❝ the challenged ❞
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A FRIGID CHILL shakes every blood vessel of Nari's body. Chruns the fire which possessed her body with life to stone, and renders her still like a mountain, and shaking like the earthquake that caused it. Ryo knows. Unless she misread his lips, the leader knows. And he won't let it go.
Not easily, at least.
Nari flinched with a breath held in her throat– she flinched– as she waited for the acidic rain to come. To pour down on soft skin before melting it to juice. The strings of tension between them tighten, played out like a violin as Ryo's tongue covers slimy teeth with a smile, watching the girl's heart push against her ribcage with a boiling-dense pause. And then he steps away.
No rain, no fire, nothing. Just... laughter?
Ryo cuts the stinging string which the two caught themselves in as he claps his hands above his head, alerting the entire barn of his newfound zeal. His narrowed eyes light up like sparks of metal against itself, face contorting into an estranged joy. "Alright!" He cheers, opening arms wide at his sides before gesturing to the area around him. "Brothers, sisters, what are you waiting for? Grab our esteemed sister and her friend some seats!" He smirks at Nari with a mature delight. "Drinks and food, while you're at it, as well. We ought to welcome Ikko home, and first impressions are of most importance!"
The room breathed before rushing back to work– fighting whoops, chasing demands, whatever the Daofei were doing previously. But with more joy.
Not enough to clear Nari from her shaking muscles, body an empty shell of static. She still holds her breath, still waits for a signal to breathe out. Looking to Tana she finds an empty answer, even if the water bender understands her words without listening. Choose your next steps carefully, the blue eyes warn, I can't promise that Ryo still considers you an ally.
Zuko notices Nari's concern just as equally, pushing at her shoulder blades to remove the nervous arch from her back. Pushes her forward, away from danger's edge. "I need to speak to Ikko," He clears his throat, his voice becoming a deep, daring rumble that rivaled Ryo's. He blurted out, however, rather unnecessarily. Like a kid who's been deprived of attention interjecting the conversation of adults, his outburst causes everyone to cranes their neck to look back at him– part of Nari is thankful for this. She needed his voice to bring her back down to earth. "In private."
Tana raises a suggestive eyebrow, as does Ryo.
"He's asking to be excused," Nari corrects through gritted teeth, sending a metaphysical elbow-jab to Tana's side with narrowed eyes while she takes this time to breathe. It's not like that, dim-wit. "We have time before the others come back with chairs and food and drinks."
Ryo understands what Nari means, and truth be told he trusts her to keep her guest in line, as she attempts to do now. What wrong could happen within the following few minutes, as the daofei turned servants rush to complete Ryo's demands? He settles into an intrigued lean back. "Go on then." He flicks a hand in the direction of the floor below the hayloft. "Surely you don't expect us to leave your presence."
Nari tilts her head to the side with a further forced smile. She pushes Zuko to the ladder by his shoulder blades, making sure some pain is inflicted for his untimely cry. "He doesn't."
♛
"What was that all about?" Zuko shouts a whisper, words as tight as his frowning lips. He stops his foot in a raging temper, trembling arms shooting down to his sides as that fury rests in his fists. Burning flaxen eyes betray the fearful concern behind such a volatile emotion.
Nari leans against the post which holds up the hayloft, small in comparison. With all veracity pulled forward 'in private' meant 'right underneath the hayloft', but from Nari's experience, it's the only place Ryo's eyes don't cover. It's also drowned out by the cheers and cries of dazed thugs who force opinions over the long-lasting Lei Tai, which makes it more sensible than leaving and reentering. Ryo can't read their demeanors this way.
Zuko's is one of utter bitterness. His face twists in anger like the scar covering half his face, shoulders steaming fiercely as they distort the image behind him. All the while, Nari just tries to ground herself. Calm herself down from Ryo's claim, and let go of how he knows her name. Despite that meaning life or death, she needs to drop it. If she makes an enemy out of Ryo, then she makes an enemy of the Daofei.
