⚠️TW⚠️ drinking and drunken actions
The next few days go by in a routine blur. Happily, I am drunk most of them. I take my first sip of kvas in the crow's nest when I see a certain Suli girl hobble into the daylight. Nina embraces her and I quickly slide down the rope to meet her. I swing over the water and my heart skips a beat. I swing safely back on deck when I embrace Inej.
"I'm so glad you're awake. And with a new scar no less." I see the tear in Inej's shirt where she was stabbed. "Twins." I lift my shirt a bit and chuckle. Inej gives me a warm smile.
"Awe now I've gotta get stabbed." Nina jokes. We all laugh and go to stand at the railing.
The days go by and I have few conversations. Soon my crow's nest is littered with empty kvas bottles. When night falls I throw them into the ocean.
"That's not very nice to the sea life," Rotty complains.
"If you haven't noticed, I'm not a very nice person, Rotty," I yell down the mast.
I sit and watch as the sky turns from black to orange to blue then back again. It is an endless cycle, I only get out of the nest to listen in on meetings or fetch more kvas. Sometimes I guilt trip Wylan into stealing me some more. I'm sure Nina has noticed my drinking. If she hadn't she a blind fool. Being on the ocean again has taken a toll on me. My stomach no longer growls and my only want is kvas. I ignore their pleas to come down unless Kaz threatens to dump the kvas. It works every time.
"Emris, get your ass down here," Kaz yells.
"Or what?" I say, drunk as a skunk.
"Or I'll dump all your kvas."
I roll my eyes and swing down the rope. A laugh bubbles from my throat as I wobble on my feet. Kaz ignores my humor and pushes me toward the meeting table.
"I can find my way, Brekker," I say, taking a sip from the kvas bottle in my hands. Kaz takes the bottle and throws it in the ocean "Hey. Hell is that for?" My words slur together.
"You're trashed. And we're almost to fyerda." Kaz says angrily.
"I don't care. Go get me another one." I demand.
"There is no more."
"Of course, there's more. There's always more."
"No that was the last bottle."
"Well, that was my last reason." I move to slap him but he grabs my wrist and pulls me close.
"Stop this, Emris."
"It's Blade to you Brekker." I rip my hand away. "I didn't even want to be on this Saints forsaken ocean in the first place," I yell.
"Get to the meeting." I raise my eyebrows and plant my feet. "Please." He mumbles.
"Please, what?"
"Will you please attend this meeting, Emris?" Inej asks me, coming up behind Kaz.
"No, I want him to say it."
"Come on, Emris." She tries to pull me away but I hold my ground. Selfish bastard can't say it. "He's not going to say it, come on."
"Please Emris, will you attend this meeting. It is very important." I hum and take pleasure in seeing the vein in his neck stand out.
"Sure, why not? It could be fun to watch Brekker fume." I cackle a laugh as Inej leads me toward the table. "Did you see the vein in his neck stand out? Oh." I trip and burst into a fit of laughter.
"Come on, I need you sober," Inej says.
"I don't wanna be sober." I huff.
"Why not?"
"Cus I almost dies on one of these things." I burp and laugh again. "Funny story, I'll tell you another time.
Throughout the meeting, my head grows foggier. The words they talk all sound the same. Blah blah blah. When is this over? I pick at my nails. I just wanna see the stars. I look up and see the stars peeking through the clouds in the night sky.
I count how many I see and start over several times. I watch as the moon reflects off the waves. I see a shadow skim over the water and look up. I hear wings flapping behind me. I run from edge to edge of the boat, looking. I hear another pair of wings flapping. I feel a hand on my shoulder but I brush it away.
"What are you doing?" Kaz asks me.
"Looking for the bird."
"There is no bird, Emris," Inej says. I hear wings flapping behind me and I spin around.
"I just heard it," I say. "I'm not crazy. I'm not." I repeat the words, flinching when I hear the wings flapping again.
"What is she doing?" Wylan asks.
"I don't know. Can you get so drunk you see and hear things?" Inej asks Nina.
"Yes. It's called alcohol hallucinosis. She hasn't had that much though, has she?" Nina looks at Wylan.
"I only got her one bottle today." Everyone looks at Wylan and I laugh.
"She went down into the cellar twice today. So that's three bottles!" Inej exclaims. "How is she not dead?"
"Practice, darling." I smile and start another fit of hearing the bird. I cover my ears and try to hum the sound away.
"I'll get her downstairs." Nina offers. When Nina touches me I swat her hand away.
"I've dealt with her like this before. I'll handle it." Kaz offers me his hand.
"I can't touch you. It's against the rules, crow boy." I say.
"I'm giving you a free pass." I pout and grab his hand he pulls me up and drags me behind him.
"You walk funny." I point out with a grin.
"I broke my leg."
"Oh, you shouldn't be walking on it then. Since it's broken."
"No, I broke it a long time ago." I flinch, Pitter patter of rats run through the ship. "What do you hear?"
"Birds, rats, you." I look at him and grin. "You sound like 'em."
We get to my room and Kaz lays out my favorite pair of pajamas. A white silk shirt with black trim and matching shorts. Kaz turns while I change. I stumble and hit my head a few times but I can't get the last button.
"Ugh. I can't get this button."
"Are you decent?" Kaz asks.
"Duh. Took me long enough."
Kaz comes over and swats my hands away. A stray piece of hair falls into my eyes as Kaz fixes my last few shirt buttons. I tilt my head and smile.
"What are you smiling about?" Kaz asks with a grin.
"You have really pretty eyes," I say. Kaz's cheeks flush which makes me smile more.
"Go to sleep, Arcane." I bark a laugh.
"I didn't even think you knew my last name, Brekker. You always call me annoying or Blade." I smile. "Blade," I say in a deep voice. "Eat all your dinner or the Blade will get you." I laugh and Kaz grins.
Kaz pulls back the covers and waits for me to slip in before pulling the covers over my shoulders. Kaz turns to leave and fear rings in my chest. The dreams are going to be bad tonight. I know it.
"Wait." Kaz pauses with his hand on the door. "Will you stay, here, with me? Please."
Kaz seems to consider before returning to my side. He sits at the end of the bed and I smile. I feel the craving for his warmth as I shiver. I know he won't do it but I might as well ask anyway. What could it hurt?
"Will you lay down or something rather than sit there like a creep." He glares at me before removing his coat and laying his head on the pillow beside me.
"You know these beds are hardly comfortable," Kaz says.
"Why do you think I prefer the crow's nest?"
"I can see why now."
Kaz's warmth hardly reaches me through the covers but it is enough. His weight tilts the bed and I fight to stay at the wall. Kaz and I simply stare at one another and I realize he is strikingly handsome. His features are sharp as a blade and yet soft and inviting. My eyes trail over every feature, committing them to memory. His thin lips, sharp bones, prominent nose, large freckles that occasionally dot his skin, soft eyes, the wrinkle between his full dark brows. His eyes find mine and I notice his brown eyes have a tinge of green to them.
My eyes begin to flutter shut and I almost think is another hallucination as Kaz tucks a stray piece of hair behind my ear. With Kaz at my side, I finally get a good night's sleep.
Word Count: 1482