yesterday. "Aside from this Dead Apostle, are you sure this woman, Kōcho, truly said that to you?" his master asked. Earlier, Kirei told him of a words what Kōcho asked him to say if he decides to unravel the information to someone — in this case, what Kirei should say if that 'someone' is a Tohsaka current head.

"Yes, master," Kirei affirmed.

"Ubuyashiki Family, huh?" Tohsaka Tokiomi pondered. "They're quite an old, distinguished family, rarely yielding a mage within a generation. Every head of the family has produce abundant amount of children in an act of preserving the name of Ubuyashiki, where a boy — later a man — are only allowed to be a head of the family."

"Is it possible that their magical aptitude waned just like the Makiris — the Matous?" Kirei asked.

"Not necessarily like the Matou Family. Ubuyashiki always have the magical affinity here in Fuyuki. That's the reason why this Kōcho woman told you 'The Ubuyashiki Family will always remember your consideration'; in a desperate act of preserving their magical aptitude, they had to live here and my ancestor allowed them to reside in Fuyuki."

"But why do they rarely produced a mage in their family?"

"They are not particularly blessed with long lives. A certain incurable 'disease' runs in the family. The moment a boy reaches adolescence, this 'disease' makes its appearance." He sighed. "Apparently, this 'disease' came from their Magic Crest."

"Was there a defect in their Magic Crest?"

"Only the Ubuyashikis knows. Despite the 'disease' it carries, they continually to lend it generation after generation. The family was not quite highly regarded by the Association because of this." His master raised his eyes. "By the way, Kirei, this Dead Apostle, Kibutsuji Muzan, you seemed to be well-acquainted of the name. Is this creature an object of interest within the Church?"

"As a former Executor, I know the name well. We were warned about this... creature of its activities. Of all the Dead Apostle who had made its presence known, Kibutsuji Muzan has drawn out an unnecessary existence in the world, and the Executors found no hints where this creature is hiding.

"And to hear that Kibutsuji Muzan has already been eliminated... was not the news we expected, but we welcomed it nonetheless. But the Church quite made a fuss that none of Executors did it, but rather, it was an unknown organization."

"When you reported this matter to your father, has Tsuyuri Kanao became a person of interest?"

"...she was." The Church's interest on Kanao was understandable on Kirei's part. As the only person available who had fought the Dead Apostle, Kibutsuji Muzan, and his followers, they were quite curious of what armaments she — or they — used against the creature, as to how they'd completely defeated him without using any holy objects. However... "When they found she was already affiliated with the Mage's Association, they shifted their attention to 'scout' the survivors of the mysterious organization who defeated the Dead Apostle."

"At this point, the Church and the Mage's Association, for the first time in a while, had their attentions aligned to the same kind of people," his master mused. "Since Kanao still haven't accepted the offer as an Enforcer, perhaps the Church have a lead in this case."

Kirei stayed silent. That may be so but he believed, despite connected to the Church himself, the Mage's Assocation was still ahead. They had their hands on Tsuyuri Kanao who was connected directly to the unknown organization, and she's the key of their finding 'one of her kind'. But then again, his opinion as a man who is under the Church, if only Kanao got the attention first from the Church, she would fare better as a person than an object of interest within the Mage's Association; an object of observation and surveillance — a person with Sealing Designation.

"That aside, accompanying Kanao produced far more information than I'd expected," Tohsaka Tokiomi declared. "As for the place you told me, the Butterfly Mansion, perhaps I'll find a spare time to visit Kōcho Shinobu."

"For what, master?"

His master smiled. "For a pleasant talk," he said. "You are dismissed, Kirei. You've done well."

Complying, he went outside of his master's study. Walking aimlessly to a direction he wasn't aware of, Kirei found himself standing close to the windows that was situated close to the kitchens. Realizing where he'd arrived, Kirei sat silently in the chair.

Despite the report he told to his master, Kirei kept some information close to his chest. He didn't reported roughly half of it — most of the obscured came from the woman, Kōcho Shinobu. He did report the entirety of his conversation with Kanao yesterday, but only necessary for his master. Most of it was relayed to his father in the church. The matter of Dead Apostle and their heresy was not something a mage should be troubled with.

Kirei was dragged out of his thoughts when he heard familiar voices outside the window. As he peered through it, he saw Rin and Kanao making flower crowns to each other. Unaware of his stare, the young girl proudly raised her wrist to Kanao.

"Look, Kanao, what do you see?" Rin asked almost haughtily.

"An expensive bracelet with priceless pearls and jewels," Kanao said promptly.

"Isn't it?" Rin laughed happily. "Uncle Kariya gave me this yesterday."

Kanao blinked. "Kariya...? Matou Kariya?"

