Estelle prepared quietly in her room at the cottage. She didn't retrieve her siphons and weapons, knowing that she wouldn't be able to use them on the mountain anyway. Their absence left her feeling only half dressed. She'd grown used to the weight of her siphons on her hands, and the comforting presence of Znaniya on her thigh and Aesira at her back. She felt incomplete without the objects.
Estelle sat on the edge of her bed, waiting. Mikael had told her to meet him at the outskirts of the grounds at moon high. She had a few minutes before she needed to leave. The shadows curled over her ears.
Are you sure this is the right thing to do? They asked.
Estelle sighed. Honestly, I don't know. I don't know what the consequences for this could be. We might not even make it to the Fountain of Dawn. There could be snow storms, avalanches, or landslides. Wild animals. Maybe worse.
Persuade the Prince of Sunrises to rethink his plan.
I won't be able to. You heard him just as clearly as I did. He thinks he has to do this to prove himself to his people. Estelle stroked the Bond and Mikael returned the gesture. I wish he could see himself the way I see him. The way his fathers and his friends see him, but he just can't seem to get past what his people think.
He will learn.
I know he will.
Ask him not to go, the shadows pleaded.
He won't listen. I know I can't talk him out of it. That's why I'm going with him. Estelle slid off her bed and crept out of her room.
She kept her footsteps light on the stairs, using the shadows to muffle any sound she might make. Estelle pulled them tight around herself as she passed Celeste and Sienna's bedrooms. Sienna's door was shut, but Celeste's was wide open. Estelle couldn't risk being seen.
She remained hidden in the shadows as she left the cottage. Estelle made her way through the empty streets, heading for her appointed meeting place with Mikael. Apprehension coiled in her stomach, but she tried not to dwell on it. If her mate was doing this, so was she. She wouldn't let him face it alone.
Estelle reached the meeting place. Mikael wasn't there yet. She released the shadows, but they remained alert, keeping themselves tucked close to her body protectively. Estelle crossed her arms. The night air was still cold, despite winter coming to an end. The mountains here and back around Windhaven would still receive snow and cold weather for a while.
The shadows tensed suddenly, and Estelle fell into a defensive stance, reaching for the unbridled magic that crackled through her veins. Nyx stepped into the open, raising his hands in surrender. "It's just me, Essie." Estelle straightened. "What are you doing out here?"
"I could ask you the same thing," Estelle replied.
"I was talking to Venelia. I wanted to be somewhere quiet so no one would interrupt me."
"Oh. Is she all right?"
"She's fine. She hasn't heard anything from her father. Dad has scouts watching the border and Azriel sent spies to monitor Tamlin, just in case." Estelle gave a slow nod. "What are you doing out here?" Nyx repeated.
"Waiting for Mikael," Estelle answered vaguely.
Nyx raised an eyebrow. "Why?"
"We wanted to spend time together."
"Why didn't you just stay with him at the Palace after your magic lessons today?"
"I..." Estelle hesitated. Nyx came closer and cold talons brushed against her mental shields. "Stop trying to read my mind, you prick."
Nyx withdrew his talons with a smirk. "Then be honest with me."
"I am waiting for Mikael."
"Why?"
Estelle sighed, rubbing her forehead. "You can't tell anyone about this."
"All right?"
"We're going to complete the Peregryn Rite."
Nyx's eyes widened in surprise. "What? Why? Do Thesan and Ameer know?"
"No, no one does. Mikael thinks he has to do this to prove himself to his people. I told him that I'm not letting him do it alone. We didn't ask for permission and we aren't telling anyone. We're leaving tonight, as soon as he gets here."
Nyx scrubbed at his face with an exasperated sigh. "Estelle..." He gave a frustrated groan. "What the hell am I going to tell Lysander when he realizes you're missing? Your parents will be worried sick. What about Thesan and Ameer? How much trouble will you get into for this? By the Cauldron!"
"Keep your voice down," Estelle hissed. "I don't know. Tell them...tell them the truth, I suppose. I don't know how much trouble we'll be in or what might happen. All I know is that Mikael won't be talked out of this, and I'm not letting him go alone."
Nyx stared at her, frustration and concern at war in his sapphire eyes. At last, he shook his head and pulled her into a tight hug. "Just be careful. Both of you. I'd rather not have to deal with your parents, Lysander, Ameer, and an angry High Lord all at the same time if you wind up dead."
"Thanks for the vote of confidence," Estelle scoffed, rolling her eyes. Still, she returned Nyx's embrace, hugging him harder. "We'll be fine. I promise."
"I'll hold you to that promise." Nyx released her and walked away. He paused only once, glancing back at her over his shoulder. Estelle waved him on and he vanished into the night.
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Mikael studied the portrait of his mother, now hung on the wall above his fireplace. He needed to leave to meet with Estelle soon, but doubts weighed heavily on his mind. Suppose he couldn't make it through the Rite? What if they were forced to turn back...or were killed? He couldn't drag Estelle into this. He needed to do it on his own. He had to prove himself. What if he couldn't prove himself?
Stop it, Mikael snapped inwardly. You chose to do this. You're going to see it through. He closed his eyes, releasing a pent up breath.
