POV: Wilhelm:
I gave him a look when I was standing on the grass in the backyard. The courtyard lights lit up my face a little, and the dark face of Simon staring at me in astonishment through the window, he hung up the phone with a smile and went down with a thrill. I felt chills all over me when I waited for him by myself.
Now he's coming out the doorway with a wide purple T-shirt on. I'm standing there, not moving at all. Just looking at him approaching me. He took slow steps as we could feel the tension between us at that moment.
I smiled a smile that came out of nowhere, "What?!" He asked with excitement, we were close. "I didn't say anything..." My cheeks burned and felt like I couldn't get the words out of my mouth.
"So... Here I am." He scratched his back. "Yeah, here you are. Here WE are. We did it." He bites his lips. "Totally..." It was just incredible standing there with him with no one around. Just me, him, and the moon looking down at us from above in the black sky. "About what happened at the party- We need to talk about this," Oh, here we go again.
My foot was playing on the grass, moving side to side, looking down, and my hands in the pockets of my jacket. "Simon, everything's all right, if you're uncomfortable, I'm fine with it..." I tried to calm him down.
"By the way, I see you've come into the right room, the truth is, this is my room every time my family decides to come here for the summer. I would sit there on the chair, looking out the window and watching this courtyard and the silent sky, this is one of my ways to unpack nerves. To look at something and hope things would work out... Anyway, I wanted you to have it this time..." My heart really is a moment before an explosion.
"Wilhelm... I can't explain to you how I feel right now, really, words can't describe how grateful I am to you." He stopped. I got even closer to him. "You don't have to explain anything in words..." My face approached his, my bile finger touched his chin and my head got closer and closer.
"What are you doing, you crazy? They can watch us..." He said, smiling like a little kid, and move my body gently away from him. I saw he wanted it. I felt it. So, I kept silent for seconds because I just like to look at him. He's quite right though, we could actually be caught at any moment because the servants are wandering around at night sometimes to check the sprinkler situation, but this time, just nothing interested me, even if it means they'll see us making out.
"Let them..." I whispered as I kissed his lips gently and pulled his wide shirt to my body. Our curious lips collided and moved with each other and so did our heads. Simon's hands fell on my shoulders while his fingers were wrapped and stroked my back.
He started kissing me harder, deeper. And here comes the tongue, the heavy breathing, the passion, the familiar emotion. And that's where I knew that he and I were destiny. He's the one for me, no matter what everyone says. For a moment, we lost track of time and slowly let him go.
"Let's go somewhere more, Private... What do you say, we go up to OUR room?" He said and smile while the warm air and the strong gasps gave me a wonderful feeling. The butterflies just couldn't stop flying inside my body.
He's holding my hands and leading me towards the castle, and I'm being dragged behind him. As he opened the door, we noticed a security guard guarding the area against the corner of our eyes. Simon grinned and turned back at me with excitement. "Shuh... What are you doing? We'll be heard!" I covered his mouth with my hand.
"A moment ago, you weren't disturbed if we were caught, what happened to 'let them?'" He said and looked at me with a cocky face and a solvent smile. "I hate you," I said with a laugh, and then punched him in the chest. "I love you too." He touched my face and kissed my lips.
Our gasps were too heavy so apparently, the security guard that we were just looking at, may notice our sounds and approached us. We climbed the long stairs fast Simon's hand still holding mine, we both run across to our room, open the door, come in and lock it behind us.
Simon leaned on the door, gasping and slowly descending along the door to settle on the floor. I just ran over to my bed and lay on it. My tired body spread over the soft sheets and wanted to stay there for a few more minutes. My hair fell on my face, so I shook my head and looked in Simon's direction, and tried to take a breath. "Wow, that was close!" It was.
"Yes, I - do you think he heard us?" He asked worriedly and got up from the floor. "I do not know, just hope he did not ..." He got up to the bed and unfolded on the other side, turning my head in his direction. Our heads are in the corner of the bed and our feet land on the pillows. We both are looking at each other with curious and happy eyes.
