"Alright, Fess up. Who did it?"
Aether stood up in front of the dining room table with his hands planted on his hips, Paimon in the same position floating just beside him. Nearly everyone else was seated in a spot at the table, looking at Aether who had called this very important meeting after the incident that had occured late last night.
"Notice how Mona isn't here--" (Y/N) started mumbling but was quickly cut off by Paimon, who adorned an angry tic mark at the side of her head as she pointed in their direction angrily.
"You're at the top of the suspect list!" Paimon accused, everyone turning to look at (Y/N) with various expressions. (Y/N) looked absolutely appalled and offended at this, stumbling over their words as they defended themself on the spot.
"W-WHAT?! I'M THE VICTIM HERE!" (Y/N) pointed out, dramatically cradling their head and making exaggerated sniffling noises as if to prove their point.
"Do you really think I would do something so foolish?" Xiao scoffed as he crossed his arms over his chest, his leg impatiently bouncing up and down underneath the table. He raised an eyebrow at Aether as if to back him up, seeing as he would be able to defend him if not Paimon.
An exasperated sigh emerged from the seat just beside him, the person shaking their head in worry.
"Same here, I truthfully would have taken responsibility if it were me. I hope things get resolved soon enough." Jean said as she placed her palm over her heart to show her sincerity, and no one could really argue against that. Jean was far from the type of person that would do that to (Y/N).
Paimon listened to their worries while humming in thought after what each of them said, a finger to her chin as she rubbed it as if there were a beard. She nodded her head after a bit of contemplation, sending a nod over to Aether who sent one back.
"You're right. Jean, Xiao, you two may go." Paimon declared while waving them off, Xiao not hesitating in the slightest to scoot out from his chair and push it in properly before walking away.
Meanwhile, Jean sent everyone a worried glance before nodding her head softly, wishing them luck in finding whoever was the culprit before doing the same. After all, she had the responsibility of looking after a city and couldn't waste a single moment.
"Eh?" Hu Tao questioned with a tilt of her head, wondering why she was left here.
"THAT'S NOT FAIR!" (Y/N) shouted while standing up abruptly from their seat and slamming their hands on the table, one hand motioning to point in the direction the two had left the room in.
"WHAT ABOUT US?" Venti exclaimed desperately while playing completely innocent, like he would never do such a thing, when truthfully he probably would.
"I can't say I'm very pleased about this outcome either." Albedo said with a troubled expression, probably having better things to do than figure out what happened last night.
"Well you four are the only ones likely to do something like this! Hu Tao and her pranks, Albedo and his experiments, and (Y/N) and Venti with their foolishness!" Paimon pointed out, scrutinizing each and every one as she mentioned their names. They all slinked back in their seats, though Venti and (Y/N) weren't very pleased at what Paimon thought of them.
"WE ARE NOT FOOLISH!" (Y/N) exclaimed while denying the fact, claiming they were the 'most responsible person in Teyvat'.
"MHM!" Venti hummed in agreement.
"..." No one said a word as they all stared blankly at the two trouble makers, even Hu Tao as she muffled a snicker behind her hand.
"...Moving on, we will now be investigating as a group. Make sure to call out anyone that seems suspicious." Paimon said while ignoring the two with a sweat drop, Aether blinking in disbelief.
"Onwards, to (Y/N)'s room!"
——————♡——————
"Ehh?! What happened in here!? Maybe there's a poltergeist!" Hu Tao exclaimed in surprise as she looked at the mess that littered the floor of her roommates bedroom. Everyone stood around, cautious in their steps as they tried to avoid messing with potential evidence.
"Trying to act oblivious and blame it on something else are we? I think it was Hu Tao." (Y/N) accused while looking around to see if anyone else noticed her suspicious actions. Venti made eye contact and nodded his head subtly, as if to say he picked up on the same thing.
"What? No way! I would never go this far, even for a prank!" Hu Tao defended while rapidly shaking her head in denial, her hands going up in front of her in defense, trying to prove her innocence further by the action.