"What was what?" Nari rubs the cuff of her wrist, back foot kicked up against the post with focused eyes.
Zuko stares at this for two straight seconds before bringing his gaze up to hers. "What was that whole 'gang-leader-acting-like-he-knows-you-when-he-doesn't?'" She's nervous, he can tell, by how she reacts to his petty words: the lack of an eye roll. Hands that drop to her side. She's not fully attuned to his flare-out, focusing on something else.
Her eyes drop to the floor as something cold washes over her. "He knows more than you think."
When Zuko takes a step for Nari, she tilts her head away: the saddest part of all of this is how Ryo knows Nari better than Zuko. Both her daofei side and her true side, though really one pertains to the other. Ryo knows what she's done, what she's capable of, but Zuko knows a softer Nari. He knows a Nari that follows orders more often than she'd wish, one with a glimpse of restraint, he knows a Nari who's capable of friendship, or feeling whatever thing she felt earlier. And damn her for thinking so naively, for being so comfortable.
Zuko plops his back against the corner of the barn, cavernous lines of a concerned face ducking under the empty light of nothing. All lamps and fires are far from the two, leaving them to a pure, chilled solitary. "Na- Ikko, how could he know–"
"He does." Her bitter voice rises goosebumps over Zuko's skin, the boy itching to fight in a protest though he reads Nari well– it's better he doesn't. The girl seldom has a heavy look, nothing sad, but something defeated. Brows dragging eyes to the floor, frown pulling at a perfect face. Strong shoulders which could handle anything shrinking to the earth's core. She's cracked, and so is her identity. Which means trouble for the both of them.
If Ryo can figure Ikko is Nari, then Lee being Zuko is...
Painfully obvious.
And painfully dangerous. Much to Zuko's ignorance, he knows none of this. None of the many ways Ryo has already planned to send him off, send them off. None of the stealthy ploys. The schemes and terrible ideas, or the mere fact that Ryo's got their identities down to a T. Completely unaware of it all.
"No, nar- Ikko. No, he doesn't." He crosses his arms with a huff, nearly spoiling her name once more. "Ryo doesn't know where you come from, he doesn't know your past, he doesn't know anything besides what you wanted to show in order to seem tough."
Nari swallows her rising bitterness and regret, pushing off the post with a back turned to Zuko. She's cornered. Trapped by Ryo's arrogance, and abandoned by Zuko's ignorance. The leader does know her name, he knows her past. He knows her. Those who lie to Ryo typically lose their heads before they lose their mind, and Nari will surely lose both, at this point. A chomp of her lip has watering eyes at bay while she holds that at bay, shoulders tense. "What do you know, then?" Nari's acrid voice drops low, like an anchor falling to the cold seafloor.
She spares a short look over her shoulder, and Zuko fights back a sour face.
And numerous words.
He knows her favorite color is pink, like the color of the sky as the sun sets, but she says it's black to seem tough. He knows she's terrified of thunderstorms, that she has a soft spot for animals unless they're turtle ducks that ruin her hiding spot. He knows she likes poetry, he remembered that her favorite flower is a fire lily, that she can't contain her anger, she misses her family but dreads going back. He knows she's too stubborn to admit that, just as she is too stubborn to accept help. Her parents were awfully mean which is why she always looked forward to playdates at the palace, and even as a kid she knew to cover the hot-rod whip marks from punishment by holding her hands behind her back.
Nari hates the dark, especially when she sleeps. She doesn't share secrets too easily, which is why the daofei situation hits him like a punch to the ribs. He knows she likes to sing but never does it in front of anyone. She always loved participating in music night on the ship, too. Nari grabs her wrist when she's nervous, the scarred one. She bites her tongue in a twisted manner, chews on her cheek when keeping back words. She rarely gets enough rest but loves sleeping. Seeing a bruise after training made her feel empowered, being sore makes her feel strong. She never wears her hair down because it's impractical and too accessible for people to grab. She hates her short hair. Hates sleeping on the ground because of bugs. She can do her eyeliner without mistakes. She can't braid her own hair, so it goes in that bubble style. She has a thing against guys that wear bandanas...
