The silhouette of the lighthouse stood apart from the dark night time sky behind it. The white paint was chipped just like the last time I had been here, looking like it hadn't been repainted for years. No beacon of light caught my attention from the tip of the building. The lighthouse was nothing, but a relic left and forgotten about to decay.
I froze as my eyes focused in on the door ahead of me. I could see Alice and me running towards the door ahead of me, trying to shelter ourselves from the rain. The two girls were laughing as they clung onto each other as they disappeared through the darkness of the doorway.
I neared the door and pushed it open, holding it open for her as if she was right behind me and ready to follow me inside.
Inside, the old creaky staircase looked the same as it had done before. The wood was rotten and seemingly unstable, but I had always run up it anyway.
I made my way over to the stairs and I took the first step. I could almost feel someone behind me reaching out to grab my arm and clutch me close to them. I could almost feel her pulling me by her side, getting me to stick close to her as we made our way up to the stairs.
The more steps I climbed, the more the grip on my arm tightened, holding me back as I tried to carelessly make my way up the fragile staircase. Her grip pulled me back, keeping me cautious as I tried to reach the top.
"Careful, Charlie." She whispered in my ear, so close that I could almost feel her warm breath in my ear. "I don't want to be explaining to Mom and Dad why we had to take a trip to the emergency room."
My stomach tied in knots as I wanted to look besides me, to bring me back to reality, but I didn't want to. I let myself get tricked by the memories resurfacing in my mind as If they weren't memories at all.
"Charlie!" I heard someone shout, but this time not from besides me, but from above me.
I froze as I almost saw the two figures run up the stairs, in fits of giggles as they reached the top. With the death of their laughter, the clutching hand around my arm faded and I was alone again.
I huffed when a desolate silence encased the stairwell once again. An itching in my heart lured me to walk up the stairs faster to get it back.
Every step felt like it was purposely put in my way, preventing me from getting to the top. The darkness surrounding me, prevented me from seeing everything clearly. I could barely keep my eyes on each step as I put my weight down on each step I climbed.
A slight sound graced my ears as I took a couple more steps. A quiet murmur subtly existed in the quietude that had encased me. With every step, I tried to strain my ears even more, but
voices only returned when I grew closer to the top. A flutter of something floated around in the air like musical notes as I picked up on the sound of laugher, growing louder and louder until it was like the person laughing was right next to me.
I stopped at the door at the top of the stairs and swung open the door. The chatter made its way through the doorway and to me almost instantly. It was like finding an old family video you hadn't seen in years.
I stepped into the doorway, looking at the viewing point rather than the view. My heart rate increased in my chest as I could feel my breath hitch in my throat as I saw a familiar floral blanket laid on the floor. Two girls were huddled together. The younger one had her head rested on the older ones shoulder as the older girl held her sister's hand resting on her thigh, tracing circles over it.
"I hope they never fix this place up." The younger one said, gazing up at the stars above her that were shining so bright it was almost as if they were shining just for them.
"Yeah, why's that?" The older girl questioned her, her voice was light and sweet as her green eyes watched her younger sister watch her trace circles over her hand.
"Because then we won't be able to come up here anymore. We'd have no where to escape to." The younger girl said, her voice was soft as if she was lost in thought.
"Sometimes broken things work again." The older girl said.
The younger girl looked up at her older sister with almost hope as she watched her sister carefully. "Do you think Mom and Dad are broken?"
The older girl sighed and stopped tracing circles around the girls hand. The older girl squeezed her hand and a sad smile made itself at home on her lips.
"Maybe." She sighed. "But that's the beauty of broken things, they can be fixed."
"But what about when somethings so damaged it can't be fixed anymore? What then?"
"Then," The older girl said, thinking. "You move on from it and realise somethings can't last forever."
The younger girl sighed. "Do you know what's going on with them?"
Her older sister took a deep breath and kept her attention back on her younger sister. "It's best for them to keep us in the dark with their problems, sweetie. It makes them feel like real grown-ups."
