LOVE WON'T LET ME LEAVE
seafret
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↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺
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After twenty minutes or so of driving together, the quartet had finally pulled into the parking lot of 'Rebel Rink'.
Azriel and Warren climbed down the jeep first, helping the girls down too despite their claims of how they were perfectly capable of doing so themselves, accepting the boys' help nonetheless.
Upon walking through the doors, they were greeted by a fairly crowded room, for there were groups of people who had either gotten done with skating or were waiting on more friends to start with. The quartet headed over to the front desk across the room and paid for themselves after waiting in line for only a few minutes - a huge relief.
Warren threw the double doors open, letting the girls in and following after them with Azriel.
It surely was a whole new world in here.
It felt like they'd suddenly entered the coldest place there was, the freezing air hit them like a bullet train. It was hard to tell what was louder, the ace choice of music or the crowd that was having the time of their lives, holding hands and skating around on the ice, some stumbling and the others gracing.
It was lively, everything about it felt like a place Nyx had never had a way to go to.
Now that she was here, with people that made her feel like she belonged somewhere, she didn't want to leave.
Aurora linked her arm with Nyx's to pull her close, an attempt to share the warmth from her baggy sweater with her new friend.
Nyx definitely ended up feeling a whole lot warmer from the gesture.
On noticing the pair of girls together and how they getting along well already, Azriel looked away to hide his smile.
The small group of four headed over to the desk where they'd be getting their skates. Even though they turned down the jackets that were offered, not wanting to wear countless people's stenches, they ended up not refusing the gloves.
After changing out of their shoes and into the skates, the quartet held on to each other - an arrangement that Azriel didn't quite understand - and headed over to the rink.
"You know," he said. "If one of us falls, and I just know that it'll be Nyx, the rest go down as well for no reason. So, can we please get our hands off each other?"
Nobody paid attention to him.
While Aurora and Warren ignored his grumpiness on purpose, Nyx was clutching onto the boy's arm because what he said was true - even if she hadn't heard a single word of what it, too busy focusing on not falling because of the bladed skates.
Once they were close enough to the rink, the boys got on first and helped the girls on too.
Aurora and Warren were amazing at keeping their body balance in control on the challenging ice, skating around fluently with occasional laughs and playful remarks.
Nyx stared at them with her lips parted, knowing that there was no way she could hold herself up like them.
"You're going to pluck my arm off with a grip that tight," Azriel brought her out of her momentary daze.
Nyx looked down at her arm that was still linked with the boy's, realizing that she hadn't let it go. She let go quickly, unsure if he minded it or not, and took a step back.
She forgot for that short second that they were on the ice, so when she moved away at a speed as fast as that, her feet were bound to skid against the slippery surface of the frozen water - and they did, earning a yelp from her.
The very next moment that she'd withdrawn from him, Azriel had reached his gloved hand out to stop her from tripping and pulled her back into him.
"Have you skated before?" he asked her.
"A long, long time ago," she breathed out.
It had been a long time ago, she hardly had any memory of it.
"Do you need help?" Although he was genuinely offering a hand, it was all but innocent and everything teasing.
Not wanting to satisfy his amusement, Nyx declined with a murmur, "No,"
Without another word, Azriel moved away from Nyx and skated around her in a circle before appearing right in front of her with a taunting grin on his face. His fluent movements showed everybody who the better skater between the pair was.
Letting out a huff and holding back a pout, Nyx stared down at her feet.
"I just need to get to the rails for support, I'll be fine from there. Yep, totally got this," she looked and sounded like she was trying to convince herself and not the boy who was enjoying every second of their playful moment.
Nyx was very obviously fumbling on her skates, trying her hardest not to look like a complete fool by flailing her arms around in the air aimlessly.
"Whatever you say." Azriel shrugged.
He wore an expression that reflected how terribly she was lying to herself if she thought even for a second that she wouldn't tumble at least once. He then began skating around her, all while the girl struggled to do the same.
Nyx's walk was funny considering how she was stumbling and flailing in all directions.
Her legs felt like jello on the ice, and she crossed her fingers in hope of her feet not giving out and embarrassing her - especially to wipe that grin off Azriel's lips.
Azriel, though, was just waiting for her to fall. It was so comical to him.
She had almost made it to the rail, her hand was reached out to grab hold of it, fingers itching for support, a victorious grin on her lips.
Right then, her skates betrayed her.
With yet another yelp, the girl collided with the cold, hard ice. It didn't hurt, fortunately, since she'd fallen on her bottom and not on her face.
"Wow," a voice remarked from above her. "That was some terrible grace, Nyx,"
Letting out a huff, Nyx defended, "It's part of the process."
