ROARA
All I knew was bright light, pain, and then darkness.
I fell to the floor, Loki's body still in my arms, sobbing into his chest. I couldn't feel his heartbeat. I couldn't feel it.
"My child, what is the matter?"
I looked up. In front of me was a woman, hair dark as mine, eyes blue like my own, beautifully red lips. She was tall, far taller than me.
"Mother?" I asked. "Gaea?"
She nodded and crouched beside me. I looked around. We were in a forest, lush and green, birds chirping.
"Where are we?" I asked.
"My home. Come. Leave the man."
"No." I pulled him closer to me. "Please. I don't want to let him go."
She sighed and shook his head. "Come, we will return." Carefully she prized him off me, and pulled me to my feet.
Holding my hand she led me through the forest. It was so peaceful, I was surprised at how easily my anger had flooded out of me.
"It's because this is where your soul is at peace." She explained. "I can't read minds," she smiled, "just faces."
"Mother...can I call you that?"
"Of course." She led me further into the green landscape. The trees were thick, with more plants twining around them. They were a deeper and more vibrant shade of green than I could have thought possible.
"Mother," I stopped walking, "why am I here?"
She gave a light tug on my arm and I continued beside her. "Because daughter, you were in pain. A great deal of it. I've granted you powers before when you've been in distress but this was different. I felt I had to see you in person."
We got to a small clearing, two large cushions across from one another. "Sit." She said, a welcoming arm gesturing to the seats. I sat, surprised at how comfortable it was. She sat across from me, crossed legged. With a light gesture, a mug of tea appeared in my hands. It was one of those mugs without handles, made out of glazed green pottery. I gave it a sniff. Last time I'd had tea it had not gone down well.
"It's not poisoned. You are welcome to not drink it, if you would like. However if I wanted you dead I would not have to go to all this trouble. It's rose and chamomile." She smiled encouragingly, although I wasn't keen on the 'if I wanted you dead' comment. I took a sip. It was by far the best drink I'd ever tasted. "Now child, speak to me."
I put the tea down by my feet. "A man I care about." I began.
"The one in the clearing?" She asked.
"Yes. He was killed by a woman who wanted to use the powers you've given me for her own use. I... I couldn't..."
"Your rage, my child, is both a blessing and a curse. You feel like no other. Everyone experiences this earth differently." She gestured to the forest. "You think the green you see here is the green that I see? Or that your male companion would see, should he open his eyes? It is not. You have to control this emotion of yours, because it is connected to the powers you hold. I cannot help you with that. Only you can do it. Your friend, she killed this woman you speak of?"
I paused. "Yes. How did you know?"
"I see much daughter. You would do well to remember that. He is not dead you realise. It is why I have taken us here. Here time cannot touch us. He has but moments, though moments may be enough. Odin always had something to say about time." She sighed and stirred her tea with an invisible spoon.
"You know Odin?"
"Of course!" She laughed. It was a sweet sound, like bees in spring. "He is an old friend. It was on my word that he sent his son out to look for you, as a favour to me. Thor I believe his name was. I do not like to interfere with the lives of my children, but when they are in danger I do what I can."
"You said that Loki is not dead. But I saw him die. I saw the life drain out of his eyes." I held back the tears from my eyes. This was not a woman I wanted to look weak in front of, whether she was my mother or not. The power that radiated from her was one that I both was in awe of and terrified by.
"Life is a peculiar thing." She gestured to a bush beside us, which on her command, blossomed and bloomed. "You see life is fragile." She squeezed her hand into a fist, and instantly the bush withered. "It treads a fine line." She opened her hand and it came back to life. "A thing may seem dead, it may seem lost to the world. But often it can be revived. You just need to have to the skills and the knowledge to do it."
"Give it to me. Please. I haven't asked you for anything before."
"That is because you did not know of me before. If I give this to you, it will come with a price. Are you willing to make that sacrifice?" Her eyes darkened, and she seemed to grow in her space, taking up more of the clearing than she had before. The birds stopped chirping. The blue sky grew dark. She was waiting on my response.
"I would do anything."
She shrank back to her original size, the light flowed back into the sky, the birds began to sing again. "You truly value his life above all else?"