A cold hand wrapped around my arm and I flinched before my head swung around to see Sebastian stood besides me. I looked back for the blanket and the girls, but they were gone just like that.
"Did you not hear me call you?" Sebastian asked, irritation thickly lacing his voice.
I forced myself to look away from where the girls were sat and turn my attention back to him.
I shook my head. "No, sorry." I said, pulling my arm out of his grasp and he surprisingly let me. I stepped away from him and walked towards the railing, leaning myself over it to look at the view.
"You should watch your step." Sebastian told me. "This place doesn't look safe." He told me.
I looked back at him from over my shoulder and raised my eyebrows. "Since when do you care about what I do?"
Sebastian rolled his eyes and his jaw clenched slightly as he looked away, not meeting my gaze. "I don't." He replied, his voice cold as his eyes remained focused on something in the distance. "But I'm not giving you the satisfaction of getting to tell our parents I let you do something stupid."
I narrowed my eyes at him. "You're funny, you know that?" I said, feel as smile of amusement creeping its way onto my face. "I can't read you and it's fucking hilarious. Nothing about you to me makes sense, isn't that funny?"
Sebastian met my eyes again, but looked unamused. "I don't have time for your games, Charlotte." He said. "We should go. This place doesn't look safe."
"I think it's pretty safe. I used to come here with Alice." I said, my voice soft, barely able to stand on its own.
Sebastian didn't say anything in reply as I returned my attention back to the ocean view. The sea below was choppy, lashing out against the rocks surrounding this side of the lighthouse. Each wave smacked against a rock, taunting and tempting it, waiting to see how much it'll take until it will finally fall to pieces and surrender itself to the sea to become the sand the water gets to walk all over the back of.
"It's late." Sebastian said to me.
"Mmmh." I hummed, listening to the wind as it whipped around us like an invisible ghost.
Sebastian sighed and I could feel his hazel eyes on my back as I kept mine focused on the sea below. Thoughts swirled around my mind like the wind around me as I tried to put them in their place. There was so many things building up that I felt like I didn't know anything about or that I thought I did.
All I knew was that my Dad left me despite what he said about needing time. I knew Jack was not in the car when Alice died. I knew Keira was in one car and Alice was in the other. Jack said Sebastian had picked him up. I knew Jack said he'd been keeping some secrets for Sebastian and he wasn't going to keep those secrets anymore. I knew something happened between Freya and Billy and this was the reason my stepbrothers and their friends hated Billy so much. Yet, even though I can line up all of what I know in my mind, something's not right. Something is missing, but I don't know what.
There's more and the more I think about it the less I know.
I turned around and faced Sebastian. He was looking at me like I was taking up his time, but I didn't care.
"Do you know, Sebastian?" I asked, leaning against the railing.
Sebastian narrowed his hazel blue eyes at me and looked at me cooly. "Know what?" He said, clenching his jaw, clearly not liking my ambiguity.
"That I spoke to Jack at his party." I said, looking at him square in the eye.
It was so small and so slight that I almost missed it. Sebastian's eyes widened ever so slightly before returning to meet the requirements for a scowl.
"You should stay away from him." Sebastian stated, folding his arms over his chest. His jaw tensed even further.
"Why's that?" I asked, watching his eyes carefully. He gave me nothing. Sebastian kept his eyes on me, meeting my gaze as if it was nothing.
"That's none of your business. Just do as you're told for once in your life." He snapped.
My lips twisted as I looked at him properly. This was the first time I had ever had him alone like this. It was the only time I'd really have to ask him something without him walking away. If he walked away, he knew our parents would probably kill him and by the looks of things, the weather was taking a turn for the worse.
"You once warned me that I should be careful of disrespecting loyalty." I pressed. "What does that mean for you?"
Sebastian's eyes narrowed as he looked at me carefully like he was trying to figure out what I was thinking. I knew he didn't know I was in the closet when he came into Jack's room. He didn't know that I knew he had secrets that he was keeping. It also seems to be true that he doesn't know what happened with Jack's car or the conversation I had with him prior to that. But what would any of this information mean for him?
