Pretending all was normal proved much more difficult than Tanjiro had anticipated. The journey was unnervingly quiet without Inosuke's commentary, and both he and Zenitsu could feel it. Tanjiro wondered what Inosuke might be up to back at the mansion. Whatever it was, he hoped he was doing well. All in all, he was just relieved he'd be safe there for the time being.
Despite his worries, Tanjiro was in oddly good spirits, driven by the giddiness of having just shared his very first kiss with his very first boyfriend. He began to daydream about what had unfolded. It had gone remarkably well, given everything, and he was still trying to grasp that his daydreams had become a reality. He wished more than anything that he could have stayed behind and indulged in his teenage desires just a little more.
"Tanjiro?" Zenitsu chimed, breaking their silent amble. "Not to put you on the spot, but I'm dying to know how you confessed. Did you do your plum idea?"
Tanjiro squeaked out a nervous laugh. He hadn't considered that Zenitsu might be interested in hearing about how things had gone. "Actually...I didn't confess first," he admitted, watching his feet to avoid Zenitsu's gaze.
Zenitsu cupped his hand to his mouth to cover a gasp. "You're kidding!" When Tanjiro nodded, he piped up again, "Details. Now!"
"Okay." Tanjiro gave in without much of a fuss. He couldn't stop thinking about it anyway, so he reasoned it might be best to get it off of his chest. "I asked him to stargaze with me," he said, looking to the side. "He walked just fine with his crutches outside; can you believe that? I mean, he's come so far! I taught him about constellations, and we talked for hours. And I told him I would miss him while we wait for him to heal. And later, he told me he'd miss me too, and then..."
Zenitsu was already invested in the story, hanging onto Tanjiro's every word. "Then?" he probed eagerly.
"He asked me if I could ever like a boy. And I said it would depend on who it is—"
"You tease!" Zenitsu laughed. "I bet that scared him half to death!"
"Well, he was pretty nervous. But I didn't want to put words in his mouth, is all. Gosh, Zenitsu—he was so sweet." Tanjiro's facial muscles were already sore from smiling so much. "He was shaking so badly...and he told me he loved me, and he called me handsome—am I really?" He pressed a couple fingertips to his jaw as he asked.
"You are," Zenitsu chuckled, giving him a congratulatory pat on the back. "And that was all ...kinda cute, actually. I didn't think he'd be able to do it!"
"I know! I keep thinking about it." Tanjiro was still smiling.
"So then what? After he told you."
"I told him I loved him too, and we held hands, and we hugged..." He wrapped his arms around himself. "That was his first hug ever! I can't even imagine...and well, we kinda cried too because we were nervous for me to go on a mission without him...that's probably dramatic, though." He looked away a bit sheepishly.
Zenitsu grinned. Seeing Tanjiro so happy made him increasingly proud of himself for having talked some sense into Inosuke. "No no, I get where you're coming from. I'd be freaked out too. But then what?"
"We went to bed together...we just cuddled, though; I swear!"
Zenitsu giggled. "I know, you guys woke me up when you came in."
"Ugh, I was hoping we didn't. Why didn't you tell us to quiet down?"
"You were having a date night!" he countered. "I wasn't about to butt in. Besides, the door is loud no matter what you do. It's not like it's a crime to stay up late."
"I guess you're right...it was really nice to sleep next to him. It felt safe, and he smelled good." He laughed softly.
"Inosuke? Smelled good?" Zenitsu snorted. "You sure you got in bed with the right guy?"
"Hey! He hasn't really had the chance to work up a sweat lately!" Tanjiro argued.
"Hah, or wear that nasty mask of his. Well, anyway, congrats! Took you guys long enough. Now we just gotta get home safe so you can pick up where you left off!"
Tanjiro sighed. "Right. I'm feeling confident!" He puffed out his chest.
"Good! Just remember who's waiting for you and you'll have it under control." Zenitsu's face lit up as a new thought came to mind. "Ooh, are you excited for your first kiss?" He wiggled his eyebrows in jest, giving Tanjiro's shoulder a playful shove.
Tanjiro's eyes widened, and his ears began to turn pink. "Oh! About that..."
Zenitsu started to laugh again. "What's that look for? You nervous or something? I could give you tips if you need. I swear it isn't that scary once you get past the jitters."
"Um...I mean, thank you, but..." Tanjiro's heart beat a little faster as he recalled the scent of Inosuke's passion. Sweet. Tangy. Warm. The air had been thick with it while they kissed; so potent that Tanjiro swore he tasted honey with each breath he took against Inosuke's lips. He was smitten thinking about it. Only the most intense emotions birthed such an inundating perfume, so he was well aware of how fiercely Inosuke had fallen for him.
Zenitsu paused to read his expression before gasping theatrically. "Don't tell me you already kissed!" he hollered, shaking Tanjiro by his shoulders.
"Uh..." The apples of his cheeks were red now. "We kind of..." He hid his face behind one hand, voice growing timid, "made out..."
"Shut up! Seriously?!" Zenitsu's jaw hit the floor. Tanjiro never struck him as the kind of person who moved quickly in relationships. Especially after it had taken him such a painfully long time to admit his feelings in the first place.