My hand moved towards his hair slowly and played with its fallen curls. He smiled and suddenly straight up his arms and ran his fingers behind my ear. We're too close now. The tip of our noses touched each other; we both hoped the night would never end.
My other hand that did not play with his hair, was used as a headrest. Simon made himself closer and closer to me until his heavy breaths warmed my face. My eyes are still closed. The other hand folded and was trapped between me and him. I wish we'll stay here together on this bed all night long.
I closed my eyes again and hoped it wasn't a dream. Suddenly I felt his lips on mine. He kissed me gently and then climbed over my body. My eyes opened slowly and no; it was not a dream. I mean, it is, but it's actually real.
"You sure it's a good idea to do this HERE?" I whispered. My fingers stroked his face. "Well, we've done it in worse places..." He laughed. "Relax, everyone's sleeping..." He kept saying as I stripped off his wide shirt. "Yeah, except for Boris the security guard..." We laughed.
Now he got down on me and stripped off my clothes. This soft touch on my body gave me chills, the chills that made my whole body, shake. "If you want me to stop, tell me now," he whispered. He knows I don't want him to stop. He knows I want him for the rest of my life.
When I didn't say anything yet, he brushed his mouth on my chest. "Or now..." Going up along my body, kissing my neck softly. "Or now..." His lips almost touched mine. "Or-", suddenly his lips crashed on my lips with great passion. I felt my body give up and let him do whatever he just wanted with it. I pulled him over, this time I'm over him. Simon sighed on the sheets.
Now he moaned, but I couldn't let him let us get caught again because he was too loud. "Keep your voice down, you don't want Sarah to get up here and see us like that, do you?" I whispered with a smile. "Relax, she still thinks we're together even though Luca and I, but don't worry, you're mine tonight..." He got me closer to the kiss again.
He came under my skin. I also moaned loudly; I couldn't control it. I breathed hard, moaned again. A few minutes later, I went down and licked it. It felt like the best thing in the world. We got dirty from our own love. "Now it's your turn." He came down on me, too. I'm pleased.
When we were done cleaning ourselves up with the towel he had inside the closet, we went under the sheets. "You make me happy Wille, you know that...?" He said with a stupid smile that melted my heart. "You're the best thing that's ever happened to me Money." "Money...? Did you just give me a new nickname?! And literally money?" He laughed. What are you looking at me like that? I know, that's the weirdest nickname ever, but fuck it. I'm sure someone else would call him by a different normal name but last year he told me his whole family was calling him Simi so I just wanted a unique name for him. We kissed and fell asleep.
I woke up the next morning. The room was lit with the golden sun, the sky was clear, we were both still in the sheets without clothes. Look at his face. He's so sweet when he sleeps. "Good morning, Money. It's time to get up..." I kissed him on the lips and woke him up. "Ew, you've got morning breath! Move!" His hand lifted and tried to push me back.
"You like my morning breathes whether it's night or morning, stop denying! And I'd brush my teeth if I could," I got out of bed and started getting dressed while I moved toward the window.
"What are you doing? Where are you going...?" Simon leaned on his arms and tried to open his eyes wild open because he was blinded by the sun. "Well, I got to go some time, don't I? Your mother and sister are still at home, I'd rather not stay here too long," I said and opened the window.
"No.... Don't goo!," He begged. But I told him I loved him and then went out the window. Today is a good day. Nothing can ruin it for me. I was thinking. BOOM, a call from Mom.
"Hey, Wilhelm, I heard today there is no school because yesterday you were celebrating so I had Leon drop you off back at the castle, he's headed to the bedrooms now." Oh, fuck my life. What do I tell her? That I'm not even close to there?! That I'm at Simon's?!
"When did he leave?" I asked. "He just told me he's there in 15 minutes." I cut the call and ran into boarding school as fast as I could. I arrived. Everyone was in their private homes so there was nobody there. I went into my droom and packed myself a bag. I got into Leon's car and we drove to my house, to the palace.
