I sipped my coffee and shivered as the warmth washed away the cold. Just like how the snow is melting, dripping water from the branches of a couple of trees. Leaving puddles on the pavement that keeps on being interrupted by hurried feet. That's when a familiar face came rushing through the midday sunlight. Eventually, she slipped down onto the chair across from me.
"Sorry," Jude said breathlessly as she pulled off her gray coat. Then finally, she settled down calmly with her hands folded on the table.
"I stepped into a giant puddle and I had to go home to change," She explained herself, but I didn't mind sitting here alone for a while. The waitress, Mia, has been nothing but kind and offered me coffee a couple of times. She is young, I realized, probably trying to earn a little extra cash for her education. With that generous smile, she might do that.
"Hi, what can I get you?" Mia smiled at my friend. It felt almost as if she had been reading my mind as she appeared out of nowhere.
"A latte and a bagel," Jude replied and Mia noted it down in her pad. Then she turned to me.
"Do you need anything else?" When Mia smiles, it's as if she knows no pain. Imagine being so pure. I kind of want to apologize beforehand to ease my dread.
"No, thank you," I replied and she nodded, then was on her very way. When Mia was out of sight, Jude started to explain the affair with the puddle that she potentially believed was left there for only her. I can see her mouth moving, but the words, the sound, seem to have vanished somewhere along. Or maybe I'm just falling more and more away from reality. It's easier not to exist sometimes if it could only appeal to the world as well. The company that I used to find comfort in has lost its mark. Not even my father's care can do justice. Considering he has called me every single day since my breakdown.
The day he made me stop creating something I couldn't. Since then, I've tried to spend more time with Jude and found myself at her parties, but to no use. I keep feeding something that can't ever be filled. Perhaps I've been looking at it all wrong and that it's not what I can offer that void, but it's the hand that tends it. I can't possibly provide myself with sanity when I'm the one that's insane.
"Hadley," Jude's raised voice brought me back to the place I didn't want to be. My dear friend sighed deeply as she reached over the table for my hands. Then she glanced down, biting her lip.
"You think she will ever come back?" she asked, fidgeting with my fingers and at that moment, Mia returned with Jude's latte and bagel.
"It's been a month and a half. Do you really think she would?" I said it a bit harsher than I intended and Jude shrank in her seat. I closed my eyes and calmed my nerves.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it go out on you," I said.
"It's okay. I know you are in pain," then she lit up.
"Maybe your father's gathering at the end of the month could provide some help," She wiggled her eyebrows and I chuckled at that.
"Hey," Jude held my hands tighter in her own.
"Try and go back out there. I don't necessarily mean for you to find someone else, but meet new people, new friends and maybe you'll be able to move on," She smiled and I nodded.
"I'll try," I promised, even though the thought hurt somehow. I honestly think I do not want to move on. How crazy is that? To want to be stuck like this? No, Jude is right. It's time to move forward. Rylan is not coming back. I need to open my eyes and accept that now. As much as it hurts, I have to.
"Hey, what about we go shopping for a new dress for you after I eat?" She asked.
"How about no?" I questioned as I do not feel like wandering around town on this bitter cold and wet floor.
"You don't have a choice," Jude waved me off and I rolled my eyes. Of course, I don't.
"Besides, it might make you feel better," She grinned before sipping her coffee. Jude is something, but she managed to make me smile.
"Shopping is the cure for heartache," Jude's words made me wrinkle my nose.
"I don't think so," I disagreed. However, I'm not the one to argue.