He knows her. Zuko knows Nari. He's paid attention towards all these things through the many years they've spent together, watching new behaviors arrive and old ones thrive. How could he not, when Nari was the one person he looked out for?
"I know a lot, actually." In his voice is the same effortless persistence that was his mind's inner ramblings, how they carried on and on about Nari. "We've been friends ever since we were little, we–"
"Friends, huh?" Nari's tone poisons the air with an unintended bitterness as her nails pick against her skin. Digging. Digging. Digging. Until blood seeps into her nail beds. "So that's what you'd call it." Her skin burns raw, but there is no more flesh that she can chomp her teeth against– this is the next step of hindrance to her emotions.
Only the tensing of her shoulder blades can betray her with a back turned to Zuko, which is why the boy takes a step into her side's view. Nari only turns her head. "Yeah, I would." He says with an approaching caution. "Maybe not all of it, but for the half of my life that I've known you, that's what I'd call it."
Zuko recognizes that there have been years apart, and there have been arguments atop arguments, and many disagreements along the way. Sometimes they don't see eye to eye. But all that aside, Zuko couldn't see that half of his life without her, nor would he want to, even if she got on his nerves quite often. There are times when the two laugh and joke with perfect synchronization, or when one manages to comfort the other without truly meaning to, just because they knew how. There are little smiles here and there, albeit each teenager seldom sporting such. Friendship– that's what Zuko thinks of that.
But bitterness still cuts off Nari's tongue and works it like a puppet. Something about how Zuko can call her a friend and a murderer at the same time, even if he was right.
Now she keeps her back to him, jawline tightened in the inky lighting.
"Hey," Zuko tries to turn her around with his voice– sometimes this could work, sometimes this could soften her features– stepping into the peripherals of Nari's view. "I don't know what you're trying to do, but it's... dangerous."
Nari sighs, giving in with a low-hung head as she twists on her heels. She doesn't know what she's doing, either. It might've been a threat on Zuko's part, an establishment of power, or it was showing him her past. Justifying herself. Though she never really needed to do that, did she? Zuko understood– or understands, now. "It's only dangerous for you," She keeps her voice quiet and hushed, as if her thoughts spill out in ways she wishes Zuko never heard. "I'm fine here, Zu– Lee-" these names are getting tedious "-but you... you're a liability, you're a threat to them and now they're a threat to you."
"Then why bring me here?" Zuko tries to match her efforts of placidity. How well her voice and emotions are kept under wraps, how comfortingly cautious she is. Her eyes sink to the floor like gold dripping from a loamy cliff, slowly, surely. With regret and remorse, wasted energy. Once again, Zuko finds himself dwelling not on the situation at hand, but on Nari. How soft her features become when she's confused and guilty, how much it pains him to see the delicately beautiful frown her blushed lips take on, or the silent divot of her brows. How her hair falls before her forehead gracefully. It's a stark contrast to what he saw a fierce moment ago. "Why go through all this trouble-"
Nari's frowning frown turns into pursed lines of white. "Because," She interrupts with a curt lightness to keep Zuko from speaking. The less he says, the less she has to think. "Maybe for clarification from earlier today. Or to show you what happened when you were gone, how I managed to get along with no help from royalty, or the Fire Nation..." She takes a quick pause. All which blurts from hot lips are simple excuses of futile work. She's unsure of what they truly mean. "There was a reason, Zuko."
She gave up on the fake name.
Upon the mix of shouts, cries, whoops and hollers, it doesn't matter. No one is listening to them anyways.