She moved to get on her knees and hands, successfully doing so. The real trouble was to stand up without her skates giving out under her yet again. Squeezing her eyes shut, she talked herself into getting it done already.
As quickly as she attempted to move up, her skates skidded against the ice for the second time in a row, ready to bring her down.
Before she could face plant on it, though, a hand shot out to grab her, steadying her.
Azriel pulled Nyx back up and moved his hands to grip her elbows, allowing her to latch onto his upper arms for support. They were standing so close to each other, it was a surprise how their bodies weren't touching. It was enough for them to breathe in each other's fruity scents.
"Admit it, Nyx," Azriel smirked.
Kicking lightly at the ice once, Nyx grumbled in confession, "I do not know how to skate."
Without replying to her, the raven head moved his hands from her elbows down to encase her palms in his. He began skating backward, pulling Nyx along with him at a slow pace. Her head snapped up to look at the boy and she realized that the ice was the way it had always been and that they were the ones that were moving.
"What are you doing?" Nyx asked him.
Her eyes wandered around, flinching every time they crossed someone thinking they'd crash into them.
"I'm teaching you how to skate," Azriel answered simply.
"Nyx," he gently called out after a moment. "Look at me,"
The nyctophile did as she was told.
Her gaze met the raven monster's while he kept them both steady. His eyes, the assurance on his face was enough to comfort her. She gulped and let him lead.
Warren and Aurora appeared on either side of the pair, grinning at them and skating at their speed.
"Come on, Nyx! You're doing it!" Aurora encouraged with a clap of her hands, holding up her thumbs.
In contrast, Warren sent a wink his best friend's way, making him look away in a heartbeat.
Azriel picked up their pace, skating faster than earlier right before they were to take a turn.
"We'll fall!" Nyx exclaimed. "I won't let us," Azriel promised.
His hands tightened around hers, silently asking for her to trust him.
She did trust him, she knew she could, but she was also well aware of how it wouldn't be long before she'd end up with her butt on the ice, probably breaking her tail bone or something from being such an unbalanced person.
Lucky for her, none of this happened.
After letting the boy lead her around the rink for a few more minutes, she had gotten the hang of the basics of skating - which was to move forward without falling.
"Hey, Nyx?" Azriel called out again. "I'm going to let you go now,"
Nyx's eyes widened, "No! Do no-"
Before she could finish protesting, he had already loosened his grasp on her hands and skated a few steps away from her, letting her move ahead without anyone to hold on to now.
She waited for her fall to come, bracing her bottom for another painful collision with the ice, but it didn't happen.
She was perfectly stable on her feet, the blades of her skates were dancing on the surface instead of slipping on it, her arms weren't waving around - she was doing just fine.
A while later of doing well on the ice, Nyx looked up at Azriel with a toothy smile, locking gazes with him. He had the smallest, almost unnoticeable smile on his lips too as he watched her with his arms lazily crossed.
But then, his eyes widened in alarm.
Behind her, Nyx could hear Warren and Aurora calling out her name to get her attention.
Before she could turn around, though, a body as heavy as hers rammed right into her own. The crash sent both of them tumbling down. They'd fallen sideways, which was fortunate since she didn't have to take the weight of their fall alone. She opened her curtained eyes, feeling a dull ache on the side she'd landed on.
Laying next to her was Aurora, having crashed into the cinnamon head not even ten seconds earlier.
Their limbs were tangled together because of their collision. The pair blinked at each other a few times like clueless ducks before their lips stretched into goofy grins, teeth showing and eyes crinkling at the corners. Their chuckles turned into full-blown laughter while they just lay there on the ice, minds too distracted to recognize how cold they were getting with every moment they spent like that.
Warren and Azriel rushed over to the girls.
They were both worried that they'd hurt themselves, even if it was in the smallest way possible, because of painful their stumble looked.
However, when the boys reached the pair and saw them laughing it off, they looked at each other in confusion, asking whether to leave them like that or not.
When the halcyon and nyctophile were done making fun of themselves, the former let her brother pull her back up while the latter was steadied by her curly-haired friend. Once they'd assured the boys that they were completely fine and that nothing was broken, the quartet moved around to skate for a little longer.
It was after around half an hour that they decided to call it off, feeling tired.
Nyx was about to join her friends to get off the rink, but she bumped into somebody on her way, luckily staying on her feet since there was no impact.
"Oh! I'm sorry. . .I'm not entirely good at this yet." she apologized, letting out a nervous laugh.
Instead of replying to her immediately, the man that she had knocked into just stared at her with calculating eyes. There was a sort of recognition flickering in his honey-coloured irises.