I was angry at my mom who wasn't there for me when I needed her when all the photographers fell on me and Simon when Luca took the allergic reaction, but he told me what her reaction was for the news yesterday before we fell asleep. It pinched my heart. How could she say such a thing?! I'll be in love with whoever I just want, thanks for the concern, but no thank you! I've got my own mouth. I don't need others doing this for me!
When I came in, I didn't even talk to her at all. Just ate breakfast in anger without taking words out of my mouth. "We slept together," I said suddenly. Her face was shocked as if she saw a ghost.
"Me and Simon. We're together, mom, stop fucking trying to keep us apart all the time!" I stopped myself from eating, pushed the chair back, and got up suddenly. "And just for the record, no woman or man will bring me the happiness that THIS man can give me! Something you can't give me, by the way! Why is it so hard for you to accept who I am?!" My voice echoed the whole house. The assistants, the servants, and the crew of the palace looked at me amazingly and silently. I ran into the room and shut myself down.
Why? Why? Why don't I have a normal life like everybody else?! Do you think it was easy asking Simon to be my secret? Do you think I want this?! That's just how it's supposed to be. I commit. The people trust me. And besides, I'm not ready for them to know I'm into guys. Not ready to come out yet. The only closet I came out of was when Luca almost caught us doing it and, yes, everyone is still trying to figure out if it was me in the video, but only my mother and the kids from school know the truth because when we had sex, my room appears throughout the video, it's lost.
"So, I guess you saw my reaction to the newspaper." My mom told me when we were in the backyard. I just got out of the pool, sat on one of the tanning beds, and put the black sunglasses on. "So, I guess you saw my reaction on TV with Simon." All I wanted was her not in the cadavers of my eye. "Move, you're hiding my sun." I continued.
"Wilhelm, I understand you have feelings for a man, but you can't stop our bloodline... You're going to be a great dad, with a great wife and kids running between your legs...Don't you want a normal life?!" I got up from the tan bed in shock, but the sunglasses hid the anger I was in.
"What's even normal life, mom?! That's normal for you, maybe! Do you think I chose this?! Normal for me is to live alongside someone I love! Not with someone who they make me love!" I took my sunglasses off my widespread, red eyes, my face was furious and tears rolled out my eyes.
"I'm sorry, our bloodline has to go on, one of your children is going to be the next heir of Sweden, there's nothing I can do about it..." She caressed my leg. "Yes, you have! You can cheer me up and let me be happy with Simon!" I wiped the tears with my elbows. "And don't touch me!" I continued. "There's not a day you've been there for me at all! If one of my kids is going to be the heir to the throne, I'll make sure he never gets treated like you treat me! I'm your son, mom, look at me! I'm right here, I'm normal! Don't let me like I'm not, or feel that suffering again!" Tears kept coming with no control, anger, sadness, depression.
"You're too young to know about love, son, it's just the rebellion of your youth that goes wild and seeks unusual adventures." I got up, but I held back. I didn't want to show her that I was weaker than her.
"I love him. More than that, I'm IN LOVE with him. Please accept that..." I relaxed a little. I panicked and felt like I didn't have any air left. "Do you feel that he makes you happy at least?" She asked. The tension just calmed down. Once again, tears erupted from my eyes, my face turned very red, I felt exposed, vulnerable, and fragile. My mother's arms wrapped me in a warm embrace. "Very..." I tried to say through crying. "Very..."
Here I am, the rebellious prince, who loves a guy, breaks conventions, and manages to convince his mother that there are worse things than a man who loves a man.
But it's not over yet. And certainly not like that.
.
POV: SIMON
In the morning, after Wilhelm left through the window, Sarah and I headed to the dining room. "Good morning, children!" Mom smiled at us, while Emma proceeded to the table with plates with omelets on them, salads and cheeses, and comes to hand them over from the kitchen. "Good morning," I replied, but I couldn't hide the smile that was smeared on my face from yesterday night. Sarah stared at me.
"Let me help you with that," I got up from my place, and tried to take the plates from my Emma so that she didn't work too hard, or, I was just being energetic from yesterday still.
"No, please, it's my job to serve you, please sit down." Said Emma, who was our assistant, took away our plates and put us in our place. We have to get used to this situation that they are doing everything for us from now on.
