The sun rises on a new day in the encampment.
I roll onto my side in my borrowed tent in my borrowed sleep clothes and watch the light under the hut flap begin to get brighter and brighter. I still miss the sounds of the forest waking up around me. Everything here is strange and different. Instead of the birds I get to wake up to the soft snoring of a sleeping Liza and the rustling and rumblings of things going on outside of our hut as the world around us sets up for the new day that's come.
I roll onto my back and look at the ceiling hanging above me.
I don't know how the others sleep so soundly after what had happened yesterday.
I felt like every time I closed my eyes I saw blood and heard the screams of that girl I'd seen get shot in the back. Then when I'd let my mind wander I'd see Demetri, strong muscled body running and jumping between me and an arrow meant for my heart. I saw the way he rolled onto his attacker, lips pulled back in a sneer and long blonde locks whipping around his beautiful face as he delivered the fatal blow to his enemy. There was definitely something about that visual. It was visceral.
I didn't want to focus on that or him or any of it right now. I just wanted to enjoy the few moments of peace I was allowed right now. The spare moments when I'm awake before everyone else and I can just be me, not putting on a show for anyone else here.
When everyone fell asleep around me last night, all exhausted from the commotion of the day, I'd allowed myself a few tears. The day has been horrific. People had died in the attack. Not people I knew, but still, lives were viciously taken. Liza's father, Marcus, had explained to me that the encampment had been attacked by 'noncons' as he put it. I didn't want to believe it, but I'd seen it with my own eyes. The men I'd encountered and the other's who's bodies I saw littering the grounds after the attack had been neutralized, it was obvious they weren't like the well kempt people I'm here with now. They were wild, savage, and brutal. It took too much for my mind to wrap around the fact that though my family and the people we had been around in the beginning had been peaceful people, there were still other factions of the people like me who were choosing violence and revenge instead of personal preservation and living in solitude.
It made me feel even more like an outsider. Like I'm different even among what I consider my own people.I don't fit in with these people here, but I certainly wouldn't fit in with what others would call 'my kind' either.
The worst part of the whole ordeal though had been walking into that jail and not finding Macie. She should have been there. It's what made the most sense. If she had been captured and brought here, they'd have had to have brought her here because it was the only encampment in this region. Taking her to another one would have been a few weeks to a month's journey.
The prospect of that actually being what happened brought the pit of my stomach even lower. Maybe she'd never been here to begin with. Maybe...maybe my best friend was dead. Maybe I'd have to accept that.
I don't hear Liza wake or know that I'm crying until I feel her hand on my shoulder. "You were very close?" She whispers and I quickly wipe the stray tears from my wet cheeks.
"You have no idea." I decide to tell her. I appreciate that Liza didn't turn me in after she realized I was here with ulterior motives, but that didn't mean I trusted her now. She'd still not elaborated on her comments yesterday about there being people who didn't like the way things are run right now. I'd already showed her most of my cards here, there was no reason to let her see the full hand before I knew for a fact she could be trusted.
"What did she look like?" Liza's voice is soft, not pressing.
I sigh, closing my eyes. Our parents' photos were gone, and the realization that it wasn't just their faces I'd forgotten now settled heavy in my chest. I tried my best to conjure Macie's face in my head, but all I could make was that last look she'd given me. When she'd been warning me she had a bad feeling and I'd ignored her. I could only see the look of terror on her face now when I pictured her.
"Short, white blonde hair, kind dark eyes." I listed off her attributes like I was ticking off a list. "She has a gap between her front two teeth and freckles across her nose. She has this laugh..." I smile to myself. "She sounds almost like she's crying when she laughs. It's always confusing, because she both cried and laughed a lot, and sometimes you wouldn't know which was going on at which time."
"I'll ask around." Liza tells me gently patting my shoulder before she sits up and stretches her arms over her head. "If anyone remembers seeing her, I'll find out and we can figure out where she is together."
I sit up too, looking up at Liza. "Thank you." I mutter. "I don't think I've really said that. You had no reason to help me, and your family no reason to hide me, and yet you all are. So thank you for your kindness. I won't forget it."
"Well don't go saying it like you're planning on dying or disappearing soon." She laughed a little nervously, obviously as uncomfortable with the mild praise as I was with giving it. "Actually, no, now that I think about it, you might need to say your goodbyes." A grin tugs at her lips. When I just continue to stare back at her with confusion she laughs. "Your start your job today, remember? You're a real life working girl now, Kel."
I flop back on my cot, groaning which earns me annoyed huffs from Rodrick on his cot across the hut. Even though I don't stink anymore, I don't think, he still sleeps as far from me as humanly possible in the close quarters.
"Really?" I grumble to Liza. "After yesterday? I still have to?"
"I'm not making you." She reminds me. "You're the one who refused to wear the maiden's garb because it wasn't your style enough. Plus, we get attacks like that pretty often, granted usually smaller with less dynamite, but it never slows us down here. Gotta keep moving." She shrugs to walk away but then circles back, that devious smile in place again. "I mean, also, you're the one who picked a fight with Demetri. You could always just admit you're not for it and put on the robe and stay here and relax all day."
"Fuck that." I say, getting up quickly now. "That guy is an ass and I'm not letting him try to scare me back into that thing." I scan the hut floor before I find it curled up in an awful ball and I glare at it.
"He's definitely an ass," She agrees. "But he's also one who saved you yesterday."
I roll my eyes and cross my arms. "I saved his life too." I point out. "We are even."
"I mean technically he also saved you from Raul the first night when-."
"Liza," I whisper yell. "So not the point." I stand and turn her by the shoulders to lead her out of the hut. "Just tell me what I've got to do today."
