CHAPTER FORTY-ONE:
POGUES WHO CRIED WOLF
(episode two: the heist)
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SO KIE AND ARDEN had found the gun after all. That at least made Haven feel a little bit better, but any hopes she had of her mood improving were dashed by the realisation that they had to go visit their new Sheriff. So with heavy hearts, they wrapped up the gun in case there were somehow still fingerprints on it, and walked the four blocks it took them to get to Kildare County’s Sheriff Department. They must’ve looked like a hot mess; six teenagers smelling like shit and drenched to the bone, but none of them could bring themselves to care with what they knew was coming. Even Haven had hope this time. Surely, Shoupe couldn’t turn them away now. They had everything he needed to start an investigation, to open a door that would let John B and Sarah come home.
But something about the look on his face when he saw them come in, when JJ proudly unveiled the gun on the desk and stepped back, just told Haven Murphy that her hopes were for nothing. Kiara Carrera and Arden Kim had almost died for this, and yet he looked at them like they were time-wasters, Outer Banks’ very own boy who cried wolf.
“So, y’all are telling me this is the firearm that Rafe Cameron killed Peterkin with?”
“That’s exactly what we’re telling you, Shoupe,” JJ nodded.
“And the exact same firearm that Ward just used to kill Gavin,” Pope added.
Shoupe sighed to himself. “And where’s that corpse again, hm?”
“Didn’t you look?” Kie frowned, looking positively out-of-place in the chair opposite a police officer’s desk. Haven wasn’t sure what it was. Maybe, it was the brown tinge to her skin of dirt and shit, or maybe it was the fact she was a kook, she just looked strange to her. But that didn’t matter right now. What mattered was Shoupe’s unimpressed glower.
“I checked the hospital. I went by his house. He was out.”
“He was out?” Arden repeated with an incredulous laugh. “Shoupe, come on now—”
“Yeah, no shit he was out, he’s dead,” JJ added with a scoff.
“Shoupe, listen to yourself,” Kie sighed. “It makes perfect sense—”
But Shoupe, as usual, wasn’t having it. “Just because he’s not in his damn home does not mean he was a victim of a homicide.”
“Shoupe, please, you don’t understand—” Haven cut herself off, hands clenching into fists at her side. It was no use. Even addressing him felt like talking to a brick wall.
“Are you at least going to send it in for ballistics and shit?” Kie asked when the rest of the group didn’t. “Or are you just gonna sit on your ass?”
“Hey, listen now,” he began, but was interrupted by JJ scoffing and slamming his hands on the desk. Both Arden and Haven reached forward on instinct to pull him back, but JJ simply pushed them away gently, hard eyes locked with Shoupe’s impassive stare.
“That’s a stupid question, Kie,” he laughed to himself. “No, he’ll sit there and wax that damn moustache. Is that even real, Shoupe?”
“Hey, I’ll wax this—”
“God, shut up, JJ,” Pope hissed just as Shoupe, losing his patience, pushed to his feet with a finger pointed at the boy in warning.
“Oh, I’m sorry, did I hurt his feelings?” JJ rolled his eyes, gaze glaring daggers into Shoupe’s back as he stormed towards the door.
But he wasn’t leaving. He was seeing them out. Haven sighed in dismay as the group reluctantly followed after him, knowing it was no use. They’d given him the gun. They’d told him what they knew. And he was doing nothing. They had reached a dead end, and boy did it hurt.
“Get out,” Shoupe snapped, arms crossed stubbornly. “I’ve got work to do, and I don’t need you smelling up my damn office.”
The first to leave was Arden. She stormed out like a hurricane tearing in from the ocean, shooting insults at Shoupe under her breath before she disappeared outside. Kie went to follow after her, pausing in front of the man like a kicked puppy.
“Did Ward bribe you?” she asked with teary eyes. “‘Cause this doesn’t make any sense.”
“No, it does, Kie,” Haven couldn’t help saying as she wandered up to the girl. Under any other circumstance, Kie would’ve turned to her in surprise at her use of Kie’s nickname again, but she couldn’t bring herself to say anything as the first tear fell. “Cops always do this shit.”
“Careful, Miss Murphy.”
“What are you going to do?” she snapped at him. “Arrest me for a murder I didn’t commit? Or will you chase me out into the ocean so I can kill myself instead?”
“Out!” Shoupe roared, face going red. “Before I put you in a holding cell, Murphy.”
Pope hung back to say something as the rest of the group left, but Haven couldn’t bring herself to stay and listen. She’d completely forgotten that her mother had scheduled another meeting with her therapist, Maisie — that was, until the woman in question sent her a text as a reminder. She’d been dreading it at first, but after the day she had, she really needed it. So without so much as another word to anyone else, she set off in the opposite direction, head hung low to avoid meeting anyone’s eyes. She heard Brec explain where she was going, but she couldn’t even bring herself to feel mad that the girl had just revealed she was getting help. She just needed to get out of there, and fast, before everything came tumbling down around her for good.