"How interesting. The window must have been broken from the outside, seeing as the glass is lying on the inside..." Albedo mumbled under his breath as he crouched to the ground and picked up a shard of glass, turning it over and nodding his head, his eyes darting to other objects on the floor as he tried to pick up any other clues that could explain the situation.
"He's definitely misleading us..." Venti claimed while narrowing his eyes in distrust, making the alchemist look up at him with a deadpan expression.
"No, Paimon can confirm the glass is on the inside." Paimon said while looking at the glass shards on the floor and nodding her head, as it was in fact inside the room and not outside. That would mean Albedo wasn't misleading them, since it was a definite fact that the glass was literally right there. Aether shook his head before taking another look around to see if he missed anything from when he was in here inspecting earlier.
"UgHhh can you just tell us who did it?" (Y/N) impatiently whined, having other things to do because they finally had something to do with their life. Like messing with Diluc now that Venti's tab was paid, training with Rosaria in stealth, or going on adventures with Bennett. So many cool Mondstadt friends they had met now fully occupied their time, prior to being a loner in the middle of literally nowhere.
"We haven't fully investigated yet, be patient." Aether told them while he stared at something rather suspicious on the ground. Unless (Y/N) liked small boulders as decoration, he felt that really didn't belong there.
"First, I feel that we should establish Alibi's." Albedo suggested as he stood up from his crouched position, taking the lead to the investigation by instinct even though he was very much a suspect as much as anyone else in the room.
(Y/N) droned out the interrogations of 'where was everyone last night' in disinterest, as they contemplated how long it would take to fix a window. Well, with Aether's help, it would probably only take less than a day, since he was rather productive and efficient since he basically built this place from the ground up.
"Pssst, hey (Y/N)" Venti scooched over towards (Y/N), who was staring at the giant rock in the room, zoning out as if they pondered if that had always been there or not. Their eyes immediately snapped over towards Venti, taking steps backwards while giving him a dirty look.
"NO. No, Don't you 'PsSsSsT' me! You're going to get us in trouble again! I must resist doing stupid shit with you!" (Y/N), acting rational for once, decided to not even indulge in Venti's interests, though he didn't back down as he moved towards them with no intention of letting his idea go.
"No, it's not stupid this time, and you're the one who got us in trouble last time..." Venti mentioned while sneaking glances to see if anyone noticed the two acting suspicious yet, but they were huddled gathering alibis, so none of them noticed them yet. (Y/N) reluctantly nodded their head, though continued to scrutinize Venti as they waited for him to spout his idea.
"...Anyways, don't you think this is kind of like a cool mystery novel? It's like we're real detectives!" Venti excitedly exclaimed with stars in his eyes as he made a motion with his hand to form a spyglass in front of his eye, inspecting (Y/N) as he got up close to their face.
(Y/N) froze and hummed, realizing he was absolutely right. They technically were like detectives, investigating a crime scene, suspecting each other, and establishing alibis.
"...You're right. There's a problem with that though, there's no authentic detectives here!" (Y/N) complained as they looked at the traveler, Teyvat tour guide, alchemist, and funeral parlor director.
"Let's slip out, I've got an idea."
——————♡——————
"...What're you two wearing?" Albedo monotonously asked while a still expression came to his face, his previous conversation coming to a complete halt as he was just questioning where the two ran off to.
Venti and (Y/N) stood in the doorway, spectacles on their face while they were dressed in expensive looking suits. Venti, who was fake smoking from a pipe with the help of his vision, narrowed his eyes at the suspects in the room while (Y/N), who stared through the giant magnifying glass at everyone, got completely into character.
"Silence. You are all hereby suspects to the attempted break-in of (Y/N)'s room through shattering their window." Venti demanded as he walked inside and towards the group, Hu Tao busting out laughing with Paimon, the two not being able to take their outfits seriously. (Y/N) quickly followed and kept an apathetic expression, trying to look cool and mysterious as they inspected the room, heavily emphasizing their leaning to show they were inspecting it.
