Two Years Ago
I grinned and looked up from my laptop when I heard the door open. In walked my extremely handsome fiancé and he returned my smile with an equally massive one of his own.
"I love when you look at me like that."
"Who said I was looking at you and not the Chinese food in your hand?" I teased.
He rolled his eyes and made his way to the kitchen. "You look beautiful."
"Thank you. I figured I should dress as nice as possible today."
"Meetings?"
"Yeah. In person and virtual. I've been crazy busy." I stood and walked over to the kitchen counter, watching as he got everything we would need. "I like having you home for dinner."
He turned, a smaller smile on his face. "Me too."
I couldn't help but grin and felt like maybe I was blushing a little bit too. "I was thinking..."
His brow raised slightly as he handed me a plate and a fork and my food. "What about?"
"Our honeymoon destination. We've planned the wedding to perfection, but we haven't talked about where we want to go."
"You have a place in mind."
I bit my lip and nodded.
"Where?"
"Okay, here me out..." He went still. "What if we went to your country?"
"Aston–"
"I know, I know. You don't want to see your family and I hear you. I'm really trying to be better at respecting that, but... it bugs me that I don't know anything about you. You've never even mentioned where you grew up and I can't figure it out because you don't speak with an accent of any kind, so I think this could be a really good opportunity to show me. I want to know. And I promise this has nothing to do with you're family. I'm not asking for an introduction or a reconciliation, just that you show me a part of you."
"I don't think so."
"Just a quick in and out. They won't even know we're there!"
His hands touched mine, stopping me from dumping anymore rice on my plate and even taking it to put some back. I accidentally emptied 3/4 of it onto my plate. "Just ask me what you want to know."
I frowned. "I have, Max. You've dismissed me and even sometimes ignored me completely. You won't discuss it."
"Where I'm from isn't nearly as important as who I am. It has nothing to do with the man standing before you."
"I think you're lying."
"We both left home at eighteen, does growing up in Michigan really have a big influence on you? Has it made you who you are?"
"Yes. Growing up where I did is what made me want to leave, but I don't hate it. I go home every chance I get, because there are a lot of good parts. I have so many amazing memories and I'm sure you have some too. I want you to share them with me."
He pulled me around the counter and against his chest. "Ask me."
"Fine. Where are you from?"
"Nova Scotia."
"It took you this long to tell me you're from Canada? Are you kidding?"
"Look, you're right. I've been avoiding talking about it, because I don't want to think about home. I don't want to think about my family, because it was hard to leave."
"Then why leave at all?"
"Because it was even harder to stay. There's a lot of pressure from my parents and I had to get out of there."
"I'm sorry for bugging you so much about it, but I just..."
"No, it's okay. You were right to ask me about it. Just telling you feels a lot better."
I smiled and draped my arms over his shoulders. "Can we eat now?"
"Sure."
I gently kissed him, then went back to getting my food.
"You still want to go to Nova Scotia for our honeymoon?"
"Well... I was hoping for somewhere a bit warmer."
"Uh-huh."
I laughed and he leaned in to kiss me a few more times.
Now
I sat in my bed for hours. I tried to sort through everything in my mind, dissecting everything. I couldn't believe that these things happened. I couldn't figure out how Max is identical to Grant but so different. It's hard to describe, but it's like... it's like their energies are so different. The way they carry themselves is so different. Grant is a little unsure and awkward, but confident. Definitely tense. Max is charming and loose. Still confident, but... I don't know. The only thing they have in common is how safe I feel when I'm with them. I'm genuinely happy and calm when I'm near them.
As more memories came back though, things seemed a bit different. Max was becoming distant, and almost more secretive. He was tense and no matter what I did or said, there just seemed to be something that kept him in his own thoughts. I could see... I know it had nothing to do with me. He still kissed me like he was always did, maybe with more feeling than ever as it got closer to the wedding. There was something wrong though, and as the year passed, he never explained what it was and... I didn't ask. Why didn't I ask? I should've...
I stood, my lashes fluttering as I tried to keep the tears from falling, and made my way to the bathroom. I quickly bathed and was surprised to find new clothes on my bed when I came out. Definitely wasn't going to turn them away, though; I'd kind of been dreading putting the others back on.
When I opened the bedroom door, there was an envelope on the floor. It definitely had to be from Dru, considering it was addressed 'Miss Aston' and he's the only person that calls me that. It was practically a demand to meet him outside, but sugarcoated in his own charming way that he has.
I had to walk beyond the line of trees before finding him. His land was extensive and beautiful. It seemed like endless pastures and meadows. It kind of reminded me of home. I think this might be the first time I've felt the weight of being homesick. I've missed it, sure, but I've been patient in waiting to find out the way back. Now... there's nothing I want more than to go back and see my family.
"There you are! I thought we could have a little fun today."
"What's your definition of fun?"
