tw- mentions of abuse
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Talitha didn't want to go back to the library to study the following evening.
She didn't want to bump into Sirius and his idiotic friends.
She chose instead to go to the Astronomy tower.
Astronomy was always a strong subject in the Black family. Everyone was named after a star.
That was one of the few things she admired about her family. The names would always mean something so special.
Talitha walks up the to the astronomy tower, admiring the darkness of the night sky, she stood there staring at the twinkles of the stars.
A voice interrupts her from her thoughts.
'My dear sister what brings you here.'
She looks at who says this and disgust crosses her face.
The sight of Sirius, makes her body harden with anger.
'Don't call me your sister. Don't talk to me at all actually. In fact don't look at me ever again!' She spat out, turning away to go back down the stairs.
'Why must you be so harsh to me? All I want is the best for you.' Sirius asks.
He's sat down on the floor leaning on the wall, with a cigarette packet by his feet.
'You mean no such thing. How dare you speak those words to me. How dare you! I heard what you said to your precious boyfriend.' She turns back around her eyes burning into his eyes.
Her face harsh as she shouts out her words.
'What? When?' Sirius stands up slowly, stepping towards his sister.
'Don't play coy with me. You said that the only thing you regret when you left home is that you left Regulus behind. You wish you could have saved him. So don't call me your sister when you treated me with no such regard. You would have left me to rot, alone.' Her voice becomes harsher with each word, as her anger burns.
'I did say that yes...but only because...because you are their daughter. The only beloved daughter! You would have been fine, you are fine. Nothing ever happens to you. But Regulus, he is doomed. The responsibility of the oldest son passed on to him.' Sirius replies, shocked that his sister had heard what he said.
'You regret not taking him. Not me. It doesn't matter if he is 'doomed'. You still left me. And worse, you don't regret leaving me.' Her voice still coated in anger though slightly under the anger there is sadness, which can be seen through her hazel eyes.
'Because you would have been fine! They'd never hurt you. You are everything they could have wanted and more. Reg and I suffered.' Sirius shot back.
'Is that what you think? That I never suffered?That as the beloved daughter nothing could possibly happen to me. That's where you are wrong. Beyond wrong brother.' Her anger burns more, her body lighting up as the anger boils through her.
'Oh yes I'm sure.' Sirius snarks sarcastically. 'You believe that you suffer but your suffering could never be in relation to mine. Nor Regulus, especially now.' Sirius fires back his voice raising.
'You truly have no idea do you. You've been stuck in your own world for so long that you never realised the truth.' She scoffs. Her anger still present.
'And what is the truth? That you are just as bad as our parents and their pure blood mania. That you taunt and hurt anyone who isn't like you. That you walk around here like you have no cares like nothing could ever happen to you, that you are the purest Black. The one who shall rule.' Sirius shouts at his sister.
'Don't you dare speak to me that way. You have no right to. You are the one who left us. Who left me.' She spits back at him
Sirius stands still staring at her before replying. 'As if I had a choice. I would have died if I stayed there any longer.'
'Well aren't you lucky enough to escape. Whilst I must suffer in the fire. And Regulus must drown.' She faces away from me him, staring into dark sky.
She knew that he would have died and her mind plays back the memories of Sirius at home where his parents would abuse him.
She knew that if she stayed facing him her eyes would have betrayed her.
No matter how much she shouts at him, her eyes would show what she truly felt; sadness.
'And I regret not bringing you both with me.' Sirius remained still, staring at his sister, trying to read her.
'No you regret not bringing Regulus, not me. Never me. Don't act all high and mighty now. I've heard what you said.' Her voice was quieter this time but the anger still evident.
'Alright fine! You are right. I do regret not bringing Regulus. Because I know that Regulus shall die. He doesn't want this, any of this. The burden of it all, as the chosen one. If he sides with the dark Lord he shall die but if he rejects than he shall suffer a fate worse than death. Where as you will always be fine. I know that your sufferings are in nothing in comparison to ours. You align with them, you are on the pureblood side.' Sirius despised how his sister was making him feel. As if he didn't feel guilty enough.
'And how do you know he doesn't want this? How do you know I do? Why must you judge everything before you know the the whole truth. Just like you, I never asked for any of this. I don't want this!' Talitha was annoyed by his words, she faced him this time, truly showing him her rage.
'Well you sure don't act like you didn't want this. I see the way you side with them. The way you play your part so perfectly it's no longer an act, but the truth.' He shouted back, he wanted her to understand his pain. Of knowing how awful it was to see his sister turn into a monster.
Taken aback by his words she just shook her head before finally replying through gritted teeth, her mouth trembling slightly as she tries to hide the sadness burying under her anger.
'It's not. I do it to stay safe, because we can't all be like you.'
'I was exiled.' He sighed out, Copying her hushed tone, no longer loud.
'And who defended you? What do you think happened when you proved to them that you were a blood traitor? I defended you against our parents. Against the whole Black family. That's why I was sent away to France, to learn the proper way. So I wouldn't end up like you. Then I arrive back, only to hear that's what you have to say about me. That you have no regrets about leaving me behind.' The anger within her began to burn so much that it burned out and replaced with water.
