✧❀ peace ❀✧
☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆☽
Medha was under the assumption that meeting Noor today would be scary, or maybe even the slightest bit nerve-wracking considering she intends on baring her entire soul to her, but once she reaches Noor's house and finds that she's replaced the fancy script on her door for a much simpler font to read, all her worries instantly flood out of her.
She really did it. She changed the font for her.
Sure, it's still difficult to read it— most things are— but just the knowledge of Noor changing the sign on her door for her makes Medha's heart melt into a puddle.
She can't remember the last time anyone did anything specifically for her. To suit her needs. To make the world a simpler place to live for her.
And now, someone has done it. Coincidentally the same someone whom Medha has fallen head over heels for.
"I can do this," she mutters to herself, before repeating it in her head like a prayer, but she doesn't quite know who she's praying to. She just knows what she's praying for.
Noor to not laugh in her face. Noor to reciprocate her feelings. Noor to understand that she's never done a relationship— a relationship?— before, that she's never had a crush before, that she's never been so enraptured by someone as she is with her.
Noor to accept her.
All her quirks, all her days spent on fields, all her nights spent twirling her hair or humming or whistling for no apparent reason other than it makes her feel good, just... all of her.
Inhaling sharply, she raises her fist up to Noor's front door, poised to knock at it as the words, I can do this ceaselessly drum away at her brain— and she's so close to knocking, until the door swings open, only to reveal Noor.
And Medha doesn't know if it's even possible, but Noor seems to have gotten more beautiful since the last time they met.
Contrary to most days, today, there's no jewellery adorning her fingers, Medha realises, and quickly, she also realises that Noor, though stepping out of the house, is dressed for comfort.
God, if only the words that Medha has been repeating to herself for over twenty four hours would leave her mouth now.
Speak, her brain tells her, practically yells at her. You can just say it. Noor would be the last person to judge you, you can just—
"Medha, you're staring," is the first thing that Noor says to her, effectively knocking her out of her daze and cutting short her spiralling thought process. "Also, hi! I was just heading out, actually! Not anywhere special, just my backyard because I wanted to read for a little bit. Nutmeg's been sleeping all day— I hate to admit it, but I'm severely fond of the gremlin and I get painfully bored without her to entertain me. Sorry, I'm rambling, I've just been thinking about you all day. And yesterday. I think about you a lot." Interrupting herself with a laugh and a shake of her head, Noor grins brightly at Medha. "Anyway, what brings you to my home? Not that I mind, of course! You're welcome any time."
Again, Medha can't find it in herself to reply.
This time, it isn't because her mouth is lagging or because her brain refuses to co-operate with her.
This time, it's solely because of the I've been thinking about you all day.
'Me too,' Medha wants to say until Noor understands just how desperately she's been thinking about her and her kindness and her hands and her smile and her laugh and her laugh and her laugh.
Finally, finally, she musters up the courage to get some words out. They aren't a lot, they aren't even half of what she wants to say to Noor, but they're something.
"I... I wanted to see you."
Noor cocks her head to the side, thick eyebrows raising in confusion. And something else that Medha can't seem to put her finger on.
But before she can dwell on the facial expressions of Noor's, she's speaking once more, voice light as she holds up the book in her hand and adjusts the bookmark in her other.
"I'd never complain about you wanting to see me," she chimes, closing her front door behind her. "I've missed you. Just talking to you, generally being around you. But do you mind if we sit in my backyard? I've been holed up at home all day because— well, because I've been attempting to bake. I was going to come over to your place to give you some honey cakes, actually!" Honey. How fitting. "But then, they turned out awful and I cried for an hour over it before deciding that I would just come visit you. But now, you're here! Funny how that works.
For all the talking that Medha isn't doing, Noor seems to be taking her place by talking at a million miles an hour. And she can't be more grateful.
"Yeah," she mumbles, she doesn't know why the words refuse to leave her mouth now, but they just do. "Funny how that works."
But Noor isn't deterred by her lack of communication. If anything, she just perks up, offering her hand out for Medha to take it. "Sit with me in my backyard? You can tell me what you wanted to talk to me about."
So, Medha just nods, because the words still don't want to leave her mouth, just swimming in the depths of her brain. They've made their home there, she thinks. They're never going to emerge.
