Kathryn and JJ don't talk about what happened that night. Or at least, not with words, but they keep stealing glances at each other, thinking they're slick when Pope and Kie clearly see what's going on. There's always something going on anyway.
Somewhere, she knows she hurt him when she said their situation was 'embarrassing'. He doesn't have to mention it every so often for her to know – he still does – she saw it on his face. What she meant was, it's frustrating and embarrassing the way they keep turning around each other like freaking idiots without being able to do anything about it. They would be if Kathryn let them, but she can't. The time isn't right, neither are the reasons. Maybe she's a bit of an overachiever, trying to get the perfect timing, or maybe she doesn't want her first experience after what happened to be tainted by whatever situation they're in. She chooses to believe the former...
And anyway, it's not like they're going to be talking about it right this very second, as they're going to be paddling in what is, most likely, shit. Obviously, searching the storm drain was going to be gross, but the smell is a bit much.
"This is the north drain," JJ tells them as they arrive at the place. "It should've gotten washed into the gully. So, if it got flushed out from this drain," he says, pointing to it, "it would've been pushed out to, like..."
Kathryn stares at the water beneath them. "Somewhere in the poo water."
The giggle that JJ lets out makes everyone turn to him with concerned faces. "'Poo wotah'," he repeats. He waits for Kathryn to say something. "No? Doesn't have the same effect on you?"
She stares. "Kill yourself."
"Definitely not a turn on then."
"Know who should die?" Kie chimes, wanting nothing more than to direct the conversation elsewhere. "People who use plastic. They should be shot."
Kathryn refrains herself from pointing out that her beaded necklace is technically plastic. No need to be petty.
"Okay, personally, I love plastic," JJ says as he and Pope start searching the water. "Use it every day. Love the stuff."
Kie frowns at him. "Hopefully you recycle it and don't let it flush into the ocean."
Pope nods and gets something out of his pockets. "I thought you'd say something like that, so... trash bags."
Kathryn sends a look to JJ only to find him already staring. Whatever is happening here has been going on for a while, and it won't end well.
Kie's face lights up. "Did you just proactively protect the environment?"
"Maybe."
"Hitting on you one global warming at a time," the Darcy girl hums under her breath.
JJ clears his throat. "You want us to leave you two alone, or what's going on?"
Pope throws him a trash bag. "Like twenty seconds ago you two were talking about what turns you on, please let us have this. Just pick up the trash."
They do, for god knows how long. Kathryn wants to take a minimum of three showers when she gets home, to take all the disgusting stuff the water has off of her. That and the rancid smell of sweat. In fact, she wants to douse all of them with hoses and soap and jam some scented candles up her nose.
The plus side is that there's no plastic anymore. The downside is that there's no gun either.
"Well, that was fun," JJ lets out, throwing the last trash bag.
If it's not in the gullet, then there's only one place it can be, really. "It's still stuck in the drain," Kathryn lets out.
JJ purses his lips. "It's in... it's in the drain."
"That's what I just said."
"Damn it."
"Because of course it is. We can't have nice things."
JJ starts shuffling in his bag. "Good thing I brought the crow."
She stares at him, reminiscing on this morning's argument outside her dad's office. "I... I told you to bring it. The crow's here because of me."
"Mmmh... Is it though?"
"Yes it is. The crow was literally my dad's, it was in his office. We broke in? Remember?"
"It's your word against mine."
"It's going to be my heel against your balls–"
"So," Kie lets out, "ignoring the disturbing conversation that just happened, are we gonna do like, rock, paper, scissors?"
JJ immediately shakes his head. "No."
"Or alphabetically?"
"Nah." He focuses back on the grid leading inside the drain. "On three, Pope. One, two, three."
They get the entrance clear for them to go in. "Or, like, the oldest goes?"
"I'm in," Kathryn lets out, pushing up the sleeves of her maroon turtleneck. It's getting stuffy in the afternoon heat of the OBX. "Besides, I won't get in there with those white velvet shorts. Pope, let's go, love."
The fact that she was born on the seventeenth of december played absolutely no role in her answer. Pope sends her a bewildered look. He was born in early january.
"In the sewer, there's this worm that you get when you're down there," JJ starts.
"Please don't finish that sentence."
"It gets into your blood and then it has to come out your pecker."
Kathryn frowns. "That's not how worms work."
"So, uh... that would be a hard pass for me."
