𝐒𝐀𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐒 𝐔𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐈 𝐒𝐌𝐈𝐓𝐇
➟ 𝘼𝙪𝙜𝙪𝙨𝙩𝙖, 𝙈𝙖𝙞𝙣𝙚
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" today will be a good day, i'm fine and i got this " i said to myself as i looked in the mirror wiping the tears from my eyes.
" let me not lie, i'm not fine and i definitely do have this BUT i will try to pull through today " i said grabbing my hoodie and throwing it on.
i grabbed my phone and car keys off the dresser along with my bag which had everything that i needed inside of it.
i slid into my brown crocs then left out of my room turning the lights off. i walked out of the house and got inside my car and my phone started to ring making me sigh.
kandy.
would like to facetime..
i declined her call then went to her contact regular calling her. we grown, the fuck is you facetiming me for ?
" what " i said as soon as she answered.
" the fuck you got a attitude for ? " she said and i could just tell she had a mug on her face.
" kandance what the fuck is you calling me for ? " i questioned getting irritated.
i started up my car and pulled out of my driveway.
" i just wanted to know what you was doing today because me and arianna was bored and wanted you to come chill with us since you had stopped " she explained and i smacked my lips.
" that's it ? go find something to do then if you so bored " i said.
" you always have a attitude about some shit, bye " she said and i just rolled my eyes tossing my phone over in the seat.
after my sister's death i really just distanced myself from everyone, even my momma nem. they just kept pressuring me to do shit and go to therapists so i just packed my shit and moved out.
i was going over there today, it would be my first time in 5 months seeing them.
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i stuck my key in the hole and twisted it unlocking the door. i walked inside of the house instantly being hit with the smell of baked chicken making a small smile play on his face.
" MA " i yelled out.
" SAIDES ? " she yelled back and i walked into the kitchen seeing her over the stove cooking.
she stopped and looked at me for s second before pulling me into a big hug.
" i missed you so much " she said as we rocked back and forth.
" i missed you too mama, i'm sorry that i just up and left you here. i wasn't right of me knowing that you were dealing with nizhoni's death too " i said as tears rolled down my face.
" it's okay honey, i apologize for trying to force you to do some things you didn't want to do, i pushed you away " she said placing a soft kiss on my cheek and wiping my tears.
" where's pa and sean ? i know that had to be here since you cooking more than you would for yourself " i said pulling out a chair and sitting at the island.
" they went out to get me some more seasonings or celery " she told me and i nodded my head " you've gotten so much more beautiful "
i smiled at her and watched as she started cooking again. i missed these days like this, me, nizhoni, pa and sean would all just sit around and bond eating some of ma's cooking.
nizhoni would help her here and there since she was a big cook while me, pa and sean would argue over football and basketball teams, sometimes baseball.
" ima be back " i told my mom and she nodded her head.
i got up and went over to the stairs, i walked up them and down the hall to where me and nizhoni old rooms where.
nizhoni was 17 when she died, she got shot at 5 times.
" nizhoni move damn, ugly ass girl. folks think just because they turned 17 a week ago they the shit " i spoke mugging nizhoni who was walking next to me.
" bitches think cause they finna turn 18 they can have they panties inna bunch, shut up bitch " she said mushing my head and i smacked her hand.
" snitching on you " she said and i rolled my eyes.
" do it ion care, that's why i hate yo young ass "
" bitch you love my young ass " she said and i shook my head no " say you love me saides "
" no cause i don't love you "
" well bitch ion care because i love you, ima always love you like a sister should. its giving evil twin " she said and i laughed.
" mmtch, i love you nizhoni " i said and she placed her hand on her chest in shock.
" SAY THAT AGAIN " she said pulling out her phone going on instagram then going on live.
" y'all i love nizhoni, happy ? " i said squinting.
" i love you too, anyways y'all i just wanted to say thank you for 30k on instagram and 200k on youtube, it really mines a lot to me ! but i have a question i need to know what y'all want me to cook tonight ? cause i was thinking of filming me cooking steak, mashed potatoes and shrimp " she said as her live flooded with comments of ' yea do that '
" nizhoni you gon cook for me too ? " i asked and she scrunched her face up.
" bitch do it look like im a chef "
" yep " i said popping the ' p '
" yes i'll cook for yo- "
before she could finish gun shots went off multiple times and i watched as blood splattered all over my clothing. nizhoni's lifeless body dropped to the ground.
wherever the bullets were coming from had stopped once nizhoni's body fell to the ground.
" congrats on 300k baby, you deserved it " i said as tears rolled down my face looking at nizhoni's framed photos of her 200k photoshoot.
i sat down in her bed taking my shoes of and putting my feet up in the bed. i curled up in the bed letting tears just fall down my face.
i hurt being in here just not as much as it use to.
" who the fuck- "
the bedroom door busted open revealing sean there, i looked at him and he smiled walking over to me.
sean was the oldest one, he was 22, i was 18 and nizhoni was 17.
" give me a hug, i missed you " sean said and i sat up wrapping my arms around him hugging him.
" i'm sorry that i said- it's good saides, i promise you it is " he spoke cutting me off.
" i love you "
" i love you too lani " he said calling me by my middle name.
we broke off the hug and i laid back in the bed and he did the same. i placed my head on his shoulder. i shut my eyes soon dozing off.