His brows furrowed and he stepped closer. "Are you alright?"
I nodded. "I'm totally fine."
"Hmm... I don't believe you."
I smiled slightly. "I promise I'm fine. Just missing home."
"Let's take your mind off of it then, shall we?"
My smile grew and he led me a little further into a field. I finally saw the target he had set up and a bow and arrow. Well, two bows. One was smaller than the other, so I'm assuming that's going to be mine.
Dru picked both of them up, and like I expected, handed me the smaller one. "Have you ever done this before?"
"Never."
"Wonderful! Okay, firstly, and this is very important, that is your target over there."
I laughed and nudged him. "Thanks. I'll try to remember that."
"Are you right handed or–"
"Right handed."
He put his hands on my shoulders and turned me in the right direction, then gave me an arrow. "Now, raise the bow."
I did and he made adjustments so that I was doing everything properly.
"You have to take into account gravity and the wind. Luckily for you, there's not a lot of wind today. Not enough to really make a difference, anyway. Okay, deep breath in... and out, then release."
I followed his instructions, but the arrow barely made it onto the very edge of the target.
"Again, but make the proper changes."
I nodded and took the arrow from him and started again. Deep breath in and out, then release. That one was better. It was just outside the lines. Dru seemed to be surprised, but also very impressed. We started taking turns, and while he was very good (bullseye almost every time), I was far from consistent. It was a good distraction though, and having Dru around was helping a lot.
We took breaks to eat or just go riding. He showed me more of his city, but we kept going back to archery. It was a good outlet for all of my thoughts. You know, gives me something else to think about.
It was almost dinner when we heard the sound of a horse running towards us. We both turned to look and my eyes widened when I first saw Wayward, which of course meant Grant. I'm not sure Wayward had fully stopped before he was down and storming towards us.
"Does he seem a bit upset to you?" Dru mumbled.
"Very."
"With me, right?"
"Oh yeah."
"Lovely." Grant was maybe six feet away when Dru moved behind me, putting me in the middle. "Now hold on a minute before you jump to conclusions. Who's idea was it really to come here?"
He nudged me. "Well, yours technically."
"Aston!" he gasped.
"It was! I was going to go somewhere on my own, but you stopped me and had me come back with you."
"So you wouldn't be lost!"
Grant stepped forward, his fists clenched, and Dru ducked even further behind me. "I can't believe–"
"I sent you a letter! I knew you would panic when you realized she was gone, so I sent you a letter to let you know she's safe."
"A letter that didn't get to me until hours after you left."
"Grant, I'm fine."
"Leave us."
I tapped Dru on the shoulder as a sort of apology, and took a step, but Grant stopped me.
"Not you."
Dru shot me a smug smirk as he walked back to his house, and once he was beyond the trees, Grant stepped closer and wrapped his arms around me. It took me a solid ten seconds to process what was happening, not to mention the way my stomach was flipping at his touch. I'm not sure my breathing was as steady as it had been either. Not to mention how weirdly familiar this all felt.
"You didn't leave a note."
"I'm sorry, I–"
"I had to find out from the maids... my stomach dropped. I thought something had happened to you again."
"Again?"
"You vanished so suddenly from your world..."
"Right, well... I think I'm kind of stuck here until I remember exactly how it all happened."
He leaned back, but kept one of his arms wrapped around my waist. The other brushed my hair away from my face before returning to its original spot. "Why did you leave me?"
A piece of my heart broke at the sadness in his eyes. "I didn't leave you, I left everything else. It was too much."
"I could've taken you somewhere else."
"No... no, Grant you..." I shook my head and moved away from him. "Maybe I did leave you, too, because we can't be doing this. You're engaged–"
"You know how I feel about that."
"It doesn't change anything though. You're still engaged, and I'm... I'm still learning about my life. There's things back home, people, and I can't be doing this right now."
"People. You mean person. Max?"
"You're confusing me, and I needed time to figure everything out on my own. I still need time."
"You think this isn't confusing for me? I'm in love with someone that doesn't feel the same way about me, and I'm running out of time to–"
"Grant stop! You can't feel that way about me, okay? Look, I think..." I ran my hands over my face, then crossed my arms. I could barely meet his eyes. "I think that you should go back to the castle and I'll stay here. I'm clearly getting in the way when I'm there and... being here has been good for me."
He reached for me. "Don't send me away," he pleaded.
"After I remember everything, I'll come back to say goodbye, but that's it. That has to be it."
He ran a hand over his beard and started pacing. "To say goodbye?"
"I think it's what has to be done."
He stopped, his eyes burning with an intensity that scared me. "I won't say goodbye to you. I refuse."
"Then I won't come back at all."
He didn't seem shocked or even deterred by my promise. Even as he walked back to his horse it was like he knew I wouldn't follow through with it.
Like he knew something I didn't.