"I wasn't planning on it! It was just gonna be a peck and then he—" A nervous giggle slipped out. "Well, you know." His heart bounced out of rhythm as he thought about it.
Zenitsu crossed his arms as envy sprouted in his chest. "Sheesh, I haven't even made out with Nezuko yet! Was he any good?"
"...In my opinion, yeah. It was sort of like we just read each other, you know? But I don't really have anything to compare it to. It was my first, after all—"
"Stop, stop. You made out? As your first? Ever?"
"I told you, I didn't plan on it!" Tanjiro knew how ridiculous he sounded. "He started it! Speaking of which, you need to be more careful about what you say to him!" He pointed at him.
"What?" Zenitsu was surprised by the accusation.
"He started kissing my neck! And he said that you told him it was something couples do."
"But it is! He asked, so I told. Am I wrong?"
"No, but he doesn't know the context behind it. You can't leave those details out for him. It really startled me, okay?"
Zenitsu could see how red the topic was making him. "Ehh, I guess you're right. I'll try to be more careful. But are you really complaining?" He held back a laugh.
"I am not discussing this with you," Tanjiro quipped, embarrassed, and picked up the pace of his gait to put some space between them.
"Hey!" Zenitsu called out to him. "You're lucky I didn't tell him about hickeys! Or are you?" He burst into laughter.
"Change the subject!"
——————
Back at the mansion, Inosuke could feel himself going stir-crazy. For the first time, he was filled with a foreboding which he could barely begin to understand. The longer Tanjiro was away, the sicker he felt. That was all he could compare it to. He would wake up queasy, check the mound of soil where Tanjiro had planted the plum pit, then spend his day feeling as if his organs were being squeezed by an unseen force. It was supremely uncomfortable, as if he had swallowed an object that far surpassed the width of his esophagus. He wished he could run until he was too tired to feel anything. In the past, he relied on this method to quell any emotions that were too big for him to work through on his own.
Thinking of Tanjiro was blissfully nauseating. The more he imagined his embrace, and his lips against his, the further away he felt. It made his heart ache just as much as it fluttered. For a custom so odd, why had kissing felt so electrifying? In his dreams, Inosuke would kiss Tanjiro over and over, grasping him by his clothes, his face; even his hair. Each time, he'd manage to slip through his fingers, and he'd wake up to a tear-soaked pillow in his arms. He felt deranged. Loving someone was truly the worst thing that ever happened to him.
He scribbled portrait after portrait of Tanjiro, painstakingly imagining each of his features one at a time. His abilities weren't all that refined, but he felt that each attempt was a bit more accurate than the last. He was at least sure that his renditions were recognizable. Aoi was amused by the ever-growing pile of drawings on his bedside table when she would bring him meals.
Inosuke wondered if this was how Zenitsu felt when he was riddled with anxiety. If it was, he was beginning to understand why he squirmed and raised his voice with discomfort so often. Eventually, he started getting his energy out by repetitively lifting large stones in the garden. His arms had sustained more muscle than he'd expected from having to use his crutches to get around. And once he realized this, he spent much of his time pacing back and forth in the infirmary with them, trying to improve his speed. He began to notice a significant difference in the size of his legs when he laid down in the evenings. One had grown plump with muscle, and the other only seemed to be shrinking.
After several days of Inosuke's new routine, Tanjiro's crow returned with a note pierced in its claws. The one thing Tanjiro had taught Inosuke to read was his name, so when he saw the familiar characters in just the right order, his eyes lit up. He accepted the note, then hesitantly patted the crow atop its head with his index finger. His friends had taught him to be kind to the messenger crows, but he couldn't shake the thought of all the birds just like them that he had eaten in the past. Their presence never ceased to make his stomach growl.
He brought the note to Aoi straight away, hobbling as fast as he could to the kitchen. "Read this!" he blurted, panting. Holding the folded note out to her, he added, "It's from Tanjiro!"
Aoi rolled her eyes, though she was smiling slightly. "Alright, give it here, half-wit." She wiped her hands on a towel.
As she unfolded the letter, Inosuke was practically vibrating with anticipation.
"Hi Aoi, thanks for reading this for him..." she trailed off into an inaudible mumble as she read the rest of the blurb Tanjiro had left for her at the top of the letter. I hope he's been behaving while we're gone. Sorry if he's been a bit much. "Okay, this part is for you."
"Hi, Ino," she read. "Oh, that's what he calls you now?"
Inosuke blinked. "He hasn't before." Ino. It made him feel warm. No one had given him a nickname like that before.
"Hah, that's cute." She cleared her throat. "Hi, Ino. We finished our first mission no problem. Zenitsu and I made it through with only a couple minor scratches. I wish I could say I'm coming to see you now, but we're unfortunately headed to another one. I miss you a lot. I can't wait to—" She grimaced jokingly. "Ew! ...I can't wait to kiss you again. I'll write you again soon. Please take care. Love, Tanjiro."
Inosuke couldn't keep from smiling. He was tickled pink knowing that it wasn't just him who was hoping for more kisses. I wish I could read, he thought. I bet he would have said more if he knew someone else wouldn't have to read it for me.
This was true. Tanjiro had so much more to say in his letter, but the thought of Aoi reading it made him far too embarrassed. He chose to keep it to the point instead.