"We will start by gathering your alibi's." (Y/N) said with a nod of their head as they adjusted their tie and stood straight up, pulling out a feather pen and paper from their breast pocket as they moved along with Venti to start gathering the alibis.
"OH, NO YOU DON'T! We already went over alibis!" Paimon said as she swiftly flew over in (Y/N)'s direction and snatched the note pad right out of their hand. (Y/N) attempted to grab at her, but Paimon already memorized all of their moves and was able to avoid their hands.
"AH! GIVE THAT BACK, PAIMON!" (Y/N) whined as they jumped up and tried to hit Paimon out of the air, Paimon flying higher up so that they couldn't reach them.
"IF ANYTHING, PAIMON AND AETHER SHOULD BE WEARING THAT AND HAVING COOL NOTEPADS. YOU'RE BOTH STILL SUSPECTS!" Paimon scolded as she stuck her tongue out and held the notepad further away from (Y/N).
(Y/N) stopped what they were doing and lowered their hand, the spectacle falling from their face while Venti's pipe fell from his mouth.
"Oh. right." (Y/N) whispered out, still gathering their thoughts as there was always a buffering time for them to process things. (Y/N) then began to sob dramatically before they clasped their hands in a pleading motion.
"I'M INNOCENT, I SWEAR! PLEASE, DON'T LOCK ME AWAY! THERE'S STILL SO MUCH I HAVE YET TO SEE!" (Y/N) pleaded as they tried to invoke as much sympathy as possible from Aether and Paimon, though that would obviously never work, they still attempted it.
"SO MUCH WINE I HAVE YET TO TASTE!" Venti added on as he dramatically put a hand to his forehead, as if he were going to faint, while he stumbled backwards in disbelief.
"...I highly doubt you two are going to be imprisoned, it is just a window after all." Albedo mentioned as his lip curved upwards forming a small smile, Hu Tao just as amused as she contemplated getting a Kamera to capture this moment, though they probably would be done with their theatrics by the time she got one with their sudden mood changes.
"I suggest whoever did it should just fess up." Albedo said as he crossed his arms and shook his head at the whole ridiculousness of the situation. He hadn't even eaten breakfast yet, and he was getting quite hungry. Mona had better hurry up, or else he would search the ends of Teyvat for materials to craft a truth potion.
"You definitely did it bro stop trying to make it seem like you didn't, pretty convincing though, almost got me." (Y/N) said as they immediately stopped their fake crying to deadpan at Albedo, accusing him of trying to get the blame away from him. Albedo only rubbed his eyelids gently with his thumb and pointer finger, shaking his head as he hid a miniscule smile behind his hand.
"Like I said~ Maybe it's the work of a being no longer with us!" Hu Tao reminded, spooking Paimon out as she questioned Hu Tao if that was really possible.
"Can beings throw rocks at my fucking window?!" (Y/N) exclaimed in horror, their face draining of it's natural color as they asked the ghost expert for their input. Hu Tao giggled lightly behind her long fingers, her jewelry chiming with her movements.
"Heheh, unfortunately not. So... perhaps it was one of us standing in this room." Hu Tao said with a toothy grin, putting the accusation back on everyone in there. Though, (Y/N) just had to bring in Mona, who went out earlier for a bit and had currently not returned.
"Or not standing in this room, just saying."
——————♡——————
The biggest mystery of 'who broke (Y/N)'s window would be past down in fables for generations to come, predecessors speaking of the incident like it were the most cruelest betrayal in history. Okay, it wasn't that big of a deal, but it was a big deal to those who lived in the teapot, because there were simply no clues as to motive or reason behind breaking the window. There was no intention to harm (Y/N) by the looks of it, the only thing off was the shattered pane that dirtied their floor.
And so, the agreed upon decision was that they would wait for Mona to return to the teapot so she could use her expertise to determine the culprit. When that was mentioned, someone's breath hitched as they internally panicked, though no one noticed.
