D E C E M B E R 1 9 7 6
.・。.・゜✭・.・✧・゜・。.
END TERM EXAMS CAME AND WENT without incident. So long as no one asked Sirius what happened during his Transfiguration exam, that is. The details were murky, Clara only caught bits and pieces of the story. All she knew was they he had turned a Puffskein into something else rather than a paperweight, like he was meant to.
Professor McGonagall had already sent a strongly worded letter home to Fleamont and Euphemia about the fracas he caused in class but what ever came of that, Clara had no clue. In all honesty, she had no idea what her parents' roles were even meant to be in Sirius's life.
Had it been her or James causing issues in the middle of an exam, they no doubt would have lost some sort of privileges over the holidays - like James's broom or Clara's record player being locked away. But when it came to Sirius, she had the feeling he thought he could get away with just about anything with her parents.
Fleamont and Euphemia were of course his authority figures now, and clearly Professor McGonagall had been made aware of his new living arrangements. But without Walburga and Orion's stern, watchful eyes over him anymore, it seemed like Sirius had become more bold than ever over recent months. At least that was Clara's opinion on the matter.
"So, what did you do?" Clara finally asked Sirius on Christmas Eve night.
The family had spent the evening gathered around the fireplace in the front room after enjoying a lovely roast dinner. Hours had passed since then and after it seemed as though everyone had gone off to bed, only Clara and Sirius remained, their faces aglow by the remaining embers in the hearth. Sirius had been looking rather forlorn all evening as he sat gazing out the window in the lounge. The boy noticeably jumped at the sound of her voice, as if he'd forgotten she was still in the room.
Replacing the shock on his face with his usually casual demeanor, he asked, "Which time?"
It was a fair question. When it came to Sirius, Clara could be talking about any number of schemes he had masterminded over the last month, "In Professor McGonagall's class during your exam."
Rather than answering, Sirius stood from the couch, "I feel like having a smoke."
Clara frowned, "It's freezing out."
"Luckily you and I are of age and can use a charm to keep warm, can't we?"
"Why are you saying we?"
A chuckle fell from his lips as the corner turned up into a mischievous smirk, "Do you want to know what I did or not?"
Clara chewed on her bottom lip as she weighed her options. But Sirius didn't seem too keen on waiting as he left the room before she could even answer. For some inexplicable reason, Clara's feet seemed to move on autopilot as she chased after the boy who was already halfway up the stairs before she finally caught up to him. A sly grin was playing at the corner of Sirius's lips as she fell in step with him. At that expression alone, she was already regretting her decision.
Once at the top of the stairs, in another display of his sheer boldness, Sirius waltzed right into Clara's bedroom as if it were his own and made his way towards her window. A prominent frown fell on her face as she watched him climb through without any consideration for her privacy.
"Grab a blanket, would you?" he requested.
At this point, Clara's better judgement would have been to simply shoo Sirius out of her space and forget about listening to the story of his silly prank all together. Despite this, Clara obliged and let out a long sigh as she grabbed the pink quilt from the end of her bed and followed him towards the window.
By the time she had tossed the blanket at him and crawled through the window, Sirius had already cast incendio on a scrap piece of parchment that he had charmed to float a safe distance away from them. While it wasn't the warmest they could be, Clara supposed it was better than nothing.
With a lit cigarette already dangling from his lips, Sirius wrapped the blanket over his shoulder before holding out the other end for Clara. When she hesitated at the gesture, Sirius rolled his eyes and pulled the cigarette from his lips, "Want to freeze?"
Again, it seemed as though all logic had escaped Clara in that moment. She could have easily gone inside for another blanket, or even a jumper. She could have simply rejected coming out on the roof with Sirius to begin with. And yet, she decided to scoot closer to his side as she let him wrap the other end of the blanket around her shoulder.
"That's a horrible habit." Clara muttered as she watched Sirius slowly exhale away from her.
A raspy chuckle escaped his throat, "I know, you've told me."
"I wish you'd quit."
The boy raised an eyebrow as her as he took another drag, "Why's that?"
"It's not good for you."
"Lots of things aren't good for you, like sweets and alcohol. That never stops you from drinking butterbeer, does it?"
"You know that's different." she retorted.
He laughed, "Well, had you considered that I don't care?"
