i see you
not just in the notifications
i see you when i sleep
it's heartbreaking
i know youll read this so here's what i have to say
the other day i dreamed you died
the first nightmare ive had in years
i held your dead body and i screamed and cried
before that night i thought i hated you
ever since then im overwhelmed with missing you
i have a therapist now
i told him about you
he tells me to think of our separation like a breakup
you know i don't handle those well
this doesn't feel like a breakup tho
it feels like a mistake
im crying as i write this
i miss you
i want to reach out and start over
from the beginning,
whenever we tried again we tried to jump right in
but i wonder,
would it even matter if we started over
or would it end the same
i miss you
i miss how we were
and even if it's not the same would it work?
i know they hate me
and you know that they hate you
but i don't care
you were my support system
then you left
im not mad anymore
im hurt
you never told me why
to me i saw you abandoning me like everyone else and i died inside
you remember that night you locked your keys in your car?
i told you that we would always have each other
and now we dont
i really want that again
i dont know if you do or not
and it's okay if you dont
but i had to say my peace and i am
i miss my best friend, i miss everything about you, the flaws and the positives i miss all of you and it kills me. we said we were the equivalent to best friend soulmates, i was your favorite sister and you were mine. i miss you and i think i always will
i love you buddy pal
always
i dont know if you have read this or not yet but I've unblocked you, I mean it I miss you. I find myself wanting to drive across the world just to see you again to tell you all of this. I feel like part of me is missing since you've been gone and I just had to tell you, I'm sorry... for everything