Mikael lifted his gaze to his mother's portrait again. "I wish I could ask you for advice," he murmured. "It's not that my fathers don't understand. They just...they only tell me the same things over and over again. Have patience. Be yourself. They'll learn in time."
Mikael shook his head angrily. "I'm done waiting. I'm done being judged for circumstances that were beyond my control. I'm done letting my fathers' reputations suffer because of me. They don't deserve that. Estelle doesn't deserve that. She doesn't deserve a mate whose own people despise him. She doesn't deserve to be brought into this."
"Passing the Rite will prove that I'm just as good as the rest of them. I've fought just as hard and struggled just as much. I want to serve my people and my Court. This will help them see that." Mikael searched his mother's gaze, although he didn't know exactly what he was looking for.
Another thought pricked at the back of his mind. What if it doesn't?
He forced the question aside. It will. Mikael flung open his balcony doors and flew away from the Palace without another moment's hesitation.
When he reached the Peregryn training grounds, Estelle was already waiting. She pressed her hand to his cheek and guided him down for a brief kiss. "Are you sure about this?"
"You don't have to come along," Mikael replied, not answering her question. "I won't be angry if you don't." His thumb traced her jawline as he memorized her precious features. She was so beautiful. So powerful. She deserved better than him.
"I haven't changed my mind. I'm still coming with you." Estelle bit her lip. "But Nyx knows."
Mikael drew his hand away. "Everyone will know come morning."
"What do you mean?" They spread their wings and took off, flying towards Aurora, illuminated by moonlight in the distance.
"The mountain is surrounded by wards and spells," Mikael explained. "As soon as we pass through them, my fathers will be alerted to our presence."
"Isn't that bad?"
Mikael shook his head. "They can't stop the Rite once it's in progress, similar to how no one can interfere with the Illyrian Blood Rite. The only way we'll be able to leave the mountain once we've begun the climb is by making it to the top and coming back down, or giving up and turning around."
"So we won't be stuck there?" Estelle asked.
Mikael nodded. "The wards would also take any weapons we have on us and we won't be able to use our magic. The shadows might be affected too. We'll still be able to fly, but flying straight to the summit is forbidden."
"How can you know everyone has obeyed that rule?"
Mikael grimaced. "Those who disobey it return featherless."
Estelle mimicked his expression. "That doesn't sound pleasant. Does it hurt to lose your feathers?"
"If they're lost naturally, like through molting or other similar methods, no. If they're forcibly removed...yes. It's like having someone stab needles into every nerve that was around the root of that feather." Mikael could feel Estelle's gaze on him.
"Has that ever happened to you?" She asked. Umbra tightened on Mikael's arm as he nodded.
"It happened when I first began training at the grounds. All of the Peregryns knew I was a bastard and some of them weren't as eager to train with me as others. Ronan and one of his old friend, Solust, were among them."
"I used to admire Ronan, you know," Mikael admitted. "He was the strongest warrior out of those in our age group. He was fast, powerful, and lethal. One day, he and Solust invited me to train with them. I was so excited."
Mikael gritted his teeth, forcing himself to continue the story. "They took advantage of my inexperience. Solust broke my arm and held me down while Ronan ripped out dozens of my feathers. They taunted me about being a bastard."
"They said my mother was a whore and my father must be too, if he had a male lover at the same time his son was being born. I was young enough that I didn't understand what they were saying. I didn't know what bastards or whores were."
"Ronan pulled out enough of my feathers that I was bleeding and couldn't fly for several weeks afterwards. I could do very little training until my arm had healed as well. I didn't tell my fathers what really happened because I knew Ronan and Solust would get into trouble, and that would just make things worse for me. I looked up the definitions for whores and bastards and that's how I learned what I was."
Mikael could feel Estelle's anger drifting across the Bond. Anger and a fierce urge to protect. Several of her shadows had found their way to him. They brushed against his neck and nestled in his hair.
"Ronan is a cruel monster who feels threatened by you," Estelle growled. "And he always has. That's why he's so horrible to you. You don't have to prove anything to him."
"No, I don't," Mikael agreed. "But I want to prove something anyway. And not just to him."
"What do you want to prove?"
"I want to prove that he's right to feel threatened by me. I want to prove that I am capable of being a great High Lord. I want to prove that I'm worthy of respect. I want to prove that I'm just as worthy as the rest of them, regardless of my birth." Mikael hesitated, then added, "And I want to prove all of that to myself too."
They landed at the base of Aurora as the moon began to dip low in the western sky. Already, the eastern sky was tinged pink. Estelle cupped Mikael's face in her hands, pressing their foreheads together.
"Then let us prove who you are," she whispered. "Prince of Sunrises. Angel of Dawn. Son of Thesan, Ameer, and Samanya. Heir to the Dawn Court. My mate. My equal. Mikael."
Mikael nodded, then took her hand. He drew in a deep breath, staring at the foothills of Aurora. He could sense the magical wards just ahead. They hummed with ancient and powerful energy. Estelle squeezed his hand and they stepped through the wards as one.
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For a bonus story mentioned in this chapter, please see the short story titled "The Truth of Self" in my additional book "Beyond the Books".