"When's it from?" Inosuke asked.
"Hm. He dated it the ninth. So that's two days ago. I'm sure he's still fine right now."
Inosuke sighed. "Good. Thanks."
"So!" Aoi smirked, handing the letter back to him. "You two kissed?"
Inosuke crumpled it around the handle of his crutch in order to hold onto both things at once. Looking away, he answered. "Yeah. He's...my boyfriend."
"Ooh, so you're exclusive? You're a lucky guy! I swear everyone has a crush on him. Not that I blame you all. He's sweet. I didn't think he was into men, but..." She chuckled, looking him up and down. "You two make sense together, in a real weird way."
"Other people like him?" Inosuke was hit with a twinge of jealousy. The thought of Tanjiro sharing a kiss with someone else made his stomach drop.
"Oh yeah, he's popular. I hear the gossip. A couple girls who were staying in the infirmary saw you two sharing a bed last week. They were pissed. I thought it was a little weird, but he's always talking about his 'best friend,' so I tried not to think much of it. I figured it could have just been a friendly thing. It's not like it's wrong for guys to be close like that."
"He talks about me?" The jealous feeling had started to dissipate.
"All the damn time! You could sneeze and he'd swoon. But seriously, you should feel special. He could pull just about anyone, but he chose you! ...For some reason."
Inosuke turned to head out of the kitchen, unfazed by her last remark.
"Where are you off to? We aren't done talking!"
"Wait." He returned shortly with his latest portrait in hand, again crumpled between his palm and the handle of his crutch. "Can you write something on it for me?"
"Sure, whatever." Aoi took the drawing from him. It wasn't half bad. "You know, I could teach you some more words sometime, if you wanted." She looked around for something to write with.
"I, uh. Yeah, sure."
It wasn't long before she discovered a stubby pencil in a drawer. "If you would just practice writing as often as you've been drawing your boyfriend, you'd be completely literate in no time," she joked, waving the portrait in the air as she spoke. "Alright, what do you want it to say?" She attempted to flatten the paper against the counter with her forearm.
"Make it say 'I love you'." He bit at the inside of his cheek.
Aoi wrote I love you at the bottom of the page. "Okay, what else?"
"I don't know what else to say." This was an obvious lie, but the last thing he wanted was to dictate his message to Aoi. It was hard enough to let his words of romance fall on Tanjiro's ears alone.
"Eh, I guess at least it'll be authentically you. I'm gonna add that I wrote it for you." She wrote the word from, then left a space after it for Inosuke to sign his name. Beginning a new section of text, she continued, written by Aoi. He didn't know what else to say, but he's been thinking about you nonstop. There's a thousand drawings of you on his night stand. Keep calling him Ino. He likes that, I can tell. Take care.
"Here," she held the paper up and pointed to the space she'd left. "This says 'from.' I left a spot for you to write your name."
"Okay." Inosuke leaned one crutch up against the counter and rested his elbow next to it as he meticulously wrote out the characters. Aoi found it comical that he wrote his full name, as if he were autographing it. About a minute passed before he was satisfied with his work. "There," he declared, comparing Aoi's handwriting to his own. Hers was much neater, and she seemed to write so effortlessly.
"Look," she pointed. "This part says 'I love you'."
Inosuke squinted at the phrase, trying—and failing—to memorize it. None of the characters matched the ones in his own name. How can so many people read when there's so much to remember? he wondered.
"You know what, come back here after you give that to his crow. I'll teach you how to write some more things."
Inosuke thought about it. He had been planning on returning to bed to think about how much he missed Tanjiro until he fell asleep again.
"That's not an invitation. I'm tired of watching you sulk all day." Aoi glared at him.
She was more intimidating than Inosuke cared to admit. "...Okay."
——————
As it turned out, Tanjiro, Zenitsu, and Nezuko were caught in a lucky streak. They completed their next mission without a hitch. But being a demon slayer came with the curse of never truly getting to rest. Given the near-perfect state of their bodies, they were tasked with new missions as soon as one was over with, or at least before they could make their way back to the butterfly mansion.
Tanjiro held together well outwardly, but inside, he was beginning to miss Inosuke so dearly it manifested like a shank in his side. He almost wished he would get hurt—only enough to justify heading home. He found himself daydreaming of twisted wrists and ankles, and Inosuke's lips pressed against them.
When his crow brought Inosuke's first letter to him, Tanjiro was struck with Cupid's arrow. Zenitsu and Nezuko watched him unfold it for the first time at the end of a long day. Once he had looked it over, he held it to his chest with the silliest smile on his face. The two wrestled it from his hands to see what had made him act that way, and proceeded to tease him all evening.
"Ino? Really??" Zenitsu wouldn't let him live it down.
The drawing is actually really nice! Nezuko wrote out. You can tell he worked hard on it.
Tanjiro agreed. He liked the way Inosuke had drawn his eyes. Big and dreamy, with long lashes. Just how he saw Inosuke's: through rose colored glasses. He kept it in his pocket to peek at a few times a day. He was delighted that Inosuke had taken up a hobby, and more than honored to be his muse.