Rin nodded. "Since... since Sakura is a Matou now, Uncle Kariya is literally her uncle now."

Kanao was silent beside Rin, but she looked as though she was considering the young girl's words.

"Ah... the sun is getting hotter now." Rin looked up at the sky. "Mother will scold me if I stay here any longer." As she said that, Rin left wordlessly, leaving Kanao at the garden. Seeing this, Kirei stood up and went to the garden.

"Good morning," he greeted Kanao who looked up as if she was snapped out of her thoughts.

"G...good morning, Kirei-san," she greeted in return as he took a seat beside her, replacing Rin's spot. "How was the report to your master?"

"Accomplished," he told her halfheartedly.

She nodded. "I see."

They both went silent. Kirei glanced at her in the corner of his eyes subtly, and he saw her with eyes closed. He raised an eyebrow at that but he didn't say a word. Rather, he closed his own eyes along with her.

Mediating, Kirei assumed. Or perhaps, with her eyes closed, she was receiving less information, and instead, she was listening of the rustle of the wind, the distant chirping of birds, and the silence... the breathing — her breathing seemed focused and unfluctuating. Kirei opened his eyes and openly looked at her. With her hands folded in her lap, Kanao's spine was stiff and straight in a proper manner despite her eyes closed, exuding the air of strange regality and posture of a lady.

But with her eyes closed, Kirei can't see her strikingly colored eyes.

And speaking of her eyes, his thoughts connected back to the conversation he had with Kōcho Shinobu yesterday, regarding about Kanao's eyes — the Mystic Eyes she possessed.

"As for the Mystic Eyes and why she had that, it wasn't an entirely a coincidence she ended up possessing it," Kōcho had told him after a flurry of information. "The girl now named as Tsuyuri Kanao has a Kōcho blood in her. After all, my elder sister also had the Mystic Eyes of Hollow Perception."

"She was a distant relative to you?" Kirei said.

Kōcho nodded. "She is. It might be one of our ancestor marrying outside, or maybe she came from a branch family but it doesn't change a fact that Kanao has a Kōcho blood within her, making her a candidate user of Mystic Eyes only a Kōcho should be able to possess — no matter how thin and diluted the blood she had it."

Suddenly, Kirei thought in slight amusement that his master's assumption was quite wrong. Tsuyuri Kanao's family wasn't subjected to anything — it was simply within her bloodline that she happened to possess the Mystic Eyes of Hollow Perception. And despite what Kōcho told him it wasn't a coincidence, it is one. Tsuyuri Kanao shouldn't be able to possess it and yet she did. But for her to have it, the Kōcho blood within Tsuyuri Kanao must've been strong since it prevailed among the rest.

"The Mystic Eyes of Hollow Perception. Well, I'm sure you already knew why it was called like that, right, Kotomine Kirei?" Kōcho asked lightly. "I'll take your silence as 'yes'. Hollow for the Hollow Element and Perception for sight or eyes. The Kōcho Family was blessed with a rare element — Imaginary Element — that only few mages possessed. Most of us have Hollow Element, and a handful few got Void Element. And as for me," Kōcho laughed wryly, "I got the five 'common' Element.

"I'm one of the black sheep in the family," she clarified when she saw his look. "The Kōcho Family was quite proud for possessing the rare element that only few mages have. Inevitably, they tend to look down on someone if they got a 'common' element within the family, even those who are called as Average Ones are not even spared to this discrimination, despite being called as prodigy within the Mage's Association."

"You're an Average One within the family full of rarity," Kirei remarked unsarcastically despite the ironic implication of his words.

"It really makes me think why we're called as Average Ones," Kōcho agreed. "But I guess, as much as I hate it, I can see why our family doesn't held much regard when someone in our family doesn't have one of the Imaginary Element. Those who have Hollow Element are the only ones who can handle the Mystic Eyes of Hollow Perception, so that makes me ruled out for possessing it. Besides, I have no interest reaching the Root."

"And for those who have Void Element?" Kirei asked. There weren't much information of the Void Element — the Imaginary Elements (Hollow and Void) in actuality, so he's quite curious how those with Void Element handled the Mystic Eyes.

She regarded his words thoughtfully. "Kōcho Kanae, my late elder sister, has Void Element. She didn't told me about it in detail, but she said it was convenient since she can turn it on and off the Mystic Eyes by will alone, unlike those with Hollow Element who'll continually receive the 'captured' information, just like the case with Tsuyuri Kanao."

Kōcho Shinobu and Kōcho Kanae. His master told him that two sisters who took Tsuyuri Kanao from the orphanage and it seemed likely that one of the sister was now he's currently facing. Her late elder sister, Kirei recalled her saying. Kōcho Kanae must have already passed on. And other than that, the Void Element was, expectedly, described incredibly vague.

