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Eunoia
/yoo-noy-uh/ (n)
-greek word for a pure, well-balanced mind and a good soul. 'Beautiful thinking.' A rather unique mind that draws you in.
-Aesthetic-
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Harry had spent the night at the studio, around brushes and paint cans, with intoxicating acrylic paint smell almost suffocating him, sleeping in the crampy couch, that usually serves as a seat for clients. Now that he's lying there, he starts thinking of how uncomfortable his clients must be all the time, he might have to change and buy a new one.
See...Him being a painter had always been his biggest dream, and he finally was, and although artists don't pay much, he still had managed to make a good living out of it. For the moment it's still a work in progress, but he thinks he's doing good all on his own. Maybe it was his fault he didn't tell Louis he had started his own thing yet, about the many girls being his clients, and not some whores he spent his nights and most of daytime with, but he had wished to tell him in the right time, when he had everything in a line, when the moment was right. This was a big deal for him, and he couldn't just blurt it out while they where having cereal and almost expired milk for breakfast in the kitchen table.
Louis was always pursuing him to be a better man, and he's finally in the right course, but even than his knobhead of a friend had the audacity to say he was wrong on something he was dead sure he was right. Maybe it was a bit of jealousy that made him think like that, but he knew the person Louis was currently dating was a fucking douche and he didn't deserve the time Louis had to give.
Harry huffed wiping a small tear as he ate another spoonful of ice cream.
And than he went as far as to say he was having one night stands with all his costumers who just came to his studio for a portrait or a specific order but since he hadn't settled his place yet, no proper office or work space, they need to meet him at random places, like the house or coffee shops. What shocked him more was that he even said girls...like:-"Hey motherfucker! If you still haven't noticed I like dick! "-And he wasn't even kidding, the fact he didn't label his sexuality didn't mean Louis could just assume he liked girls because THEY found HIM attractive.
Harry huffed again, totally into Romeo and Juliet playing on the screen.-"You've only known him for three days, you knob. Why the bloody hell would you kill yourself for him. I've known Lou Lou for 7 years and I'd totally kill him if he was a knobhead like Romeo and broke my heart like that."-His attention went back to Louis as he took another spoonful of ice cream.
"The obvious little shit."-His best friend who he was so obviously in love with. The smaller man he can literally wrap inside his arms and suffocate with adoration. The blind fucker who just couldn't understand he was blindly in love with. He'd literally tell him he loves him looking him dead in the eyes and the dumbass of his will still think its a friendly gesture and pat his back like the good lady-lad he was.
Harry felt like crying again, no amount of ice cream making him feel better as stared at the TV blankly.-"He's never gonna treat Louis like I would! None of his stupid dates will. I would be such a good boyfriend to him. I'd love him no matter what. Why can't he just see that I'm jealous! I'm gonna kill that boy if he breaks my Lou's heart! I'd never break his heart! I'd keep his heart so close to mine! Defend it from any harm."
Harry wiped his eyes again, pouting even deeper.-"Wanker!"
"He probably isn't even thinking of how much he damaged me...Why am I like this?! He sees me as a friend, nothing more."-He spoke to no one in person, and so he spent the night there, watching drama movies and eating half melted ice cream, literally freezing his whole body till no amount of blankets could warm him up for the night.
...
Louis woke up the next morning, he'd slept in the small armchair, and his toes where frozen, left out of the blankie he was, now, half covered with.
He checked the time. 10 am...Harry had not reached home last night. Louis sighted. Hoping Harry didn't spend the night doing anything reckless, alcohol or anything...Could Harry get into the wrong way that quick? He's seen people do things like that, young people are fragile, Louis realises.
He ignored the worries inside him. Hoping wherever he was he was safe. He went upstairs not bothering to take a shower, brushing his teeth and wearing a jumper really fast also ignoring the messy room of his. Something he promised he'd fix every morning before work, but than he'd come home tired and procrastinate it until he could breathe inside his room, or until Harry would clean up after him.
Once he was done with everything he went downstairs looking around for his car keys. He looked at the key-pot, at the drawers and even the couch. After a long search he gave up.-"Ugh! Harry!"-Of course Harry took them last night.-"I swear! If I find condom packaging in my car I'll kill you! And I'll search for hair strings!"-Louis said to no one in particular, and he knew that wasn't what Harry probably did with his car, he just needed a reason to be angry at him.
He than took an umbrella from the vase, one of Harry's weird colourful ones, he had a collection of those, bright colours and rainbows, he picked the most random and started to walk to work.