Tanjiro and Inosuke began sending letters back and forth as often as possible. Zenitsu and Nezuko would add notes and doodles of their own on the corners of Tanjiro's. Inosuke drew all of them in his letters (though it was always obvious he spent the most time on Tanjiro's likeness) and Aoi documented what he wanted to say, leaving spaces for him to write in the words he'd learned. She taught him to write their names, 'I love you,' 'I miss you,' and some assorted nouns and conversational phrases. As sloppy as it was, Tanjiro was enamored with Inosuke's penmanship. He was so proud of him for making such a good effort to learn something that he had previously deemed to be far out of his range of ability.
Weeks passed, and the lucky streak stuck. But Tanjiro didn't feel so lucky. September was halfway through, and it seemed as if they would never catch a moment to breathe. That being said, he was having a good time hanging out with Zenitsu and Nezuko, though their affections towards each other never failed to make him feel lonelier. Sometimes the trio would have enough time to act like tourists for a few hours. It was nice to pretend as if they were only friends doing some sightseeing while on vacation. But if it really were a vacation, Tanjiro would have brought Inosuke along. Many times, he'd find himself preparing to say something to him, only to remember he wasn't there.
Inosuke checked on the dirt mound every day, but nothing grew. He was starting to think an animal had dug it up.
Tanjiro began opening up to Zenitsu about his violent fantasies. At night, he'd begun to dream serenely of Inosuke rewrapping bandages around his bloodied arms. "It's not right," he explained. "I shouldn't be thinking like this. But I keep hoping I'll get hurt just so we can go back. I feel like I'm going crazy."
"I think I could break your arm and make it look like an accident," Zenitsu chaffed, and for a moment, Tanjiro started to consider it. "No, I'm kidding. But don't worry, you just miss him. We'll go back soon. One of us is bound to break a rib or something." He didn't know he'd be eating those words later on.
Inosuke took his first steps while Tanjiro was gone. It was frightening, but so exciting. When the ball of his foot touched the ground, his body tensed with apprehension. But before he knew it, the whole sole had made contact with the floorboards. Then, he slowly shifted his weight onto it. And, although precarious, it didn't hurt. He hollered with joy, and everyone in the infirmary clapped and cheered for him. Inosuke wished Tanjiro had been there to witness it. Things were turning up.
When Inosuke wasn't in rehabilitation training, he was walking around the mansion. It was so gratifying to be able to do things on his own. Rebuilding strength in his leg had become his main priority. It disturbed him to look at it, especially since it appeared so starkly different from the leg that had remained in use. It seemed spindly and fragile next to the other. He wasn't proud of it; at times feeling thankful Tanjiro wasn't there to witness how significantly it had wasted away.
And then, one too many days passed without a letter from Tanjiro. The lucky streak was over.
——————-
Inosuke was plagued with a sense of dread that trickled through his body like venom. As he sat, hunched over in the garden, waiting nervously for Tanjiro's crow to fly in, he couldn't stop himself from picturing worst case scenarios. Blood splatter. Entrails. Tanjiro's face, lacking life behind the eyes. He sat there for hours on end, sunrise to sunset, until his body ached and his spine felt ready to shatter.
"Not eating is one thing," Aoi groused, poking her head out of the door, "but you need to go to bed. I know you're worried, but you can't just sit out here forever."
"I'll sit here as long as it takes. I need to be around for when his crow shows up." Inosuke rested his forehead in his hand.
"You're shaking. Get inside. If it comes by while you're sleeping, it'll wait for you on the roof." Aoi hated his stubbornness.
"What if he's dead?" He spoke monotonically, with haste.
"Then he'll still be dead whether or not you torture yourself out here. Get up." She was aware of the harshness in her words, but there was no other way to get through to him.
Straightforward, to the point, easy to understand. This way of reasoning was usually what Inosuke preferred, but at a time like this, it was atrocious. Aoi's words came forth piercingly cold. Silence followed.
She grabbed a fistful of his hair and tugged. "Get. Up. You're gonna go insane if you don't get some sleep."
Without an attempt at retaliation, Inosuke stood, joints audibly cracking. "What am I gonna do?" He stared at her exhaustedly. Desperately.
"I don't know, Inosuke." Her brow furrowed with helplessness. "But you have to take care of yourself enough to live. You know he'd want that for you. Whether he's dead or alive."
Inosuke sidled past her to the infirmary without another word. It felt as if his peripheral vision was closing in on him as he threw his body onto his bed, not bothering to adjust his position to one that was actually comfortable. Aoi hadn't even tried to be optimistic, and that settled things in his mind. He was sure that his first love, and his friends, if not both, had to be nothing but flesh and blood and bone by now.
——————-
"Come on, we're almost there! Keep breathing, keep breathing..."
Tanjiro's eyelids hung halfway closed. His vision was starting to blur. He stumbled over his own feet, struggling to maintain total concentration breathing. Blood steadily dripped from his nostrils to his chin, and some had already dried to his skin.
Zenitsu was doing his best to breathe, too. Each time his lungs expanded too far against his fractured ribs, his knees buckled from the pain. But at the same time, his lungs burned with a need for more air.
The trio stumbled through the mansion doors in the middle of the night. Tanjiro's left hand was wrapped up in Zenitsu's kyahan, though the fabric was unrecognizable from the blood it was soaked in. Zenitsu had both of his hands clasped around Tanjiro's, attempting to keep pressure on his wound. Nezuko stayed at Tanjiro's other side, helping him to keep his balance as they hurried inside.
