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note: jungkook is 17 and jimin is 23. rest of the members are aged according to jimin. (ie. taehyung is 23, namjoon and hoseok are 24, yoongi 25 and seokjin 26.)
this is more like a jungkook centred oneshot.
lower case intended.
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"hyungie" a mumble mixes with the air, followed by some thud sound as the the metal peice collided with the leg of the coffee table, making the boy flinch to gain his posture back.
hoseok is the only one to look up, a smile tugs his lips upwards in a soft way. he nods his head as a gesture for the younger to take a seat; however jungkook rummages alone, virtually scanning the whole living room and sighs, not being able to locate the one face his eyes longed for. he shakes his head slowly, almost negligible, and turns around carefully with the help of his grey crutches, limping his way back towards the stairs.
a sympathetic sigh lingers out of hoseok's lips, eyes staring at the younger boy who looked skinnier and paler each day. he watches him struggling up the stairs, not used to the crutches even after the whole month. his attention is drawn towards the door, from where several footsteps ground towards him - to the living room.
"aish! it took so long today" namjoon says with an exhausted figure, sitting on the couch along with yoongi.
"yeah, but at least the meeting was successful" jin adds, taking a sip of water from the bottle that sat on the table half filled.
"hm" jimin nods, glancing towards the stares, "where's jungkook?"
"just went to his room" hoseok answers, "you should talk to him jimin, the kid is really in a bad state."
"i know, i've tried speak to him too" jin says, "me and yoongi both actually, but he doesn't open up."
jimin sighs softly, having eyes staring blankly into empty space as his mind replays the clips of his brother shutting himself down, not talking to his hyungs, not eating, not coming out of his room, ever since something happened. no one knows what. all the times jimin attempted to talk to the boy, he always smiled and shook his head, scaring the edler brother even more.
"he was looking for you" hoseok says suddenly, pulling jimin out of his thoughts.
"i think it's because he hasn't really seen jimin in the last two-three days." yoongi says, and looks at jimin, "y'know, you should stay at home with him for a while. don't worry about work, we'll handle it."
jimin nods in agreement, if his brother gets better, then everything is fine. his phone rings, earning subconscious glances from the boys, who now have a smile lining their lips.
"oppa!" aera's happy voice brings life into the room for a moment, giving them a second to relax with a wave of hope washing over that everything will be okay soon.
"hey my baby," jimin smiles to himself, holding the phone in front of him on speaker, "what are you doing?"
"i'm missing you and the others" she says, making the boys chuckle silently for they can imagine the little pout on her face while she's talking.
"aw we miss you too, riri!" taehyung chimes and the girl giggles.
"are you having fun with aunt ayeong?"
"yes! we went to the farm today and there were a lot of chickens! then me and sehun even got milk from the cow!"
"ah that's great," jimin says and ends up chuckling when the sister hums in response. "did you have dinner?"
"not yet, uncle is setting up for barbecue." aera grins, "uhm where's koo? why is he not talking to me?"
"uh he's... he's in his room, sleeping. i'll tell him to talk to you when he wakes up okay?"
"mm-hmm, tell koo that i miss him. i'll go now, bye oppa!"
"bye honey, have fun." the call is ended and jimin sighs deeply. maybe if aera was here it wouldn't have been this hard for any of them, the girl was a constant source of joy and energy, and now when she's not around, things seem like falling apart. but on second thoughts, jimin did feel like it is good that she's not here. she wouldn't be able to see her koo like this.
"did he eat something?" he asks, glancing at hoseok who was at home today after taking an off from work as he said he was too tired.
"no, i tried calling him to eat, but he said he doesn't have an appetite."
"aish! this kid" jimin shakes his head.
"don't worry, i'll cook something." yoongi volunteers, "you go and get changed first."
"yeah, thanks" jimin smiles at him, heading upstairs while jin and yoongi went to the kitchen to prepare something that their youngest likes and will eat willingly.
meanwhile jungkook lays in the bed, staring at the ceiling that looks too familiar. the radium stickers of stars, planets, the moon and a rocket are still up there and shine just as bright as the first night jungkook saw them laying in his bed. he shifts to his side, tearing off his gaze that now lands on the crutches that are lying on the floor. a faint huff leaves his mouth and he turns to face the other side, finding a picture of his hyungs, his sister and himself, on the nightstand around which a bunch of crumbled papers are scattered. he sighs heavily in frustration and shoves the things down from the nightstand, grabbing a pillow and burying his face in it as his body trembles and breath quivers, muffling between his own sobs.
his palm presses against his mouth tightly, shivering and crying to the point where he is having difficulty breathing. his chest rises and falls with every uneven breath he takes, coughing for he chokes and lets out a painful groan while clutching onto the pillow with the other hand as if his life depends on it.
his body jolts with the knock at the door, trying his best to stop crying and focus on what the person outside his room was saying. but his ears perceive the sound very faint, he rubs his eyes glancing at the door to make sure it is locked.