"And as for why the Mystic Eyes was created," Kōcho resumed, "it's just a mage's foolish attempt to 'reach' the Root. Since they found out grasping the Root is impossible, they shifted their goal to only 'perceive' it. So Kōcho Family experimented with their rare element, and generation after generation of self-modification and torture, a Mystic Eyes was born. It wasn't the Mystic Eyes of Hollow Perception yet, they, albeit formerly, created a Mystic Eyes of Just Perception, the eyes to see the present truth.

"But, as they found out, it was an imperfect Mystic Eyes. Those who possessed these eyes went crazy and died soon after. The Kōchos found out that these eyes didn't connect with their rare element so they experimented with their body once more. And so, multiple generations went through a lot of torture and suffering, and the Mystic Eyes of Imaginary Perception was born.

"My late elder sister said there was a certain incident in Fuyuki sixty years ago, and one of our ancestor attempted to look at the Root using that incident. They failed and died — but not before leaving behind obscured records about the Mystic Eyes of Imaginary Perception. However, due how sparse it was and multiple interpretations it bred that caused multiple versions of 'origins' and 'techniques' how use the Mystic Eyes, no one longer knows the 'true' nature of Mystic Eyes of Imaginary Perception. And the most commonly accepted and understood 'interpretation' of the Mystic Eyes was that it's supposed to be called as Hollow Perception. From now on, it's been always called like that."

Kirei can't help but commend the Kōcho Family's tenacity to reach the Root. Altering and modifying the Mystic Eyes meant having thoroughly subjected into intense pain, and to add to that, it went for generations after generations. According to his master who taught him magecraft and its nature, Mystic Eyes was not accurately, although accepted, part of magecraft. It's more of a physic ability.

Mystic Eyes materialize when there's an aberration of Magic Circuits around the eyes of a person. And to transform Mystic Eyes to anyone's liking is equivalent to tampering one's organ since Magic Circuits are comparable to the nerves of a human person, except it's already fixed at birth. It can't be added or reduce, unless you subject yourself to surgical alteration, akin replacing a rotten organ with a new, healthy one, or having face surgery to modifying your facial features of your own desire.

Kōcho told him, as she added, that Kōcho Family became doctors precisely because of their mage's foolish attempt to reach the Root. Having someone in the family who was a doctor meant you're 'honored' to be a subject of operation to alter the magic circuits, especially on the head.

A collective mad doctors, Kōcho had shamelessly described her own family, although a successful collective mad doctors since they'd succeeded in their endeavors of creating the Mystic Eyes of Imaginary Perception. And, she added wryly, one of those mad doctors was the one who left the obscured records sixty years ago who also possessed the Mystic Eyes. Now, since Kōcho Family was no longer required to become doctors, they shifted their attention to become a scientist or philosopher, or whatever ideas they wanted to be. As for her, Kōcho studied to be a nurse, later becoming into herbalist.

"Collecting herbs in the mountain is more achieving than being coped up in shiny white walls that reeks sterile smell," Kōcho had reasoned. "I didn't really care if I'm a nurse, a doctor, philosopher, scientist, or herbalist, I rather want a purpose in life that's more fulfilling than carrying a declined family's will."

"Declined family?" Kirei asked. Has the Kōchos lessen in numbers? Did they stop producing mage children?

"It wasn't because our family had slowly waned or something like that. I said earlier that I'm one of the black sheep of the family, right? Well, my late elder sister and I are the black sheep in the 'current' generation so we both didn't inherited the Magic Crest. Since we're the only survivors left, the Kōcho Family is no longer a mage family anymore nor could anyone carry the name of Kōcho in the future."

"...something happened?" Suddenly, Kirei recalled the words of his master. Her family was annihilated that it was a miracle that a girl was able to survive. A survivor who now called herself as Tsuyuri Kanao.

"They suddenly dropped like flies one day," Kōcho replied. "I'd thought if they were pulling a prank on me and my sister, but when we checked their bodies, they're already dead. It was a massacre, and it happened during when my late sister and I were away so we didn't know who slaughtered the entire family. We ran away in fear, thinking that we would be blamed in the incident. And with the Ubuyashiki's kindness that we met encountered halfway as sort-of-fugitives, they unquestionably took us in."

It's similar, Kirei thought. It's frightening similar. "I see," he said indifferently, hiding his true thoughts. "It is shame to what happened in your family, but I'm afraid we'd strayed away from the main topic why Tsuyuri Kanao had the Mystic Eyes." Kirei reminded her.

"My apologies, priest," Kōcho replied mildly. "Now, it's your turn. What had been Tsuyuri Kanao doing these days?"