"Help!" Zenitsu cried down the hall. "Please, he won't stop bleeding!"
Aoi came rushing around the corner. "What the—the kakushi didn't find you? Tanjiro! Your hand!"
"We lost his crow in the mission before this one. And now Chuntaro's wing is busted, so they were never alerted." Zenitsu's voice was hoarse between heavy breaths. "We didn't know about any safe houses in the area, so we just came here on foot as fast as we could. His finger's gone, there's nothing left." Blood began to soak through the makeshift kyahan bandage and down Zenitsu's wrists.
Tanjiro started to faint, and Nezuko planted her feet steadily to keep him upright.
"Fuck. Alright, I'll get a nurse." Aoi ran down the hall.
It wasn't long before the mansion had erupted with voices. Some speaking, some yelling, in all kinds of tones. Inosuke stirred awake, blinking slowly. He saw the infirmary door cracked open, with light streaming through. The other slayers from the infirmary were huddled around it in their pajamas, peering into the hall.
"What's happening?" he slurred, wiping drool from his mouth.
One of the girls looked over her shoulder at him, a worried expression on her face. But she wouldn't respond. Figures moved past the door frame.
"Is it—is it him? Are they back?" Inosuke scrambled to his feet and to the door, pushing rashly through the others.
"Everyone, please stay back! This is an emergency! Go back to your beds!" One of the medic women stood at the door, holding her arms out to keep everyone contained in the infirmary.
"Is it Tanjiro? Are they back??" Inosuke gasped. His eyes were wild with fright.
"I can't give you any details on the situation right now as we're not sure of the extent of what we're working with. We just need everyone out of the way so we can work as efficiently as possible."
The formality in her words both confused and frustrated him. "Just tell me, I need to know! I have to!" He felt ready to vomit.
"Please go back to your bed." The woman held her ground. There was no sense in letting a distraught loved one distract anyone from the task at hand.
"Let me through!" Inosuke desperately clawed at the door frame, making it far enough past her to see a glimpse of fresh blood on the floor. His lips parted with fear as he worried his visions were true. A couple kakushi members came by to wipe it up with towels.
"Help me restrain him, please!" The woman held onto Inosuke's wrists as the other slayers gathered to assist her in lowering him to the floor as he kicked and struggled.
As the others held his limbs against the floor, Inosuke began to cry. "Please, I just need to know if it's him..." he wept. But no one would answer. Their eyes were all fixated on the door as they waited for any more instructions. None of them knew what to say to him, anyway. The commotion only grew louder.
Time seemed to slow as Inosuke attempted to calm his breathing. If he's here, I can find him, he thought to himself. "Spatial awareness..." he murmured, closing his eyes.
Deeply focused, he searched for any sign of Tanjiro. Following down the hall, into a small operating room, he made out a faint outline that had to be him. He saw the medics helping him into a chair; his head falling to the side every few seconds as he went in and out of consciousness. A bundle of wet fabric around his hand, and the medics assembled around him, working quickly to remove it. His hand...what's wrong with his hand? As it was unwrapped, he noticed a space between his fingers that was a little too wide to be normal. He counted, and only made it to four. If he could even call it that. It was more like three and a half.
Inosuke writhed under the grasp of his fellow slayers, more tears spilling from the corners of his eyes. Tanjiro was hurt; bad. But what could he do? The others had it under control. He only wished he could be there, at least for Tanjiro to cling to. He felt humiliated, being pinned down like some kind of vicious animal. "...I'll go back to bed, I swear..."
"Let him up." Aoi stood in the doorway. "I'll take it from here."
The other slayers loosened their grip so Inosuke could sit up, and Aoi helped him to his feet. "Come on." They walked back to his bed together, and Inosuke sat at the edge.
"It's Tanjiro," she sighed, looking gravely into his eyes.
"I know." His stomach churned from her tone and expression.
"They just need to stop the bleeding. It's not even a vital organ or anything; he just lost a bunch of blood on the way here. They'll bring him in here when they're done patching him up, so just wait, okay?"
Everyone shuddered as an anguished cry echoed down the hall. Inosuke could just imagine how much pain Tanjiro was in, from whatever they were doing to him. He wished he could comfort him throughout the process, but he knew he'd only be in the way. "O-okay," he blubbered, gripping his knees.
"I know it's scary. Just stay. They're doing everything they can." She began ushering the other slayers to their beds.
Inosuke stared at his pillow, thinking about everything Tanjiro had done for him while he had been recovering. How was he supposed to repay that?
"It's Kamado; that cute one," he heard a girl whisper. "His face is all screwed up, I saw."
"What a waste," another whispered back.
Their words pierced through him. What had happened to his face? He wondered if the Tanjiro he'd see tonight would be that much different from the way he remembered him. A few more pained screams filled the mansion before everything grew quiet once more.
———————
Inosuke had no idea how long it had been by the time Tanjiro was carried into the infirmary, laying limply in the arms of one of the medic men. When he heard the familiar creak of the door, his head shot up from his pillow. It had been so long since he had seen Tanjiro in person. He watched—a bit dumbfounded—from his bed, scared to take his eyes off of him. As if he might disappear if he looked away.