"kook" he hears, flinching again and pulls up the covers, laying quietly as the door clicks open slowly.
"are you sleeping, champ?" he makes out his brother's voice, soft and loving. the bed dips down next to him, and jungkook's breathing increases, chewing on his lower lip to avoid letting out a cry right now.
when jungkook doesn't reply, jimin assumes he's sleeping indeed and pats his back gently, "sleep well-" he stops, frowning on feeling the boy shivering beneath his touch. he tugs the blanket down, making jungkook shift in an attempt to hide his puffy face.
"jungkook-ah, are you cold?" jimin asks, touching his arms and neck, "god! get up, you're burning."
jungkook shifts again, blinking a few times, failing on keeping his voice to himself as he lets out a breathy whimper. jimin's hand pulls the pillow away, making the younger gulp thickly and sob again. he turns around hastily, stuffing himself in jimin's embrace, one arm wrapping around the elder's waist and clutching on the fabric of jimin's shirt with the other hand.
jimin looks down, confusion glinting in his eyes as he watches the jungkook crying uncontrollably into his shirt. his hands are holding the boy, one hand on the back of his head and one on his back.
"hey hey, easy buddy" he says almost like a whisper against jungkook's hair as he's leaning down.
jungkook doesn't listen. his body trembles almost as if going to break and his cries sound painful, giving jimin tears in his eyes, seeing his younger brother in such a terrible state. jungkook shakes his head, mumbling something that is too slurred for jimin to make out a meaning. he blinks a few times, dropping a lone tear as he holds jungkook securely.
"shh you're okay" jimin says, rubbing jungkook's back.
"h-hyung..." the younger chokes out, coughing and sniffing while his eyes are balling out tears.
"yes kook, i'm right here" jimin stares at him, noticing the distinct way of crying. just looking at jungkook like this - bloodshot eyes, cheeks puffed with tears, quivering and swollen lips, as if crying for help - seems painful for jimin. he breathes deeply, pulling jungkook in a hug, "hyungie is here with you, don't worry"
"just focus on my voice okay?" jimin says softly, not getting a response but assumes jungkook heard him for the boy held his hand, glancing up at him.
"breath with me," he says and inhales, nodding for jungkook to do the same. the younger follows him after a few seconds, "out" and they release the air out.
"again, in" jimin says, inhaling with jungkook following him gradually.
"out"
jungkook sighs softly, too tired with all the activity and shifts a little, letting out a groan, "it's okay" jimin is quick to assure him, "i'm not leaving."
"hyung..." jungkook's voice sounds more breathy and hoarse. he looks up with teary eyes, "i'm sorry"
"there's nothing to apologize about, kook-"
"there is" the boy mumbles, "i'm- i'm sorry for everything hyung. all the hyungs are working so hard and i'm just making things more difficult. i... i don't know what is happening to me. i don't wanna make anyone's life hard, but i always end up maing it that way. even in school, they- they were right, the problem was me and now i didn't go to school this whole month, so everything is fine there.
"i don't feel like doing anything hyung... i miss aera a lot, but i can't bring myself to talk to her. i can't talk to anyone. i miss my hyungs so much, but... i don't wanna make you all upset. i've cried so many times, hyungie, that's why just stay up here, alone, so i don't worry you guys. you're working so hard for me and riri, but i'm just... burdening you more. sometimes i feel like your life would've been much easier if i wasn't a part of it... if i... if i could just disappear, everyone will be fine then, right? i'm so sorry..."
jimin doesn't realize the tears that left his eyes, hearing his younger brother pouring out his thoughts that no one knows how long he has been keeping inside. he releases a breath, wiping the tears from his eyes and glances at jungkook.
"you're so wrong, jungkook." he says, "i don't know what made you think like that, but trust me, it's not true. none of that is true. especially the last one. you and aera are everything to me, i can't even imagine what i'd do if i ever happen to lose you or her. do you really think my life will be easier without you?"
jungkook stares at him, not saying anything and jimin smiles sadly, "no jungkook, think about it yourself, if you wouldn't be here then who's gonna call me hyungie? who's gonna steal my card? who will fight me for winning the videogames? who will save me the last peice of chicken from tae? who will give me a hug when i'm stressed? and who will play with aera and be her super koo?"
"you have no idea how thankful i am to have you as my brother, kook. after mom and dad passed away, you're the one who i'm hanging on to, aera's too young to understand. for her, her oppas are superheros who never lose and never get tired. but you know the reality, and help me cope with everything. don't think like that about yourself, bud, your hyungs and your sister love you a lot. so much that even the thought of losing you is enough to haunt them."
jungkook looks down, nodding his head slowly as a tear slides down from his cheek. he shifts towards the elder, placing his head on his hyung's lap, "i don't wanna say this, but i guess you should think a little." jimin says, stroking jungkook's hair, "if you feel like no one loves you, just think about us once. you said you wanted to disappear... if me or riri weren't a part of your life, or you lose us, how would you feel?"
jungkook looks up at him, shaking his head as more tears roll down from his cheeks, probably finding it hard to even imagine what his brother said. jimin chuckles a little, hugging jungkook again, for he was crying too much, "i'm sorry," he whispers.