When Sebastian didn't say anything and I straightened up, watching him closely. "Does no one tell you anything, Sebastian? Or do people tell you everything?"
Sebastian's stare went cold when the words came off of my tongue and he stiffened. "What are you saying?"
I sighed. "Jack." I said, his name sounding like a bad word coming out of my mouth. "I found out about Jack."
Sebastian raised his eyebrows and looked me like he was trying to figure out whether I was luring him to say something I didn't actually know. "You know." He said, his words like a statement as his gaze drifted over behind me.
"That, I do." I said, shifting uncomfortably slightly. "We didn't have the most civil conversation." Sebastian didn't respond, but waited for me to continue. "I wound him up."
Sebastian shook his head. "Is that a surprise?" He said and watched me closely, his eyes drifting over to my right cheek. "How much?"
"Sorry?" I asked, confused.
"Did you wind him up enough for him to give you that cut on your right cheek? You did a lousy job at covering it up with make-up."
I stiffened, realising he had figured it out. I wasn't going to tell him that, but he was more observant than I had given him credit for.
"It's nothing." I stated, bringing my hand up to touch my cheek.
"Doesn't look like it's nothing, Charlotte." He stated, his jaw tensing as he grew impatient with me.
I looked down as his eyes burned into me, demanding answers. "We argued." I said. "I said some things I probably shouldn't have said. Harry walked in on us when he did it. Harry punched Jack."
Sebastian's eyes narrowed in my direction. "Harry?" I nodded and Sebastian shook his head. "That bastard."
I froze, watching him closely. I couldn't be sure whether he was calling Jack a bastard or Harry a bastard. My heart sank at the thought of him referring to Harry.
I straightened up and pretended to not care about whatever he was thinking. I couldn't tell him that part of me would be hurt if he was calling Harry a bastard for punching Jack in retaliation for taking my side.
"The conversation confirmed something for me." I told him, but as I tried to look at him, something else was raging around in the ripples of his hazel eyes. Something was preoccupying him and I couldn't quite put my finger on it.
Sebastian drew out a sharp breath, forcing his gaze to focus on me again. "Alice." He said.
"Yes." I confirmed. "I know you picked up Jack that night after having an argument. Harry confirmed it. Why didn't you tell me?"
Sebastian shrugged. "There was nothing to tell. It didn't matter."
"It didn't matter?" I scoffed. "My friend told me Jack and Keira left that party together. Do you know how long I've been thinking Jack had something to do with my sister's death? Do you know how many nights I went to bed with his name circling around my mind. And then I find out you, you of all people knew and you didn't give me the curtesy of telling me?"
"That's exactly why I didn't tell you. No good would come from you knowing something like that. It doesn't mean anything."
"It doesn't mean anything?" I said in disbelief.
"It didn't change anything about what you already knew about the accident. The facts are the same. There was no reason for you to know."
"You don't think you owed it to me to let me know?"
Sebastian laughed slightly. "You think I owe you anything?"
I took in a sharp breath. "You talked about loyalty." I said, "You expected me to fall in line and take your side in things, but you never did that for me. This only emphasises that."
"You're a Lakewood." Sebastian stated. "What do you expect?"
"You can choose your family, Sebastian." I spat.
"Can you?" He questioned.
I felt rage burn up inside of me. He'd kept me in the dark about Alice and Kiera and he had the audacity to try and get on my last nerve.
"When did you see Joe and Alice together?" I asked him.
"What?" He asked me, confused by my sudden change in focus.
"Earlier today, by the pool. You said you had seen Joe and Taylor together. When?"
"Does it matter?"
"Yes." I pressed, straightening up.
Sebastian rolled his eyes and shook his head in frustration at me. "Me and Alice did a school project together once. He dropped her off."
"He did?"
Sebastian nodded. "Yes. Now are you done?"
"Not quite." I said, glaring at him. "Do you see my point now? You seem to know everything I don't know."
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"I think I do." I stated, deciding not to let him in on everything I was thinking. I pushed myself off of the railing and headed towards the door. "Let's go."
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