Even though it was a rather confidential information, Kirei told these words mildly as he can, "Tsuyuri Kanao was given a Sealing Designation by the Mage's Association, and she was offered to become an Enforcer."

"...excuse me?" In a rare show of different expression instead of her usual smile, that was the first time Kirei saw bewilderment on Kōcho's face. He inwardly smirked.

And he was snapped out from the memory when he felt a light tap on his shoulder. Kirei opened his eyes and saw Kanao standing over him. "I'll be going, Kirei-san. It's time for me to work," she told him.

Kirei only nodded to her. Kanao bowed in farewell and walked towards the door to enter the mansion. He stared at her small back, then swept his gaze of the bellowing flowers that swayed in the wind, making a rustling noise and the wafting smell swirled around the garden like a small storm.

As he looked down, multiple petals rested on the ground, lifeless yet beautiful.

And for some reason, it reminded him of... her.

...

Kirei and Kanao had sparred for a few days, refining her Baji Quan, before Tohsaka Tokiomi told him that they will be making a show of 'to break his connection from his master because a Command Seal has appeared on my hand'. Kirei accepted dutifully and 'broke away' his 'connection' to his master. Tohsaka Tokiomi also told him that he should summon a Servant soon, preferably Assassin for covert and undercover tasks.

And so he did summon Assassin, Hassan-I Sabbah, the Old Man of the Mountain.

He found it slightly amusing that the Heroic Spirit he summoned came from a zealot organization that specializes in assassination. While his former job doesn't fully lean to senseless assassination, Executors are, to some extent, the same in nature to Hassan-I Sabbah. Killing heretics mages and creatures — such is the responsibility of an Executor, all of it doing in the name of God.

Since he'd no longer visited the Tohsaka Mansion, that dream came to haunt him once more. The discordant yet harmonious world of dull and colorful world — the world of flowers and the world of stones at either sides that existed in an almost symphonic way.

Her back was facing him. Her hair swaying the wind at the passing breeze, along with the flowers surrounding her. In a strange of sense madness that suddenly possessed him, Kirei stepped into the world of flowers, leaving his world of stones, and walked towards her until he was standing right behind her.

She still haven't noticed him. Her hair still swaying at the wind as if she was floating in the water. The flowers rustled along with her hair, its tips tickling her shoulders, making her hair even messier.

Kirei stepped around her, facing the familiar face he knew so much. Smiling, he raised his hands and grasped between the face and neck gently. And then he uttered a name with twisted affection:

"Claudia."

Golden eyes and white hair. Messy short hair and sickly constitution. A woman he came 'love' was standing in front of him. His loved one who didn't came to understand him. A saintly figure who continues to love him, blinded by love, seeing through love. A woman in love who overlooked his true nature.

Claudia Hortensia, a woman he suffered and was suffered that Kirei had cried for, and regretted that she didn't die on his own hand.

"Kirei-san."

But Claudia Hortensia was not the one he held in his hand. The person in front of him was Tsuyuri Kanao. He quickly pulled away his hands as if he was burned. Looking at his hands in bewilderment, he raised his eyes to the person in front of him.

Why was Claudia Hortensia suddenly replaced by Tsuyuri Kanao? Why is he holding her affectionately? And why is it Tsuyuri Kanao always appeared in his dreams? "Who are you?" Kirei asked almost accusingly. He wanted answers; he wanted reasons. He wanted to know if there was significance of her presence here in this dream.

She didn't respond. She just stared, looking at him with her piercing, striking eyes. She continued to gaze and gaze and gaze at him until —

— a familiar blood-red flower violently sprouted in one of her eyes as blood gushed out from it, along with similar flowers blooming in the same gore manner appearing throughout her body.

Kirei woke up with a jolt, dumbfounded what he'd seen in his dream.

...

Few weeks later, Kirei found himself sitting on one of the benches in the park, waiting for someone.

The reason why he was waiting was trivial, yet he accepted the trifling matter and waited for someone who asked for a favor to see him. But Kirei would be lying if he knew why Tsuyuri Kanao asked for his presence, their setting of meeting here in this park at the same spot they'd sat before when she told him of a certain revelation of a certain Dead Apostle, along with its coincidences that happened sixty years ago.

His master had told him about the previous Holy Grail Wars prior to its current fourth War, the war which he will be participating and will be happening in a few months, raising its curtain to the latest Holy Grail War. The third War, according to his master, ended in a disaster. Since it was held in the eve of World War II, outside Masters included Nazis and military alike, Edelfelt sisters summoning the same Saber-class Servant due to their unique Sorcery Trait and whatnot, had joined the Holy Grail War — a battle between mages. It was quite a hellish event, truly living up to the name of a Holy Grail War, unlike of the second War, as Tohsaka Tokiomi told him, that participating Masters during that time went on a murder spree, leaving no surviving Master left. Expectedly, there was no victor. And the third War had the same result due the lesser Grail being destroyed.