Clara pressed her lips into a thin line as she inched away from him slightly, feeling repulsed by the mere smell of the tobacco, "It's also not very attractive, surely you care about that."
"To you." he replied with a smug grin.
"Pardon?"
"It's not attractive to you, and I can't say that I care much about your opinion when it comes to that."
A furious blush grew on Clara's cheeks at his insinuation, "I was just speaking in general."
"Surely you know that your standards aren't the general standard, right? Not everyone fancies gingers do they? And here you are fawning over Prewett."
"Either you tell me what you did in McGonagall's class, or I'm leaving." Clara replied, ignoring his mentioning of Fabian all together.
With a laugh, Sirius flicked the butt of his cigarette off into the distance and turned to her, "Why are you so curious anyway?"
"Because," she started, "It must've been bad if she felt the need to write to my parents. What I can't figure out is why you haven't been punished for it."
"You think I didn't get in trouble?" he asked with an amused grin.
"Well, you're acting like you've gotten away with it." she said crossly.
"I did get in trouble. But if I'm being honest, being lectured by your parents certainly isn't nearly as painful as what I would have gotten from mine."
Clara felt her throat tighten as she registered what Sirius was hinting at. While Fleamont and Euphemia could be stern when they needed to be - especially Euphemia - neither she nor Fleamont would ever lay a finger on their children. Suddenly, what had become of that poor Puffskein didn't matter to her anymore as the idea of Sirius being hurt took over every thought. Clara felt his hand come to rest on her knee as it seemed as though he read her reaction immediately.
"It's alright. I left so... I'm fine now. Better than fine, I'm good. I promise." he assured her before quickly pulling his hand away, deeming the gesture too intimate.
Clara nodded and avoided his eyes. Instead she brought her attention to the stars above them. Part of her wished she had done better in Astronomy so she could identify all of the constellations above them. Maybe she could have even been able to point out the star Sirius was named after, if only she hadn't dropped the class the second she was able to.
But thinking about his star suddenly reminded her of a different boy named for another twinkling point in the sky.
"Regulus asked me about you at Slughorn's party." Clara spoke after a moment.
Beside her, she could feel his body tense slightly. When she turned to look at him, his eyes were fixed on the smoldering embers of what remained of the parchment floating before them. But he didn't need to say anything, she could already read it in his eyes.
Being away from his brother for the holidays for the very first time was taking a toll on him.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have brought it up." she muttered.
"What did he ask?" Sirius inquired as he kept his eyes locked forward, not even glancing at Clara for a second.
"He just asked me if you've been doing well."
"And? What did you say?"
"I honestly didn't want to give him an answer. I mean, what gives him the right to-" she started venting but stopped when Sirius turned his head towards her, "I told him you were fine."
The boy nodded silently before turning away from her once more.
Sitting with Sirius on the roof, despite the drastic temperature change, reminded her of summer. Back when things between them seemed to start to shift closer towards friendship. Back when it felt like they had really bonded for the first time. But now she couldn't help but feel slightly confused about where she stood with him.
After all, once they returned to school in September, things between them went back to what it had always been. Sirius teased her and pranked her as if it were a game he was playing against himself and he was trying to beat his own high score.
Then again, there were those quiet moments alone in the common room much after midnight when she had seen him injured and worried about his safety as she healed him. Then it all seemed to change again when she and Fabian began spending time together. Even the pranks seemed to slow down unless it was a group effort of all of the Marauders against her.
It was all so confusing to her, and sitting here with him huddled under a blanket as the clock ticked closer and closer to Christmas Day didn't clear anything up for her.
The question kept nagging her. What was she to Sirius? A friend? An enemy? Something in between? She had no idea.
"Why have you been avoiding me?" she asked suddenly.
Sirius turned to her with his brows furrowed, "I haven't been."
"You have, ever since the end of November. The only time you talked to me was when you stole my book."
The boy let out a sigh, "Honestly Clara, seeing you with Fabian gets to be a bit annoying."
Silence fell between the two as their gaze seemed to be questioning the other. What was it about her relationship that bothered him so much? When their eyes lingered on each other a bit too long, it was Clara who finally cleared her throat and turned away.
"I don't see why it bothers you so much."