With her hand held firmly in Noor's— it abates the shaking of them, too, she realises—, they walk to the backyard, Noor sprawling out on the grass under her, powder blue hijab contrasting the lush green of the blades of grass.
And it's that image of Noor, sprawled out on the grass with a book in hand and a smile gracing her lips and a ray of sunlight gazing down upon her, making her more radiant than ever, that finally makes Medha speak again.
"Noor," she begins, to which Noor just hums, the sunlight making her eyes twinkle as she looks back at Medha. Or maybe it isn't the sunlight, and maybe it's just that her eyes are always twinkling. Medha wouldn't be surprised if that were the case. "I have something to tell you."
If Medha were the one to hear those words from anyone at all, she would have spiralled into a helix of overthinking and wondering what she's done wrong and what she's being berated for.
Noor, however, does the exact opposite.
She just sets her book down, flower-pressed bookmark sliding into the spine of the book, and she gazes up at Medha with wonder-waiting eyes. Not a sign of overthinking behind them.
"Go ahead," she urges, patting the patch of grass beside her for Medha to sit. "I'm all ears."
How do I begin? From where do I begin?
Just as she's about to chicken out, tell Noor that the reason she's come all the way here to Elderwich Avenue for is just to tell her that she's missed Nutmeg— which isn't entirely a lie—, a voice in the back of her mind speaks up.
It's the same one that's been swimming around for so long. The same one that's repeating, Your attraction towards Noor outweighs your doubt. You know she likes you. And God knows, you like her. You more-than-like her. She's beautiful and you deserve beautiful things too.
And just like that, all the words that have been swimming— drowning— in the waters of her mind, break their way up to the surface. And she's letting all the thoughts flow out of her.
"I like you, Noor," she confesses, and suddenly, the water building up in her lungs recedes, makes its way down to her abdomen. "I think you're... beautiful. And so smart and so kind. I saw the sign on your door— you changed the font. You're so easy to like, and liking you feels like sunshine and warmth and everything good in the world." It's down to her knees now. "You're such a kind person, you always listen to everything I say, and I just— I want to know you. I want to know you more than I already do, and—"
The waters rise to her abdomen again. But one look at Noor and her ever-patient, tender gaze, and she pushes through.
"This is—" Cutting herself off with a laugh, she shakes her head, the small flowers she'd stuck in her hair before making her way over to Noor's house tumbling to the ground beside her. "This is really hard for me," she admits quietly, arms snaking their way around her knees. "I'm not good with emotions. I feel too much and I fall too much. I'm— I'm excited easily and I cry easily, and I have a hard time letting people know how I feel. An... extremely hard time."
Noor deserves good things. I'm a good person. Noor is a good person, and I deserve good things too.
"But I really like you." The water is at her ankles. She can tread normally now. "You're funny, your eyes are the most beautiful stars I've ever seen in my life, your cat is adorable and you care so much about people, it's unbelievable. Oh, and you're a lesbian. That's always a bonus!"
What am I talking about?
"Anyway, not the point. The point is that I... like you, Noor. And I'd love to spend more time with you. I'm still having a hard time accepting my feelings— I've never had to deal with emotions this strong, but I know that I like you enough to want to be around you more often. You and your awful baking and your apple trees that I stole from and your everything. I just— yeah."
And finally, she's on dry land. There's no more drowning under the weight of her own thoughts, there's no more fear of the water lapping at her ankles, there's just Noor. Noor and her sunshine and her book and her flower-pressed bookmark.
And her smile. Her smile that's only growing wider as she says—
"Well, I thought I made it quite clear how I feel about you, Medha." Laughing quietly, she inches closer to Medha, such that their knees are brushing against each other. "You're such a sweet person, of course I like you. I've liked you ever since you promised to knit a whole tablecloth for me because you felt bad for stealing."
"Oh?" Medha asks, it comes out as a whisper.
"Mhm," Noor agrees, laying her head on Medha's shoulder and murmuring, "You have such a big heart. I love when you go on tangents about how much you love the little goats outside your house and your parents who live a few streets away. You have so much love inside of you and... honestly, you're beautiful. In every sense of the word. I would love to spend more time with you. I'd love to spend all my time with you."