And a Kōcho ancestor attempted to look into the Root using a certain incident sixty years ago, Kirei recalled. That incident can be none other than the Third Holy Grail War, which Kōcho implied that her ancestor had participated. But still, Kirei thought. Kanao mentioned the reason that the enigmatic organization she was connected with also began roughly sixty years ago, within the same timeframe of the War. Is it possible that the Ubuyashiki Family was also involved the Holy Grail War? Kibutsuji Muzan was, in the eyes of the Church, a blight of this world, a presence unneeded, and heretic creature called Dead Apostle. But if Kibutsuji Muzan was involved in that War... And also, apparently according to Kanao, was the beginning of a personal trifle between this Dead Apostle and the Ubuyashiki Family... There's also the Ubuyashiki's connection to the Tohsakas that can't be ignored.

Kirei can't help but think that there was some kind of connection in these events, one way or another.

Tsuyuri Kanao has arrived, master. Assassin telepathically reported, snapping him out of his thoughts. Since his Servant was hiding in the shadows by the courtesy of his Class Skills, Presence Concealment, Assassin has been acting as Kirei's eyes almost immediately at the moment of the summoning. He also received his Servant's consent for shared perception.

Assassin has been quite acquainted with the presence of Tsuyuri Kanao, already familiarizing the appearance of the woman whom Rin's has given a responsibility to be a 'good friend'. Ever since Kirei had 'severed' his apprenticeship, Tohsaka Tokiomi also made Kanao undertook a role of 'a person distressed of their severed ties' front.

Of course, this role should have been meaningless, however, as Kanao had told him in one of her visits here in this usual setting of meeting here in this park, there's always significance in every meaninglessness. "After all," she'd told him, "every individual human beings are meaningless existence in a sense of scale to the entire world. I observed that they're naturally selfish and lonely beings, always thinking for themselves yet at times, thinking for the sake of other person. They're such an inconsistent creatures."

Kirei agreed heartedly. That's what he'd observed too, and acted like a human being, a contradictory individual much like themselves. But that notion, as he'd found out, was, ironically, a meaningless endeavor. No matter what he does, acting and conducting himself to become like them wasn't enough. Why is it that they were able to live with that contradiction? he found himself asking at some point. How is it they were able to live with that perpetual flaw but still lived in satisfaction and fulfillment?

"Good evening, Kirei-san," she greeted him. Kirei stood up.

"Good evening," he greeted in return.

"I apologize for making the trouble for meeting me here in this late of night." She bowed in apology.

"Don't worry about it," he said lightly.

She looked as though she was about to say something, but whipped her attention at something behind him, her keen eyes pointed to a certain direction. Kirei followed her eyes and saw nothing... except for the dark shadow that wasn't lighted by the lamppost. "What's wrong?" he asked, trying to shift her attention. Kirei felt the presence of Assassin right there hiding in that shadow earlier, but the moment she landed her eyes there, Assassin immediately moved away. With that Mystic Eyes of hers, it's possible that she'd seen through Assassin's Presence Concealment, Kirei presumed.

"...it's probably just my imagination," she said eventually, and changed the subject as she gestured him to sit. Kirei sat beside her with appropriate space between them in the bench. "I... will say this to you straightly. Can you please return the favor when I told you about my interpretation about you?"

"That's... quite a strange request," he told her equally frank. Does she want to know what he'd thought of her in a form of 'interpretation'?

"I think so too," she admitted. "But Kirei-san, after all this time, I haven't heard about your thoughts — your true thoughts, I mean. I may have these Eyes, but it doesn't confirm nor reject anything. They may say seeing is believing, but sometimes, you have to validate what you've seen and settle it if it was truly what you saw."

The way she phrased her words was like something she'd already experienced, Kirei observed. Probably, in her perspective, possessing that Mystic Eyes was either a blessing or a curse. Blessing, for it sees what you want and provide answers to your questions that is unspoken. Curse, for it sees unpleasant, unwelcomed sight that may haunt your dreams. Then again, as Kirei recalled his master's words, Mystic Eyes can be a double-edged sword. Since its ability was more in a psychic realm; if you don't safeguard your own brain, it may be cause the melting of your sanity.

Metaphorical Interpretation. That's the alternative way of using Tsuyuri Kanao's powerful sight. Receiving continuous stream of information was too much for her—so instead of accepting what she'd seen as a fact, she used her own way of eccentric illumination to see it. It's an unconventional way to see the truth. After all, that's the purpose of the Mystic Eyes of Hollow Perception: to perceive the highest 'truth'—the Akashic Records. In other words, the Root.