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THE COUCH WAS A cracked, brown leather, frayed at the edges. With the warm sun shining through the slatted window and the weight of Dr Maisie Milburn's stare on her face, Haven stuck to it uncomfortably, melting into the fabric. When she first started seeing Maisie, she couldn't meet her eyes. It felt like the redhead was looking right into her soul, opening up her brain and unravelling her for the taking with every word. So Haven would stare at the picture frames on Maisie's wall, creating a backstory for every family photo she would take with her wife and two young daughters, even making up a name for the ugly tabby cat that would sometimes make an appearance in the background, his face smushed in displeasure. With time, she found Maisie's stare wasn't quite so threatening, but Haven sometimes found herself looking away, escaping into this stranger's life through what she'd allow Haven to see of it. Today was one of those harder days. Roger the ugly tabby cat had never looked more fascinating.
"I think, Haven, that you've already made up your mind on what you need to do," Maisie said, her eyes beseeching and earnest over the wire rim of her reading glasses. She had a blue leather notebook open on her desk, some notes messily scrawled from Haven's rant about the pogues. Haven hadn't told her much — admitting you'd seen someone get shot was a matter Haven knew Maisie would need to report to the authorities, and she didn't want this getting back to her mother any time soon — but enough that Maisie had a fair idea of just how strained Haven's friendship really was with Kie, Arden and Pope. She had hoped Maisie would have all the answers, but she didn't feel any better.
"I just," she cut herself off with a sigh, but forced herself to continue when Maisie hummed in reassurance. "I don't want to make the wrong choice then mess things up again. They already hate me."
"From what you've told me, I'd say 'hate' is a very strong word to use," Maisie said, idly tapping her ball-point pen on the oak wood counter of the desk. She smiled suddenly, soft and sympathetic. Haven's eyes immediately darted to the picture frame on her desk, of Maisie with her arm around a Chinese woman with two toddlers sitting on their hips. The anxious bouncing of her knee stopped just a second later. "Haven, you know that I'm always here if you need someone to discuss your frustrations with. You've been through a lot these past few months. It's perfectly normal to feel like you're struggling. But I think you're confusing advice and an open ear with a definitive answer. You already know that you want to fix your relationship with Arden, Kie and Pope. And it's okay to be afraid of messing that up, but don't let my opinion or anyone else's influence your decision. If things go wrong, they go wrong. It's a part of life sometimes. People grow and change, and relationships don't always grow and change with them. But that's a choice that you need to make for yourself. Do you understand that?"
Haven nodded slowly, brows tugged into a frown. "I think so."
With that said, Maisie closed her leather-bound book, a sign that the hour Haven had spent cooped up in her office was coming to an inevitable end. "Well, that's great. I'm looking forward to hearing how you go. You have my new number, yes?"
Haven nodded again, collecting her phone from the basket at the door on her way out. Maisie had a policy that all phones were to be off and out of sight during their sessions. It meant Haven couldn't be distracted by anyone, that she could completely focus on what she was feeling, thinking, needing from Maisie's expertise. Haven had hated it at first, but she grew to appreciate the break, to switch off from the world, even if it was just for an hour.
She powered on the device as she stepped outside the building, feeling jarred by the sudden shift in light. Her eyes slowly adjusted, though, allowing her to read the three text messages she'd been sent during her session.
Mum: Are you going to be home tonight or are you staying with your friends?
Sent at 1:49pm
Mum: Nevermind. Liam told me you'll be at Leonie's. Have fun.
Sent at 1:58pm
Of course he did.
Idiot Cousin: logan just vomited all over my shirt what did i do to deserve this
Sent at 1:15pm
With a roll of her eyes, she left him on read, deciding to call him later to bully him about the parent life. Last but not least was Brec.
Brec <3: Leo and I are waiting outside for you x
Sent at 1:52pm
"Oi, Murphy." Speak of the devil and the devil appeared. Leonie pressed down on the horn of her SUV, prompting Haven's eyes to quickly leave her phone. She couldn't help laughing at the sight of Leo with her head leaned out the window like a dog taking in the sun. One hand still hovering over the wheel, the other waving at Haven as she called out her name. Next to her was Brec with a visible blush on her face. She hung her head low when Leo pushed on the horn again, earning them a few dirty looks from people passing by. "Any day now would be great, girl."
"Sorry, I just saw your message," Haven chuckled as she hurried to get into the backseat.
Leo was quick to drive off once she was situated, turning the music up loud to sing along. It was a song that Haven didn't recognise, probably one by Nothing But Thieves since she knew Leo was painfully obsessed with them and their newest Moral Panic album. Fortunately, Leo happened to live just around the corner, so they only got through two songs from her favourite album before pulling up in the gravel drive behind her dad, Felix's, motorbike.
"Wait, where's Alison?" Haven frowned as they got out of the car.
Leo spared her a glance over her shoulder before locking the vehicle and leading the way up to the porch. "She's here already. We were just waiting on you."
"Oh."
"We didn't mind," Brec piped up when she noticed Haven's smile wavering slightly. "We've still got all afternoon."