"I could not explain it Mother, even if I had the words to do so. It is something even I do not understand." I was beginning to sound like her, to talk like I used to do in my own time.
She nodded sagely. "The heart does not forgive. It is complex. But it brings meaning."
I wasn't sure how much of what she said was meaningless platitudes, and how much was honest to god truth.
"You sound like Frigga." I commented.
She nodded. "She and I have much in common."
"She was very kind to me when I was in Asgard, not that I can remember much." I picked up my tea and took another small sip.
"I do not know if anyone has told you, and I'm sorry it must be me who does, but Frigga passed on."
I stopped, my cup nearly to my lips. "She... died?"
Gaea nodded sadly. "The dark elves invaded Asgard."
I swallowed. "People die. Sometimes we can't save them. But sometimes we can."
She nodded. "You are beginning to understand. In order to fulfil your potential you must be able to tread the line between life and death. It is a difficult balance to hold. For growth, for the nature of the earth, it is vital to know which side of that line you must walk. In order to save lives, sometimes you must take them."
"That doesn't feel right." I didn't want to argue with this woman, but I still felt the need to speak my mind.
She smiled sadly. "I know. It never will. But it is the truth. We do not have much time. We must return to your friend."
I stood and followed her back through the forest.
As we got to Loki's limp body she stopped me. "Are you sure you are willing to do this?" She asked.
I nodded. "I'm sure."
"You are brave daughter. I chose well."
"Will I... Will I see you again?"
"Yes. You need only call to me. Know I may not always answer, but when you really need me, I will be there." She placed a hand over my heart and closed her eyes. I felt a warm sensation spread through my chest, into my arms and legs, flowing down to my fingertips. "Go." She told me. "You will achieve much, if you stay true to this." She pressed a finger to my heart. "It is what gives you strength."
And then everything faded into a soft light.
Then I was in agony. I fell to the floor, Loki in my arms. But I knew what to do.
I pressed my hand to his chest. Tears of pain were filling my eyes, but I didn't care. She had done what she had promised. I had the skill and the knowledge, and so much more. I saw colours swirl around me and move into his body.
I flew backwards, hitting the wall hard. My eyes were barely open as I saw Loki jerk upwards, very much alive.
I sighed in relief and closed my eyes, falling back against the wall, the entire left side of my body throbbing painfully.
"Roara!" Someone was shouting, but I didn't open my eyes. I had done it. I had saved him.
"Roara!" Someone repeated. I opened my eyes, and instantly something was different.
"Loki?" I croaked, my hand moving out to touch his face, cupping his cheek.
"Roara, your face, what happened to your face?" He asked frantically, hands hovering over the left side of my face.
"I did it." I whispered. "You're alive." I was too relieved to be terrified by what I was seeing, and suddenly I realised, what I was hearing. But only out of my left ear.
"Roara, what did you do?" I heard Thor say from beside me.
"I made another bargain." I pushed myself up from the wall, looking around. The fine line between life and death huh? Thanks mother. Appreciate it.
I turned to look at Loki, who had panic etched over his face. I lifted my hand and twisted my fingers, watching as water flowed over them, suspended in the air. I lifted it up, watching it swirl into a flower above me. A blossoming rose. You need control over all the elements, I realised, in order to bring someone back to the brink of death. All the elements are part of the balance of the life.
I held Loki's face to mine, pressing my forehead against his. "It's okay." I told him. "Everything will be okay."
He nodded against my forehead.
"Not to break up the moment guys," Tony said from behind me, "But we've gotta go."
I looked up. At the end of the hall was a man with a massive machine gun.
"Don't worry about him." I sighed. "He's got advanced cancer." Everyone stared at me, including the man at the end of the hall who looked totally shocked. I turned to Alina, who looked terrified.
"You can... see it too?" She asked, astonished.
I nodded. "Not in the way you can. It's... different for me. More spiritual. Not medical. You can speed up natural processes right?" I asked. Alina nodded mutely. "Speed up his cancer."
"What?" She asked, completely horrified. I could see the balance of this man's life. If I killed him now, I would be saving a great many lives. I could see it in his colours, in the whispers in my ear. All the people who might die at his hands, all the people he had already killed.
I groaned and touched her shoulder, feeling her powers run through me and pointed at the man. He keeled over.
"Let's go."