"Ah, I see. What an odd situation, apologies I wasn't here sooner." Mona said with a furrowed brow as Paimon finished briefing her on the situation, Mona finding the whole thing quite curious.
"So... uh, do you like, look back in time and see who did it?" (Y/N) asked with a tilt of their head, wondering just how the magician would be able to figure out something the two genius detectives couldn't.
"Well, you said there was a stone of some sorts, didn't you?" Mona mentioned while looking around, the pile of glass shards in the corner since Albedo suggested it would be safer if they swept it up so no one got cut.
"Yes." Aether nodded his head in confirmation and looked towards the relatively big rock, Mona nodding her head in satisfaction as she believed that would be enough, considering it must have been the object responsible for shattering the window.
"I would assume then that would be our key to finding the truth, show me it." Mona demanded while jutting out her hip and placing her hand on it, her ego as big as ever a everyone relied on her. Though, she was glad she could help too, it just felt really good to be depended on.
Aether and Paimon brought Mona over to it and she began to do her thing, using her vision as guidance as she created small constellations and circles around the rock. She scrutinized the rock with narrowed eyes as she held out her hands, her palms facing the rock as she activated her vision making the jewelry on her body glow a dark shade of blue.
After a few seconds of complete silence, everyone staring intensely as they waited on the results, Mona's eyes visibly widened as she let a small gasp escape from her parted lips. Her shocked expression then turned completely irritated, standing up as she swiped her hand to rid the spell she had cast to see who had made contact with the rock late last night, as well as follow its trajectory, confirming it was in fact the object that shattered the window.
"...Are you serious?" Mona said out loud as she turned around and rubbed at her closed eyelids, putting a hand to her hip as she gathered her thoughts. She just really couldn't believe who did it, but she saw it with her own eyes, and she was never wrong.
"Huh? Did you figure out the culprit, Mona?" Hu Tao asked curiously, everyone practically on edge and wanting to know the same thing. Paimon was excited for the reveal, her fists clenching as she made sure she would give a soft beating to whoever could do this to (Y/N)'s room.
"There wasn't just a culprit, there was two!" Mona unintentionally raised her voice in disbelief.
'Oh shit.'
Everyone in the room turned to look at Venti and (Y/N), the two beginning to sweat profusely as they avoided eye contact but they could feel all of the eyes on them.
"Hey come on, Mona hasn't confirmed it was us--" (Y/N) defended with their hands in front of them since it was instant reaction that everyone looked in their direction along with Venti's, who was already slinking out while they were distracted.
"It was them." Mona confirmed with no hesitation, her hands folding across her chest as she sent an unamused expression to (Y/N), though secretly she was quite amused at their idiocy.
.
.
.
"SPLIT UP!" (Y/N) shouted, but Venti didn't have to hear that twice as he was already long gone.
——————♡——————
In the end, they were both caught, though Aether had to admit, their hiding places were pretty good. Venti hid in replace of the statue that decorated the outdoor fountain, holding a jug filled up with water to look as if he were part of the display, those searching for the two having gone past him multiple times because it looked so natural. Meanwhile, (Y/N) was found almost right away because they hid inside Tubby's old teapot, the addition of another tubby that had exact features to (Y/N) not convincing anyone in the slightest.
So why would they break (Y/N)'s window and play dumb the whole time? Well, it starts off with (Y/N) and Venti returning from a bar called the "Cat's tail bar", Venti wheezing the whole time from his allergy to cats. By the name they should have figured out there would be cats, but well, it is what it is.
They had gone to try Diona's incredibly famed drinks that never disappoint, and they weren't disappointed in the slightest. The two ended up going back to the teapot late at night, the doors locked for whatever reason and everyone fast asleep.
Thinking it common courtesy to not cause a commotion and wake everyone up, they instead tried to get Aether' attention, the two resorting to throwing rocks at Aether's window to wake him up.