Pope still looks like he's going to throw up. "Yeah, that's gonna be a no for me."
Kie stares at the three in front of her, before shrugging. "No, I get it. I get it, you guys are scared. It's kind of cute."
As the boys start to deny what she said, a surge overcomes Kathryn, and she smirks. "You saying I'm scared?"
Memories of a vertigo-ridden little girl climbing on top of a climbing structure and dangling by her feet before falling immediately come to mind. JJ shakes his head. "Don't even think about it."
She shrugs. "Dare me and I'll go in there quicker than that worm."
His eye twitches as he pictures it. "Nah, I won't, because you have no regard for your own safety."
"That's bloody rich coming from the one who robbed a drug dealer, but go on?"
He sucks in a breath. "Nevermind. Go in there and choke on the shit water."
"I'll do it," Kie cuts in.
Kathryn is about to agree whole-heartedly – she doesn't actually want to get in a sewer, believe her or not – but something in the way Kie said it brings Kathryn back to an SBI tent, it's rain, the patter of the rain is clouding her mind and John B is leaving without looking behind.
Her hand is on Kie's wrist before she can crawl in. Kie turns to her, frowning, baffled that Kathryn would touch her of her own free-will.
"Don't leave," she all but blurts out. The words are out before she can register them, rushed. "I'll go. Don't leave us."
Kie doesn't get it. She gets the concern, sure, because she is going to get an infection in there and she already wants to scrub herself clean at the thought, but Kathryn's reaction has nothing to do with that.
"Kat, c'mon," she says, chuckling. "We owe you after the whole vault thing, it's okay. Besides, you don't do well in confined spaces."
She moves to get in again, but Kathryn won't let her go. "Kie. I'm serious. Let me do it."
Kie's endeared smile drops and she looks back at JJ first. He seems as clueless as her. But the thing is, Kiara knows how much Kathryn has been taking on since John B went missing. Whether it was out of guilt or not – she was the one they all turned to if they had something. She offered Kie a bed when she couldn't bear to look her parents in the face and see that they didn't believe them... She was going to make it up to her.
"I'm not letting you do this," Kie maintains. "End of story."
Kathryn blinks at the tone of her voice. It breaks her out of her guilt stained memories, and she lets go of Kie, that unsettling feeling dropping in her stomach with that usual weight it bears.
"Be careful," she still lets out.
Kie smirks. "I'll be so careful."
She lowers herself to the ground and starts crawling in the pipe. Kathryn doesn't know how she does it – the smell alone could make her retch.
JJ leans forward next to her. "Just, uh, holler if you need anything, okay? We'll uh... we'll holler back."
"Very helpful, thank you!" Kie cries back at him.
As soon as she's out of sight, Pope turns to Kathryn. "What was that? Because me personally, I wasn't going anywhere near the drain."
Kathryn side-eyes him. "I'm sorry if I didn't want my friend to go down a worm-infested drain."
"Ha!" JJ cries out. "You agree there's worms in there!"
"You got in my head now I'm traumatised," she retorts.
She knows a thing or two about PTSD. With everything that's happened to her, it'd be a bloody wonder if she didn't. She has those flashbacks with Rafe – she has them with Max now. She pictures the blood, the coppery scent...
And she can hear John B telling her he has to leave. Not that she's going to tell anyone.
Not like JJ doesn't already know.
He pays attention, what can he say? He notices those kinds of things about her. The way her eyes grow distant, muscles spasming in tension. Her hands always reach for something. Sometimes, he daydreams that it's his hand they're waiting for.
And then he slaps himself inwardly, because that's cringey as fuck.
Kathryn looks back at the drain to distract them. "Kie, babe, you found anything yet?"
"Yeah, Kie, do you see the gun?" JJ joins her.
Kiara's response comes from deep inside. "Nothing."
"It's probably at the bottom of the catch basin," Pope tells her.
JJ straightens back up, and sets the crowbar on top of the drain. Kathryn watches as he eyes Pope intently. She rolls her lips inside her mouth. This is going to be like that moment in Kie's car, and she might join her in the drain.
"All right, bro, I see you vibing on Kie, okay?" he starts. Pope turns to Kathryn for help, but she stubbornly scratches her knee. "Give me the details. Are we talking first base, second base, third base?"
"The coveted tenth base where I kill myself," she hums.
"We're not even in the same ballpark," Pope says, and she stops herself from telling him how right he is.
"What do you mean by that?" JJ asks, hoping that he'll reach that conclusion by himself.