Zuko remembers how her pinky felt wrapped around his, how she did this to calm him down knowing the dangers that would follow had she not. If he could just try to emulate that... "I didn't need clarification, and I knew you were strong enough to last a year on your own." He states proudly, definitely. Trying to find a way to give Nari some peace of mind– let her know she had nothing to prove. Though his next few attempts are butchered greatly: "And as much as I hate seeing a different kind of you, not that you are any different, just that this is different– hang on," He thinks carefully of the words his mind tries to write. They're in his head perfectly, but as to why he can't properly execute them whenever Nari lifts puzzled eyes to him grants an enigma unsolved. "You were okay here, and that makes it okay... okay?"
A face of twisted confusion reeks onto Nari's features. What the hell is he trying to say?
She tries to understand Zuko's words, and to no avail, it becomes impossible to solve that puzzle. Sure, some pieces fit together, but some don't. "What?" She raises, much before her mind manages to solve her questions: Zuko originally despised this place and everything with it. But now he understands that she was... alright here. Safe, even. So to him, he's now indifferent. Something along those lines, right?
"I understand," The boy simplifies.
But how could Zuko understand? It makes sense, but how? Things are different than they were back when Nari was with the daofei, because now Ryo knows her name. And how Nari's brain wraps back to this, she knows not. But it's a topic she can't deny. "There are some things you'll never understand," Wringing her hands around each other, Nari lets her eyes jump to the corner behind Zuko, who raises his brow quizzically.
From his lips leave a sigh Nari seldom heard. "I can try to," he admits, and a step is stolen from in between them.
Surprisingly, Nari doesn't take that step back. She barely moves, aside from the fidgets of her fingers. "Ryo knows things about me that no Daofei should. It puts a lot at risk, and I don't know what to do." Admitting this is not easily done, but with Zuko it's a task Nari finds no trouble in.
Like a lost dog, Zuko tilts his head to the side. "What does he know?"
To tell Zuko would only put more stress on him. It'd only freak him out further. "I can't tell you,"
"You can," He corrects, paying no mind to a vivid fire that erupts in the scene behind them. It's silenced by Nari's silhouette, just a simple blur of mixed lights and echoed voices. Something in this feels placid and secure, but missing all the same. Maybe it's whatever Nari refuses to tell him.
She looks over her shoulder quickly, swiftly. A way that no one would notice. And then she looks back to Zuko. "I can't-"
"Nari-"
"If I tell you, it will only make things worse!" She blurts, possibly louder than anticipated. Something crawls around her shoulder blades, lungs, the backs of her arms. Itches, burns, irritates her. Welts up her eyes through prickling tears. "Ryo could seriously hurt me if he wanted to, especially with what he knows... he could chop off my hand for lying, slice up my neck for saying the wrong things, Agni, he could have me dead if he wanted to–"
"He almost did," Zuko silences her with some brutal interjection. "He had a knife to you, Nari. A knife, you know how scary that was to watch? To wait through–?" The prince's words come off differently than intended; he meant to express how strong she was, how he trusted she'd be okay even with high stakes. But that's not what he said.
Because of this jumbled mind of Zuko's, Nari races through a woven net of a track. Confusion anew, maybe even some newfound struggle of feelings she lacks names for. "That's what you don't understand, Zuko. Ryo could've cut my head off, he could've done so much worse, and he still can. And that's just to me," Nari's voice catches a lump in her throat, a sticky web of fear that's all birthed at Zuko's misfortune. "He's a cruel man, and whatever he does to me, he'll do tenfold to you. I can't... I won't be able to stand that."
The light behind golden eyes speak louder than Zuko's voice ever could, the gentler features forming to make whatever face he'd wish write out the words he'd never say, and shrunken shoulders form the movements he fails to make. Be careful– that's it. That is the sentence he can't say, the one that means the most. That wish is what burns behind sparkling eyes and a heavy soul. Don't get yourself hurt in fear of me.
And after all of that, there are words Zuko could never express. Could never say or show.