It was as if he knew her from somewhere, but the only dirty blond Nyx knew was Isaiah - so she was sure that she didn't know this person.
He was about to say something, but right when he parted his lips, Warren's voice calling for the brunette caught her attention. Nyx looked at the stranger and apologized again before skating away.
"Who was that?" Azriel asked her once they were off the rink.
Unbeknownst to them both, his hand was delicately placed on the small of her back as the group made their way back to where they'd left their shoes.
"No clue, I guess he mistook me for someone else. Or, he was probably just questioning my terrible skills." she shrugged.
Warren and Aurora were returning their skates while Azriel and Nyx hung back a little.
Azriel stood by the wall, leaning his back against it with Nyx standing right next to him, their shoulders bumping. The girl took off her gloves, making the mistake of forgetting to hide her bruised hands.
"What the fuck happened to your knuckles?"
Nyx froze, literally, the moment Azriel's angry voice flooded her ears.
Taken back for a heartbeat, she only blinked at him and glanced down at her hands.
The skin around her knuckles was broken, littered with healing scrapes that, thankfully since it had been a week, were fading.
It reminded her of how defeated she had felt last week due to her mother and this boy himself.
"Nothing," Nyx dismissed and hurriedly put her wrist gloves back on.
Azriel's voice was tainted with venom as he questioned, "Have they always been like that?"
The nyctophile avoided the raven monster's gaze and shook her head.
"It's nothing, Azriel. I dropped something on my hands a few days ago. You of all people have an idea of how unorganized and clumsy I can be."
"Don't fucking play games with me, Nyx. Who d-"
"Hey, you two," Warren saved the girl from an interrogation that she knew wouldn't go well. "Aurora and I are kinda hungry, you guys want to grab a bite? There's a place right outside,"
Nyx agreed without even listening any further, "Yes!" Anything to get away from Azriel's coldly narrowed eyes.
Not catching onto the thickened air between his best friend and the girl, Warren grinned, "Sweet."
He then led the pair over to where Aurora was standing by the doors, and the four of them then walked out together.
Even though Azriel had put off the topic for another time when he could talk to Nyx about it without anyone else finding out, he still felt a spark of raging lighting run through his veins every time he recalled the sight of her knuckles.
The only busted bruises he'd ever seen were his own, and only he knew what went through his head every time he tore his skin apart just to turn his writhing within into pain without.
He didn't want Nyx to be drowning in the same pit as him, he hated the idea of anything happening to her.
Next to the skating rink and a wall away was an arcade with a mini food court. Once again, the vibe in here was completely different from the rest of the world outside. The space was illuminated in neon hues only, dark and appealing, with music lower than the rink battling the sounds that came from the multiple gaming machines that occupied the wooden floors.
Since the room was fairly crowded and the seats were filling up quickly, the quartet decided that the boys would go stand in the long line by the menus and counter while the girls caught a table for them.
Nyx tried to pitch in for her food, only to get dry and unimpressed stares from Warren and Azriel. Knowing that there was no going against them, she sheepishly backed away and followed Aurora over to the seating area.
The girls looked around, hoping to find at least one empty table, even if it meant scooching. Right when they were about to give up hope, the raven-head's eyes widened happily.
"Found one!" Aurora exclaimed, grabbing Nyx's wrist and pulling her in the direction of what appeared to be the only empty table in the farthest corner of the room.
The pair threw hasty apologies at everyone that they narrowly dodged on their way over, putting on innocent smiles. The moment Aurora's hand slammed down on the table to claim it, another palm smacked down on it just as fast.
The girl looked up and locked sight with a familiar pair of basilisk eyes that flickered notoriously in recognition.
"I know you," the tall boy standing in front of the girls greeted, his malicious gaze roaming over the halcyon shamelessly.
He had a buzz cut, and Nyx was sure that the gash on his head was a scar with a bone-chilling story behind it. There was a certain gleam in green-golden eyes, but it was nothing like Warren's harmlessly mischievous one, no, it was purely wicked in every way. The piercings in his ear looked rather painful and unnecessarily excessive, his blackened lips wore a small ring too, just around the cut on his bottom lip.
It wasn't his appearance that was unfriendly, but at the same time, it was.
Everything about him screamed unpleasantly, there was a warning sign in his vibe.
"You remember me, don't you, Aurora?" the boy spoke again, his tone nasty.
Nyx looked at Aurora whose face was blank for a couple of moments, but the instant the stranger addressed her by name, she snapped out of her daze.
Aurora looked uncomfortable.
The alien's smirk only widened upon seeing the kind of negative effect he was having on the girl.