But as much as she tried, Haven just wasn't feeling it. Brec and Alison had convinced her and Leo to watch the Titanic again, leaving her crammed up on a couch with Brec's head on her shoulder and Leonie's legs slung across her lap for three hours. Which, normally, wouldn't have been too bad, but Leo's air conditioning had started playing up as soon as the movie started, leaving them with nothing but the lukewarm breeze filtering in through the windows and a tiny box fan that Leo's other dad, Alexei, had fished out of the shed for them before getting back to his painting.
Eventually, when Haven got tired of watching Jack and Rose freeze to death, she gently shrugged Brec's head off her shoulder, the tightness in her chest seeming to ease once the weight of her was gone. She pushed aside Leo's socked feet, feebly grabbing the now empty bowl of popcorn while mumbling about a refill. It was total bullshit, and the girls would've known had they been paying attention to the look on Haven's face. She hadn't touched the popcorn once, not even when Brec tried to convince her to, but she needed a second away to breathe, to figure out the loop of choices spinning around and around and around in her head, again and again. She didn't hear the footsteps behind her until they had already reached the kitchen door.
"I thought you were making popcorn," Leo frowned, arms loosely folded over her chest.
"I was just about to look for it," Haven shrugged, not even noticing the packets lined up on the counter in front of her. It was only when Leo raised a skeptical brow, plucking up one of the packets to wave in her face that she flushed, an embarrassed laugh spilling from her lips. "The one day I decided to wear contacts instead of glasses, huh?"
But Leo wasn't interested in small talk. The moment Haven switched on the microwave and turned to face her, she pounced. "What's going on with you?" she asked, as blunt as ever. "You didn't cry at all during the movie."
"Well, neither did you," Haven shrugged, feeling uselessly uneasy.
Leo scoffed out a laugh. "I never cry at the Titanic. You can only watch Jack die for nothing so many times before it gets old. But I know you used to cry. This is, like, the fourth time those two idiots have made us watch it. So what's going on?"
Abruptly, they heard someone sob from down the hallway, then Brec calling out, "Haven! Leo! Can you guys bring tissues with you? Rose just let Jack go."
Leo smirked. "Case in point."
But Haven just sighed, leaning up against the counter beside her. The microwave beeped, the light switching off inside to signal the popcorn was ready, but neither of them made a move to collect it. They just stood there, Haven staring at the floor with Leonie's glare burning daggers into the side of her face.
Then, out of nowhere, Haven asked, "How do you know you're unlabelled?" At the same time, they heard another cry from Brec and Alison, followed by the two girls' outraged exclamations that Jack would have lived if Rose just moved her ass over. Not what Haven was originally thinking of, but a question she had thought of before.
Leo just looked at her for a moment before laughing and shaking her head. "You say unlabelled like it's a label, Haven," she said, deadpan but not harsh. "Is this about Brec? I thought you liked her."
"I do," Haven insisted. Then why did it feel like she was lying to herself? God, she didn't feel like this until she saw Pope and Kie together. It was so wrong. She was such a bitch. "I just… I don't know what my sexuality is. But I know you're unlabelled, and I wanted to ask how you… realised? I don't know if that's the right word. I'm sorry—"
"How do we know what our hair colour is? Eye colour? It's just a part of you that's your's and your's alone to figure out." At Haven's wide eyed-stare, Leo laughed and nudged her towards the microwave. "I know. I'm so inspirational. But if you're serious, then I can't tell you what your sexuality is. I just choose not to have labels because none of them feel like me. It's like… I'm trying to put on a jacket that's five times too small for me. It just won't fit, you know?"
"Yeah," Haven frowned. "I think so."
"There's plenty of labels you can look into; bisexual, pansexual, queer. That is, if you like more than one gender, which you sound like you do. But if none of them fit, then that's okay too. You don't have to explain anything to anyone."
"You're really sweet, you know that?" Haven smiled at her.
Leonie immediately scoffed, forcing an exaggerated scowl onto her face. "Tell anyone and I'll kick your ass."
"Sure."
"I mean it."
"I believe you. I do." But she couldn't help smiling all the same.
Leonie shook her head. "You're dumb. Get the popcorn, I'll find Brec's stupid tissues."
Things were still really unclear, but Haven managed to get through the rest of the movie without thinking of the pogues again.
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A/N: And I'm back with another chapter!! I've had some inspo for Haven recently, and I couldn't resist writing for her again even though I was meant to update my JJ Maybank fic. I don't feel bad about it, though, 'cause we got more Leonie content in the end! Also, speaking of Leonie, I have a disclaimer: her opinions of sexuality are merely my own and what I've learnt from research. I'm unlabelled, too, and this is just my understanding. Everyone is different, and that alao goes for therapy. Haven's experience with her counsellor, Maisie, is similar to my own. If you have any questions about it, feel free to message me, but I'm by no means an expert on sexuality and mental health. And with that said, I hope you enjoyed the chapter! Please do let me know what you think about it <3 Thanks for reading!