"It's like we're not playing the same game."
"Or you play for different teams," Kathryn says. It goes unnoticed. Well, at least she tried.
"The other night," Pope goes on, "she was all over me, and..."
"Good start," JJ enthuses, earning himself a dubious glare from the girl.
"But she was wasted," Pope says. "So it doesn't really count."
Kathryn nods. "Maybe she doesn't like our dorky Pope?"
"Yes, so I tried to be edgy, out-there Pope, and she didn't like that either. Then I tried to be straight-laced Pope, she didn't like that!"
JJ takes off his cap, running a hand in his hair. "Man, I don't even know why I'm giving you relationship advice."
"Me neither," she says, still focused on her knee.
"Maybe tell me what not to do..." Pope trails on.
JJ makes a face. "Dude, I don't know. Just... wait for her."
Kathryn shakes her head. "Don't wait," she counters. "She wouldn't want you to be hung up on her over something that might never happen. She'd never ask that of you." The words taste like the bitter truth.
There was a reason why the agreement was never about waiting for her to get better. It was always about staying friends no matter what, no matter how they feel, because Kathryn doesn't know if they'll ever be a time where being intimate with someone won't make her sick to her stomach, where she won't stop herself because she's so scared it's for the bad reasons, just like it once was...
JJ takes the hint. "Well maybe she doesn't have to ask him to because he already is."
"Okay, well, that wouldn't be on her," she says, arching an eyebrow. "Because she warned him that nothing might happen."
"But something might," he immediately retorts. "And he'd look real stupid if he didn't act on that considering he's been 'hung up on her' since they were kids."
Pope frowns. "No I haven't?"
They blink at him, realising that, at some point, the conversation was supposed to be about him and Kie. "Well, you could've been," JJ tries to save.
To be fair, Kathryn never even had to ask him to wait. He was always going to. He doesn't really care that it might take forever. In fact, he doesn't even care that it might not work if it does happen. He knows himself – he already has trouble comprehending the fact that Kathryn, Kathryn Elizabeth Darcy, chose him of all people – so clearly, it won't end well. The second the possibility becomes real, it'll open a whole other can of worms...
The kind where his father kept telling him that the only reason someone like a Darcy would hang out with them was because she pitied them. She pitied him. That if something ever happened, he'll ruin her, just like he does everything else.
But, again, that's not even the problem at the moment.
"Kie's been very specific on what she wants and doesn't want," Kathryn goes on. "There are good and bad reasons to do things, and right now, the good does not outweigh the bad."
"Kie never said that," Pope lets out.
"She could've said that!"
They stay silent for a handful of minutes, Pope figuring that this conversation was never about him and Kie. Actually, he kind of dreads what it was about in the first place.
"Guys, I think I found something!" Kie screams from deep inside the drain.
"Wait, you got it?" JJ screams back. "You got the gun?"
"Is it the gun?" Kathryn yells when there's no answers.
"Pope! Pope! Oh my god!" Doesn't sound like she found the gun. "You guys, there's something dead in here!"
Immediately, a frenzy seizes the group and they all start yelling, Kathryn's stomach falling into an endless pit.
"Like a person?!"
"A corpse? There's a corpse?"
She screams again, high-pitched. "Oh my god! There's something dead. I repeat, there is something dead in here!"
"Kie don't touch it, that's how you get worms!"
"Touch it?" Kathryn glares at him. "What is she going to do? Finger the corpse?"
"Did you find the gun? Is it Gavin?"
They have to get a grip, because Kie has it a hundred times worse in the sewer, with a dead body, which might be Gavin, and they still have to focus on finding the gun to clear John B.
"Kie? Babe, do you see anything beside the corpse?"
"You guys owe me for life!"
JJ swats Kathryn's shoulder, before raising his hands to his head. "What if Ward put Gavin in the sewer, dude?"
Kathryn grabs his hands and shoves them down. "Please, stop saying it's Gavin."
"Guys, shh," Pope chastises.
"But it'd make so much sense," JJ maintains.
"Kie barely fit in the drain, how would it work for Gavin?"
He stares at her. "Yeah, no, okay. Thanks."
"Do you hear that?" Pope asks them.
They stop and turn to him. "What?"
They get closer to the drain. There's a low humming, some sort of gurgling.
"Guys?" Kie calls. "Guys, the water!"