You care about me, Nari. I understand that, because if I saw anything happen to you, I'd-... well, I'd hate to think of it. So I do understand. I understand everything: the fear, the regret, the remorse, how you'd feel. I know it. I feel it; I'm the same. But I can't say this, not to you, and not right now.
Nari is not a mind reader. She can't sculpt out an idea from simple silence, but she can read the scripture that is Zuko's body– she can pay attention to the ache in her chest. Grief, guilt, irritation, annoyance, fear, whatever it is. She pays attention to it all, attentive thoughts structuring into the nerves of her spine. Controlling her feet and arms. Bringing her to the point of placing her hand on Zuko's shoulder and nodding.
It was simple, strict. Maybe even a little sad.
Downcast eyes didn't dare find his own before she slams them shut in frustration. What is she supposed to do? Not just about Ryo, but...
Nari was mad at him... is mad at him? She wants to be mad at him. But how can she be mad at someone who's never left her side even when she shouted and screamed at him? By getting pissed at how he yelled back. The girl reasons her emotions at rapid-fire speed. By remembering how he saw you as a killer for doing what needed to be done. By trusting him and–
Zuko pulls Nari into a hug, wrapping his arms around her waist as though it was practiced albeit he waits for her to shove away. It's not that he knew what he was doing, or that he'd planned such a warm action, Zuko just did it. It's as sudden to him as it is to a comforted Nari, because she just looked so... hurt. It was a kind he's never seen before, with moonshine eyes that trembled, brows that weighed like an anvil, lips that pulled so impossibly tight that they'd snap at any moment. Something that was so fierce shuddered and fought its way onto the battlefield of her face. She just... needed a hug.
Nari needs a hug.
So she dips her head down the crook of his neck, resting it there as she stands. Still, for a while, until her arms finally returned the embrace. It should be noticed that Nari and Zuko have only ever hugged once; at the North Pole. But this one is different– instead of a tight and damp hug lined with the excitement of freeing themselves from splintering ice, the two held each other close and soft. Nari's skin radiates a heat which isn't used to keep herself warm, a heat which is just there, as she wraps her arms around Zuko in return. Slowly releasing air from her lungs. Perhaps that was that whole feeling of what she pinned to Zuko. How she needed to do something, anything, how she needed to protect him.
Zuko sighs similarly as he buries himself into Nari's shoulder. The breath of Nari holding itself around his neck like a blanket, sending a tickle over his arms. "I thought he'd kill you," She whispers as Zuko holds onto her a little tighter as his hands wrap up against the girl's shoulder blades. She tries not to let her voice tremble further as she completes her fears. "I thought he'd kill me,"
She only hums in response, bothered too much by the simplicity of this moment; how safe she feels, how everything she just fretted over washed away like writing in sand. More importantly, how Zuko's heartbeat rushed through his neck, against Nari's ear. And how, in pulling her closer to him, she followed the same– the motion just belonged, holding him close. Protecting. Being.
Indeed, she finds that this is the thing that blossoms in Nari's chest, pushing her heart into a compact coin while simultaneously inflating it against her sternum's cage.
Something in her devotes a promise to never forget this embrace. Keep it like old history books keeping the names of the dead. Nari notes the space minimized between the two, how it closed like magnets at the security of the other's grasp; notes the airflow that puffs from Zuko's mouth, how his voice vibrated against her shoulder bone when he spoke; the way his fingertips ran a tight grip over the cloth on her back, how chilled the motion was because he thought he'd lost her. She notes how her shoulders released themselves of a tension she's had since she was seven, how her features managed to flatten out into placidness, how she lets her back turn to the entire crowd of Daofei, how full her arms are.
Nari holds her breath with a pained chest. "I wasn't plannin' on letting you get hurt, Lee." She pulls away from their hold, her hands stopping at Zuko's shoulders as her head tilts down to give him a sincere smile. "And I wasn't plannin' on letting someone like Ryo kill me."
