I have loved you, my future. You are my tomorrow, my every day.
The message on her phone blinked during study hall. She hid it covertly in her notebook with the sound on mosquito so her teacher wouldn't hear.
It was funny too, because this particular teacher tried to connect with the students, acting younger than his actual age of 40. They tested it once too, and he never heard it. Zara kind of felt bad for how her classmates would laugh behind his back. He really was a cool teacher.
She barely lifted the pages of the notebook, tapping the screen. It revealed one new message from none other than Liam.
"Can we try talking again."
She tapped her pencil furiously against the desk, looking up to see if Mr. Harris noticed. He didn't. She grabbed her phone and hid it under the desk while she rapidly typed her response.
"This is getting us no where. We are at am impasse."
"..."
Not this again. She watched as the ellipsis disappeared.
"I have a solution to our problem."
She looked around the room again. She was pretty sure Mr. Harris was playing solitaire on his laptop, or writing some breakout novel that gets him out of this excuse for a school. No one was paying attention to her. Everyone was split into friend groups; all were covertly texting back and forth like she was with Liam.
"Fine. Where are you?"
She didn't have to wait long for his next text.
"Chemistry."
She couldn't play his waiting game any longer. It was infuriating to wait for the text that would never come. Her Biology book, Concepts of Biology, was mocking her. She knew sheneeded to study for her quiz, which was right after after lunch. She flipped through the pages, practically ripping the rarely opened book.
She found the section she needed, Chapter 3, "Cell Structure and Function." She tried to read the chapter, which admittedly she should have already read. She thought a lot of things. She thought she had study hall. She thought this thing with Liam was in the past. She thought...
She couldn't focus on the words in front of her. The only text that stood out was, "Close your eyes and picture a brick wall." She felt stupid, but she did it. When she closed her eyes she didn't see a brick wall. She saw her hands against Liams abs, his hard, six pack abs that might as well be a brick wall.
The guy must be on synthetics, or something. She tried to shake the image from her mind. She focused again. Wall, abs. Abs, wall. Liam.
"Damn him." She slammed her book shut. A few of her classmates looked over at her, but instead of feeling embarrassed she through her book into her backpack and walked over to Mr. Harris' desk.
He straightened up, closing his laptop. She was right, solitaire, or novel. She would have to find out later which it was.
"How can I help you Ms. Reed?" He was eager. His face had the look of an eager Lab ready for the next command, or in her experience, car ride.
"Can I go to the nurses office? I'm having cramps."
Sputtering, "Yeah, sure. Of course."
Mr. Harris was funny. He wore a blazer, but to seem relevant, or retro, she wasn't sure, sure wore a Janes's Addiction band shirt. No one would think he got it on re-sale. She was sure he went to the concert back in the day.
She smiled benignly, and took the pass he offered her, and went, but not to the nurses office. She found the chem lab. She wasn't even sure which one was Liam's class. She felt empowered to be the one seeking him out, and not the other way around.
"What are you doing here?"
Her phone flew out of her hand, tumbling to the floor. She scrambled forward to pick it up. "Crap."
"I was just..."
"Don't you have study hall right now?" Maria placed her hand on her hip, raising it slightly, sternly. She had a habit of mothering her ever since they were little. Her own mother wasn't this protective, but then again she did have Maria.
"Cramps."
"What does that have anything to do with it? You carry aspirin." Maria started digging in her purse. "Here." She pulled out a small white bottle.
"Thanks." She took it, feeling completely lame.
"You really should be better at planning for stuff like this. When I'm off to college you're going to be on your own."
This wasn't the time, or place to be getting into this, but Zara was incensed. Now, more than anything she didn't want to be treated like a child. She countered her sister by matching her earlier stance and putting her hand on her hip. "I'm not a child. I'm only one year younger than you."
"Is that so, mija?" Her hand was back on her hip. They were facing off against each other.
The bell in the hall rang. Round one. The first person out of the door to their left was Liam. The second, Nathaniel. It was the worst day ever. She wanted to throw-up.
"There you are." Liam looked between them. He looked like he caught a mouse, wearing a Cheshire smile. Nathanial looked nonplussed.
"Hi Maria. And...and..."
"Zara." When Liam answered Nathaniel he gave her a pointed look. It spoke volumes.
"Hi Zara. Good to see you again."
She could barely speak. She felt something stupid bubbling up from within, and she blurted. " I ran into you." She watched the dual looks in Liam and Maria's faces, utter shock, mouths open. "I hit you last year on your motorcycle. I didn't mean to, I didn't see you. I'm so sorry."
He looked at her like she was speaking another language, the color of her words, and the shades of her meaning flitting across his face. "I'm sorry. What? You hit me."
She could feel her pulse banging under her rib cage, like a frightened bird fighting to take flight. "I, uh, um, it was an accident. I didn't see you." She couldn't take the look on his face, the confusion and anger.
She took off running down the hall. Maria put her hand out to stop her, but she was just as stunned about her admission. She didn't stop. She went through the doors out the end of the hall. The air was crisp.
She looked to the right, and to the left, but there was no place for her to go. Maria drove and had the keys with her. On the right was a field of grass, on the left was the baseball pitch. She chose the dugouts of the baseball pitch, which would provide with a small reprieve from onlookers.
She sat in the furthest corner and tucked her knees to her chest. She rocked herself. Why would she blurt it out. She couldn't fathom what came over her in that moment. Whatever romantic notions she had, she was certain he had none.
"Hey."
Liam slid onto the bench next to her, and his warmth was welcomed from the brisk cool afternoon.
"What are you doing here?"
"I followed you. You're not very observant."
That hit hard. "It was an accident."
His arm wrapped around her shoulders in to what might be a buddy hug, with a little shake. "Hey, don't be down on yourself. It was an accident. You didn't see him. Maybe he just tipped his bike. You don't know."
She shrugged away from him. "We do know. The one silver lining is you no longer will hold this over my head. You are on your own with Maria."
"Yeah..." She looked closely at him, the five o'clock shadow. So much a man, not a boy. He was looking off into the distance, but then he turned to her and smiled. It was a shy smile that softened his features, like a lazy sun blinking through clouds. Her heart beat a little faster.
"Don't worry about Nathaniel. It was just a shock. I'll work on him for you."
She sighed. The knot in her chest didn't loosen, if anything, it was worse. "So, I will owe you. What did you want to talk about anyway? It's a moot point now, but I'm curious."
He swallowed, paused a little longer than made her comfortable before standing up. "Like you said, a moot point." He held out his hand, which she took. They walked back to school together, both in their own thoughts.