TW**
this chapter contains a self-harm scene (only a paragraph separated by the " ** " mark)
proceed at your own discretion
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"You gotta be so cold
to make it in this world."
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"I can't do it, I'm sorry."
Minho sighed, got up from his seat, and exited the cafeteria private room. Leaving the rest of the Council members (except for Yuta, who wasn't there) at a loss for words. What could possibly make Lee Minho walk out of a simple mission?
Johnny tried to catch up with Minho's pace, hoping maybe he would open up if it's just the two of them. Minho sure got him a bit concerned since he's never seen his friend so worked up about something like that. Minho was the type of person who's always joked around and teased people no matter what situation he was in. Along with Minghao and Ten, Minho was also the mood maker of the team.
"Minho!" Johnny ran as he called out his friend, who wasn't stopping. "Minho! Wait!"
"You can't change my mind about this, Johnny," Minho said when Johnny was close enough to hear him. "Joshua or Changmin will do it fine, just leave me out of this one."
"But, why?" Johnny held his shoulder gently and Minho gave up and stopped in his tracks. "Do you wanna tell me what happened last night?"
Minho breathed in before exhaling a long sigh. "I—" He breathed in again, "I don't know. Nothing happened last night— I don't know what the fuck happened last night."
"Minho, are you okay?"
"I'm fine," Minho gently swatted Johnny's hand away before it could've reached him. "I just don't wanna talk about it."
"Dude, you know we can't do this without you."
"Well, I don't know. I don't— I can't do this." He then glared at Johnny. "But know that if you guys step out of the line, I won't just sit back and watch." With that, he walked away from the fellow Council.
~
"Where did you go last night?"
Yuqi and Tomi were walking to their class together, and Tomi still couldn't stop thinking about Juyeon.
"What do you mean?" Tomi took a glance at her friend.
Then her eyes scanned around the garden, hoping to see Juyeon somewhere. They walked past the Japanese gazebo where they both spent the entire night talking. She wasn't sure of what she actually felt towards him, nor did Juyeon told her what happened to him last night, but she hoped it'd helped him feel better.
"Not that I'm prying, but before I slept I never heard you go back to your room."
"Oh, I went back pretty late." Tomi dismissed.
Yuqi knew she was still hiding something, but she had no intention of finding it out. "Remember the plan?"
"Yes," Tomi nodded as they finally got out of the garden and entered the school main building. "Talk to Park Seonghwa." She recalled what Yuqi had instructed her. "But, may I know why Park Seonghwa?"
Tomi wondered if Yuqi knew she was friends with Seonghwa already. Because it would be easy since she always talked to him everyday.
"From what I've gathered, he hasn't been himself since the end of his second year. He was usually in a large group and now he's always alone. After he's changed he's done... a lot of things to hurt himself, and that includes almost jumping off a building." Yuqi said with a small voice. "Besides the self hurting part, those who had drastic change of their character went missing eventually."
Then Tomi recalled the first time she's met him. She wondered if he'd sprained his ankle on purpose. If Yuqi's suspicion turned out to be true: that NPS is doing something to him, she wanted to help. He's helped her a tremendous time and so far has been very nice to her.
Maybe the disappearance cases here could be linked to her mother's whereabouts.
"Yuqi," Tomi stopped in her tracks, making Yuqi stop from taking her first step on the next staircase. "You might think that I'm crazy for saying this but..."
Yuqi tilted her head to the side, giving Tomi a confused look. "What is it?"
Tomi took a deep breath, didn't know where to start. "I always feel something weird whenever he's around. The feeling gets stronger when he's closer, and it's evil— like an evil energy. But I only feel it coming off from his left arm that's always covered up."
She glanced at her friend to see if Yuqi was still following, and Yuqi remained silent, like she wanted Tomi to elaborate more.
"I can't explain how I can feel it. I've never felt anything like that before, not on anything or anyone."
Yuqi blinked at her, "That's a first one. The more reason to keep an eye on Park Seonghwa then." She looked around to catch potential eavesdroppers and found no one, she gently dragged Tomi to the corner. "I don't know why they're targeting Park Seonghwa. It's usually international students or someone—" Then Yuqi stared at her with wide eyes.