Taking a step closer, he asked tauntingly, "Is he here?"
Nyx didn't know what this boy was talking about, she didn't how he knew Aurora, she didn't know why he was affecting her in a bad way, but she didn't question it. She knew her friend didn't want to be around him, and that was enough for her to step in.
Grasping Aurora's wrist in an assuring grip, Nyx pulled her a step back and away from the stranger.
"We'll go find somewhere else to sit," she told her with a small nod, earning a hesitant agreement from her.
The pair turned around, not wanting to stay around the boy for another second, but he had other plans.
His tatted hand reached out for Aurora, but before he could even lay a single finger on her, it was slapped away.
Azriel stood there, the frostiest of all glares masking his features as he stared at part of all the bad in his past.
He held on to his sister's arm and pushed her behind him, shielding her from the serpent eyes of the boy. He stared him down, his fists clenched by his sides in a dangerously tight grip.
Something about Azriel's presence seemed to have immensely satisfied the odd boy, for his smirk only turned wickeder as he dared to leer right back into the raven monster's hardened eyes.
"Azriel," he greeted, his mocking tone sending a chill down Nyx's spine, "Haven't seen you since you ran off last year,"
They knew each other? Nyx wondered.
"Damian, why else do you think you're still able to run your mouth?" Azriel challenged, tilting his head to the side in the slightest manner.
Yeah, they definitely knew each other, Nyx concluded.
Damian let out a satirical chuckle, "Come on, man. That's how you're gonna treat an old friend?"
The venom on his face returned when he took a step closer to Azriel, his golden-green eyes twinkling with ill will, "What, forgotten all the good times we had?"
Stupid enough for thinking that he hadn't gotten high enough on the raven monster's nerves, the serpent stepped closer to him and said whispered.
"She's still with me, we're not done fucking around yet. Because that's what she wants - anyone that's not you or your kind. You remember her, don't you?"
Azriel's demon was chortling inside of its cage, screaming at the boy that everything he was running from was standing right in front of him, taunting his deepest fears, threatening to pull out what he'd spent so long burying.
Looking into the eyes of the boy who was once a part of his life, Azriel just shook his head and stepped back.
"Stay the fuck away from my sister, Damian. I mean it."
"Don't you want to see her?" Damian called out before the raven head could turn around to leave.
Azriel's thoughts formed a beautifully damaged sketch of a face that he had torn himself apart for, the face that had given him so many hopes, the face that had crushed them all in a single heartbeat.
"No," he confessed.
The raven monster never wanted to go back to what had made him the way he was.
"Why not?" Damian asked, tone still maliciously demeaning.
Azriel didn't have to think much as he answered, "Because she's not a win, she never was."
He then turned around to face his friends who stood there with furrowed brows and frowns, not understanding what was going on, still ready to step in whenever he needed them to.
His sister's frown was deeper, though, because only she knew what Damian was talking about. Her elder brother mustered up the smallest of smiles, one that only she could see, to assure her that he'd be alright.
The quartet had all prepared to leave, but Damian wasn't done yet.
"Oh, and she is?" he said, sounding unimpressed as he pointed a mocking finger at Nyx.
His unsettling ogle hovered over her figure annoyingly slowly, as if drinking her in till the last sip.
Warren stepped in front of the nyctophile protectively with his fists clenched at his sides. Aurora knotted her fingers with the girl's to comfort her, to tell her that they were all here by her side.
"Got yourself a new girl?" Damian inquired, licking the corner of his lips. "Like the old times, can we share?"
That was all it took to anger the monster reigning over Azriel.
In the blink of an eye, where Damian had previously been standing independently, his toes were now barely touching the ground. Azriel's hand was fisted around the boy's collar in a deathly grip, his grasp being all that was supporting him.
Azriel's cold hazel eyes were burning daggers into Damian's green-golden ones. Standing at the raven monster's mercy, the serpent realized just how far past the line he'd gone. His voice suddenly felt lost, gulping in fear, knowing that it would end badly for him.
"I dare you, Damian," Azriel's voice rumbled like thunder. "Repeat what you just said and I'll crack your skull against your own kneecaps,"
Damian was stupid, he really was.
He didn't want to be on the weak end of this - whatever this was.
Truth was, deep down, in a corner of his heart unbeknownst to him, the boy hated how Azriel had dug himself out of a whole that they'd both been stuck in once upon a time. He hated how the boy he'd fucked over this bad was now in a better place. He hated how the boy he'd wanted to drag down to his level was never powerless like to him to stoop as low.
Azriel was a better person, he was a better choice - Damian knew it, and he despised it.