We started eating. The silent silence spread for some reason until Sarah broke the ice. "So, Simi, have you had your first night here? How was it?" She suddenly asked me with her mouth full and curious. No, there's nothing you need to know about, certainly not you. Why am I always the one who got stuck in awkward situations like these?!
I choked, coughed up, and stumbled. "I- There's nothing special, just a routine night..." You're too obvious, Simon. Stop smiling! I tried to convince myself that nothing special happened last night, but it was stronger than me, that stupid smile doesn't come off my face.
"I'm glad to hear that Simi. Were the sheets comfortable at least? No complaints?" Mom asked. Oh, the sheets.
Well, I don't know, maybe considering I've been up on them all night long, totally hovering and dirty it with Wilhelm, who in case I'm not going to talk to you about him right now, but besides, totally comfortable. Stop talking to yourself, you're going to get us exposed! The annoying voices in my mind started talking to me. "Yeah, very convenient even," I said, there's another bite out of the omelet. "I can imagine." Sarah's rolling her eyes and back to her business.
"I slept like a bear, finally a night when I really get to sleep in it right." Mom said but Sarah kept silent and kept eating. Someone's quiet this morning. "How about you, Sarah? Getting used to the whole fancy house thing?" I smiled at her. "Yeah, you? It's kind of hard to live like a PRINCESS and, you know, a PRINCE, but other than that, I'm really great here, by the way, thank WILHELM for letting us stay here." My mother agreed. I kept silent. "Why don't you tell him that yourself?" I asked, but she laughed instead. "Why are you laughing at me?" I asked. "No, it's nothing."
Emma's in the meantime pouring us all some glasses of water while my mother's cell phone rings from the top floor. "Oh, that's probably Mrs. Walker about the job! Simi, do me a favor, baby. If there's a ring on the door, you'll get open it." "Yeah, sure," Me and Sarah just stayed at the table. Silence, again. Only the noises of the fork squeaking on our plates. Biting another bite, until she surrendered. "I saw you both yesterday." Oh, shit.
"Who?! What are you talking about, Sarah?!" Dry throat, takes the newly placed glass of water on the table, sipping from it and lots of it. "Yeah, yeah, drink, after a night like yesterday I kind of get why you're so thirsty. Be careful not to choke." I was strangled. Some water got into my nose. I coughed hard.
Emma approached me and tapped on my back. "Is everything okay?" I raised my hand a little and tried to hint to her that everything was fine, but no, it was all so wrong now! Through this whole meal, Sarah looked a little suspicious to me. Please don't tell me she knows.
"Well, what's the deal, Sarah?!" I asked nervously. "Who and where?" I asked hopefully she's not going to talk about what I think she's going to talk about. "Wilhelm, the great prince, the love of your life, the prince on the white horse, the rebellious Swedes, this Wilhelm. Wille."
Emma was hearing it and didn't understand how I'm relating to the prince. She's used to having Wilhelm come here every summer with his family, but she didn't think his name would be mentioned at the dinner table today. No one thought.
I got up out of the chair fast, my eyes scanned Sarah's, she got up from her chair as well and I pursued her to the entrance of the house. "Come here now, Sarah!" My voice echoed the whole house. "Why?! What are you going to do about it? Snitch on me to your lovely prince Wilhelm?!" She continued. "Oh, no, please, Prince, I didn't mean to look at you two making out in the backyard through the window yesterday! Of course, not to hear you moaning all night long!" She shouted with a smile, I caught her and kept her mouth shut.
My heart started to beat stronger, I felt a lot of pressure, I panicked, and I was in shock. I knew Sarah was hiding something from me, but I kind of brought it on myself, I had to be careful with the words I said yesterday, Wilhelm was really warning me about Sarah. I need to listen to him more. "DO NOT. SAY. A WORD!" I said nervously and my eyes turned red, second from falling apart, and shed a tear.
Ring on the door. This is Mrs. Walker. Sarah and I stand there staring at each other in nervousness, awkward situation. "Good morning, honey. Where's your mother?" She looked at me and stopped. "You. Do I know you...? Isn't you the prince's lover?!" She invited herself in.