Tanjiro was dressed in pajamas now, and his hand had been wrapped tightly in fresh dressings. It was hard to make out his face in the dark, but Inosuke could see that some kind of bandage had been placed across his nose.
Nezuko and Zenitsu followed closely behind, hand in hand. Zenitsu walked stiffly from the piercing pain in his ribs, and Nezuko patiently slowed her pace to stay beside him.
As soon as the medics left the room, Inosuke was up on his feet. He dashed to Tanjiro's side and stared down at him, panting. Zenitsu gave him a gentle hug from the side. "Be careful with him," he whispered. "They had to break his nose back in place. And he lost a finger. He'll be okay, though."
Inosuke felt dizzy as his gaze met Tanjiro's battered face. He might have fallen had Zenitsu not been there to balance him. Crescent-shaped bruises lined Tanjiro's undereyes, and the bridge of his nose had been casted. He was barely awake.
"Tanjiro..." Inosuke whispered with a lilt of uncertainty, and Zenitsu let go of him so he could kneel at the side of the bed. Nezuko supportively rested a hand on Inosuke's shoulder.
Tanjiro blinked sluggishly, glancing over at his love without the energy to focus his vision. "Ino," he flashed a jaded smile. "See? I'm back, like I promised." He shakily reached for Inosuke's face with his uninjured hand.
Inosuke leaned into his touch when he made contact with his cheek. His fingers were much cooler than usual. "Yeah, but not in one piece," he breathed wearily, glancing at his bandaged hand. He felt angry. If it weren't already dead, he would have wrung the neck of whatever demon had stolen Tanjiro's fingers.
"Lay with me...I'm cold." Tanjiro's eyes rolled back for a moment as he fought his exhaustion and the medications he'd been given. Inosuke thought he seemed oddly at peace with the injuries he had sustained.
"You lost a lot of blood," Zenitsu said, taking a step closer. "You just need to rest."
"I want him...to lay with me." Tanjiro said it as menacingly as he could muster, but it came out more somnolent than anything. He could barely part his eyelids.
Inosuke timidly looked up at Zenitsu for approval. He was worried he might hurt Tanjiro somehow if he were to snuggle up to him.
Zenitsu sighed. "Be careful. And don't kiss him while he's drugged up." Nezuko nodded in agreement.
"Hm...what if I want him to?" Tanjiro's mouth hung lazily open as he finished his sentence.
"Shut up, Tanjiro."
Inosuke stood and hugged Nezuko, who jerked in surprise before returning the gesture. Zenitsu shuffled over and hugged both of them, and the trio stood there, in a group hug, for a while. "I'm glad you're back safe," Inosuke mumbled.
"We tried our best," Zenitsu sighed. "Sorry he's not in better shape."
Inosuke wasn't sure how to respond. He squeezed Nezuko a little tighter.
"I guess at least now you don't have to hold up your side of the bet," Zenitsu added. "Your leg does look a lot better, though. Good work!"
"Thanks, I've been working out."
"Cold..." Tanjiro slurred impatiently, eyelids stuck shut.
"Guess you better go lay with him," Zenitsu laughed, stepping away from the hug. Nezuko patted Inosuke's head when they pulled back from their embrace.
Inosuke climbed under the blankets and softly rested an arm across Tanjiro's belly. A muted sound of satisfaction escaped Tanjiro's lips as he felt the heat of Inosuke's skin against him.
"...Are you good?" Inosuke eyed Zenitsu's lower lip, which had busted open down the right side. It had started to scab over.
"Yeah, just some broken ribs. Nothing new."
—————-
When Inosuke awoke, Tanjiro was facing him, injured hand resting atop his arm. Seeing the empty space where his finger should have been was rather jarring, even with bandages masking the wound itself. It hadn't been that long since Inosuke had held that same hand, with all the fingers still present. He wondered if hand-holding might be strange without it.
But then he noticed Tanjiro's chest rising and falling with his breaths. The quiet whirring of the air being pulled through his lips into his lungs before it was released again. The pulse that tapped steadily between their ankle and foot. The mutual warmth they had created, trapped in the blankets around them.
It was more than he ever could have asked for. To know, unequivocally, that Tanjiro was safe, and that the closeness they shared was born from trust, and love. No scar or lost appendage could change that bond, and Tanjiro's peaceful expression aligned with that notion.
Inosuke let him sleep for a while, just watching his face. Thinking.
—————-
"It'll be strange learning how to do things with this hand again," Tanjiro thought aloud, looking at his bandaged palm.
"Are you sad?" Inosuke sat cross legged before him on the bed, watching as Tanjiro turned his hand over.
"Sort of. It was more just scary seeing the aftermath. And losing so much blood. It hurt a lot less than I thought it would. I guess that's adrenaline for you." He poked at the space where his finger had been before.
"Yeah. I bet you can still do everything you want to." Inosuke shrugged.
"Well, that's the one thing that's making me a little sad."
Inosuke looked up at him. "Huh?"
"It's my left ring finger." Tanjiro smiled plaintively.
Inosuke raised an eyebrow.
"I'm not too upset about my pinky. But I kind of wish it were the other way around. I'd rather have part of my ring finger left."