"An interpretation for an interpretation, is that what you want from me?" he asked.

She nodded. "I know you don't see the same way as I am. You don't have to be... abstract. Just say what you wanted to say about me."

So she's that kind of person, huh? Kirei thought in slight amusement, a person who wanted to know other people's opinion about themselves. "A 'seed'. That's my 'interpretation' of you," he told her. "You arrived in the Tohsaka Mansion, and Tohsaka Aoi nurtured you and brought you food behind her husband's back. And then you grew into a little seedling—the longer you stayed, the more you nurtured." Kirei deliberately left some things out, then he continued, "Since you have 'planted' yourself to them, you decided to be honest as you can be, and told them your connection to an organization. This caught their attention, akin to a striking, different flower; a unique flower they can't help but notice its bloom. So they, the Mage's Association, took you in, given you a Sealing Designation. And from that, a different seedling grew.

"It wasn't an ordinary seed; it was a seed that can grow into infinite possibilities—it doesn't produce only one flower but a branch of different kinds of blossom," Kirei clarified when he saw her confused look. "The seedling that cultivated in the Tohsaka Manor continues to be nurtured, and another one has sprouted for the Mage's Association. Both seedling grew into its potential, blooming in vitality differently. A branch might have cultivated during your stay at the Mage's Association, producing different sets of flowers, or maybe it was otherwise." After all, Kirei doesn't know what happened to Kanao in the Clock Tower, so all he can do was only assume.

She stared at him keenly. "You didn't tell everything," she observed.

Kirei returned her look. "I might be."

"But despite that, it was still the truth, isn't it?" she asked shrewdly.

"It is." Partially. His interpretation of 'seed of possibilities' still applies to her, and he wasn't exactly lying when he explained about it. There's another 'interpretation' of his that suited her more.

"I accept." She slightly inclined her head forward, acknowledging his words and interpretation. "If Kirei-san's interpretation was partially concealed then let me reveal this to you." Kanao looked at him straight in eyes. "A bottle that is half-empty and half-full was just one of my interpretation about you."

"It was..." It was just one of her interpretation? Those words didn't left his mouth because of his bewilderment. If that interpretation was only one of many, then what was her 'true' interpretation? Kirei thought.

"I'm not implying that it wasn't real one," she added in clarification, "nor was it a joke. It's still a 'true' interpretation what I'd seen of you. If I'm some kind of 'seed', then you, Kirei-san, are one too. Although, Kirei-san grew into, not as a blossom, but as a fruit tree. An apple or fig tree perhaps but it can be any tree; a fruit tree that perpetually bore fruits but only ended up getting rotten, leaving it fruitless."

In other words, Kirei realized as he listened, an endeavor that gets wasted. As expected from her; once again, she was right — however, only to some extent. He doesn't exactly saw his endeavors as fruitless; he learned things and ways that's beneficial to him. On the other hand, if she was talking about a different kind of endeavor — the kind of endeavor that he thought the responsibility he chose for himself had suited him, but doesn't fulfill any kind of satisfaction to the gaping void of his heart, and leaving it partway in silent scorn — she's right. In different angle of perspective, he'd left it to rot. Kirei would rot the expectations that others expected from him if ever that time comes.

A healthy-looking fruit, yet the insides are already decayed. A corrupted, aberrant fruit. This was the more accurate interpretation to describe himself.

"Telling me all this means you're asking the same in return, right?" Kirei remarked keenly.

"An eye for an eye, a lie for a lie, a truth for a truth. If everything is equal, we will reached an understanding to each other," Kanao said. "My... someone taught me that."

Kirei regarded her last words in a second before he decided to leave it alone. "In other words, communication," he concluded. "Fine. I accept. I'll tell you my 'true' interpretation." He paused to prepare himself. "A vase. That's what — who you are in my perspective. If you say that I'm a bottomless bottle waiting to be satiated despite constantly being filled, then you are a vase inviting to be filled, holding the flowers despite the mass quantity of it. You are a container—holding the responsibilities given to you but never burdened by it. After all, a vase doesn't hold the same flowers forever, it can replaced because flowers doesn't bloom eternally. It needed to be nurtured, it needed to be cultivated in the right hands. And a vase doesn't have that ability to do it, it was simply there, with water half-filled to preserve the flowers that will eventually lost its color."

"...a vase."

"An immature vase," Kirei corrected. "An unformed vase that doesn't have a foundation yet. It held no direction to move forward, but simply only still in its position. It provide what it can only provide which is to hold the flowers— it's only deed, perhaps it's only fate to do so."

"...so it doesn't possess any hindsight for future?"