Another day of a nice long cold shower and I'm afraid I'm going to get too accustomed to this and I'll never be able to river bathe again. I let Liza spin my mess of hair up into a high tight bun and she gives me a better fitting set of clothes she said Marcus had gone to market to get me.
I'd shrugged the deep crimson long sleeved top on and pulled up my deep green jeans while feeling oddly grateful to these people again. It all felt so out of place. I'm supposed to hate this place and the ones who live here, but it's hard to remember when they keep being so good to me. I haven't been taken care of for so long that I think I'm in shock from it now or something.
That warm fuzzy feeling wears off pretty quickly though as Liza drops me off at the stables. I suppose my own body odor was so bad last time I'd encountered the horses, I hadn't noticed it, but now that I'm clean, I'm keenly aware that their stalls...freaking stink.
"Jacob," Liza called, skipping ahead of me and the boy standing outside of the stables face lit up with a smile. "I brought your new personal servant."
"Cute." I mutter, arms crossed tightly over my chest. "Don't you have somewhere to be?" I ask her and she rolls her eyes, tugging me over to her and Jacob.
"I do," She agreed then grinned again. "Can't wait to hear all of the gory details of your first day later." She squeezed my hand and then spun on her heel, leaving me behind.
A little over two hours in and I'd really begun to question why I had to be so pig headed sometimes. I could have just worn the stupid robes, but instead, I am shucking hay and scooping insurmountable piles of horse poop, covered in dirt and probably other things I don't want to think about.
"How you doing in there?" Jacob's accented voice calls from out back where he's walking the horses. The fact that he is doing cool stuff like spending time with the animals and working on getting them saddled for a brigade that is going out later, and that I'm stuck with the grunt work does not escape me.
"Loving life." I call back, using the shovel in my hands to scoop another pile of steaming fly covered shit into the barrell. "Spoke too soon." I whisper to myself as I watch a group of guards approaching the stables, all armed to the teeth and laughing and talking amongst themselves, in such a happy mood to go hunt down innocent people.
"Ohhhh!" One of them calls out as they get closer. "What do we have here?"
I steal myself not to let them get a rise out of me as I wipe sweat from my brow and continue on to the last stall.
"New girl." Another calls out.
"About time we got some eye candy out here."
"Oh shit, she doesn't smell like candy." Another jokes and they all burst out laughing as they send me suggestive looks and make faces at me as they walk through the stable out back to meet Jacob with their horses.
Once they're all passed I let out the breath I didn't realize I'd been holding. The large black horse in the stall huffs at me and I pass him a handful of hay before I resume mucking out the gifts he left for me.
"You really suck for this." I tell him as I lean the shovel against the stall wall when I'm finished and step back in to gingerly place a hand on his long snout. "Maybe next time you could give me jewels, or you know, literally anything else."
"Are you trying to extort my horse now?"
I jump, whipping around quickly and startling the horse who winnies and rears up, effectively kicking a hoof right into my left shoulder and sending me sprawling forward on the ground, hands inches from another mound of poop.
I stare at the large booted feet in front of me, my whole back throbbing.
"Of fucking course that's your horse." I curse out.
"Quite the mouth on you." Demetri folds his long arms lazily across his chest. "Perhaps that's why he kicked you. You're certainly no lady."
I push myself up to my feet, dusting off my clothes. "So you're saying you've got a sexist horse or something?"
Demetri's sharp features pull together. "What? No. I'm saying-." I'm walking away when he stops mid sentence. "Excuse me, I am speaking to you."
Exasperated, I turn back to him, raising my eyebrows. "Oh, I'm sorry." I slap on a fake smile. "Am I allowed to speak to you now?"
"As if you've waited for permission before." His brows knit angrily. "But I didn't say you needed to speak, only that I have not dismissed you yet."
"Cool."
His blue eyes narrow in confusion as a wrinkle appears in his forehead. "Cool?" He repeats and I shrug, wincing at the pain in my back at the movement. I think I hide it well enough, but he catches it. His expression softens ever so slightly as he takes a small step towards me. "Let me see." He tells me, a long armored arm outstretched towards me.
"No."
"No?"
"That's what I said, yeah." I sigh. "It's fine."
"You likely will need to ice that."
I gingerly raise my arms and motion around the stables. "I've got work to do."
Demetri pinches the bridge of his nose as he takes a deep breath. "Fine, have it your way you infuriating-." He stops himself taking another breath. "I require a horse." He says after a beat.
"You came to the right place." I nod.
I don't think I imagined the tiniest pull of his full lips like he almost wanted to smile, but the movement is so small I can't be sure.
"For the love of God, just ready me my horse, please."
"Let me get Jacob for you." I tell him, going to stomp past him but he grabs me by the elbow then releasing it and wiping his dirty hand off on his dark trousers. "What?" I snap at him.
"I didn't ask Jacob." He says in frustration.
"Look," I say, fully over this whole thing. "I don't know how to ready the horses yet. Flog me in the streets if you must, but it's my first day. So unless you need something scooped or fed, I cannot help you today. Check back another time." I brush by him. "I'll go get Jacob for you and he will ready your evil horse for you."
I leave him standing in the stables, lips parted looking like he's never been told no a day in his life and he doesn't like it.
Too damn bad.
I'm literally only here because he made me be here, I'm not going to bow to him and jump to cater to his every whim. He's nothing to me. I'm not a subject or a soldier of his. I'm my own and I don't and won't care what the likes of him or anyone else thinks.
Being here is a means to an end.
One I need to start making some decisions on.
If Macie isn't here, I'm going to have to leave soon.
Then I won't have to worry about bratty guards or anything else but staying alive, as it should be.