"Was it...your favorite finger or something?" Inosuke was lost.
Tanjiro felt ignorant for having forgotten Inosuke's lack of knowledge on social customs. "When people are in love," he explained, "and they decide they want to stay that way for life, they exchange rings, and they wear them on that finger. It shows everyone what they mean to each other." He sighed, examining his hand again. "And I can't do that anymore."
Inosuke furrowed his brow, trying to think of a quick solution. From his perspective, this was a trivial predicament, but the woeful tone of Tanjiro's voice was enough for him to contextualize what it meant to him. "Maybe it'll still work if you wear it on your toe."
Tanjiro couldn't help but burst into laughter. He threw his arms around Inosuke's shoulders.
"What?" He started to blush. "What did I say?"
"I just love you; that's all." He pulled away and studied his confused expression before planting a quick peck on his lips. It had been far too long since he'd done it.
Inosuke liked how Tanjiro was thinking. "Hey—more." He reached up to cradle the back of his head.
"Sure." Tanjiro scooted forward before leaning in, so much so that Inosuke was pressed between him and the headboard.
"Wait..." Inosuke shrunk away a little, loosening his grip. "You still have any drugs in you?" His eyes narrowed a bit as he observed Tanjiro's expression.
"Nah, I'm sober now," he whispered through a smile, and pressed his lips to Inosuke's to prevent him from saying another word.
And it happened all over again. That sort of melding into one, where their lips moved together as if they'd rehearsed the kiss before. Inosuke firmly held Tanjiro's face against his; a pleading attempt to lengthen the moment.
Tanjiro loved the feeling of being wanted. He softly placed his right hand at the center of Inosuke's chest, and humored his request, snuffing out what little space was left between their mouths. Inosuke rested his free hand at Tanjiro's waist.
At last, Tanjiro drew back, letting out a breathy giggle when he saw the enraptured look on Inosuke's face. He was thankful that his first kiss hadn't turned out to be his last. After stretching his legs out behind him, he laid his head in Inosuke's lap. How grand it was to be in each others' company again.
"So..." Inosuke trailed off, gazing down at him lovingly. He ran his fingers through Tanjiro's hair.
"Hm?" Tanjiro looked up, suddenly feeling a lot less confident in his own appearance as he remembered his nose had been broken. He hadn't even gotten the chance to observe the damage in the mirror yet.
Inosuke had no problem seeing past the bruises and bandages. The boy who lay in his lap had become more precious to him than his wildest dreams. "Where do I get a toe ring?" he asked, with a genuine inflection.
Tanjiro reached up to cover Inosuke's mouth with his dominant hand. "Give it time," he said firmly, stifling a grin. The look in Inosuke's eyes made it clear that, however he looked, he had nothing to feel insecure about.
Inosuke knew he was getting ahead of himself. A ring, whether meant for fingers or toes, was apparently worth a lifetime of commitment. But as he looked down at Tanjiro, and the way he looked back—with such a kind, inviting intensity—he was sure his gut had been correct. Leading his hand away from his lips, he spoke, forthright. "But I already know I want to be with you." His gaze fell to Tanjiro's lips once more. "As long as I'm alive." He'd never been so sure of something, and he was almost frightened by it.
Tanjiro could hardly hide his own agreement. The two years they had spent as friends made him feel sanguine in the long-term success of their romance. But he had enough wisdom to know that despite how he felt presently, the future could always hold something unexpected.
Rather than bring this to light, though, he simply pulled Inosuke's face to meet his own again. The kiss was chaste, but harbored a boundless passion, as if he had conveyed his response through it. I know it, too, he thought. And if you only asked, I'd say yes.
——————
"When do you think it'll start making fruit?" Inosuke asked, standing with his arms crossed in front of the plum tree. The trunk was about his height by now; the tips of its branches far out of his reach.
"Maybe next year? I'm not really sure." Tanjiro sat in the grass, hands folded neatly in his lap. He watched Inosuke as he stood before him, dressed sharply in formal attire. His hair was tied into a loose little bun at the back of his head. He looks so handsome, Tanjiro thought, noting the way his clothes, which had been fitted to his measurements, fell just right over his frame.
Time had flown. To think the seed that once fit so easily in one hand had become a full-fledged tree. Tanjiro was amazed that the garden caretakers had even allowed it to grow any larger than a sapling, especially when he had planted it in such an odd place. No one questioned its random emergence there, and it had become a part of the landscape. Someone had even arranged a circle of stones around its base, which solidified its belonging in the garden.
The world as a whole was much different from what it once was. Tanjiro and Inosuke had sustained many more scars, both externally and internally. Muzan had been defeated. Nezuko was human again. And even with the grievous losses they had all endured, it was evident that the sacrifice wasn't for nought. The air of peacefulness that fell over the country was ever palpable; sometimes so much so that it was almost suspicious. None of them had been so happy in years.
"You remember when I stole that one for you?" Inosuke broke a low-hanging flower at the midpoint of its stem. He hoped making some small talk would calm his nerves.
"How could I forget?" Tanjiro couldn't help but reminisce about when they had first begun to fall in love. The familiar feeling of butterflies settled in his stomach as he did.