"What?"
"Someone with exceptional stamina..." Yuqi trailed off.
~
Seonghwa stayed in the biology lab until he was alone in the room. He's been playing with the shiny scalpel, tossing and wiggling it between his fingers since the class started. His arm under the white bandage had been throbbing in pain and he needed it to stop.
The only way to ease the pain is by making himself feel a greater pain, and he could only endure so much. Only by then, the throbbing pain on his entire left arm will eventually go away, even if it's just for a while.
I should've left when I could. I knew it was coming. It's all my fault.
**
Desperate, he brought the scalpel with his shaking left hand and held it against his right palm. He flinched as the cold, sharp metal pressed against his skin and eventually sunk in. He then dragged the scalpel across his palm. His jaw tightened as he held his breath, stifling the pain. He let go of the scalpel and watched as the blood slowly trickling down from his palm to color the white table.
**
He hit the table in frustration as he realized it wasn't working. As usual, he needed something stronger.
"Seonghwa!"
He looked up from the table to find Tomi closing the door behind her and stared at his red palm with wide eyes. She rushed to him, kept asking him what happened but he couldn't form a single word as he was too overwhelmed with all the pain he was feeling.
"Seonghwa! Look at me!"
Tomi held his face to make him focus on her, and he could feel some of the pain was slowly going away.
Just like what happened when he hurt his ankle when they first met. He wondered how was she doing that?
"We need to get you to the nurse's office," Tomi said slowly, his breathing becoming steadier. "Okay? Can we go now? Can you walk? I'll help you—"
"Wait," he panted. "Just a moment." He held her wrist, didn't want her to leave or get too far from him.
"Seonghwa—" she said out of frustration, then quickly grabbed a cloth she spotted on the table and pressed it against the deep cut on his hand. "Please, we need to go, I'll help you okay? Everything's going to be alright."
He let go of her hand that was pressing down on the cut, and the pain from it was already gone. Though the pain in his left arm was still there, he was used to it.
Seonghwa lifted her hand away from him gently, but she was insisting that they should keep the pressure on the wound. He eventually managed to convince her to calm down.
"Seonghwa, you have to—"
Tomi's mouth gaped open as she couldn't believe what she was seeing. She grabbed his 'bleeding' hand and looked all over his arm to find the opened flesh she'd seen. Now afraid if she was imagining things.
"I-I don't understand," then she looked up to check on him. "Are you okay? Do you feel dizzy or?"
Seonghwa let out a chuckle at her, "I'm fine, Kazama."
"But— you were bleeding and... I don't understand."
Seonghwa froze and stared at her, contemplating if he could trust her with what he was about to tell.
There it goes again. The pain in his left arm. Whenever she was around he didn't mind the pain as it was only hurting a little. Whenever they were talking, he would eventually forget about it.
"Nothing can hurt me," he blurted out.
"What do you mean? You look like you were hurting just a few seconds ago!"
Seonghwa looked around for the scalpel and found it on the table. He grabbed it quickly and pressed it down to prick his finger.
"What the hell are you doing!?"
"Relax—"
Tomi snatched the scalpel away from him and threw it away to the table. "What are you doing!?" She repeated again.
"Look," Seonghwa pointed at the tiny wound on his index finger that was slowly closing up. The skin was slowly coming together again, sealing up his wound and the bleeding eventually stopped. "I can't get hurt."
"Your skin just closed up..." Tomi trailed off as he just stared at his fingers. Then she stared at him with wide eyes. "Your skin just closed up..." She repeated.
"I know," it came out as a whisper and he took his hand away.
"How did you do that?" Tomi looked for his eyes but he kept avoiding her.
"What are you doing?"
"Huh? Me?" She gave him a confused look while pointing her fingers at herself. "I was just passing by the lab and came in to say hi—"
"No, no. How are you doing that?"
"Because I wanted to—"
"No—" How is it whenever you're around, it's suddenly bearable? But he left that part out. Then he let out a sigh before smiling at her, "nevermind. Have you had lunch?"
Whatever it is Seonghwa was hiding, she was confident she could get him to talk about it somehow.