"What's the matter? Can we please not talk about this? Mom's on her way here, you don't have to worry, and-" Sarah tried to pass the subject, but mom came in. "Hey, here I am! Let's talk outside, shall we?" Mom's pressure looks all over her face. "I'll be right back. In the meantime, help Emma clean the table, please."
We walked to the dining room in silence. My hands are now behind my back and my head won't stop thinking, fearing, debating. Shut up, talk? I couldn't even look at Sarah after the fact that she heard us all night. That's all I needed, for my sister to know that I'm cheating on my boyfriend with someone else. And with Wilhelm. Again.
"So, you're Simon, I heard about you," Emma said when we came back and picked things up from the table. "Yes? What did you hear about me?" I asked curiously. Still, Sarah just shouted that Wilhelm was here yesterday and that we kissed and were having sex or whatever, the embarrassment.
"Just good things, Wilhelm was here two days ago, telling me that a special guest was going to live here for a few months and I'd put the envelope in his bedroom. He looked very happy when he asked me to do that." I felt really good right now. "Which reminds me, I don't need your help, I'm the maid here, and you're my boss." She took away the plate I had in my hand, but I kept helping. "Not on my terms."
Sarah and I put on our swimsuits and went into the giant pool. She tried to lift the morale, but I couldn't. I had to explain myself. "Wilhelm... He's - I've never felt so alive when I'm with him, it's a feeling that... I can't explain." I tried to talk, but I went into a panic attack. I just felt like a crazy shake and chest pain. Why is it so hard?! She already knew about us a year ago. She's supporting us. My mother's the same. It's probably because of Luca, it's different when there's a boyfriend you cheat on without thinking twice. "I think he's the one for me, okay? Please don't yell at me." I kept talking.
"Simon... You know I'm fucking ok with this! Funny you, I love you guys, and you guys are really cute together! Do you think I wouldn't support my brother?! And with his prince?! Retarded!" She punched me with a smile.
I splashed a water rise and smiled, but the smile fell. "It's not that. Luca... I don't know what to do..." But what happened? Last night I didn't mind cheating on him at all. "So, you and Wille are a secret again? Nobody knows yet?" I kept silent. She got the hint. "Wow, Simi, you're making me find out some new sides I didn't know about you every day that passes, I think it's best if you break up with Luca though." It's going to be embarrassing. But before I go do anything, I need to call Wilhelm.
I took the towel and came out wet from the pool. I walked towards the house and I was going up the stairs. "No! Simon, look what you did! Now all the floors are footmarks, I just cleaned it!" Emma raised her voice in despair. "Oh, I'm so sorry, Emma, but it's urgent! Sorry!" I said when I went up the stairs as my feet still left a mark everywhere.
I was sitting on the bed with legs and a tight back, and my hair was dripping and wet all the sheets. I called Wilhelm on FaceTime. He answered the call. "She knows!" We both said at the same time in panic.
"What?! Wait, who knows?! What knows?!" Again, we said the same thing at the same time. We freaked out. "You first," I said. "You're the one who called, you first." He said. I gave up. "Sarah, Sarah knows. Turns out, she took a peek at us out the window and she saw us kissing, and not only that, add the fact that she heard us having sex." Wilhelm didn't know how to respond to it.
"M- Money, I told you we were too loud!" He looked confused, sticking his fingers into his hair in fear and gnawing his thumb. "Wait, and she's okay with that?!" Ask. I kept silent. Not because I didn't want to say the answer, but because I didn't know how to deal with the situation. "Yeah, she's fine with it, don't worry," I said and I nodded my head affirmatively. I was thinking. I thought about who the hell Wilhelm meant when he said, 'She knows.'
"My mother. I told her that we had sex, I told her that we are together, and I told her that I'm in love with you, she kind of tried to get it surprisingly, but I'm not sure if she really means it... "I didn't know how to respond to it. At all.
