Harry Styles, 2017
"Do you still have feelings for me?" Harry asks with force, storming into the room.
After he had read that note that he had been supposed to read two years ago, he was awake for hours and hours sitting on his window sill, staring at the dark grounds of the castle and the moon, thinking and overthinking everything in his head.
What the fuck is wrong with Louis?
He had been sending Harry the most mixed up signals over the last weeks and now Harry finds out that he had promised him to love him forever?!
So when he woke up to the first beams of the sun, announcing a new day, he decided on going back downstairs, see where Louis is and confront him. After swallowing an aspirin against his headache of the hangover.
So here he is, standing dumbly in the doorway of Louis' room that is warm and cozy and smells like Louis, making Harry dizzy again.
He doesn't even know why he is doing this. It's irresponsible to force this topic that early in the morning and in such a state but he needs an answer.
"What?" Louis asks, dropping the t-shirt he had been folding and spinning around to face Harry, who stands in there, hand still on the handle of the door.
"Do you still have feelings for me?" Harry repeats his question and Louis stares at him.
"What are you talking about?" Louis asks, furrowing his brows and Harry steps into the room, handing the letter over to Louis, who looks at it confused for a moment before the realization hits him and he sighs.
"Do you?" Harry asks again, crossing his arms in front of his chest.
"I don't-" Louis cuts himself off and sits down on the edge of his bed.
"You don't...?" Harry says and looks at Louis expectantly.
He just wants to hear it.
Because Harry still has feelings for Louis as strong as they had been 2012, he's sure.
"I don't know." Louis says quietly and looks down at his lap.
Wow.
Well. Fuck.
Calling him friend, promising to wait for him, not making a move on him and writing love songs about him, talking to Lottie about him, but he doesn't know if he's still in love with him?
He didn't think about Harry's feelings before doing all this?
"You can't sing a love song about me without being sure. That's not- that's not fair." Harry feels his throat getting tighter. He hates crying and he doesn't want to cry in front of Louis right now. It had always been so easy, showing emotion in front of him, like the late night deep talks about modest and how he had always felt like he was in a prison. He had cried in Louis' arms and had told him everything he had felt. Sometimes, it wasn't even an emotion he told him about. He would say "I feel empty."
And Louis would understand because Louis always understood. Louis would nod and keep Harry safe in his arms. He would kiss the pain away.
Now, that Louis was the reason, Louis being responsible for that pain, made it hard for Harry to show these emotions. Because after all these years, he still put Louis before him. And he doesn't want Louis to feel bad, to know that he is the reason for Harry's tears.
Because Louis is so, so important and it would break him.
But Harry needs to say something, because he can't let himself be treated like that any longer without any form of explanation.
Louis lifts his gaze and looks at Harry questioningly.
"Miss you is about me and always you is also about me." Harry says, stating the facts.
"You really wrote them without knowing if you want me back? That's-" Harry searches for the right words while Louis bites his lip, looking so confused and so sad and sorry but also kind of happy and so beautiful and so cute and so cuddle-y. "Don't play with my feeling just because you're unsure of your own." Harry's voice is weak and quiet.
"And with that you not only play with my feelings, Louis. You also use the conspiracy for fame. You know that Larries connect everything, right? They know Miss you is about me. So if you don't feel that way, that's just- after everything we had to go through you seriously use our relationship, our love, for publicity? I mean honestl-" The first tear slips from Harry's eye and he quickly wipes it away with the sleeve of his hoodie, as Louis cuts him off.
"You wrote sweet creature, meet me in the hallway, two ghosts and from the dining table about me, I listened to the album." He says.
"Okay, yeah what if I did? I don't deny that I still have feelings for you. Not to myself and not to you." Harry says loudly, throwing his arms into the air and Louis jaw drops.
"You do?"
"Of course I do, Louis! How could I not? How could I possibly ever get over you?"
Louis is quiet after that.
Staring at his hands, that fiddle with the hem of his sweater, biting his bottom lip.
Harry prays he thinks about the best ways to stand up and kiss him now, but sadly, that really doesn't take so long normally.
Louis stays silent.
Harry wonders if this is it now. Like a great book with a bad ending, a promising story you'll get so invested in, just for the end to be so utterly disappointing.
Wondering, if Louis will forever be a memory of young age, even if Harry had always thought Louis would be the one to bring his morning tea out to the porch where they sit on, judging the children going to school, screaming at the neighbors cat and talk about how nice the weather is, when they're old, grey, worn out but with amazing memories.
Shared memories.
But apparently, Louis will be the one Harry tells his kids stories about, not the one he's telling them stories with.
Apparently, Louis will be that one man that Harry will always compare his future partners to, because they will never be close to being like him.
Apparently, Louis will be the name that always causes pain whenever he hears it, whenever he's asked about him.
Apparently, Louis will be the one on the old picture in a dusty box in the basement of the house Harry will live with his family in. The pictures that he will maybe look at some day and wonder how Louis isn't the one who waits for him upstairs. Wonder when they had taken the wrong turn.
He hates his thoughts.
And Louis still sits there, confronted with Harry's confession but not able to say it back.
"Okay." Harry whispers, his heart dying, his mind spinning, his head pounding despite aspirin, his hands shaking and his tears falling.
He turns around, walking out of the door, without looking at Louis again.
As he's a few steps into the empty hallway, a sob ready to escape from his lips, he hears hurried steps behind him.
"Harry." Louis calls after him.
Harry doesn't stop. He keeps walking, back facing Louis, who runs after him.
Why?
"Hazza."
Harry can't help but stop at that.
The way this old nickname sounds in Louis voice, Louis accent is incredible. Harry had missed it so, so much and it's almost pitiful how much effect that short word has on his body and mind.