"Not necessarily," he assured. "There's a chance for it to... reach its potential. Metaphorically speaking, it's a vase that can hold anything because it can and will always be. It will accept any kind of flowers because it's the right way to do. And using the flowers the vase held, it 'records' the nature of flowers it preserved. With that, the vase acquired an experience by simply being still, and it will 'grow' through that simple act."

As Kirei told those words with finality, he glanced at Kanao beside him. Inadvertently, their eyes met. Her striking lilac-purple eyes shined under the moonlight just in time when the clouds parted above them, and he saw the emotions danced on her eyes.

Hope, resignation, acknowledgement—these are what he saw along hopelessness and desperation as if his words were her life's impetus. Was that reason why she called me out here? After all, Kirei can't help but sense the hint of resolution in this meeting.

"You're thinking... of a reason of this final meeting despite our multiple encounters here," Kanao remarked in observation, their eyes locked to each other. Of course, Kirei thought, in this position, she can easily see through him. "Since it's getting late, I'll tell you the reason." She looked away and stood up. Kirei followed her actions.

"So this is a goodbye?" he suspected.

"The Holy Grail War is rapidly approaching, and your master is increasingly getting cautious. Other than asking for a favor that came from me, your master also asked for your presence tomorrow along with your... familiar." She swept her gaze at the shadow where she'd glanced earlier. "To answer your question, yes, this is a farewell, although a temporary one if it comes to that. If the Holy Grail War does lives up to its name, you might have little chance for survival, Kirei-san," she told him bluntly.

At those words, a bubble of disappointment rose in his chest. "It is a shame you didn't enter this War. My master told me so."

"An opinion I won't agree," she replied without a beat. "The time of parting has come, Kirei-san, is there something you wanted to do?"

At first, when Kirei heard the offer, he thought of nothing, but then a moment later, an image appeared in his mind's eye. It wasn't a desire nor a wish. The image came to him like a thunder as if reminding him instinctually, as if stirring him to respond the offer she gave to him. But the problem is, it was impossible to recreate the image. After all, the sight that came to him was—

"I do not fear death. That's what my faith incites," he replied, instead of entertaining the idea of the image in his head. "And, if I may add in reassurance, I won't die. My task is to accompany my master until the conclusion of the War. I have that confidence as Tohsaka Tokiomi's apprentice."

"And after that? What happens if you have concluded your role as Tohsaka Tokiomi's apprentice?"

Good question, Kirei acknowledged, but every questions will always have answers. "The farce that we'd put up as a front will turn into a reality. My severed ties with my master will be noticed if I go back as if nothing had happened. We've settled that once—if both of us survived in this War—we'll go in separate ways." After all, Tohsaka Tokiomi will have no further use of me, if ever that time comes, he thought. Kotomine Kirei was just a pawn being conveniently used, and that so-called convenience will lost its value once the Holy Grail War ends.

"I see." She looked at him pensively. "And you're still looking for something," she said pointedly.

"I am," he confessed.

"And I suppose that this Holy Grail War will make your... endeavors reach its conclusion."

"...hopefully." If Kirei was chosen as a Master in this event because of his 'heart's desire', then perhaps, he'll find his answers.

Kanao smiled and bowed courteously. "I wish you luck, Kirei-san, and your master. May the Holy Grail be within your reach soon."

"You have my thanks." He returned her bow. "The night is already high and seems to be approaching its dawn. This will be the time of parting—"

Kirei went still as a rock. It took him a while to register the warmth he felt in front of his body and the hands that rested on hardened back. His posture was straight as a pole, yet like a pole as he seems, there's no mistaking of the sensation he'd felt of another body pressing on him.

It has been a while since another person had violated his personal space, but he welcomed the strange comfortable warmth that coursed through him. When was the last time someone hugged him? he wondered. At first, he thought of Claudia, and as he looked back now, a strange warmth also flowed through his entire being—a different kind of warmth compared to Tsuyuri Kanao's embrace. But why was it so different? he thought confusingly. It was the same act yet both had different kind of level of sensation that affects him.

And then Kanao pulled away, backing away in a single step back from him. She bowed once more. "Thank you, Kirei-san, for being a good friend of mine. I'll always treasured our time together," she told him in finality, and without a second glance, she walked away.

...

When Kirei first laid his eyes on her, it was supposed to be forgettable and ordinary. It was so brief and fleeting, and not something he should've paid attention because of how unremarkable their meeting was.

But it wasn't. It may be unremarkable but it wasn't. It was a premonition, a prelude of the significance of meaninglessness. As if to understand to each other, to fathom each other, to see the value to one another; in the end, leads to the path of emptiness.

Was it truly meaningless? Did it truly lead and will end up as meaningless? He wanted to say otherwise with that thought, but found no firm reason to justify that it wasn't meaningless.