"d-don't leave me..." jungkook sobs in jimin's shirt.
"yeah, i'm not leaving you, champ."
"hyung w-why do you say that? don't say like that, i don't wan' lose you and riri."
"i know, kiddo. look at yourself, just the thought of losing me or riri is hurting you. then how can you think that we won't mind your absence?" jimin says softly, caressing jungkook's back, "losing you will hurt me the the same, kook."
"i'm sorry hungie..." jungkook cries repeatedly, earning a slight chuckle from jimin who wipes his tears as well.
"it's okay, don't cry. hyung's not leaving you, and i'm sorry for saying that." the elder says, wiping jungkook's tears, "whoever told you all of that, has no idea how much you mean to your family and how much your family means to you. so don't think about them and just trust your hyungie, you're my champ, jungkook."
"you're the champ, hyung" jungkook says and sees jimin shaking his head.
"for you, i may be the champ. but for me, it's you." jimin smiles.
"and ri..."
jimin chuckles, nodding at the younger's words, "she's the biggest champ." jungkook laughs a little, remembering how how aera argued when they called her champ, because jungkook once told her that she's the biggest champ and now if any of the boys miss the term 'biggest' the girl gets sad.
"thanks hyung" jungkook says.
"don't thank me. let's go and eat, i bet you're hungry."
jungkook takes a deep breath and sits up with jimin's help and takes his crutches, "but i don't really feel like eating..."
"yes, you do. have you seen how skinny you've become? don't starve yourself jungkook, it's not good. and if you don't wanna eat, then tell me i'll feed you."
"i'm not a baby hyung"
"you are, to your hyungs."
"okay fine, i'll eat."
"that's my boy! come on everyone will be happy to know that you're eating with us."
jungkook follows the elder with small smile that reflects his gratitude and appreciation towards jimin for him to be so understanding and patient with him always. lost in thoughts, he stumbles on the steps, holding onto Jimin tightly.
"hey be careful, we don't want you getting your left leg fractured too." jimin says, glancing at the plaster on jungkook's right leg that he has ever since the day jimin received a call saying that jungkook fell too hard during his soccer practice.
jungkook smiles softly, noticing his hyungs' eyes on him as soon as they enter the kitchen. he takes the seat that used to be his when everyone ate together. the boys smiled at him, joining him on the dining table.
"eat well" jin says in a tender tone of voice, serving jungkook his favourite dinner. rice, kimchi, pork bulgogi, japchae. in short, everything he likes.
"thank you" the boy mumbles softly, taking his first bite as he starts with kimchi first, but stops eventually on noticing his hyungs are not eating. he gulps nervously, "w-what happened?"
"ah nothing," jin smiles, glancing at the others who lower their heads, pretending to focus on their food while trying to hide the smile their youngest had brought them.
jungkook smiles too, finally being able to see his hyungs' love for him clearly and without being blinded by the bad thoughts.
"hyung," he calls, earning instant hums from all of them, making him smile a little, "when is riri coming back?"
"next week" jimin answers, "you can call her tomorrow, she was asking about you."
jungkook nods, taking another bite of his food, "can we go and bring her back tomorrow?"
"yeah, if you want" yoongi smiles, "she'll be happy to see you there."
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next day
"koo!" aera gasps, seeing jungkook leaning against their car. the girl runs to give him a tight hug, making him smile and lean down, placing a kiss on her forehead.
"i missed you so much" he whispers, with tears brimming his eyes, "i'm sorry for not talking to you, princess."
"it's okay, you came to surprise me. i'm so happy!" she chirps, giggling up at him, "did you bring candies too?"
"of course, and i asked jiminie oppa to get us more videogames."
"yes!" aera cheers, hugging him again, "koo's the best!"
jimin and yoongi smile at the two watching them interact, as aera asked tons of questions about jungkook's leg and what the boys did while she was at their aunt's place with the cousin who is the same age as her. jungkook talked to her as well, holding her close to himself all the way back to their house.
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a/n: everyone needs affection and assurance ✨
what keeps you motivated when you don't feel like doing anything?
anyways, without getting into some deep and sentimental talks, let's wrap it up here. actually i'm a little busy today so i updated now, because later i have to do a lot of physics to do which sucks honestly. but okay, i chose this so, i've to work.
enough with the rant. vote if you like, keep showing your love and support (and follow me? 😁) thank you so much! see y'all on friday! 💜