Zuko holds Nari's wrists for not but a second, favoring one more than the other for less than obvious reasons, before he drops them to his sides. Upon his shoulders weighs a heavy iron gate with his next words: "I knew that," He stifles his bitterness with a sassed defiance, albeit no, Zuko definitely did not know that.
Nari inflates her chest with lungs full of air, stepping back for their retreat up to the hayloft once more. The hesitance in her steps is ample signal for Zuko to head up the ladder first, and for Nari it's an assurance that no thug will yank the prince's ankle. Tug him some place Nari can't find and knock the daylight from his eyes.
She waits patiently as Zuko scales the ladder skyward, watching him rather than the floor around her. It's hard not to ensure his safety after such a close moment. A shame it would be to have to endure something wrong in such a following time of rightness– Nari's bitter self hates to admit that, but she's willing to brew a thought of such. She rolls her shoulders back in a deep sigh.
A bump against her side. Clay cups shattering themselves and the energetic air around them. A small yelp before wine splashes the shins of young Nari. Some offended gasp as whoever she clashed with as they back away.
She's run into someone.
Her face twists first into confusion as she questions the audacity. Then crooked and narrow eyes meet with her new opponent: one of Ryo's 'assistants'. Those butlers who tend to his every need. And eyes of green, that narrow of a man albeit long hair and gentle features would dare otherwise, shine furiously with the same defiance Nari boils in.
In the Daofei, one typically watches where they're going. Failure to do so results in casual consequences.
"Aye!" Nari's gut hits the floor as Ryo's voice falls under the hayloft like pouring rain. She spilt his drinks, ruined a gift to his prestigious guests (even if she was one of them), she disrupted his ambience. And for that she disrupted him; disrespected him. As the fire bender cranes her neck upward, she swallows the burning lump of coal which is Ryo's ravenous eyes. "Ikko, I know you didn't just knock one of my workers outta line, down there!"
Be bold... Stand your ground... don't show it. "I did," Nari fesses up, a clashed shout towards her high-up higher-up. Hands on hips, chin tall to the sky, ego even taller, eyes narrowed to slits of rich and precious gold. "They were in my way."
The man's face lights bright with entertainment, such a shine it forces Nari to squint. Arms above his jumping self, he claps with triumph. "Is that so?" Ryo grins out a ploying smirk, white teeth slimey against licked lips. A face contorted in malicious intent forces Nari back as he leaps down from the lengthy hayloft, feet dug into the dusty floors beneath them. "Sounds quite... audacious of you. Are you challenging my judgment?" The slick rise of a single brow swells a heat in Nari's gut.
She cranes her neck upward once again, spotting a head-shaking Zuko who hosts fear like a parasite. Eyes wide as he communicates telepathically, mouth parted just enough to mimic a 'don't do it'. Yet she's not like that, not here at least. Ikko doesn't back down– and neither does Nari. A regretted lip bite acts as a missed apology as Nari steps closer to a lanky Ryo, breath hot as it breaks on his stubbled face.
"I am. What are you gonna do about it?"
Ryo enjoys this greatly; a challenge, and nonetheless with a young girl so fearless and daring as to kill many. This is like a birthday for him. Filled with gifts and celebrations, a party for the ages. New and exciting, a present wrapped picture-perfectly, pretty and preciously, tied up in the grandest of ribbon. With a dark and raspy chuckle, a calloused hand clasping against Nari's sharp jawline to lift her, and a smirk so carelessly calculating, Ryo's eyes blaze wide. "Meet me on that little platform and find out, girl."
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published in august 2022 | 4,750 | written by peri
here's a chapter that's literally three times smaller than the one prior . yay ! i was planning to add more but after the last update , i decided a minimal chapter is nice , plus the ending is funnnn !
i ain't got much of an authors note besides that , thanks for reading fools !
# peace love zari
- xoxo , peri out , peace