Harry stops immediately, slowly turning around again, eyes widened and red, hair messy and curly, hoodie big and soft.
"Yes, miss you is about you, and yes, always you is about you as well, and no, I would never ever use you or us and no, I'm not over you." Louis says, the is sentence fast and Harry's spinning mind hurts, as he tries to get it all.
That's why he takes a second and furrows his brows, his eyes starting to hurt from all the crying.
Louis steps forward, putting his hands on Harry's cheeks softly and wiping away the tears with his thumbs.
Harry's heart skips a beat, beats faster and freaks out completely, pounding in his chest.
His breathing gets quicker and uncontrolled while his eyes try to focus on every detail of Louis' face at once. It's so beautiful, the defined cheekbones, the light beard stubble, his soft, tanned skin that looks so golden, his light, feathery brown hair, falling onto his forehead and these eyes that are just to die for.
These ocean eyes that are the most beautiful shade of blue with a hint of green and that are framed by these crinkles when he smiles.
Louis is breathtakingly pretty.
And Harry loves him.
And he's standing inches away from him at the moment, wiping away his tears.
"I didn't break my promise. I'm still so fucking in love with you, Haz." He whispers and Harry dies.
"'dunno how I could ever stop." Louis' voice gets quieter and eventually dies down completely as his face gets closer to Harry's.
The next thing Harry feels is Louis' lips on his.
Hands still placed on Harry's cheeks ever so softly, Louis kisses him.
Finally.
Harry is completely stiff for a moment, before his body sets itself to work (his head is just on dinner break or something right now- he doesn't care, he doesn't need it), doing what it's done so uncountable many times before.
His hands find Louis waist and he pulls him closer, their upper bodies touching, moving his lips against Louis'.
Everywhere their skin touches, he feels little explosions or goosebumps on it and his heart might just beat out of his chest and fly to Australia.
They pull apart seconds, or maybe hours later, catching their breaths and looking at each other.
Harry's mouth spreads into a huge smile, dimples showing and eyes crinkling, Louis mirroring his action, fingertips caressing the skin of Harry's cheekbone.
"I am so, so incredibly sorry for what i did." Louis starts and lowers his head, looking at their shoes.
But Harry is having none of that right now.
He pulls one hand from where it's wrapped around Louis' back, bringing the tip of his pointer to Louis' chin and tilting his head upwards again, forcing eye contact, before he leans down again.
"Shut up and kiss me." He whispers against Louis' lips and as he can feel Louis' breath hitch in his throat, he slightly smirks to himself before connecting their lips again, this time with more force.
Louis' hands move from his face to his hair, burying themselves in Harry's curls that are way shorter than when he had last done this (thanks to Niall), both of them breathing heavily through their noses and bodies slowly starting to react.
Speaking of Niall,
there is a loud and girly scream, that makes both of them jump and pull apart, whipping around at the sudden voice.
And there is Niall, in the hallway, backpack still in hand since he had just came back from Ireland.
"Oh my fucking god!" He screams, dropping his bag and running towards them.
"And WHEN EXACTLY were you gonna tell me, you cunts?" He pushes his hands into his hips, looking at the two judgingly.
"I was gonna call you. But it kinda just happened now." Harry says, sliding a hand under Louis' arm and around his waist again to keep him close.
Niall's mouth opens. "Oh shit. I'm very, very sorry. I'm gonna go and let you have your moment. Also, as you can see, I'm back so tonight's gonna be game night and Nandos night. You don't have to be there, you're excused if you want to violate each other the whole n-"
"Niall." Louis says and Niall stops talking, thankfully, squeals one last time before turning around, picking up his bag and disappearing around the corner.
Louis looks at Harry, smiling brightly.
"You wanna hear a joke?" Harry asks suddenly, turning his body a bit, so that his front is facing Louis again.
"Not really." Louis breathes out while staring at Harry's lips.
"Okay." Harry says.
They look at each other for a few seconds.
"Knock knock." Harry says eventually, smile involuntarily forming on his lips.
"It's open." Louis answers and grins successfully.
"Listen here you little shit-" Louis starts laughing and Harry stops mid-sentence to admire him.
He lets out a breathy laugh, bending forward slightly and burying his face in Harry's t-shirt.
It's adorable.
Louis breathes in heavily and lifts his head again.
"I love you." He says, wrapping his arms around Harry waist and clasping his hands behind Harry's back, keeping him in a cage, keeping him near him.
"And I love you." Harry replies without having to hesitate.
"So... be my boyfriend again?" Louis asks quietly and Harry just dies for the tenth time this morning.
"I'll be your boyfriend until you decide it's time for me to become your husband." Harry says confidently without thinking, the result of 1 hour of sleep.
Louis doesn't mind the slightest, though, the biggest smile yet appearing on his lips.
"You better." Is all he replies before connecting their lips again, taking Harry's breath away.
*******
A/N
IDBSIDBIWJFKRJDKSNFJEJW I'M SCREAMING
OK SO SURPRISE SHAWTY THEYRE TOGETHER
actually everyone knew that bc of the first two chapters
oops
i just wanted to tell you that i love your comments and your votes, they make my day and ur so super cute. (i love how invested some of you are)
since ur so amazayn i decided to finally give you some positive stuff
AND I'M NOT WRITING ONE OF THESE ANGSTY UP AND DOWNS STORIES HERE. I PROMISE IT'S NOT GONNA BREAK DOWN NEXT CHAPTER AGAIN. IT'S GONNA STAY HAPPY LIKE THAT
because these aren't just two fictional character. THIS IS LARRY. i would honestly hurt myself so bad if i wrote shit happening any longer. SO THEYRE HAPPY. THEY LOVE EACH OTHER STFU
plus tag urself: i'm niall
LOVE YOU, BYEEEEE
x