Someone is flushing the drain, Kathryn realises. Her thoughts rush in her brain, too fast for her to get what it means, but enough for her to react. At the speed at which the sound becomes louder, if no decision is made in the next second, Kie could die. She could drown.
She could drown like John B, she left because she wouldn't let her do this–
Kathryn is inside the drain before she can think about it. She hears Pope and JJ scream after her, but the gushing of the rising water around her is too loud for her to hear them anymore.
The water is rushing against her waist, pushing her back. The ground is slippery, she feels things hit her thighs, but she only focuses on the screams Kie is making a little further down.
By the time Kathryn reaches the catch basin, she's immersed and has to push herself out using the ladder leading to a manhole.
Kie tugs her up, hoists her on the ladder, screaming out of her mind. "What are you doing here? Kat, you're fucking insane!"
She is. In fact, she must be, because there's no way they're getting out of there alive, at the speed the water is rising. It's already up to her neck.
Kathryn coughs out the water in her mouth. "No one gets left behind anymore. Not after JB."
"So we're going to drown together?" she screams above the water flow. "Kat!"
"Kie! I'm not leaving you alone." She hugs her for a few seconds before they climb up, the water rising. "Now help me push the lid off!"
🐝
"So, how does it feel?" Billy asks her brother, holding his arm. "Getting married to those cheeseburgers?" Henry promised her he'd make some at dinner tonight.
"I'm pretty sure I'm marrying the man..." he hums.
She shrugs. "I don't know. I wouldn't."
He sends her a knowing look, to which she shrugs, innocent. They went walking for a bit after spending the day setting up the counter at the bakery. It's coming together – slowly, but surely.
Then, he tried to buy her one of those flowy sage green dresses she so dearly loved, but she refused. Him and Henry are already paying her tuition, she'll start working soon enough. Then, she'll buy all the dresses she wants.
Something bubbles to their left. Frowning, the siblings turn to look at a manhole, filled to the brim with rushing water.
"I guess they're flushing the ocean drain," Max lets out. Something shiny catches his eye. "Oh, wait, that handle would look so pretty on the bakery's door..."
Billy lets his brother go. She's about to roll his eyes fondly and follow him, but she hears a distant voice. She recognises it.
"You're stupid! You're like, clinically insane!"
"I know!"
Okay, that sounds like Kitty. Billy knows her voice, and the accent gives her away from the get go. She doesn't know where it's coming from... She told her before going to school that they would look for the gun Rafe used to shoot Max and Peterkin somewhere in the ocean drain. Which makes her think that it's what they're currently flushing...
And that the fact Kathryn's voice is coming from the manhole is no wonder.
She did not, she immediately thinks. But wouldn't she? There's no time to answer, Billy is already rushing forward, up the road – if someone is flushing the drain, it's located at the top of the street.
When she gets there, she slows down, anxiety tugging at her stomach. Rafe Cameron is flushing the drain.
Billy never did well with violence. Or bad mouthing. Or confrontation or anything like that. In fact, it makes her want to run the other way but she can't, because Kathryn wouldn't. Kathryn would tell Rafe to eat shit.
"Stop!" Billy cries out, grabbing his attention. He looks like a wild goose. "There are people inside!"
Rafe knows that whoever that kid is, she's grabbing attention, directing it towards him. Even in his blind rage, he knows that it can't be good for him, but he needs the gun, he needs it to offer it to his dad, and–
"Kathryn's in there!"
She's not sure why she even said that. From what Kathryn's told her of what happened – he had tried to find excuses, to talk to her. Maybe somewhere in his twisted brain, he thinks they're friends or some fucked up shit that might make him stop.
He does. He looks at her, and starts turning the wheel the other way, closing the valve. Billy doesn't want to know why. This is the man who shot her brother, who raped her sister, she'll be damned before she ever tries to humanise him in any way.
He looks back at her when he's done. She's transfixed with fear. She leaves, runs away, doesn't say thank you. She owes him nothing, not a drop of her overflowing compassion, and she never will.
Billy runs around like a crazed rabbit. She hopes that Kathryn and whoever is inside with her were smart enough to get to the closest manhole, and try to climb up.
She thanks her lucky stars when she sees two pairs of tanned hands reach up. Coming up the other way are Pope and JJ, running at least as fast as she is.
They nearly collide into each other when they reach the manhole, getting on their knees to try and pull the cover of the manhole out, to get Kathryn and Kiara out of there.