He lit a cigarette and enjoyed the rain drops fall on the ground with a satisfied smile. Louis loved rain. He loved everything about the Manchesters weather. Especially autumn and winter. While Harry was a spring and summer lover, and he hated rain as much as a cat hates water on their furry paws. Now that Louis thought about it, Harry and him had always been such opposite types, but throughout the years they'd just been so connected all disagreements aside. Like Harry being the hardworking one, the one who makes his bed every morning, the one who cleans the house every afternoon, the one who scrubs the bathroom tiles and does the laundry twice a week, the one to cook occasional dinners and wash the dishes, while Louis was the one who couldn't even clean after himself, who's only chores where washing his running shoes, making tea, and maybe a burnt toast or some lazy cereals for breakfast, but in the other side he was the one to pay most of their rent, buy the groceries when Harry asked him too and showed lists on his pockets. Everything was balanced in a way or another. They had made it work. As children and as adults at the same time.
Louis passes the bus station, he didn't take the bus to work however, he enjoyed the walk as he didn't do much of that now that he had a car of his own, so he walked peacefully pulling his jeans jacket tighter around his neck and breathing deeply the sharp cold air. Letting out some smoke from his cigarette.
Wonderful day to be alive.
He had started working two years ago, after he finished his drama major, he was currently working on a small drama course as a tutor for 10-16 years old kids. It was great teaching kids, his favourite place to be, around those manipulative and mischievous creatures. Louis knew his soul would always stay a child. Like Peter Pan, who never grows up, and that made working with kids, hanging out with his friends everyday.
His phone suddenly ringed, Louis took it out in hopes that it was Harry, but no, he looked at the caller ID and it was the boy he'd started talking a few weeks ago, and went on dates throughout that period of time.
He declined the call and placed the phone back on his pocket. He wasn't in the mood to give him justifications and explanations about why he didn't talk to him in two days. He didn't tell Harry about this, but he'd been too lazy to actually talk to this guy, and he was considering a ending the dating thing up, although they where just dating still, Louis felt no strong connection, like this one was no boy to take home to mother, and in that case, not worthy to waste his time on.
Louis took one last drag of the cigarette and threw it on a rain puddle, as he let the last drag of smoke out with his nose. With a little effort this could be a good day.
...
It wasn't a good day. Not at fucking all!
Louis opened the front door angrily, throwing the house keys on the corner of the counter, showing the umbrella down with the others, ignoring the presence of any person inside the flat or the fact his car keys where back at their respective place.
He cursed his shoes under breath as they wouldn't get out of his feet. He kicked them against the wall and inhaled a sharp breath deeply.-"Motherfucker!"-He cursed again as he walked heavily towards the living room.
Louis entered the living room, to find Harry sit on the couch with a glass of apple juice on his hand, his eyes looking at him apologetically as he followed every movement he made.-"Hi..."-He said with half of his voice.
Louis fell on the armchair loudly. As he sighted and curled up in a ball once more.
Harry watched his older friend lazily covered himself on the small blanket that was messily over the armchair.-"Lou..."-He tried to say, but he only got a grumpy voice from under the blanket in return, he collected himself and asked.-"You good?"
Louis removed the blanket from his face and threw his hands over it.-"Do I look good to you Harry? "-He asked angrily, not necessarily at him.
Harry gulped and nodded 'no'. He stood up and left with a mumble.
Such act making Louis huff.-"Leave. Of course leave. Than come home dead! Oh, because Louis doesn't care, why should I tell Louis I'm not dead, no I'll let him wonder till the next morning. I won't even text him to let him know. I'll also steal his car! Oh and smash the door on his face! Why not! Who is Louis anyway?! It's not like Louis' gonna care!"-Louis said loudly talking to the wall as Harry disappeared behind them.
Soon to come back holding a cupcake on his hand. He sat back down on the couch and handed Louis the cupcake, holding it shyly in front of him.-"I'm sorry."-He said softly, looking down at his feel.-"For being an arrogant son of a bitch...and for yelling at you...I only meant well, but I clearly passed my line...I'll go back behind the line and never cross it again...I'm terribly sorry."
Louis watched the scene in front of him with a shocked expression on his face. Deep on his consciousness, it felt like it should've been him apologising. Harry looked so broken...it hurt him to see Harry like this, and the words he said seemed like they'd be rehearsed a few times, but they weren't forced or anything, they sounded genuine coming out of him.
"You've clearly had a bad day, so it doesn't matter if you accept my apology, you can have the cupcake."-Harry added, holding it further closer to him.
Louis looked down at the cupcake, shiny liquid forming on his eyes. Harry is always so gentle with him, he's always been. How didn't he even acknowledge this before.
