i miss you and i love you.
i've cleaned my room five times since i stopped talking to you and i stopped talking to you because i am in love with you and i need to let you go. you do not feel the same way. at least, i think that you do not feel the same way. even if you did, i love you and i do not want to hurt you the way that i seem to hurt everyone around me. so i am loving you and letting you go and ignoring you all at once.
there's a particular type of longing that comes with not talking to you. like a piece of my chest is with you at all times despite me walking the other direction. all i want to do is talk to you. but you do not feel the same way.
this is the ramblings of someone who is confused.
ignore this chapter.