"Pull! Pull it!" Kiara screams. From under it, she tries to push as hard as she can. The water is to her neck now.
"Hurry! Guys, hurry!" It's getting in Kathryn's mouth. "JJ! JJ, please! JJ!"
She blindly reaches for him, fingers searching for him. JJ's arms are screaming in pain, feeling like they're ripping from the inside,
"We're gonna get you out I swear to god! Pull!"
"Jay–"
The rest of the sentence is gurgled as she's immersed completely, hair floating up and sticking to their fingers as they keep pulling and pulling, urgency and adrenaline doing most of the work to keep them going.
The seconds pass, too slow, tugging as Billy can see Kiara's fingers slipping out of reach.
Billy lets out a mangled cry, somewhere between a groan and a sob as tears gather in her eyes – the lid finally gives, and they push it away, water gushing everywhere, the girls springing out of the hole.
Kiara reaches up, and Billy catches her, hoisting her up. Pope is quick to help, and she thinks he might cry in relief.
Next to them, JJ lifts Kathryn out, and she crashes against him, both out of breath. She drops to the side and retches, the taste of the water in her mouth making her sick. His hands rub her back, never leaving her again. At least for a few moments, he has to make physically sure that she's here and not washed up at the end of the storm drain.
"Pope, get off me. Pope, get off me!" Kiara cries out, coughing and gagging as he hugs her.
Billy catches her glance, and she pants. Kiara looks disgusting – so does Kitty. There's something shining in her eyes, still.
"Are you okay?" she asks softly. "You almost died."
Kiara doesn't even know what she's doing here. Still, she's not stubborn enough not to admit that she's thankful for it. "I'm... okay."
Billy smiles at her, blinding. What is it about her–
"KD, you good?"
Kathryn turns to JJ, wiping her face of the filth, the mask she keeps up at all times. She drops against him, forehead against his cheek, heaving. "I'm fine." She doesn't move, just basking in anything but the sewer scent – something with the smell of sunscreen, sea salt and lemon washing powder. She pinches his bicep. "You need to work out more."
Kiara smirks at Billy's smile, and Billy can't believe her eyes as she fishes for something tucked in her jean shorts. "This wasn't what we were looking for, right?"
She's got the gun in her hand.
"You're shitting my dick," Kathryn breathes out. "I'm so glad I didn't swallow people's shit for nothing."
"Never say it like that again," Kie lets out, retching.
They start laughing, Kathryn taking out one of JJ's bandanas around her wrist and handing it to him so he can wrap the gun in it.
"We're gonna get that son of a bitch, man," he lets out, chuckling in disbelief.
Billy watches as they help each other up, before JJ tugs all of them in a hug. She smiles fondly, if not with concern. This was nothing like the safe plan Kathryn told her about. This was nothing like the safe story Kathryn recounted. She almost died – both her and Kiara. Even if she didn't want to be involved, she's not sure she has a choice anymore, not if it always boils down to this.
She knows that maybe they won't be especially happy about her learning whatever they're doing, but this is too much. She has to do something.
"Hey, look," she speaks up, Kathryn tilting her head towards her. "I'll cover for you with Max and Henry." He must be so confused, walking out the store to see that she's gone, it breaks her heart. "But I'm going to need an explanation."
Her friend blinks. "Right, yes."
"With, like, a powerpoint. Because you just almost died."
"No, I get it," she says, pursing her lips.
"I'm thinking a hundred slides, minimum."
"Do I look like an under-paid university teacher?"
"We're going to the police station first," Kiara speaks up. "And then a billion showers."
Billy steps away, figuring that she can't be a part of this. "Sure."
Kiara eyes her. She's still suspicious, but... "I guess you can come."
Billy's smile rivals the sun. Kathryn sends her a knowing look.
They have the gun. They're going to clear John B's name. For a second, everything is okay.
Author's Note:
KD was dying in the drain and meanwhile with Pope and JJ
Pope: okay how do you get the girl?
JJ: lmao just because i'm with kd doesn't mean i know how i did it
Editor's Note: Right so in the first draft I had Kathryn go inside the drain but then I changed it to display a healthy dose of PTSD
And yes so sorry for the lack of update? In exchange have this extremely long chapter (litterally double of usual) because I felt like the last week was a remake of a series of unfortunate events like I moved back to France, then someone in my family died, then I got sick, and then I got my periods and thought I was going to die. (One of those is a lie. I was definitely about to die.)