So, he chose to prod the boy a little bit further, even if it would give him nothing more than momentary satisfaction.
Dropping a dirty one-sided grin, the serpent dared to say, "I'd take her. I'd take her the way I took M-"
A sickening crack sounded from Damian before he could finish his sentence.
Aurora let out a gasp and curtained her eyes with her free palm. Nyx's other hand was then wrapped in Warren's gently ensuring hold, the three of them watched motionlessly as Damian's head whipped to the side.
He coughed out blood. His pierced lips were stained with crimson as he held his jaw in his tatted hand, his chest heaving in fear.
"You stay the fuck away from me and mine, Damian," Azriel warned, tilting his head to glance at Nyx over his shoulder, catching her eyes for only a moment before looking back at the boy.
"That's right, run away again. That's all you can fucking do." Damian spat shakily when the quartet turned their backs to him.
Azriel didn't bother glancing at the broken boy as he said, "She was never a win, Damian. If she was, you wouldn't have been on your knees,"
With that, they left.
On their way over to the parking lot, Azriel's head was aching with the storm going on inside it, his mind was reeling in a whirlwind of so many memories that always brought out only the worst in him, everything - everyone - that he had left behind was rushing back to him like a tsunami of horrors.
He buried his trembling hands deep into his pockets, wanting to get away from the world and shut himself out in a place where he could lose himself.
Warren and Aurora hung back a step and nodded at Nyx, wordlessly telling her to go over to him if she wanted to.
The Logan girl knew why her brother had acted that way, she knew how he was connected to Damian, but it wasn't her story to tell.
Nyx placed a hesitant hand on Azriel's shoulder - she wasn't going to bother him for an explanation, all she cared about was if he was ok or not.
She was only halfway through calling out his name when he shrugged her hand off him and moved away.
"Don't," he declined. "This is way beyond your business. Leave me alone,"
Azriel's mind was too clogged up with crazing thoughts, he could feel a repulsive touch that was once so dear to him claw at his skin, he was too occupied to regret being cold to the one person whose comfort he needed the most.
His heart, though, was tearing itself apart into so many pieces to feel the gnawing loneliness at his chest.
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Later that night, the group drove home in silence.
Nobody had the courage to disturb the state of raging calm that Azriel was in.
Throughout the ride back home, Aurora kept sending Nyx apologetic glances on behalf of her brother, in response to which the latter shook her head to say that it was nobody's fault - she had understood that Damian was Azriel's trigger - and that he probably snapped at her in the heat of the moment and may not have meant it.
Or so she hoped.
Warren had dropped Nyx off first. He and Aurora had climbed down his jeep once it was parked in her driveway and hugged her goodbye.
The golden boy whispered in her ear that whatever it was, it'd be alright.
"Can we do this again sometime? Only if you're up for it, though, no pressure! I'll miss you." The halcyon had said to the nyctophile while hugging her, meaning it.
Hardly used to friendly affection of this sort, Nyx wrapped her arms around her new friend tightly, giving her a promising smile to convey that she was down, "I'll be there."
The pair didn't drive away immediately once they'd climbed back into the Mercedes, Nyx hung around for a little bit too. The three of them were secretly waiting for Azriel to say something to the girl, even if it was just a short 'goodnight' or a nod of his head.
But the boy did no such thing.
He had wandered off into the chaos of his resurfacing fears far too deep to come back out easily, his heart was building up its cage yet again - except this time, it was a lot stronger.
"Drive, Warren." was all Azriel said.
With that, he went back to resting the weight of his clouded head against the seat, eyes closed and the world shut out.
As the sight of Aurora and Warren's frowns and the sound of the latter's jeep faded into the distance, Nyx turned around and quietly headed to her front door.
Blankly, she used her key to unlock the door and let it close behind her on its own. Instead of taking off her shoes by the foyer like she always did, the cinnamon head simply moved further into the silently crying walls of her house. Climbing up the stairs with her battered soul weighing her down, she made it to her room after what seemed like the longest walk she'd ever taken, locking herself in.
Nova Hayden stood by the end of the stairs, a sort of concerned glimmer twinkling in her emerald eyes.
She'd watched her daughter disappear into the darkness as though she were a living corpse, fading into the open arms of the nothingness that lay ahead of her.
For the first time in achingly long, Nova not only felt a spark of concern for her girl, but she also understood what it was like for Nyx to see her mother do the same without even acknowledging her living presence.
Nyx was at her window sill, searching the starless sky for her moon. She felt empty inside, as empty as the sky looked.
It hurt and scared her to risk thinking about how she and Azriel may have gone back to square one.
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