When Medha first approached Noor's door, she hadn't known what her reaction would be to the speech that she had prepared in her mind.
Maybe a laugh and a pitiful, Sorry, Medha, you're a little much to handle, or an awkward, I know I said I like girls, but that doesn't mean I like you. Maybe a complete avoidance of the subject altogether.
Not this.
However, for once, her mind isn't screaming, ABORT MISSION or Shut down and never speak again when it processes Noor's words.
It's at peace.
"That's—" Laughing softly, almost incredulously, Medha shakes her head, because this is Noor. She's beautiful. And she's finally realised that maybe, just maybe, she deserves beautiful. "That's cool. That's... Yeah, that's great. Good to hear. Uh— how do we—? How does this work? What do we—"
"Medha," Noor interrupts gently, placing a hand on top of her knee. "Do you know what love languages are?" she asks, to which Medha just frowns and shakes her head.
"I don't know much of anything, if I'm being honest," she informs, and maybe she should feel ashamed about it, but when she's around Noor, she doesn't feel the need to be ashamed. Not when Noor has never made her feel bad for it. "What are they?"
Noor hums, the glimmer in her eyes only growing. Medha recognises that look— it's the one she gets when she talks about her interests. She never knew it looked so... endearing.
"They're... They're ways that you express your care for a person," she explains. "You know how some people— by some people, I mean that you're one of those people as well— don't really express their love in words? Well, everyone has different ways to expressing their care for people. There's words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, acts of service, and receiving gifts," she rattles off, and all Medha can think is, I've never found you more beautiful than I do right now. I think I'm going to think that every time I see you.
"Well, those are the official ones," Noor continues, oblivious to Medha's immensely queer thoughts. "But essentially, what I'm trying to say is... Everyone has different ways of showing people that they care. There is no one size fits all, and we definitely don't have to adhere to what everyone else thinks is the right way to show that they care."
There's so much that Medha wants to say in reply to that. She has so many thoughts, as usual, ranging from Your words are poetry and even though I don't read, I want them plastered on the walls of my house to Is this what it feels like to care for someone so deeply?
Instead, all she says is, "Oh."
Noor laughs. "Oh, indeed." Then, she picks up her book from the ground, miniature blades of grass stuck to the cover as she begins to open it. "Well, my love language just happens to be acts of service," she muses, eyes scanning the open book. "Can I read to you?" Yes. Yes. Yes. "It's a book my mother wrote for me when I was younger— barely seven. Even though it's not exactly a long read, I read it every time I'm seeking comfort. So, can I read it to you?"
God, Medha doesn't know for how long she's been waiting for someone to accommodate to her. To care for her.
"Yes," she says, her voice is hoarse and a little choked up, but she doesn't care. Noor is allowed see every little crevice of her. "Yes, you can read to me. I'd love that."
So, Noor begins, her voice a gentle cadence of major chords and resolved notes. "Once upon a time— yes, it's that kind of story. I was seven. Anyway, once upon a time, there lived a prince and a princess—"
No.
"Wait," Medha interrupts at once, cheeks flushing in embarrassment. But then, she makes eye contact with Noor and just like that, all of it melts away. Quietly, she says, "Can you change that to princess? Two princesses?"
Yes.
Noor smiles. Her gaze flickers down to Medha's hands. She interlocks their fingers together.
And she begins again.
"Once upon a time, there lived a princess, and a princess..."
☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆☽
fin.
+2580
AN: and we're done !!!!
thank you all so much for reading this little self-indulgent cottagecore story of mine with my two favourite women. i know that updates for this book were the Opposite of regular, but i appreciate you all so much for sticking around and being so unbelievably patient and understanding <3
this book was . pure comfort for me to write, if i'm being honest— and i hope it was comforting for some of you to read as well!!
i know that this is just a novella and i Wish i could write more about these two because they have my whole heart, but i think . i'll let them figure things out on their own now 😋💓
stay tuned for my dark academia enemies to lovers if ur interested !! it's the complete opposite of this book, but i hope we'll enjoy it regardless :,)
side note! there's a playlist for this book titled 'in bloom' on my spotify which is in my bio !! it's very gay 👩❤️💋👩
again, thank you all so much for reading, i love and appreciate you all so much ❤️
23,000+ words in total.