"What?" He asked. "Well, let me just take a second to process the fact that the fucking queen knows about us, even my mother doesn't know what's going on between us in the last period. I wanted to tell her today, but of course, I need a little more time to consider the fact that we're not officially dating until I leave Luca. That's why I called, by the way. I don't know how to do this." Tension, tension, tension.
"You don't have to break up with him. If you feel like it's not the time, I don't want you to do something you're not whole about, I don't want to be the one who's ruining your relationship..." I've twisted my eyebrows. "What are you talking about, anyway? You're really not ruining any relationships for me. It was MY choice to kiss you, touch you... Sleeping with you... It's really my decision with who to be with. Don't put this on yourself."
"So, what do you decide now?" He wondered. "Well... I kind of enjoyed being your secret... I guess I'll stay with Luca for now, until I feel ready to stop it. But don't worry, I'm not going to give up on us that easily." I didn't know if I meant her or it was just to please both of us. Because Luca is a really good person, Should I ruin it?
"Wait, so you're really going to do this for me?!" He was excited like a baby. "No, I'm doing this for us." I smiled at him. Love went through the screen, "I love you," I told him. "I know, now go, this conversation is too sneezing." I smiled and rolled my eyes. I shut up and opened my mouth in astonishment. "Well, I love you too, you know that you pain in the ass! Bye!" He hangs up the call. I lay on the blanket, looking towards the side where Wilhelm lay next to me yesterday, staring at his pillow and smiling to myself.
Sarah came into the room a few minutes after the call. "Felice and I are now set to go bowling along with Lynn and Luca. August's coming with us too, he's bringing Alex with him. I don't know exactly what I think about it. Want to come with us? Your boyfriend will be there, too..." She raised her eyebrows and smiled an arrogant smile. "But... Luca is my boyfriend." I said one blow. "Your secret boyfriend..." She continued.
I smiled and threw the wet towel over her. "Oh, you disgusting! Emma, Simon's bothering me!" She shouted and giggled. "Simon! Please leave her alone!" Emma's voice echoed in the big house. "Sorry, Emma, Sarah's just an annoying little sister, but poor thing, she can't help it." I got up, out of the room, grabbed the railing, and watched Emma clean the house from downstairs. "Simon... Go take a shower already." She answered me desperately. Are you sure, or is it because you heard that Wilhelm's going to be at bowling tonight too?
I took a quick shower, spent two hours in front of the big closet, and measured in front of the mirror next to the bed which clothes I should put on. I finally chose to put on a white striped shirt, jeans coming down to my knees, and new sneakers.
It's time to get out. We went out of the house. Mom's still at work. The bus dropped us off at the bowling station and waited for everyone to come. I said hello to everybody except Wilhelm and August. I couldn't tell Wilhelm hello because it could seem too embarrassing, I know us, and we'd laugh out of control hours, and then everyone would guess for themselves. From the corner of my eye, Sarah is looking at us both, feeling like the queen of the world.
It was really fun to hang out with them. We were a group, not small and not big, average, that consists of children who are not related in any way. Although it was pretty cool because we had a really good time together. I never thought I'd have fun where August and I are together under the same roof. But surprisingly, there were no problems.
One route was only allowed to participate up to four people. I, Sarah Luca, and Felice were on route number three. Lynn, Wilhelm, August, and Alex were on the route next to us, route number four. But I suddenly moved my head to their path. And that's when it went through slow motion. Like time has stopped for a few minutes.
It pinches me in the heart to see Wilhelm laughing and enjoying with Lynn. They looked so happy together. The way he helped her throw the ball in the Finns, the way she gives him back a long, long, smirk look, I felt bad about it. Am I jealous? Not at all. Well, maybe just a little?
Luca is behind me, kissing my neck. I faked him a little smile and went back to staring at them. Holding the ball in my hand and doing nothing. I need water, I don't feel well.
suddenly, Wilhelm looked at me with Luca, I didn't see him smiling. We froze for long few seconds when our eyes were locked. Suddenly he smiled at me, a sad smile, and I gave him that look back, and thought, - Is Wilhelm really in love with me, or is he just in love with the idea of being with me?