~
"Sorry guys, I think I can't run practice today," Juyeon announced as soon as he arrived in the 11th Dojang.
"What??" Hyunshik got up from the floor and frowned at Juyeon. "And why's that?"
Tomi, who was stretching on the floor, looked up as soon as she heard his voice. He looked back on her, his gaze was still the same from the other night. Eyes still red and puffy too. She suspected he'd been crying again.
Juyeon looked away immediately as soon as their eyes met. He knew it was easier for everyone to notice his red eyes in daylight. "I have something that I have to take care of. We can move the practice to another day—"
"You can't just cancel practice without giving us a heads up! Can't you just show us a quick new routine?"
"Well, I'm sorry, Hyunshik. I'm sorry to everyone—"
"He does not have to be sorry," Tomi glared at Hyunshik, trying to maintain her calm. "He said we'll move the practice to another day. It's not that deep."
Hyunshik snickered, "whatever." Then turned his back on them, walking to exit the dojang.
Tomi kept shaking her head in disbelief as she watched him exit. She was about to catch up with him, to give him a piece of her mind, but Juyeon held her back by her wrist.
"Let me go," she tried to break free of Juyeon's grip. "He cannot disrespect you like that,"
Juyeon just smiled at her weakly and shook his head to the sides, telling her to drop it. So she gave up and sighed.
After Hyunshik left, no one said anything and stayed silent. Juyeon quickly excused himself, made it clear that he didn't want Tomi to follow him. Taeyong, who was busy doing some moves in the other corner, stayed unbothered by everything that's happened. Mira also excused herself in the end sensing practice was not happening today.
Tomi finally decided to practice the routines she was taught for the rest of the day. With Taeyong being in the same room, still not exchanging a word despite days of practicing together.
An hour passed without her knowing, but she hasn't felt exhausted yet. She was bored of doing the same routine over and over again. She wanted to ask Taeyong to maybe show her a new routine since he was capable like Juyeon. But scratch that. From his vibe alone he seemed like he didn't want anyone to approach him, let alone talk to him. Asking him to show her a new routine? Forget it.
Tomi stepped back from the training dummy, catching her breath. From the corner of her eyes, she could've sworn Taeyong was watching, and she was right. When their eyes met, he didn't look away and just continued to drink from his water bottle. She watched him as he put the bottle down, eyes still on her, then began to walk to her. She looked away with slight discomfort and even took small steps back from him.
"Do it again,"
That was the first time Tomi'd heard his voice. It was surprisingly soft and on the higher pitch, something she didn't expect with a face like his.
She would usually question anyone who ordered her around like that, but she didn't understand why her body would just move according to his command.
She sent a high kick to the dummy, then looked back at him, waiting for a comment.
"Again,"
And she did it again.
He told her to repeat the same move for another three times, with each she felt her form getting better and better. Then to her surprise, Taeyong pushed the dummy away and stood where it was positioned.
Tomi took a step back away from him, though she knew she could take him, she'd rather run away at that moment.
"Do it again,"
Now it was getting annoying. He'd been repeating the same words, like they were just the words he was able to speak. She thought pushing the dummy away further from her just to get her to walk was unnecessary, but she still wasn't questioning anything.
"No," Taeyong said before she could've walked to the training dummy. "Do it on me."
She frowned at the request but got to her stance anyway.
"With everything you got,"
She snickered at the additional comment and swung a kick at his face, only to be tackled down to the floor.
Taeyong was on top of her, locking her leg in between his arms, bending it to her back. She pushed the floor trying to get him off of her.
"You got good form and technique, but not strength." He said next to her ear, then he let go of her.
Tomi frowned at him as she watched him leave the dojang with his bag, catching her breath. When he left, she laid down on the floor, now exhausted.
"Who does he think he is??" She said out loud, then scowled at the thought.
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A/N:
Thank you for voting and leaving comments it's soooo quiet here so I get so happy when I see them👁👁💕
it's maybe too soon to ask but i was wondering who do y'all ship the MC with so far? 👀 Based on their interactions... since I'm pretty sure she've met every one of the potential love interests.
Well, except for San 😌 who will have his arc starts soon
I'm uploading another chapter tomorrow, or hopefully later today!
CHEERS