A moment of silence lingered before Sirius replied, "If you could see the two of you together, you'd think you were insufferable as well."
"Well, I think you're insufferable on your own." Clara muttered under her breath.
It was this that finally got Sirius to break into a fit of laughter. The kind that threatened to wake the house if they weren't careful. At the sight, Clara couldn't help but join in with the boy's sudden contagious outburst, burying her face into the blanket to muffle the sound.
Moments like this were few and far between, but when they happened, all Clara could think about was how easily they could get along if they could just set everything else aside. When it was just the two of them, there was a level of comfort that came naturally. But trying to figure out what she was to him felt daunting. Part of her wished things had stayed as they were, back when Sirius was just another one of James's friends that she wanted nothing to do with. But now she found herself wanting to be around him - she must have truly gone mad at some point between last summer and right this very second.
Off in the distance, the bell above the old church at the end of the road chimed a merry little muggle Christmas tune throughout the village. They must've been out there for at least half an hour as the clock finally struck midnight. The two of them tore their eyes away from each other as they looked out in the general direction of the sound.
"Happy Christmas, Clare."
"Clare?" was all she asked in response.
"Friends have nicknames, don't they?" he asked with a shrug.
"Oh, we're friends now?"
"Sure, why not?"
A million different reasons flooded Clara's head, but she ignored them all and merely asked, "And what am I meant to call you if we're giving each other nicknames."
"Anything but Siri, honestly. Padfoot is fine, it's what your brother calls me."
"Where on Earth did the name Padfoot even come from?"
A smirk grew on his lips, "I'm sure you'll find out why some day, but not today."
She glanced at the boy beside her, silently considering what childhood would have been like had the two had grown up being friends rather than constantly bickering for years. Part of her wished they could turn back time and start again. But perhaps walking into adulthood together was always how it was meant to be.
"Happy Christmas, Siri." she said innocently as a twinkle of mischief shined in her eyes.
"Oi!" he frowned as he snatched the blanket away from her and extinguished the burning parchment, "Just for that, you get to sit out here in the cold all night. Sweet dreams!"
Before she could even react, the boy quickly crawled through the window and latched it. Doing so all while a devilish grin adorned his lips. He knew she was without her wand. He knew she would freeze to death out there if he didn't let her inside. Still, the look of utter shock in her eyes only egged him on more as she heard his muffled laughter through the glass. The laughter that just moments ago had melted the tension between them now taunted her. Reality quickly set back in for Clara. Whatever Sirius was to her, "friend" was not at the top of her list of options.
Glancing to her right, she found her escape. The window of her father's study. When she looked back at Sirius through the window, she could tell he knew exactly what she was thinking. At the exact same moment, they both rushed to the window, hoping to get there before the other. Her nearly frostbitten fingers fumbled against the bottom of the window frame as she pried it open. Just when she thought she was in the clear, Clara saw Sirius burst through the door and run across the room.
In her rush to get back inside before he could stop her, Clara's slipper had gotten caught on the window sill sent her tumbling into the room. A loud thud followed by a harmony of pained groans, filled the room as Clara crashed into Sirius. A dull pain radiated in Clara's ankle, but it could have been worse had his body not been there to cushion her fall.
But as soon as their eyes locked, their position suddenly became apparent to them. The boy laying beneath her on the soft rug of her father's study. Both of their lips parted slightly to say something, mere inches from each other. Hitched breaths prevented any sort of verbal reaction. All that could be read was hidden within their gaze. It felt like years but really, it had only been a few fleeting seconds.
Finally Sirius let out a strained laugh that brought Clara back to reality as she quickly brushed her hair away from her face and crawled off of him, instead sitting herself at his feet. The boy propped himself up on his elbows, merely watching her. The only light in the room came from the silver moonlight outside, so Clara was fairly certain he couldn't see the embarrassing shade of crimson that had formed on her cheeks. Though she doubted herself as she saw Sirius biting back a smirk.
As if reading his mind, Clara pointed a finger at him, "Don't say anything."
Ignoring her order, he smiled wickedly, "If you wanted me under you, all you had to do was ask."
"I hate you." Clara muttered as she picked herself up off the ground.
"Now, is that something to say to a friend?" Sirius teased from the floor.
"We are not friends." she said curtly, whacking her hand on the back of his head as she walked past him.