Blowing the smoke out of my mouth, I watched the night sky from the roof of my apartment building.
I've had a very stressful night. I woke up at around 2 AM when someone was trying to climb into my window, not to mention you have to climb a fucking ladder just to get to my window. He would've been better off going through the front door. Needless to say, the loser had the audacity to try and take my shit. Obviously I beat the shit out of him and told him to leave before I called the cops.
Yeah I know, I probably should've called the cops, but he looked around 17 years old and he didn't get far enough to take my stuff so I let him go. When I was younger I would've killed for a chance to beat it before someone called the cops.
Now I was sat on the roof of my apartment building smoking a cigarette, reanalyzing all the stupid things I've done in the past.
I was zoning off into space when suddenly I could feel my flip phone vibrating in my pocket. I pulled it out to be faced by an unknown number with the state the call was from. It took me by surprise to see the place I dread the most, Arkansas. When I fled the city of Pine Bluff I planned on never looking back, and know it's caught up to me again.
"Hello" I said very monotonously.
"Hi, is the Graysen Johnson" a lady with an overly high pitched voice rang through my tiny cell phone.
"Yeah this is her, who's asking." I stared at the sky, slowly taking a drag from my cigarette. I want to know why the hell someone from Arkansas is calling me at 2:30 in the goddamn morning. Although there is a major time difference between Ireland and Arkansas, so I'm assuming it's only about 8 AM there.
"This is Linda, I'm a lawyer at Arkansas State of Law and I've been taking care of an estate your mother has left in your name. I'm aware your mother has been gone for awhile and your father had taken care of the property when she died. Now that your father is... um, gone away this leaves the house in your name. Can we maybe schedule a meeting to discuss what you want to do with your property?"
Fucking Linda.
"I no longer reside in Arkansas, for one, and for two, I left that god awful house a long time ago for a very good reason, what makes you think I would ever want to go back. Hell, basically the whole city of Pine Bluff knew why I left and It's not a small city and I'm sure it's not hard to put the pieces together. I don't want anything to do with that house so you can do what you please with it." I cut straight to the point. I then threw my cigarette on the ground, bringing my leg down from the ledge of the building so I can put it out.
"Ms. Johnson, I know you've had a tough time these past few years but-" I quickly cut her off.
"Listen Linda, You have no right to bring up my past and I assure you that I will NOT be coming to Arkansas to look at a house that I've wanted to burn down since the 3rd fucking grade. You're wasting my time and if you think I'm going to go out of my way to fly all the way down to Arkansas you're hittin' up the wrong person."
"Sorry, Ms. Johnson if you no longer want the estate you're gonna have to sign some papers and usually whoever signing these papers must inspect the home before making a final decision," Linda completely ignored my behavior. God I could almost smell the overly sprayed perfume radiating off her body.
"Just get rid of the fucking house Linda," I shouted into the phone while emphasizing her name.
"Ms. Johnson, I already told you we cannot 'get rid' of the estate without you inspecting the house and signing papers first. So you can either come down to Arkansas from wherever you are and sign the papers, or you can keep the house. You have 2 months to make a decision Ms. Johnson." I could almost punch this lady right now.
"Dammit, Linda." I said into the phone before hanging up. This is not how I wanted to start my day.
I got up from my chair and and walked to the stairs and started jogging down them back to my apartment. I slammed my door open, and just with my luck the door fell off of it's hinges.
"GOD DAMMIT" I yelled kicked the now cracked wooden door on the ground. I've had to reattach this door too many times to count, but it only happens when I slam open the door.
"Fucking shitty ass apartment." I walked further into my apartment and went over to the tiny circular table in the corner between the wall separating the kitchen and my bed. I grabbed my metal tool box thing and brought it over to my door, sitting down crisscrossed in front of where the hinge used to be.
The holes where the screws go in through the hinge won't stay in if you try to replace the screws too many times, which is what I've done, so I have to fill the holes with some little wood pieces.
I drilled the 3 original holes to a bigger size and then put glue in them and put the wooden pieces in the holes to fill it.
When I was finally done filling the holes, I picked up my door and screwed the hinges back in place.
"Fuck you." I said as I closed the door.
By then the sun was already starting to rise and I had a few hours until I had to be to work.
Deciding to go blow off some steam, I quickly fed Jerry, grabbed all my crap, putting my phone in my back pocket, and locked up my apartment headed to cruise around and waste time while I wait to go to Frank's.
I started cruising around on my skateboard, deciding that I should go to the skate park. When I arrived at the skate park the sun was barely peaking through the trees, and the park was still pretty dark and covered in shadows.
I spent a couple minutes on the ramps just messing around when I saw something move out of the corner of my eye. I quickly stopped on my board and turned to where I saw the movement. When I turned there was a man, tall, had a beer belly, and looked at me with these greenish blue eyes.
My eyes widened and I dropped the skateboard from my grip, it landing harshly on the concrete. I looked around to see if anyone was around, but when I turned back to the man he was gone.
Slowly I took a step back, unfortunately not seeing my board behind me. I tripped over it and landed on my ass, my hands roughly skidding on the smoothish concrete.
Today is not my day.
I quickly got up and brushed myself off, picking up my skateboard and quickly leaving the park. If my hands didn't already hurt from the fight I got in the other day, then they surely hurt now. They burned and I knew it was from when my hands slid on the concrete.
I reached in my back pocket and grabbed my phone to check the time. When I fully pulled it out I then realized that when I landed on my ass it shattered the screen of my cheap ass flip phone.
"GOD FUCK" I threw the phone down onto the sidewalk, it shattering into a bunch of pieces, then leaned against the nearest wall. The few people on the streets and sidewalk looked at me like I was a crazy person, and to be honest I probably am.
"Why the fuck do you do this to me?" I looked up at the sky, now fully blue and bright. I don't believe in God, but I think the universe is trying to tell me to give up.
Every single fucking time I except that I have a shitty life, something gets thrown at me that makes it even shittier. I know my life might not be as crappy as some of the people in this world, so I shouldn't be complaining but I can't help it. I can't help that the realm I'm living in right now is complete trash, and I can't help that I had such a bad childhood.
I just want to start over. I want to forget every single bad thing in my life, I want to light the match and watch it all burn in front of me.
Although there is always something that catches fire even if you don't want it to.
If the universe wants me to give up then maybe I should listen, maybe I should just walk away right now with nothing in my hands.
I think even if I did try to walk away though, I wouldn't be able to move. I can't walk away, I can't just give up because that's not who I am. At least I hope that's not who I am.
I looked down from the sky and realized I was only about a block away from the guitar shop, so, forgetting about my smashed phone on the sidewalk, I straightened myself up and started walking with my skateboard in my hand.
There was a breeze that swept through the streets, making my long stupid hair blow in my face. Fall was just around the corner, and I am excited. I love fall, it's not too hot, not too cold. The perfect weather, not to mention Halloween coming soon.
Now people have started getting out of their houses, riding their bikes and getting breakfast. Not knowing what time it was I just decided to go chill out in front of the guitar shop and wait for Frank or Carlos.
Until then, I will sit in silence, and let my thoughts drown the outside world out.
A/N: Sooooooo, I suck at updating. I kind of lost inspiration butttt i'm back. I'm very sorry but I'm going to try and update a lot more since it is now summer break. Also I would recommend going back and re-reading the chapters because I changed most of them. Ofc you don't have to if you don't want to but it would probably make more sense. <3