"I dunno. We were still kids. I don't expect you to remember everything." He gulped. His words were falling out too quickly for his liking.
Tanjiro smiled, noticing the uneasiness in Inosuke's voice. "I remember the important things. It really wasn't that long ago, you know."
Inosuke tucked Tanjiro's hair behind one ear, adorning it with the blossom he'd picked. "It's been long enough. Will you finally let me get you a ring?" He joked, admiring his work. His hair used to be so short. Tanjiro had grown it out to his shoulders, which accentuated its natural wave.
"Oh, you mean a toe ring?" Tanjiro adjusted the blossom, smirking.
"Shut up," Inosuke chuckled, finding himself a bit flustered from his expression. "Unless you really want one." Please say no.
"I'll wear whatever you provide." He let his eyelids flutter shut as a summer breeze washed over them.
"So you are ready!" They had discussed this subject casually on several occasions.
Tanjiro took a deep breath. "Ask me seriously sometime and find out."
Despite knowing this was a coded agreement, Inosuke was beginning to think he shouldn't have joked about the subject. "Maybe I will," he said, lowering himself to the ground to sit next to Tanjiro. He felt antsy, knowing they didn't have much time left to stick around. He racked his brain for something relevant to say. "You gave me my first hug here. What, four years ago now?"
"Yeah, I did." Tanjiro rested his head on Inosuke's shoulder, watching the plum blossoms tremble in the wind. "The first hug of many."
It was quiet for a moment before Inosuke spoke up again. "I love you. And I don't think I'm gonna stop anytime soon."
"What're you getting at?" Inosuke could hear the soft smile through Tanjiro's tone.
"I've been thinking about it a lot. That stuff I said after you lost your finger. I was serious. My mind was made up then, and it's stayed made up since." He bit at the inside of his cheek. "I wanted to spend my life with you. But after that, I didn't know if my life was even gonna last that long. I thought, why bother starting something if it wasn't gonna last."
Tanjiro raised his head to look at him, heart skipping a beat.
"But now the war's done. You're still here, and I'm still here, and I still feel the same. And I mean, it's about time, right? So, Tanjiro..."
"Wait, ah—" His cheeks were rouged, the way they'd so easily gotten when they were teenagers, and it dawned on him, apace. This was why Inosuke had been so intent on visiting the tree.
"Do you think...you'd want to spend your life with me, too?" He dug around in his pants pocket as he spoke, retrieving a simple wedding band from it. As he held it between his index finger and thumb, Tanjiro stared at the flicker of sunlight that reflected from its convex surface.
"I—yes." Tanjiro blinked in astonishment. "Yes!" Then, after instinctively holding out his left hand to him, he retracted, embarrassed. "Hah, I don't know why I did that. Uh...it's not really for my toe, is it?" He felt his ears heating up.
Inosuke tried to laugh away the awkwardness. "Well, I kinda wanted you to be able to show it off. So it's meant for a finger. I was gonna have you choose, and I'll just wear mine on the same one you pick. So we'll still match. That's the part that matters, right?"
Tanjiro tried not to overthink his decision. "Can we see if it fits on my right ring finger? I think that's a good spot." He offered his other hand to Inosuke, splaying his fingers out a bit.
"I'll get it fixed if it doesn't." But as he guided the ring over Tanjiro's second knuckle, it was evident that no adjustments would be necessary. Oh," he breathed, a bit surprised. "Does it feel fine?"
"More than fine." Tanjiro was already grinning, delighted with the modest flair the ring added to his hand. He had a feeling he'd be looking at it quite a bit in the coming days.
Inosuke reached into his pocket again, then placing the ring's partner over his own finger. It felt a tad loose, but he didn't mention it. "Look, I know I won't be a perfect husband, but I can't think of anyone I'd rather be around. You're impossible to get sick of. And I'm gonna try to be the person you need."
"You are. As you are, right now. And you'll always be." He pressed his lips to Inosuke's. "That being said, I need to know why you picked today of all days to do this."
Inosuke felt the pang of sweat forming in his underarms, and he hoped it wouldn't show through his suit. "I kept trying to think of some special way to ask you, and I couldn't...but now, they're getting married. And it made me feel like I had to hurry up." He chuckled nervously. "I was feeling bold this morning."
"You're too much." Tanjiro rolled his eyes lovingly. "I'm glad you at least asked before the ceremony. I would have been mortified. But we have to head out now, I need to be there early for Nezuko's big day!" He sighed with the realization. "God, she's all grown up now, isn't she? That's so weird."
"Alright, that's enough." Inosuke stood and brushed off his backside, in case any blades of grass had stuck to him. "Let's go before you start getting all mushy on me." He helped Tanjiro to his feet, and they began to walk up the hill.
Tanjiro rubbed his eyes before too many happy tears could well up in them. "I love you," he whimpered, sniffling. "You big goof."
Like the rest of the world, Inosuke had changed, whether or not he realized it. He wasn't afraid to speak his feelings into existence anymore. To him, his response was just the same as it had been the last thousand times. But as he said the words once more, Tanjiro could see the growth in him now, more than ever. Once a boy who could barely comprehend the emotions of himself and others; now a man who expressed himself without a second thought.
"I love you, too."
*************
see next page for wedding doodles :)