As tears threatened eyes, her whole body began to shake.
'I had no idea.' Sirius looked away, before continuing. 'But it still doesn't change the fact that you are still able to have the life you wanted, yet you choose to be as bad as the rest of the Slytherins!'
Appalled by his words she just shook her head, pursing her lips together.
Gathering up the strength to allow the truth to be told.
'You truly have no idea do you?! What do you think happened to me in France? Do you think they were polite with their teachings? I had no life! I was beaten until I recited the pure blood prophecy, until I knew of nothing but the pure blood way of life. I had to agree to everything otherwise I'd have nothing but bruises covered on me.' Her voice chocked, she refused to let her tears pierce out.
She let out a sigh to regain her composure. Then she bore her eyes into Sirius to continue what she had to say. 'I had to suffer greatly because of you. Because I defended you.'
There it was, the truth.
The truth spilled out into the air.
No one but their parents knew the real reason for her schooling in France. She didn't want to tell anyone, wishing to forget about those lonely nights where her whole body stung.
She didn't have the heart to tell Regulus. And she didn't dare to tell her friends, they'd see her as weak.
But having Sirius accuse of her of being like them, snapped her. She wouldn't allow him to think she chose this. She had no other choice, she refused to be under their chains any longer.
She had to agree to the pure blood way of life to at least have some freedom.
Sirius pulling her from her thoughts as he whispers to himself. 'That's why you went to school in France. Reg said that they wanted to broaden your mind, going abroad would help.'
'It certainly did broaden my mind, to think one way. And one way only.' Talitha cackles, her body still trembling as a mixture of anger and sadness boils through her blood.
'Why didn't Reg tell me?' Sirius asks, still whispering.
She hardened her glare as her hazel eyes bore into his grey ones.
She carefully chose her words, wanting to hurt Sirius as much as he hurt her.
'Why would he? He's to never know. I don't want Regulus to be burdened with that. Older siblings must protect the younger ones. Something you didn't do.'
Sirius backed away from her. His back colliding into the hard wall. His mind exploded with guilt.
To hear her say everything that she's been through, hurt him so much. He couldn't look at her, he stared at the ground his eyes roaming the cracks on the floor.
He spoke his next words very quietly, 'I thought you were fine. They'd never hurt you.'
'They didn't. Not directly. The worst bit is that your words hurt me the most. I wanted to come back and see you, for us to return as siblings. But you sparked something within me. And now I despise you.' Her eyes still betrayed her, but the words she spoke were how she felt at this moment.
Talitha didn't want his pity.
She hated that in order for him to truly care something must have happened to her.
'I really thought they wouldn't do something like that. I thought they would have realised that with me. That by hurting us it can't push us into the darkness.' Sirius still quite as he spoke, he didn't want to look at her.
He knew that if he did he would break down. The guilt clouding his brain.
'In the darkness is the only way for me to live my life.' Matching his quietness, Talitha replied.
'I'm sorry. I truly am sorry. I never wanted this to happen to you. You are my sister, and I want to be there for you. I wasn't there before but now please let me be. Please.' After his last word he looked up at her and is instantly transported back to when the were younger.
Talitha stuck her tongue out at him as she ran past him in the hallway.
He then tripped on his laces, instead of rushing off to the kitchen she stopped and backtracked to Sirius. Instead of tying his laces she took off his shoes then took off her own. Tossing them both to the side then yanking him up so that they could dart off to the kitchen together.
Their father was outraged that they had discarded their shoes but Talitha just shrugged and said that 'they were eaten by the elves.' He remembered thinking that she was the best sister ever.
Pulled back into reality by his sisters voice, that was laced with pain.
'Don't you dare! Don't call me your sister. Like I said, you are no brother to me. You said those words, you picked what you wanted. Now you must live with it.'
'It doesn't have to be like this. Don't let our parents madness separate us. I care about you.' He begged, he knew that we would do anything to have his sister back.
'That was all you. They did nothing. Now that I think about it you never really cared. I was a nuisance in your life. Regulus was the one you truly cared for. All those letters you sent him with the kindest of words. Nothing for me. So don't tell me now that you care for me when you left your 'sister' to perish.'
It pained her to relive the memories of being forgotten by her older brother. It was lonely in France she never heard of any news and was desperate to come back to be with her brothers.
'If I had known how much you cared I promise I would have done more. I thought you wanted nothing from me.' Sirius said, desperation was obvious in his voice.
He wanted to have his sister back, but knew her stubborn ways. He knew that he would have to work hard to attain a relationship with his sister again.
'Now I want nothing from you. I don't want to converse with you ever again. You have brought me nothing but sadness.' Each word she said stabbed Sirius further and further.
His mind began to spiral further, as it was a war in there.
'I'm sorry.' He squeaked out.
'Too late.'
And with that she left the astronomy tower, cascading down the steps into the darkness of the dungeons.
Sirius left with his spiralling thoughts.
The night sky illuminated around him, but he took no notice of the beauty of the stars.
He stood still shaking as tears fell from his eyes, he hated everything about himself.
He could never do anything right he thought.
He wished that he could find a way to disappear and forget it all.