If he had to incite a loose reason, a personal selfish reason, Kirei would say she made him see a broken mirror. Tsuyuri Kanao's existence, as she'd face him in equal footing, became his distorted, jarred mirror. What she showed was not perfect reflection, she was only cracked imitation of himself who also possessed the same emptiness as him.

What was the point of this realization? he wondered. In the end, it was that meaninglessness again.

.

.

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"The time of parting has come, Kirei-san, is there something you wanted to do?"

At first, when Kirei heard the offer, he thought of nothing, but then in a moment later, an image appeared in his mind's eye. It wasn't a desire nor a wish; the image came to him like a thunder as if reminding him instinctually, as if stirring him to respond the offer she gave to him. But the problem is, it's impossible to recreate the image. After all, the sight that came to him was—

.

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.

She didn't respond. She just stared, looking at him with her piercing, striking eyes. She continued to gaze, and gaze, and gaze at him, until suddenly, a familiar blood-red flower violently sprouted in one of her eyes, as blood gushed out from it, along with similar flowers blooming in the same gore manner appearing throughout her body.

.

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"Thank you, Kirei-san, for being a good friend of mine. I'll always treasured our time together."

"Yes," he said in a dream—of a certain dream that always came to haunt him every night. "And in turn, you, alone, will always be a friend of mine."

Kotomine Kirei had been by himself as far as he can remember. He acknowledged that he never had someone fit to be called as a true friend. He'd never engaged in such trifling matter before, but this time, it changed. Without him knowing, the matter between him and Tsuyuri Kanao had irrevocably changed somehow.

When did it change? he'd wondered before. When did it change between them? There's supposed to be a boundary between them, a boundary that neither of them should never dare to cross and yet... How did that happen? Was it because of their countless conversation? Of their insignificant meetings?

Perhaps he was still immature to perceive and understand the matter of friendship. This confusion he felt would've never troubled him if he can already comprehend such matters. But if there's one thing he knew from this matter was that there wasn't a single mistake about it.

Tsuyuri Kanao has and had become a friend of his.

A friend, he thought indifferently.

A friend, he thought mildly.

A friend, he thought contemplatively.

A... friend, he thought repeatedly.

"If possible... only if possible, I wish to be your friend, Kirei-san. Is that possible?" The apparition of Tsuyuri Kanao parroted her reality counterpart.

"What if I'm a bad kind of friend?" Kirei repeated his question as before.

"But a friend nonetheless," she countered with the same manner.

"I would be a bad influence to you."

"You never felt happiness, felt joy, felt satisfaction, felt fulfilled. What kind of person are you — no, how have you been alive this long, walked this earth as if you existed when you, yourself, doesn't feel alive at all?"

.

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The dream he dreamt was that same discordant harmonious world. A world of stones and a world of flowers, connected together in impossible manner.

And as usual, Tsuyuri Kanao stood in the field of flowers, unmoving...

...with blood-red flowers gouging violently from her fair skin.

The flowers that bloomed in gore manner from his previous dream stayed as if waiting for a continuation. And the blood-red flowers that broke out under her skin had almost covered her entire body while still standing as if she wasn't affected, as if she wasn't in pain at all. But the sight she provided to him was a painful one—or at least, Kirei thought was painful for her.

A striking, piercing lilac-purple eye. That was the only thing Kirei saw from Tsuyuri Kanao under those blood-red flowers. Observing, scrutinizing, gazing as if perpetually seeing what she'd been looking for. And as for him, in a twisted way, perhaps this was his fleeting desire for her.

For the red spider lily flower that symbolizes death, and Death that possibly—no, that Kirei wanted Kanao to wear like a second skin in her entire being, he wanted to reap her life with his own hands.

They say dreams show the reflection of your truest desire that slumbered within your heart. With these dreams of his, this was simply one of his truest desire.

So he walked forward, no longer looking back, no longer turning back. He just simply moved ahead of him. Towards her. Towards the tormented Tsuyuri Kanao of his dream. Towards the distorted, corrupted image of Tsuyuri Kanao—his true sight of her, and entered her world of flowers.

And held her tightly in his arms.

Her world of flowers withered. Kirei was satisfied at the sight he saw, his lips stretching which he identified to be a smile.

Kotomine Kirei has finally smiled.

Perhaps it wasn't all that meaningless.

...

Author's Note:

Aaaaaaaand that's the end of Kirei's POV. As usual, he gave me trouble than necessary. I love you Kirei but I really hate writing you.

Once again, I'm sorry if I didn't accurately portray Kirei 'enough'. I might have missed some details that I wasn't aware or possibly missed a point in his character but if you do, please feel free to tell me or reprimand me or something so that I'll know about it. You can even discuss about it. I'm willing to listen.

Kanao chapters will be posted tomorrow.