Harry started to get a bit of a bad vibe, he was feeling rejected as Louis had said no words. Harry bit his lip.-"Say something..."
Louis looked down at the rainbow themed cupcake and with a overly straight face said.-"Why is my cupcake gay?"
Harry laughed softly.-"I didn't know what flavour you'd like. It was the-only pretty looking cupcake in the whole pastry. It's pretty and well...gay, just like you."-He said making Louis smile wide.
Louis took the cupcake and held it on his palm.-"I don't know about pretty, but yeah it does create a connection to my tastebuds somehow."
Harry felt his dimples get deeper at the smiling face of his obnoxious friend.-"Eat it, there's more in the kitchen, not as pretty as this one tho."
Louis giggled as he took a bite of the very good looking sweet. He moaned softly at the taste.-"It even tastes good."
"I didn't put poison on it don't worry."-Harry chuckled as he passed a hand through his long hair trying to tame them down, humid days made his baby hair stand up and it was frustrating.
Louis had always found that movement very hot. Simple but effective to remind him that Harry, in fact, was a walking angel around his flat and not just some average flatmate he could had ended up with.
After Louis finished the last bite of the Rainbow cupcake and cleans his hands, he found himself sitting opposite to Harry again. This time they both had small smiles on their faces.
Harry coughed awkwardly to break the silence.-"So apology accepted?"
Louis huffed.-"Yeah...Although...you where right Haz. I should be the one to apologise for being a dick, but you might have some explaining to do about th-..."
'No problem at all! I love dick!'-Harry though.
Harry shook his head and the dirty thoughts.-"It's okay Lou, I understand. We'll talk about that once we have time. Back to our first argument, I'm sorry for calling your date a short dicked fucker. Shouldn't have said that about someone I barely know."
"No Harry. You where right. He is an asshole, a big one. I dumped his ass..."-Louis said softly sinking down on the blanket again.-"You must be happy I'm back to no-dating?"
Harry's eyes lit up, but he tried to contain his excitement.-"You did?! I mean...What happened?"-He said softly.
Louis huffed.-"Can I sit next to you?"
Harry nodded violently almost cracking his neck, too happy about this. Louis moved dragging his blanked with him as he sat down on Harry's side covering him with the blanket too.
"He's just such an idiot, he literally started asking for explanations as to why I didn't return his texts and opened his phone calls, and wouldn't understand sense when I told him..."
"That you have social disconnections sometimes. When you feel like not interacting or talking to anyone. Unless it's job or family, or a total emergency."-Harry completed his sentence.-"Yeah. Asshole, you did good to dump him."
Louis huffed. Harry could understand him so well. That's why he loved his best friend so much.-"Yeah..."-Now that he thinks of it, Harry was the only friend who understood him so well, out of all the others he hangs out with.
"Is that all why you're sad?"-Harry asked and hesitated before placing a hand on his hair and soothing the older boy. In far days in the past, Louis would do that to his fluffy curls, growing up they kinda grew physically distant for some reason.
Louis sighted again.-"No there's more H. One of the kids fell on stage today, she broke a wrist, and she has the important part of the drama, lead role actually, and the show is closing up and I'll have to replace her. I feel so bad for the poor girl, but I also felt bad for having to replace her."
Harry moved form the uncomfortable and compromised position and laid on the couch with Louis tucked over his chest as Louis started to explain how the little girl fell from the stage stairs after stepping on her role-dress.
Louis poured his sadness as he explained everything to Harry, holding him on a tight warm snuggle, they got comfortable too quickly. Harry was over the moon, and for some reasons so was Louis, who was comfortably laying his head on top of a madly beating heart, that he didn't realise was fluttering like a bird inside a tight cage.
He chuckled and looked up to find Harry look at him with a pair of very pleased green eyes.-"Hi."-Louis said chuckling and than smiling wide at his perplexed face.
Harry collected himself and flashed a quick smile, showing both his dimples making Louis heart unexpectedly jump.
Caring, beautiful creature.
Louis looked back down the room temperature having slightly shifted. They continued to snuggle, as the rain drops outside knocked on the window knowing the glass wouldn't let them inside. The night fell around quickly wrapping everything with its black silky vail, but the two boys couldn't leave each others arms, finally feeling the warmth they had been missing for days, months and even years.
With a merciless winter just behind the corner, cold breezes and tiring days that would follow it, they trusted the small flat to keep them safe from the outside world, where people who judge and stare at lovers who love each other for real, they trusted each other's arms, they always had. Friends to them wasn't just a word, it was much more, friends to them meant family, not bound by blood, but by unconditional love.
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