(A/N) hi sorry idk
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Jack, filming himself: In my experience, Adam can be very upset sometimes when I bother him, so it's important that I take all the necessary precautions when approaching.
Jack, bursting into Adam's room while blowing an air horn: GET F*CKED.
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Adam, trying to be inspirational: Stop saying "I wish" and start saying "I will"!
Jack: I will I had a burrito.
Ryan: I will I was dead.
Adam:
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Jack, in the hospital: Any news?
Adam: The doctor is waiting for your x-ray.
Jack: But I've never dated anyone named Ray.
Adam:
Adam: I'll let them know you need a brain scan as well.
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Cat, on the phone with Ryan: Babe, I'm breaking up-
Ryan: I'M PREGNANT!
Cat: ......I meant the phone.... What the fu-
Ryan: Right, sorry, I panicked.
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Jack, close to tears: My heart is telling me yes, but Adam is telling me no.
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Adam on a regular basis: Why Netflix and chill when you can YouTube and cry?
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Ryan: I don't think we can manipulate, mansplain, or malewife our way out of this one, guys.
Jack, holding up a bat: Alright, manslaughter it is then.
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(Before they were dating)
Cat, drunk and sobbing on the table: I try to tell Ryan I love him but he's so dense and he never understands!
Ryan, patting her back: ........ When did you meet someone else named Ryan?
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Adam: When I was little I always felt something pass over me when I was trying to sleep at night.
Austin: It was the consequences of your actions.
Ezra: The utter guilt that came from your choices.
Jack, quietly: It was me. I used to sneak to your part of the bed for cuddles.
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(Adam on Twitter)
Adam: How to get fans to appreciate me?
Adam: Wait, this isn't google. How do I delete this?
Ryan, on the ajrbrothers account: Real f*cking smooth bro.
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Jack: Can we sneak into the concert?
Adam: ..... This is literally our concert.
Jack and Ryan: But can we sneak in?
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Cat: Everytime I see Ryan my heart clenches and I get all nervous.
Alba: That's because you love him. That happens to me around Jack.
~
Ryan: Everytime I see Cat my heart clenches and I get all nervous.
Jack: Don't go near her then, you seem to be allergic.
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(When they were kids)
Jack, angry: I hate you.
Ryan: Well, according to this picture I drew of all of us holding hands, that is untrue.
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(In the future)
Person on the other end of the phone: We have your kid.
Ryan: Oh no! What are your demands?
Person: What? No. This is Winter's teacher. You didn't pick him up from school.
Ryan, rushing out the door: Oh, f*ck-
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(Texting)
Ryan: *sends voice message*
Adam: I'm a little busy right now, is it urgent?
Ryan: Oh, don't worry about it!
*Later*
Adam: *presses play*
Ryan's recorded message: ADAM FOR THE LOVE OF GOD HELP, JACK F*CKING SET THE APARTMENT ON FIRE-
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(Jack babysitting Winter in the future)
Winter: Will you check under my bed for monsters please?
Jack: Look, kid. I appreciate your confidence in me but if there is a monster, it's gonna kill us both.
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Jack: I'm a ventriloquist.
Arnetta: Really? Are you any good?
Arnetta: The best.
Arnetta: Wait, what the f*ck-
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Ryan, obviously scared: I don't think that was a regular rat you just let out.
Adam: That was Jack. He got stuck in his closet again. Of course it wasn't a regular rat.
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Ryan: I think I'm coming down with something, I feel nauseous.
Jack: Maybe you're pregnant.
Ryan:
Adam:
Adam: I don't know who's the bigger idiot right now. Jack because he suggested it, or me because I nearly had a heart attack.
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Genie: You have 17 wishes.
Adam: Isn't it usually 3?
Genie: Well, yeah but, *gestures to Adam's entire being* lotta issues here.
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People who hate AJR: Welcome to the f*ck AJR club, where we say f*ck you to AJR and their sh*tty music!
AJR haters: Would our newest members like to say anything?
AJR fans: ....w-we might've misunderstood the purpose of this club.
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Adam, during rehearsal: Man, I've been so clumsy today. I keep bumping into things. I have so many bruises, it's not even funny.
Ryan and Jack who broke into Adam's room and moved his stuff two inches to the left: Damn, that's crazy.
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(When Adam was in highschool)
Adam: I ate all of my lunch at school, and half of my friend's lunch.
Ryan: Didn't your friend want their lunch?
Adam: When someone offers me food I don't ask questions.
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Jack: You f*ckers don't know about my knife stick. It's a knife taped to a stick and it's the ultimate weapon.
Adam: That's a spear.
Jack, trying not to cry: I don't want to talk to you anymore.
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Some guy at a party: Subs are so fun to play with. All you have to do is hint at what you might do, or back them into a corner with a certain look, or grab their wrist and then they're a wide-eyed mess.
Adam: The f*ck kind of Subway is he going to?
Ryan and Jack: That's not.... What he means.
Adam, gasping: Substitute teachers must deal with so much sh*t then.
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(Texting)
Ryan: Please tell me you got home safely.
Jack: I got home dangerously.
Ryan: Stop.
Jack: I got home lethally.
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Person: I hear you like animals, got any fun facts?
Ryan: If a crocodile eats your dad, they become your new dad.
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(Adam's first highschool crush)
Adam, after getting stupid flirting advice that he doesn't understand from Jack and Ryan: Hey, you're looking very submissive and breedable today.
Her, choking on water: WHAT THE F*CK?!
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(When they were kids)
Jack: Adam, I don't like you.
Adam: What did you say?
Jack: You heard me!
Adam: And it turns out I actually didn't hear what the f*ck you just said.
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Decided to repost this since a lot of you have been rereading my book and I thought I should give y'all some new ones. I'll probably be updating this more since it's summer now.