The night of the incident:
Venti had picked up a pebble and gave it a solid toss, the small rock hitting the window and bouncing off, making a noticeable 'clonk' noise as it did so.
"Ehh, maybe we should just sleep outside." Venti suggested as he stuck his tongue out of his mouth in concentration, readying to throw another pebble. Just as he was reeling back his hand to throw it, he hesitated as (Y/N) threw one of their own pebbles, hitting the window before it fell back to the ground.
"No way. I hate bugs. One will crawl up your nose, Venti." (Y/N) said as they grabbed another pebble, the two not realizing the pebbles they were grabbing were gradually getting bigger and bigger.
"Agh! Don't say that! ...Maybe we should just crash at Diluc's place." Venti suggested with a shrug before lifting up a sturdy oval shaped rock and tossing it with a bit more effort than the last.
"Why would you invite yourself to the devil's domain?!" (Y/N) complained as a visible shiver racked their body, knowing he would just lecture them, then they would try to sneak into his cellar, resulting in them having to pay off another tab.
Venti tossed another rock with a small grunt, this one taking both of his hands to throw but it ended up missing. He dusted off both of his hands and let out a breath of air before wiping at a bead of sweat forming at his eyebrow.
"He's not that bad."
Just as Venti had said that, an ear piercing shattering echoed throughout the teapot, the two freezing up like a cat in an alley having a light shined on it.
(Y/N) had done the same as Venti, picking up a huge rock with the both of their hands, though (Y/N) hadn't missed like Venti did.
"WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!" Venti whisper shouted as he stared with wide eyes at (Y/N), panic written all over the both of their faces.
"YOU DID IT FIRST!" (Y/N) accused as they gestured to the almost similar sized rock that Venti had threw just before them.
The two shut up at the sound of something coming from the house's direction, the two immediately stopping their arguing and facing its direction. They waited anxiously for someone to say anything or appear from the window, but no one ever arrived.
"Maybe he's a heavy sleeper?" (Y/N) suggested, referring to Aether as they were trying to get his attention by throwing those rocks. It worked in romance novels after all.
"(Y/N). Do me a favor... recount how many windows over is the one we just broke." Venti said as his face morphed into a horrified expression at the realization he had just made. (Y/N) gave him a puzzled expression before doing as he said, looking to the far upper left before counting each window, since each room had its own window.
"One... two... three... shit." (Y/N) said as they pointed at each individual one before smacking their forehead in realization.
"Shit is right! That's your room isn't it?! Venti recalled, as theirs was the one all the way to the right from where they stood, and of course the two would get no one's attention because no one would be in there. After all, the owner of the room was standing right beside him.
"...well at least we can get in? Hey, no one noticed, so we can just keep this our little secret." (Y/N) suggested, figuring they could just clean up the mess and replace the window without it being too much of a problem.
"Good idea. Hopefully nobody notices by the time you finish." Venti said while beginning to untie his left braid as he knew he would immediately go to bed to sleep off the alcohol he had tonight.
"You? You mean we, right?" (Y/N) established with narrowed eyes, no intention of doing it themself because they can't say they've ever installed a window.
"Yeah, fine!"
And so the two had shook on it before climbing up the side of the house like maniacs and crawling through (Y/N)'s window, careful to avoid any shards of glass. (Y/N) just slept peacefully, figuring they would clean it in the morning while Venti went to his own room to sleep just as carefree. The two were a little tipsy that night, which may have contributed to the irrational decision they didn't think through all the way.
What (Y/N) hadn't anticipated in the morning for was for Paimon to show up with breakfast as celebration of them being free of their debt from Diluc. It had escalated far too quickly, and (Y/N) made the quick excuse that they heard nothing and didn't know what had happened.
This event would be the start of the Venti and (Y/N) protocols being established, the rules on what to do if they were up to no good. Everyone in the teapot would have to undergo drills in order to practice being able to tell if they were being suspicious or not, and any and all actions were to reported to headmaster Aether and vice headmaster Paimon immediately.